Tender344:


Sorry about the rejection. Better offers will come

Amen.
Thank you

The University of Kansas just gave me my first admission denial in pharmaceutical chemistry (PhD).

Six more schools to go. I feel dejected right now because I thought that as a Pharmacist with master's in pharmaceutical chemistry that I stand a chance. 😢 😢 😢

Please, is there a WhatsApp group here one can join to get more information regarding USA PhD fully funded scholarship? I ve applied to some schools already and still applying but I would like to belong to a group where I could get some updates and information.

08130545073

Thank you!

devoutpraise:
AMEN

Amen.
I pray everyday that this be a dream but I wake up to it everyday. My B.P has gone up since I learnt of it. My brother is too gentle to think he could fall for gambling.

easzypeaszy:
let him collect as much loan as he can get.. Repayment is not by force.
Wt time he wl be frustrated n block all the account himself.
Una run pay 700k but can't arrange 700k fr him to strt business or somtin

How can we start up a business for him when he's just coming out of the seminary? The real world is a different world from where he has bn living in. Besides, I ve assessed him and seen he can't run a business yet.

AsomArchitectNG:
Too many gambling cases arising these days..

How do ppl get themselves involved in gambling?

These guys ain't out for ur interest as many may think. They're all out to make profit too so there's no way you can be smarter than them. The sooner you stop seeing gambling as a get rich quick scheme that wouldn't have any positive impact in ur lives and desist from it, the better...

I used to hear about gambling cases but I treat it with levity. Little did I know that my own younger bro that is supposed to be a reverend father in few yrs time was a victim.

frozen70:


This is a case of addiction
Where does he gets money for gambling

He borrows from friends and loan sharks. He was in seminary school so ppl thought borrowing him money was contributing to God's work not knowing he was betting with the money.

28plus:


The reason why Nigeria is the way it is today is because people don't get punished for their crimes. Your brother squandered 2M on betting, instead of you guys to allow the owners of the monies handle him, you decided to pay. What does that tell him? He's told that for each time he messes up, someone is on standby to clean up his mess. You don't know the monster you're grooming. I have a brother like that. He's 35 and doesn't think of anything other than betting. If someone is at the point of death in the hospital and you give him money to take to the hospital for treatment, the money is gone. He rather have that person die than for him not to play. For ten years, I have been saying he should be allowed to face punishment for his crimes, even if it means him going to prison or getting killed, but my parents will say it'll bring shame to the family. Today, they are the ones looking for him to take him to prison. He has become a thief, a fraudster, and a mad person. No thanks to bet9ja. Almost ten years after graduating from school, no meaningful career, no business, no wife, nothing nothing. Sadly, it doesn't even bother him as long as he has access to play. Most of his mates are doing fine for themselves, some not very fine but they are putting in the work. But him, it must be bet9ja. He's destroyed every single relationship he has built from birth because of what he has done with their money. Yet, this guy has not been to prison once. Continue to pet your brother you hear? E go soon shock una

Simple advice, take your brother to prison now. For everytime you clear his debt, you're grooming a monster.

My dad is already considering locking him up because we recently discovered he used my dad's BVN and our last born's BVN to borrow total of 400k from loan sharks.
That's the one that threw all of us off balance

Kobojunkie:
Does the seminary not offer mental health counseling services for people even with problems of addiction? Look into it and first get your brother into a treatment program as soon as possible. Then demand your brother get a job immediately since his seminary dreams have been put on hold thanks to his shenanigans. That way he can earn money which he can then use to pay for his treatment and his debt. Arrange to have his salary wired directly to pay off his debts if possible and work with him so he sticks to doing the work no matter what. If he is old enough to take out loans and gamble, he should be old enough to pay it off. But, please, and please, make sure he sticks to his treatment/counseling no matter what, or he will probably fall back in with his old demons.

The seminary doesn't even know about his addiction. We hope to get him a job as soon as he's done with service next yr since he's done with philosophy. The problem is that he's still borrowing to bet and he's 28 yrs old. How do I control an adult. If not for my parents, I would ve left him to his faith

Kul3ger:


Honestly, I'm not a professional in addiction intervention/recovery therapy, but i think several factors would determine the best intervention; including:

His age----If he's too old to be controlled, that may be a greater concern

Is he fully dependent on you/your family for accommodation and survival? --- If yes, i believe you can moderate his excesses, limiting his access to money, etc

Now he's out of seminary, is he willing to venture into something also promising that'll keep him engaged, possibly within monitored environments? I think being idle would do him great harm right now.

Is the family financially buoyant to invest in a new career path for him? That may include sending him abroad for studies. ---believing a change of environment may help.

Then, I'm not sure how that works but I guess there should be in-patient rehabs in Nigeria that admit addicts for supervised round-the-clock treatments.

Like I said, I'm no pro, I'm just concerned and trying to be logical.

Gambling, as with all forms of addiction, can ruin one's life. Hence, professionals always preach early intervention. Make una try act fast. Wishing you all the best!

Thank you. I picked up somethings here that would help

Kul3ger:
Why exactly did you settle 700k out of the 2 million debt?
Repaying the 2-million loan he collected to gamble should be your least problem right now. Your bros recovery should be. Otherwise, anything you’re repaying right now na waste.

You should be more concerned about how much the addiction has eaten him up to take up to 2 MILLION Naira LOAN for betting. Whatever made him accumulate such a debt in betting is apparently bigger than the debt itself.

Besides, Paying his debts would only enable his addiction.

While finding an efficient therapy for his addiction, you should allow him feel the heat of his actions.

If you keep paying up his loans without an intervention/recovery therapy, his addition severity would get worse and that’s more trouble for you and your aged parents.

