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Literature / I Love You "Too" by Penshalom(f): 8:47am On Jul 12, 2023 |
I picked up my phone once again to call, this would be the 10th time, yes, I counted. I know it’s too much but I’m too nervous to stop calling. I just needed to hear the truth from him directly. The picture I stumbled on on Instagram, could it be real? I shook my head in denial. “Ko possible” I whispered to myself. He didn’t pick up again but with shaky hands, I dialled his number again and this time he picked up the call. “Hello,” He said into the phone. My heart jumped. “Gbenga” I called out his name. “What’s up?” He replied in a bored tone. I ignored it. “I’m alright”. I said. “That’s good. Sorry I missed your calls I was in a meeting on Zoom”. “Oh”. I played with my fingers and we were quiet for a while. “What’s up Moji, why did you call? Hope all is well?” “I think so,” I whispered audibly. “So, I was on Instagram today when I stumbled on a picture,” I said. “Okay… What picture?” “That’s the funny and crazy thing. It looked like a pre-wedding photo shoot and the guy in the picture looked so much like you. I read the comments and I saw people were congratulating the couple and you were tagged in some comments. Gbenga, I’m a little confused.” He was quiet for a while and my eyes brimmed with tears dreading the obvious truth. “I’m sorry Moji that I did not tell you and you had to find out that way.” A tear dropped. “Find what out?” I croaked. “Me getting married. I should have told you, we are close friends”. Friends? Did he just call us friends? ” Friends? Gbenga, we are friends?” “Yes now”. ” Gbenga, so we’ve been friends all this while. Wow” ” I don’t understand you Moji”. “How could you? Gbenga, how could you?” “Wait, what did I do? Is this because I didn’t tell you about my wedding? I already apologized. I can explain.” “Will you shut it!!! So, all this while, the times you took me out, the days you came to visit, the calls, meeting your parents, being into my matter, giving me gifts. They were just a show of friendship?” I shouted. I felt hot inside. “You have been planning a wedding with another lady while doing all those with me. You are quite the busy guy, aren’t you?” “But Moji I don’t understand, if we were not friends then what were we? Is there anything wrong with being friendly with a friend? Besides, I don’t remember asking you out or anything.” I opened my mouth in shock. This is a rude shock. ” Congratulations Gbenga. I wish you the best” I hung up the call. I dropped the phone on the table and mulled over what he said. Truthfully, he never asked me out, that justified him. I was just in over my head. I was in cloud 9 but I was alone there. All my dreams about us shattered in my eyes. The time I wasted with him, how will I recover it? I cried silently regretting deeply that I never defined the relationship. Penshalom PS: I will love to see your comments🥰. Also, feel free to share. Thank you.
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Literature / Re: Voices by Penshalom(f): 9:15am On Apr 25, 2022 |
Rockyrascal:Thank you� |
Literature / Voices by Penshalom(f): 8:45pm On Apr 24, 2022 |
I looked at my phone again for the umpteenth time since I got the message last night and now it's morning and I've still not decided. He has called me several times today and I did not pick his calls because I had not decided. I'm in a dilemma, one that I would have never imagined I will be in. "Can we meet up again tomorrow evening?" I checked the message again. The last time we met, he treated me like a queen. He bought me a lot of things and filled up my account with juicy funds. "Matured men take care of women better". I have heard that a million times and yes they sure do, but this is different. He is married! My phone rang again and I knew it was him even before I checked. I picked up this time. "Laura" I heard his deep voice call my name. It was music to my ears. "Hello" I managed to say. "I've not heard from you. Please let's meet up. I want to take care of you. Let me be your lover, let me cure your loneliness Laura." "You are married" I said emphatically. "So? It is not a big deal. It is you I want. I will take care of the marriage thing once you say yes to me. Please let's meet up." Then, I heard a strange voice "Aren't you tired of being alone? You are getting old. You will be 30 on