₦airaland Forum

To all the people screaming plagiarism: Relax. There's no need to get your panties all up in a bunch. I've actually tried to modify the post so as to give credit but i've been unable to do that for some reason. I didn't get the poem from any of the links you guys posted(didn't even know it was online), instead i culled it from The 2006 MAPOLY yearbook. I read it a long time ago, found the book again yesterday and it made my day so i decided to share it with you guys. Also i never actually took credit for the poem, i was very surprised to see 'a poem by Papadoh' in front of the title because it wasn't part of the original title. Anyway i'm sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings, that wasn't my intention. Now let's all go back to being friends, ok?

There is no egg in eggplant
No ham in hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?!
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where
A house can burn up as it burns down
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes. When stars are out they are visible
But when lights are out they are invisible.