₦airaland Forum

Thanks to everyone who had shared minds and thoughts regarding my current predicament.

I read through all comments and I must say you all are amazing. I will have a conference meeting within myself and make decisions based on what will make life more easier than it was or has been for me in the past few days.

We learn to grow. I really appreciate this and God bless

Guys... I took time again tonight to call her that I won't be coming to pack her things back to house but I can afford sending her money for transportation. What she said to my face was "if I can't come, then I should leave it be"

My concern is the wellbeing of my one year old son she has with her....

This boy needs to be taken care of.. I do not want him to be exposed to another phase of life this early.

SeniorGee:
I see an opportunity for you do set all records straight in your house. When she left did her parents call you that your wife was with them?
Call your own people and inform them. Don't call anyone from her family again.
Just tell her if she and her family don't come to settle within a specified period you will get another wife.
Try to involve your own family too.

I did call the mother after two weeks she left, what she told me was I never reported to her, I was shocked and later explained what has been happening in our home over the phone.

Later that day in the evening, the mom called that the dad wants to see me which I didn't honour the requested.

PS: I am in Oyo State, my parent also lives in Oyo. Hers are in Akure but separated.

I didn't send her packing, even if I did on the contrary I think the safest place for her to head to is my parents or siblings who are living on their own.

After she left she expects that my own people call her to ask what happened.

slan87:
Did you sent her packing out of the house, if NO.
Let her find a way to bring back her belongings the way she did when she was packing it out.
But if you are the one who sent her packing then do the needful

I didn't! As a matter of fact I wasn't at home when she packed

Richy4:
If I was to be in your shoes, God knows that I will not go... If she knows how she managed to fit her luggage into a car while leaving, she should also try and fit it back while coming back...

This is just me being me...If that's just how every couple behaves, packing out once there is misunderstanding, how would one solve their issues...

But you can be a better man buddy and bring her stuffs back... See it as a sacrifice for reconciliation

God

ojun50:
Don't go let her bring her tins by her self, if her parents can allow her to stay that long without sending her back since all this while, oga you might see worst of her to come oh

I've used that against them. If they really meant well for her, the same day she came with her belongings, she should have been sent back.

JRichards:
Don't be quick to take her back. Go ad tell her kins-people all you dislike about the marriage in heir presence first and foremost. Prioritize your needs. She should be the one serving, not asking you to worship her

I've met kins-people. They're also saying I should come bring her belongings.

That I should act like a man and just over look her childish behaviour and manners.

I called one this evening that It doesn't sit well in me to come over to bring her belongings. What he said was he's not interested in this anymore and hanged the phone on me, I took time to call back and he didn't answer.


I had to call my woman and talk things out that I can only provide her with the money to get back home. She went silent and could not alter words afterwards.

We have a son together though. And I'm concern about my child.

He's just clocked one March 30th.

JRichards:
She just wants to be free. Doesn't want to work, but want to be free to do as she please and go around neighborhood. Is she an Ijebu lady ?

She's from kogi... Egbira Okenne

Richy4:
<< I don't want to know what transpired between the two of you.. but if you were the one that wanted her back into the house and she accepts to come back, logically, u should be the one to help her take her luggage back because u wanted her back...

<< If she was the one that left on her own accord and decide to come back at will, then...( I won't say what I will do ) but conveying her luggage back into the house is not part of it..

Hmmmm.


Both parents want us to resolve, I keep saying I didn't send her packing, when she feels dim she can come.

I'm not not comfortable with the part where I should be the one to go bring her luggages back to the house.

This is why I've come to ask if that's not foolishness.


If I do go, what could be the possible consequences.

JRichards:
You have legit points though. Make sure you state your concerns in the present of her kin before he returns

If you want to prove manly, you can act dismissive and tell her to find her way home same way she left. This way you retain your honour and dignity intact. It's also doable too. But state your needs and wants before allowing him her return oh otherwise, aluta continua

She doesn't want to back else I come pack her things, I told her I was going to pay the the transport fare, she still insist on me coming.

Not that I can't go and bring those things back to the house, but to me It feels like I went to beg her to come back.

Is there dignity with doing that?

JRichards:
How about talking about the issues in your marriage with a counselor rather than point out her flaws.

EXAMPLE. Panacea to her sitting down at home can be easily controlled with either getting her a shop or Dstv and Solar and a work engagement to keep her home

The funny thing is I gave her money about a ₦100k to start something with, gave the fund to sisters husband to keep.

I don't want to go deep with this money matter.


Still gave her some money to start selling foodstuffs at home, make subscription available every month still she won't stay in the house.

JRichards:
100% So. Yes

If you rely on advice here, you'll get it wrong.

She has already figured the part she got wrong in your issues so you don't need to overflog it or play the ego card by saying, you left yourself, return. She wants to be needed and as such, you're almost re-proposing to her. Hence you need to reach out, while she meets you mid way


Any other counsel about from this counsel here is to scatter your marriage patapata. The choice is yours. I have spoken

Hmmmmm.

I don't have issues with her coming back, where I have issues with is me been the one to come bring her belongings back to the house.

She's this nagging type, she someone who wants you to please her 100% even when she know you're not equal to fulfilling it.

She's someone who chooses other people apartment to hers, even when I've told her I don't like her sitting or doing anything in others people's home.

When I'm busy with work on my phone, that's when she wants to have a conversation.


She's someone who will not do anything for you until when she pleases.

There's alot of things she's doing which I talked out with her but she's not ready to heed.

Hello There ��
I'd like you guys to help me on this... My wife packed her belongings from the house exactly a month today. Now she wants me to come bring her belongings back to the house from her parents.

As a man, is this right?

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