your next birthday." I breathed out. "Okay. Where should we meet up?" He gave me the details. "Thank you Laura. You won't regret this, love" Dress, check. Make-up, double check. Hair, check. He was already there even before I got there and he stood up as soon as he saw me. "Laura, you look beautiful as always." He gave me a hug and I caught a whiff of his cologne. He smelled nice. He pulled out my chair and I sat down. He's such a gentleman. "I'm so glad you came Laura." He touched my hands briefly across the table. I smiled. "What do you want to eat?" We ordered for our meal and we chatted in between. "I have a room in a nearby hotel, we can go and rest there. You know, just a change of scenery" "I don't think I can do that" "No pressure Laura. We will sleep in different rooms..." He broke off, his eyes widened for a moment and then he grinned. I looked back to see what or who he was grinning at. It was a pretty lady with a young boy, about the age of three. He stood up. The boy ran to him. "Daddy" He said as he hugged him. If the boy called him Daddy then the lady must be his wife. My heart started beating fast as our eyes met. I stood up quickly. "Good evening ma" I stammered. "Good evening" She smiled. "Babe what are you doing here?" He asked his wife. "David wanted snacks". "Yes Daddy I want meat pie" The boy spoke up. "Okay my boy." He touched his cheek playfully. "Babe, meet Laura, a prospective business partner" He introduced me to his wife. I managed to smile. She shook my hands briefly. "Pleased to meet to you". "Is this what you really want Laura, you want to be a secret? Are you that desperate?" The gentle voice that I had been ignoring whispered to me. Tears filled my eyes. I picked up my purse. "Sorry I have to go. Have a good evening." I didn't wait for a reply, I more or less ran out of the place. I got a taxi immediately and I let the tears fall. I blocked his number. "I'm sorry Lord" I whispered over and over again. I can't believe I stooped so low. I can't believe I almost became someone's side chic. "Your worth is more than that" The gentle voice whispered again. Yes, my worth is more than that. Penshalom 1 Like 1 Share |
Religion / Re: Repeated Victories. by Penshalom(f): 8:13am On Feb 06, 2022 |
This is encouraging for me. Blessed sir |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 8:04pm On May 16, 2020 |
Episode 10 BRO. ALFRED KEPT on tormenting me and I kept saying no but it seems he did not get my message. "I'm convinced you are the one for me and we have a lot to accomplish for God together" He kept saying but I turned deaf ears, I did not even bother praying about him but he was persistent. "Can we talk later sir? I'm meeting up with someone" I said politely to Bro. Alfred. "OK then. I will talk to you later. Take care of yourself". He hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. "Hmm" Dorcas cleared her throat. "Hmm" I replied her. She smiled and sipped her juice. "It's good to see you Esther." "Same here" Dorcas came home for a little while from her place of service and since she's living in the same town the school is located in we decided to meet up but outside campus. "How is service now?" I asked her. "I can't wait to finish jare but the place is peaceful and I met great people so I'm happy" "That's great" "Yeah" Dorcas drank from her juice again. "So, who was on the phone earlier?" Dorcas asked. "Ah, I've been waiting for you to ask." "Whatever, tell me, who was on the phone?" "Bro. Alfred" Dorcas tried to figure out who it was for some seconds before her eyes lit up "The Bro. Alfred?" "Yeah" I said casually. "Oh my God. Tell me, what's happening?" "Well, he told me God is leading him to me and so on and so forth" Dorcas squealed. "Wow" "Stop shouting" I said softly looking around. "Oh sorry sorry" Dorcas lowered her voice but she was still excited, her eyes were dancing in her eyes. "So have you prayed about it?" I snorted. "I already told him I'm not interested" I said dismissively. "What?! God said he's not the one?" "I didn't even bother to pray about it.". "But why?" Dorcas asked sadly. "You know why" "I don't Esther." I looked away. "All of them are the same" I said finally. "All of who?" Dorcas asked. I sighed, annoyed at her questions. "All the so called brothers" Dorcas was quiet, looking at her plate of rice. "Is this about Bro. Tayo?" I shrugged. "Esther, what happened