₦airaland Forum

AccidentedCars:
This will offend a lot of people.

But the men who are actually winning at life and relationships know exactly what I'm about to say.

Love is not a business strategy.

And marriage, whether you like it or not, is a business.

Two people merging finances. Sharing rent. Splitting decisions about schools, food, healthcare, family obligations, career moves.

That's a partnership. A merger. A joint venture.

And you would NEVER enter a joint venture with someone based purely on how they make you feel when the room is dark and the music is playing.

Yet that's exactly how most Nigerian men choose wives.

"I love her."

Great. Does she have a skill? A source of income? A plan? Can she manage money? Does she understand that ₦200,000 in Abuja in 2026 disappears before the month ends?

"I love her."

Okay. What happens when you lose your job? When the contract ends? When business goes dry for 3 months?

Does she have something she can activate to hold the house down while you recover? Or is the plan just "God will provide"?

"I love her."

I hear you. I loved someone once.

Let me tell you what happened.

I was with a girl for over a year. Beautiful girl. Kind heart. The type of person who would give you her last meal if you asked.

But she had no skill. No trade. No income. No hustle.

Her entire economic identity was ME.

When I was making money, we were fine. The house was good. Groceries were stocked. Fuel was in the generator. Life was beautiful.

Then I had a bad quarter. Two deals fell through. Cash flow dried up for about 6 weeks.

I didn't go broke. I had savings. But things got tight.

And the MOMENT things got tight, I realized something terrifying:

I was carrying two lives on one back.

Not because she was lazy. She wasn't. She was willing to do anything.

But "willing" and "able" are two different words.

She didn't have a skill that someone would pay for. She didn't have a network she could leverage. She didn't have a side hustle she could activate during emergencies.

She had willingness. Which is useless without capability.

Those 6 weeks nearly broke the relationship. Not because of fighting. Because of WEIGHT.

I felt heavy. Every morning. Like I was wearing a suit made of concrete.

Because I knew that if I didn't figure something out fast, two people would suffer, not one.

After that experience, I made a decision.

The next woman I commit to must bring something to the table that isn't love.

Love is the MINIMUM. Not the qualification.

The qualification is: can you hold this house down if I fall?

Here's what that looks like in practice.

I have a friend. Let's call him T.

T married a woman who runs a small skincare business from Instagram. She makes about ₦300,000 to ₦450,000 a month. Not massive. But consistent.

Last year, T's business hit a wall. A major client defaulted. He lost about ₦4 million in receivables over 3 months.

Most men in that situation would spiral. Borrow money. Take on bad deals out of desperation. Fight with their wives about expenses.

T didn't do any of that.

Because his wife's ₦300k-₦450k per month covered the essentials. Rent was already paid. She handled groceries. She handled the children's school runs. She handled utilities.

T had SPACE. Space to think. Space to restructure. Space to recover without destroying himself.

By the fourth month, he'd landed a new contract. Bigger than the one he lost.

He told me later:

"If I'd married the girl I was 'in love with' at 25 instead of the woman I chose at 30, I would have been finished. Because that girl at 25 had nothing but vibes. This woman at 30 had a business."

That's the difference.

A wife with a skill is not an insult to your masculinity. It's insurance for your household.

A wife who can hold things together during your worst quarter is worth more than a wife who looks perfect during your best year.

Now, someone will read this and say:

"So you don't believe in love?"

I believe in love the way I believe in fuel. Fuel is necessary. You can't drive without it.

But fuel without an engine is just liquid sitting in a jerry can.

Love without utility is just feelings sitting in a relationship going nowhere.

I want both. The love AND the engine.

But if you make me choose, I'm choosing the engine.

Because the engine can take me somewhere even when the fuel is low.

Feelings can't do that.

I'm in a better place now financially. I made 1.2 million from a single deal last month. Took about 4 hours of real work spread across a few weeks. The rest was waiting.

But I remember those 6 weeks when cash was tight. And I will NEVER put myself in a position where my household has one engine again.

Two incomes. Two skill sets. Two people who can carry the weight.

That's architecture.

Build a house with two pillars, not one.

Dem no dey advice who dey in love. Sometimes we have to learn the hard just to gain an experience.

Kipaji:
Most patrons of onlyfans and codedruns are married men.

How do you deal with your konji and unnecessary erection ??

JESHAL007:
The "uncontrollable" thirst for vagina that you call bollocks is what some men like Timothy Stokely (creator of onlyfans), Leonid Radvinsky (creator of myfreecams who also has a stake in onlyfans), the Nigerian creators of codedruns are using to make a killing. Martinez39s called it "digital pimping".