What kind of help do u suggest please. We only paid up the much we can now because of loan interest accumulation

FreeStuffsNG:

Hmmm. Let him carry the new cross. He will be alright las las.

There are some battles you fight to overcome by yourself, gambling is one.

He needs to learn the shame and failure that
comes with short cut to success in life some day he can save souls from the spirit of gambling. That may actually be his own calling just like Apostle Paul was pushed to take his ministry of the Good News to the Greeks and others.

The only issue is that he borrows with his family members details. First was our last born, now I discovered he borrowed with my Dad's details as well. The loan shark ppl ve bn calling and harassing them to pay up. If not for the harassment, I would ve allowd him wallow in his mess

Please I need mature minds advise on this topic.
My family recently discovered that my younger brother who has been in the seminary and was supposed to be a reverend father in few years time has a very big gambling issue.

Over the years, he has accumulated a gambling debt of 2M (borrowed majorly from loan sharks). When I discovered about the incidence, I hesitated involving my retired dad and mum because of the shock they might get hearing about this but when I discovered I couldn't pay the debt alone, i had to involve them. Thank God they handled it calmly. My dad and I have offset 700k debts already but I recently discovered that he is still borrowing and betting even recently (someone that has access to his details revealed this to me today). I am totally devastated and I don't know how to relay this to my parents to avoid heart attack. The gruesome part of the whole story is that he is JOBLESS because of his seminary school journey (which he has willingly pulled out from because of this issue).

Please my fellow nairanders, how do I handle this problem? I'm fed up

tunize:
She is a virgin at 32 na waitn she tell u or na waitn u know? because both na two different thing.
3yrs is no big deal though me i can cope with 3yrs but above that lia lia

She told me and I also found out it's true

stanliwise:
@Pamfresh
Biologically - Yes and please never ignore this. Age is so so important that Age and biological functioning goes hand in hand. Depends on how much care though

Psychological - Yes, it has a lot to do with how you think things and how you react to them. But age and psychology are a bit technical, some are more mature in mind despite their young age. While some are not so mature despite being so old.

Socially - Not at all, anyone can share, love and interact, there is no limitations.

So it depends on your angle and if you ask my opinion I will say you should not go ahead until you think otherwise.
Reason is you already now have an insecurity on the age of thing. You need to get to specifics of what you fear in the future and consider what you will do in worst case scenario.
Happy thinking.

I'm looking at it from the biological angle. I see it that in the next decade she's probably ageing faster than I n it might affect me in the future. But she has most of the qualities I want in a woman when it comes to spec.
If u were me, would u go ahead and marry her?

cooooooks:
It's like you want to generate a problem.

How?

SmellySperm:
oga no reason marriage with her,e get why

Please I would be grateful to know ur reasons. That's y I created this thread

Juliusmomoh:
Lai lai... I can't marry someone older than me... During s*x, it whould look as if am doing it with grandmama

She actually has a baby fine face. U can only tell her age by her hand (has kind of Christian mother hand).

Bennysam:

Oga let it be only relationship, don't marry her I repeat don't marry her

Thanks. I need more opinions

nuelsam:
I've been in some sort of relationship with a lady quite older than I was.....I tell u, that was one of the best relationship I ever had....mature, pretty,intelligent and quite reserved......it never felt awkward that I was dating a lady older than me....we just had to break up when she moved to another country...ive never been a fan of LDR .....we still talk tho.

What was the age difference? Were u willing to settle down with her if it had come to that?

SavageBoy:
As long as she got what you need in a wife,and is very much submissive(which is very vital) then why bother

All of these things that has to do with a man not getting married to someone older than him and stuffs like that are just generally what people think or a societal thing and you don't always have to go by it

Though from the way you sound,there 55% possibility that you'll still leave this girl.But if she will make a good wife,home maker,your pillar of support and a good mother to your kids then why are you hesitating.And as for the spacing, it's not as if you want each of your children to have a five-year gap in between,it can still be done.

My aunt is older than her husband with 3years and believe me when I say that she's one if the best woman any man can ever have as a wife. It's not even as if you'll go on telling people that your wife is older than you.

The ball is in your court bro,but if you know that you can't go ahead with her just tell her soon rather than raise her hopes high and then end up shattering her heart

This is encouraging. Thanks!!!

Pegi23:
My boo is 31 ND I'm 19. Age is just a number.

That's really commendable but I think it becomes more intriguing when the man is younger.

I had to create a new account because of this topic.
Mod please help me push this to front page as it would help mould or mar my relationship. Thanks!!!
Please my fellow nairalanders I need advice on this age of a thing. It has been bothering me.
I'm 29 years old and currently dating a lady older than me by 3 years. Our relationship is still in its early stage ( 4 months plus) but I need to here people's opinion about our age differences.
This lady is a lady after my heart, she's very understanding, pretty, hardworking and above all a virgin (a proof that she's not promiscuous even at 32). I really want to settle down with her but whenever I remember the age discrepancy I usually ve a second thought. Recently, she just told me she dreamt of when I left her for another girl and according to her most of her dreams come to pass. I have bn troubled since then cos I don't want to shatter her heart. I am kind of the only son of my family (my younger brother is a senior seminarian) and my family has bn putting pressure on me to get married. I'm planning on getting married late next yr or early next two years and I wish to have like four to five children with good spacing and each time I remember my girlfriend's age it gives me a concern besides there is this saying that ladies age faster than men and I wouldn't like that. Apart from the age barrier she's really my spec but I ve bn trying so hard to overlook that n I can't still get over it.
Please, help me out with the pros and cons of a man getting married to someone older than him by 3 years. Is it advisable?