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https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/viewtopic/1009

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How do you know when you're  ready for marriage? That's the million-dollar question. Pose that question to the outside world and you'll likely get the played out, "When you know, you know!" A successful marriage takes more than being madly in love—some prepared self-awareness is crucial, too.
Ahead, we've rounded up 17 mostly serious, sometimes funny signs to help you tell if you're actually ready to get married.

1. You Love Yourself

You can't be happy with someone else until you're 100 percent happy with yourself. Sure, you can ask for your partner's support when you're upset, but as marriage coach Lesli Doares says, "Being married is about joining two lives together, not giving up one. Being content in your own skin means you won't be looking to your partner to fill voids in your life."

2. You Start Seriously Relating to Love Songs You Once Called "Silly"

Oh, man. You used to make fun of those mushy-gushy ballads that described physical aching when a lover was away. But all of a sudden, bae takes a business trip and your chest is heavy, your insides are squirming, and you just cried at a gum commercial. 
3. You're Not Still Searching for a Better, Better Half

This feels like a no-brainer, but please tell us you've deleted the dating apps, and ceased all communication with the cutie at the dog park if you're considering "for better or for worse" with someone else.
4. You've Got More Than Your Significant Other on Your Side

Nobody knows you better than your friends and family, so if they're telling you this is the finish line—GREAT! But if they're bringing up red flags about you-know-who, it might be time to pump the brakes and address those concerns.
5. You Kinda Feel Like Superheroes Together

Whether it's tag-teaming a grocery list or assembling a particularly devilish piece of Ikea furniture, if there are moments when your dynamic duo could take on the world, this is a good sign. Peak coupledom is all about teamwork and creative problem-solving. If you're always ready to save the day together, then you can start thinking about save-the-dates.

6. You Have No Problem Apologizing

Everyone effs up at some point, so if you're taking on forever with someone, you must have the ability to look that partner in the face and say, "My bad." And it has to be sincere!

7. You Don't Threaten to Leave When Discussions Get Heated

If something in your kitchen catches on fire, the absolute worst thing to do would be running out of the house, right? If your romantic counterpart is avoiding difficult discussions or throwing out menacing ultimatums, that should sound some alarms. Marriage is about working as a team to put out the flames when they arise. There's a reason firefighters are sexy.

8. You Can Discuss Exes With Minimal Drama

Speaking of fiery conversation topics...We know ex-talk can bring up some icky memories, but it's important to confirm that the person you're with 1) is completely over any old flames and 2) learned from his/her previous relationships. Too many "crazy exes" might indicate the problem may actually lie with the accuser.

9. You Recognize Effort Is Mandatory

Everyone loves to say that true love is effortless. That's bull. Maybe the affection is easy at times and the wanting to work on your problems is natural, but the actual relationship work itself is just that—WORK. Make that distinction upfront, and be sure you and your partner don't have any delusions about "rainbows and butterflies."

10. You've Perfected the Maintenance Text

Now for some good news about the above-mentioned effort: It doesn't have to be exhausting all the time. An indication that you and your (maybe!) future fiancé understand the thoughtfulness required for spousehood is "the maintenance text." A maintenance text is not meant for information swapping. Rather, it just says, "Hi, this thing reminded me of you and I care enough about making you smile to let you know." The best ones involve inside jokes or hilarious GIFs.

11. You're Financially Stable(ish)

Oh, gross. We're talking about money. Alas, it's one of the top reasons couples report bickering with their partners. While you obviously don't have to be Bill Gates–rich to get married, you do have to be fiscally responsible as a pair, and that means being able to openly communicate about all your joint and personal #MoneyMoves.

 What To Do If Your Partner Is Bad With Money

12. You're Willing to Participate in Each Other's Hobbies

You never fancied yourself a fly fisher. But, if you went out and bought waders and a rod just because so-and-so loves steamed trout, you're in deep, friend—and we don't just mean in a cold river here.

13. You Don't Need Other People or Inanimate Objects to Have a Good Time

If you can't hang out alone sans Netflix or iPhones, then do you really have a connection beyond a joint appreciation for WiFi?

14. You Don't Set Tests for One Another

"Why didn't you text back within seven minutes?" "What if I take a mold of your thumbprint in your sleep and use it to unlock your iPhone? Will you have texted a super good-looking human who wasn't me in the past 240 threads?" Giving your partner "chances" that are actually booby traps reveals there's deep insecurity surrounding this relationship, and it's not ready for aisle talk yet. (Though, we do recommend regular talk ASAP.)

15. You're Still Discovering New Things About One Another

Periods of boredom and monotony are normal, but if you're still uncovering happy surprises about each other after years of being together, that's due to some conscious attempts at engagement on your part, and that's encouraging for the future.

16. You Start Putting Him/Her Down as Your Emergency Contact

Before mom!? Book the venue. You're ready.

17. Your Partner Relates to All of These Signs, Too

Marriage isn't a two-for-one deal; both of you have to feel these sappy feels while also committing to toughing out the crappy parts.

https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/dating-on-social-mediai

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Mean and antagonistic people are those who examine women as merely sex objects, according to a study. Openly antagonistic is that the strongest predictor for attitudes of sexual objectification, followed closely by disinhibition or being impulsive.