It's an era of hook up culture and cheap sex everywhere. Entrepreneurs should start looking in that direction as a significant number of the human male population would go any length, even at the risk of poverty and their lives just to get laid with a worthless pusssy.

The simp who feels proud in his paying of 15k for a bloowjob will be a valuable "client" to be tricked out of his money.

If this is coming from a married person I would worry less but coming from a soapypreneur, then I shake my head in disbelief for your palms.

Wotowotoman:
For soapy dream, he don tire

that cheap boy be faming himself since 1910

Pukkalolo:
Truth bomb 💣

I tell men all the time: That lady you're desperately trying to win over.... Another man is already tired of fucking her and ignoring her calls

Are you one of those men tired of fuckingg her?

Las last na cro cro go full ur preek.
Una mate don marry dey organise their life.
Dey play

SeverusSnape:
... And you 'foolishly' decided to join the JS2 boys in the thread?. What does that make you?.

Sanu SS2 boy

Don't be foolish to claim what you are not. The original poster had make sense in his teaching, at least for the parts I read earlier on and like I said it impacted me and gave me a change. But the crap you followers are teaching are nothing but delusion. My social media inbox are full of everyday girls begging for attention with their messages and apt responses. Some makes schedule on when they are free to visit and mind you all this are single girls or ones tired of boring relationship, not peoples wife. I can't change who I am or how I talk for any girl of any class. I try to use other guys chatting technique but it just come off too boring. Same way the girls would feel whereas you are somewhere praising yourself of your craft. Red pillers here preach isolation which is something am against and if you are a red pillar but never dey toast girls online or offline and once in a while you carry am come house come knack then you are just a novice. Fyi yesternight, na my new banny where I never knack best friend wey I carry come f.uck for house because constantly I dey buy her chops just make she watch and advice the babe for me. Come see d way d girl dey suck my lips dey wrap my legs. She reach house still give my girl phone to follow me talk whereas she disguise as if she slept at her aunts place. So point is, if you never dey see girls pant then you are just an emzor pill. Period.

Martinez39s:
Thank you!

Now that you have concluded this is a thread of pure stupidity and disgust, I hope you will now leave this thread that is beneath your intellectual and maturity level for we redpillers to continue with whatever we are doing, except you are insistent on garnering attention and causing chaos like a child for inexplicable reasons. I hope you will go elsewhere, or create your own thread just like redpillers did.

Remember, your antagonistic attitude will only waste your time and take you nowhere. You are not the first silly clown here, and you won't be the last.

Happy Sunday, bro. Hope all is well.

The original poster of this thread did make senses that transformed my relationship life, it did changed my life and reactions and somewhat made me pass through some phase. I agreed to certain to some point though overdoing it didn't make senses just like overdoing anything as we humans tends to be emotional being. I personally don't keep just woman or spend on just one though there are times I completely ignore my women when they have crossed the line and I don't over spend either way but just on things that would add value to their life which maybe they don't have the exposure to or can't afford, I mean if not why am I in their life.
But reading through this threads this days shows the self acclaimed relationship/affairs expert are nothing but nincompoops, perverts, clowns or even chronic masterbeters who hides behind their keyboard to claim warriors and master bedders maybe because they are only trying to sell some stupid e-book that adds no value to anyone. With most of advice here I bet they would never bed a common pru.stitute reason young girls see them as idiots, local champions and magas. Master.betion might help your relieve but never builds your confidence. Am the lady's guy so I won't matter to me if a troll calls me a simp long as my life gets better by the day. Giving out money doesn't prove love so is being stingy a prove of love but there is a saying that half a bread is better than puff puff.

When you see you a smaller guy you think you are/would be more successful than marrying and having beautiful kids with a very beautiful and young woman, make you go try that thing wey dey your mind then you will understand you are only having assumption or fallacy and not facts.

Lol, I really sorry for Una. At least am not an hypocrites like most of Una. You don't have a girlfriend, I mean the one that accepts you, and then you come to a faceless forum to spew trash about women of every race, size and colors yet on your social media accounts you are low key spamming messages to girls online, then one out of curiosity decides to meet you and then you make that a date. Soon you proposed to her even though you can't approach and keep a date with any girl off your Social media, then you forgets she had a boyfriend, a crush, a childhood friend, brothers, cousins and a host of other relatives. She still went ahead to accept you thinking you had sense. You appeared all lovey dovey, spends a million+ on your wedding, instead of opening a business thereafter for her knowing you are legally married. You start being your insecure self, wondering who she is seeing and texting, when you see a post bashing women or a post about women cheating you panick simply because thats the lifestyle you had indulged yourself in. And then your wife gets pregnant instead of rejoicing you became highly insecured and start panicking wondering who got her pregnant yet forgetting you were the one sleeping with her day in and night. So automatically now that she sees daily prick it now means she becomes very Hot for prick outside. Abd you start running around looking for DNA test because you have trust issue and you are out here telling me your own life has never spoiled because you take red pills? I wonder how most of Una go end up.

ThinkSmarter:
Same way a working class lady that I squatted from December last year till March this year wanted to take style stay till August.
And she often say, she can't do abortion oh and she is not ready to take any pill.
But, I dey use her ovulation calendar to know when to withdraw, she noticed my plan and started trying to hook me with her legs during withdrawal.
She will be like, why did you withdraw.
Don't you know that I am enjoying it...
Enjoying it kee you dia.
Na so I pursued her to go and rent her own apartment.
I only went to her place and fvcked her once.
And I have been avoiding her constant plea for intimacy.
I don't want any manipulation into marriage with her.
She's a decent lady though.
But I'm not interested.

Ehya! Bulls and yam stories

Make brothel your priority, its just your dick trying to grow bigger but remember to ask those workers for doggy style for the same price. Remember don't choose them let them choose you.

This thread irks of pure stupidity and disgust. Looks like js2 boys talking about love.

Mine I wasted more than half a million trying to travel out for footballing, I didn't even follow scouting program. That made me stopped watching and participating in football and thank God I now pass the football age requirement.

Afriifa:
Believing Seun is not a tribal bigot. Thus, commiting borrowed money on data to visit Nairaland. Now, I don't commit borrowed money to buy data for the sake of visiting nairaland again.

but you could use opera mini free basics/free 15mb

Philosopher1979:
The issue with money is that time changes things. I mean someone without money now can have money in 2 years time and so when she has the money of what use are you to her.
The money thing can only work in a society like taliban where women's work and employment, business, educational etc opportunities are limited. As long as women have these opportunities they can out earn men and money will be less needed in getting them.
I mean I wa a teacher and I'm now a lecturer and the girls seem to be doin better in school than the boys.
I even have smart girls I talk to and one is already thinking of working in kpmg
In my mind I wonder what amount of money can get a successful woman. 1 billion dollars or what. I'm academia a lot of lecturers are women. So that income disparity is not much anymore.

I wanted to respond to this earlier,
When did higher income = satisfaction or makes one Aromatic and why do you attribute intelligence to a particular gender instead of background, commitment and upbringing. Las Las academic success does not equals to real life success, other factors will truly contribute to ones success example is their background.

Poor pay + stress = job quit

Savingz:
🙆🙆
BEHOLD the beginning of the END ...🔥🔥who no adjust gi collect 🔨=Pukkalolo

This is just the pure truth... You wrote well.

When a man blows up and makes serious money, the first thing his brain screams is “I need women.”

But when a woman starts making money, her first thought is, “I no longer need men.”

That’s not a coincidence. That’s female nature on full display.

Look at these billionaire/millionaire wives in the Western world filing for divorce left and right. These women didn’t leave because the man suddenly became ugly or boring. They left because they now have enough of their own money… plus the fat divorce settlement coming… and they’ve concluded: “I can fund my lifestyle without this man.”

One would read this and thought, 'oh its just plain and easy to file for divorce and gets everything all to myself!'. Well I would love to correct that notion, people file for divorce for different reasons ranging from domestic violence or abuse, infidelity, breach of trust, substance abuse/addiction, incompatibility, conflicts etc. Even with a divorce paper, it does not mean automatic property split to the partners, only property's acquired under joint partnership during the marriage are splitted.

The moment a woman starts earning more than you, or meets a man who does, you don’t just become less attractive… You become useless in her eyes, especially if she had no genuine desire for you from the onset.

This is why that popular advice, “Just make money and women will follow you,” is becoming one of the most dangerous lies men are swallowing today.

Because here is the truth…

[b]Society is bending over backwards to push women forward… more scholarships, more corporate favoritism, more social support. In a few years, a huge wave of women will be out-earning the average man. And when that day comes, men will face mass rejection and silent heartbreak at levels we’ve never seen before. Not because women hate men… but because they simply won’t need men anymore.

I wouldn't hate on this, I mean we would call them broke if they couldn't provide or fund their lifestyle and too nothing good comes easy. And believe me too, women will always stick to the one she loves or find a comparability as she ages.