Emory University research conducted within the US, revealed that several personality traits related to psychopathy -- especially being openly antagonistic -- predict an inclination to seem at women as merely sex objects.

Psychopathy could even be a mental disturbance associated with a constellation of characteristics, like boldness, impulsivity, narcissism, cold-heartedness, disinhibition and meanness. “Understanding the personality traits associated with sexual objectification allows us to identify those in peril of getting this attitude and to potentially design an intervention for them,” said Thomas Costello, first author of the study. “This is critical because sexual objectification could even be a precursor to harassment and sexual violence,” Costello added. While the # MeToo movement has raised awareness of the continued problem of molestation and regulatory offence , much less is known about those likely to believe someone as little quite their sexual parts.

The new study published within the journal “Personality Disorders: Theory, Research and Treatment” could be the first to identify key personality correlates of interpersonal sexual objectification, in line with the authors. For this study, the researchers wanted to establish whether traits underlying psychopathy -- which is claimed to sexual aggression, harassment and violence -- could provide a framework for understanding and statistically predicting attitudes of sexual objectification among the general population.

The study used a self-reporting survey that included questions on attitudes, similarly as behaviors, regarding sexual objectification and measurements of psychopathy-related personality traits. The researchers collected data from 800 US community members drawn from Amazon Mechanical Turk, a web crowdsourcing platform. An analysis of the data showed that meanness, or being antagonistic towards others, was the strongest predictor for attitudes of sexual objectification, followed closely by disinhibition.

Cold-heartedness and boldness were also predictors, but the effect sizes were smaller. most of the those that have some personality traits associated with psychopathy don 't fulfil the factors for full-blown psychopathy, explained Scott Lilienfeld, senior author of the paper and an expert on personality disorders. “These so-called ‘dark’ personality traits occur on a continuum, like height and weight or sign ,” he explained. “Many people have a minimum of type of those traits to some extent, and other people won't have any of them to a high degree,” Lilienfeld said .

https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/mean-people-see-women-as-sex-objects.

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I have a guy that I have been dating for the past 5 years. We have a baby together, she is 5 years old now. Since then we have been planning to marry when we are both through with our education, but the problem is we are not in the same town. He is working in the west while I am in the north. He doesn't come home unless his boss sends him on errand. Late last year, he told me about a lady he dated and impregnated but he said she has terminated the pregnancy that I shouldn't worry about it. Next month will make it a year we saw, he is not out of the country, he says covid-19. I lcheated on him too (not intentional though), as body no be firewood, he discovered, I told him nothing but the truth since then he has been using it against me and there is no trust anymore. I was even telling him to come and do the needful so that we will be together he said no money, I still stay with my parents .

I am still schooling. Please how will I restore trust and love back to my relationship. Will he still marry me?


https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/please-i-need-your-advice-will-he-still-marry-me

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I will be 46 years this year and my marriage will be 5 years this year. I have been paying bills ( Nepa bills, house rent, putting food on the table, etc) since we got married in the spirit of a supportive wife. Although we are both civil servants with the salary of 44,000 and 55,000 respectively. Unknown to me, he has accrued huge debt before I met him despite the fact we did a lot low key wedding without reception (which was my idea, in my mind I don't want to stretch his financial capacity so that we can enjoy our after wedding). He keeps telling me things will get better even though I supported him going back to school which he will complete by God's grace this year. The Lord blessed us with a bouncing baby girl last year( she is 4months now ) unfortunately, I couldn't not lactate so I had to formula feed. Which I have been financing alone all with no effort from him. I have told him to please look for side hustle so as to relieve me of the burden but he said I should wait till he finishes his HND and he is been upgraded to Senior staff. Recently when we had misunderstanding, he told me whatever assistance I am rendering is for my sake, that I am not helping him. He said when he finally have money it is me that will enjoy, that whatever I do now is what I will reap. he is also not contributing to the welfare of our child

https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/how-can-i-deal-with-my-ingrate-husband.

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I got married to this man in UK 15 years ago and the man have not paid my bride price. I am 36 years old and he is 38. Could you believe the life people in Nigeria are living, is better than the life this man is living in UK? I don't have one single love for him again, I try to tell him that I don't love him but he wouldn't listen, he can't work away because he cannot take care of himself, he cannot account for any money that comes into his hand, I don't have joy whenever he is around me, I don't have any feelings for him, I wish he understands and just let me be. I feel I am in bondage. Please advice me


https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/i-need-your-advice-should-i-leave-him.

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In the words of the inimitable Kanye West: “One good girl is worth a thousandb****es.” Nearlysix years ago, I managed…,https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/5-ways-to-treat-your-woman-like-a-queen.

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I am a 42yrs old single mum with 3 children of 11, 9 and 7. I separated from my husband since 2018 and I have been…,https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/how-my-husband-abandoned-us.

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https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/why-are-women-more-attracted-to-tall-men