And it gets worse.

Because right now, the female intimacy gadget industry is exploding. Vibrators, intimacy gadgets, AI-powered realistic d!ldos… women are getting better orgasms from plastic and silicon than most men are giving them in real life.

Many women are quietly choosing toys over dicks.

Soon, a growing number of women will ask themselves: Why tolerate a man’s flaws, ego, and drama when I can have financial independence and sexual satisfaction without him?

My brother, this is the future staring us in the face.

The game is evolving. Most men will cry about it. The dangerous ones will adapt.

This too, I wouldn't cry a river if a woman tries to get sexual satisfaction on her own. It would drastically reduced sexual assault and abuse. I won't kill myself trying to satisfy a woman once I have gotten my satisfaction. For a fact, I like to get a new woman I met to try out sexual acts on her own before we have sex cause I don't want her to be naive.
Bottom line, work on yourself and accept technological/societal changes. Masturbation /intimacy gadgets has never been equals to real sex plus don't rule out emotional support which can never be gotten from intimacy gadgets. Have you ever seen a wealthy man who is glad/happy he has no woman to call his own? Same applies to the opposite gender. I have had women left me because they thought they deserved more only to end up being lonely for life because they were influence by social media post and contents. Since they already got B they thought new people they met would offer A when in reality no one is ready to offer a C option. So as I said earlier not everyone is meant for you in terms of specs, comparability, when to start a family etc

emmaodet:
No matter the situation, any man that knows his onions will adjust to the prevailing situation.
Men should stop worrying over what women do rather focus more on what they men can do to better their own lives.
You can't stop a woman from giving her number to a stranger or toaster, you can't control who she talks to at night for long, who she goes out on date with, who gave her a loft by the road side BUT you can change and improve on how you deal with all these situations Maturedly.
Men should strive to deal with women from a position of strength and if you think you are disadvantaged, it is better to improve on your self esteem to be able to walk away from abusive or toxic relationships.
No matter how many empowerment women are given, it is an illusion.
Most of them will still end up in the plantations with the so called men.
I will write more about this tomorrow

This is truth, women need men emotionally more than men need women sexually, am usually surprise to come online to see introverted abi perverted souls talk down on women and completely forgets about women roles in our society. Seems most people here have no sisters, mother's, aunt or female relatives. I completely understand dating like other asphere of our daily lives have their rules and regulations as well. People have specs, types and likes and you won't be everyone's like or spec. So its better people build with their type and specs instead of stereotyping.

Real reason outgoing guys gets more girls than your introverted souls. No human wants a zombie.

If hookup no dey, how I wan take Bleep?

I believe introverted dudes hid under the Internet to post trash and conspiracy theories . If you are a real dude you should be able to get a real match offline. Staying indoors with your assumptions won't change the reality. Your physical influence could.

These days when I meet a new girl, I don't ask for her contact or house address, I may give her my contact or not, then take her to my house (not usually for sex) but so she knows where I live. If she's interested in me afterwards, she would come around or give me a call. I have stopped stressing myself trying to build something with people who doesn't have the same interest.

Today's episode of lies "that never Happened". Were you there when she cheated? How many girls freely open their legs for you just because she accepted to visited you? Some people visit you to see if you are their standard.

Anyway, There is a girl I talked about how she followed another guy in my presence just because the guy bought her drinks and meat I refused to buy. I started avoiding her and giving her the silent treatment, I ignore her at her every presence. She goes around talking to every guy and billing them thinking I would be jealous but I just behave as if she does not exist. Last Sunday, she came around our house but I ignored her and pretended I never knew her especially as no one knew I was seeing her. This night my friend was telling me she came and was gisting one guys girlfriend that I have gotten her pregnant but I was ignoring her instead of me introducing her to my relatives and friends. Point is, this is her only way of apologizing and trying to get people to know and inquire about us. I wouldn't insinuate the first guy slept with her or even got her real contact and address but that was her way of getting back at me especially because that same day she saw me walking and laughing with my area girlfriend and the girl was being clingy asking me to buy her things before she leaves me alone (something she never does) but just because she observed the other girl was waiting for me. I don't keep one girl, and each one of them clearly knows that, infact I have asked out 4 girls out who were friends and they knew about each other, the advantage I had is that no guy in the area or outside would approach them neither would they accept and I would eventually get the best one of them. When you get a woman emotional, don't be emotional with her or her feelings, just treat people good and keep the good girl in your house.

I be akwa ibom and na akwa ibom I go marry fa