between you and Tayo happened almost two years ago." "So?" "So, you should have gotten over it" "I have" "No, you have not" Dorcas said firmly. "You have not" "Well, Tayo was the General Secretary, if he could do what he did, what makes this one different?" I tried to defend myself. "So because someone broke your heart, everyone is now a heartbreaker? Because a so called believer betrayed you, every Christian brother is betrayal?" "You don't understand. He toyed with my feelings. I really liked him Dorcas" "Yes, two years ago. Tayo has graduated, he has moved on with his life and you are letting him hold your life back. You are letting your past affect your present. You are never going to give anyone a chance again because someone hurt you?" I raised my head up to stop tears from falling. Dorcas held my hand. "You need to let go Esther." Tears fell from eyes. "I've been trying to but the memories are still fresh in my head. I can't forget the fact that he used me and I fell for it. I was such a fool." Dorcas squeezed my hand. "Forgive yourself. Heal from your wound. You are no longer a "fool" Esther, you have been redeemed, you are now a child for God, your past is over, you have a new life in Christ." I sobbed quietly. "I don't know, I don't know how" "He said "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest". Cast all your care upon Him Esther because He truly cares for you" Dorcas said softly. "Submit it all at the feet of Christ" Thank God we sat at the far back of the eatery, I would have made the trending news on social media. I told God my fears, I told Him my pain, I told Him my hurt, I submitted it all at His feet, and I felt the burden lifted. "YOU ARE GOING to tell him today right?" "Yes. I've told you that a number of times Dorcas" I spoke into the phone "but I'm a so nervous." "It's part of the thrill. You will do great." I hung up and entered the fellowship, the fellowship was holding a send forth programme for us but in form of a dinner service. Bro. Alfred and my eyes met a couple of times and every time it did, I felt more nervous but I patiently waited till after the service. "Can I speak with you for a moment?" I told him and walked on without waiting for his reply but I knew he was coming behind me. I stopped at a private place but we could still see what was going on in the fellowship. "Hope you are good?" Bro. Alfred asked "I am and you?" "Yes I'm good" We stood awkwardly. "I have to tell you something" I said. "Oh OK." Bro. Alfred said gulping. "Firstly, I'm sorry for making you wait this long. I had some issues to settle" "No problem. Take your time." Bro. Alfred bit his lips. "Well, I prayed about you and God is telling me we can do this together." Bro. Alfred looked up, shock evident in his eyes. "You are willing to?" "I'm ready to" He smiled so wide I thought his mouth would tear. "Thank you so much" He said again and again." "Thank you for being patient for me" I told him sincerely. "I have to go now. Good night Bro Alfred and sleep well" "Let me walk you". "Don't worry. I'm sure your presence is needed in the church. I will call you" I waved at him before I left. This is the beginning of a new thing in my life which I'm sure would be a wonderful journey. The End Thank you for reading, kindly share with others. Penshalom 2 Likes 1 Share |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 11:11pm On May 14, 2020 |
enirock: Thank you too. May God change our hearts and turn it back to Him. |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 11:09pm On May 14, 2020 |
oluwatosin070:Thank you |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 11:09pm On May 14, 2020 |
Episode 9 I DECIDED TO live my life for God; I got lost in His work by joining the choir both at church and in my fellowship back in school. My parents were surprised at my sudden closeness to God. "You go to church often lately, hope no problem?" My Mom asked me. I laughed. "No problem Mom. It is better to get closer to God than to be one leg in and out. In appreciating the love He showed me, I need to serve Him." "Hmm... I see" They didn't stop me in any way or try to discourage me but my parents did not say anything either until one day, something changed. I just got back home from church and it's a Sunday. I had been home for a while and I did not see Mom, I knew she was home. "Dad… is Mom OK?" "I don't know dear. She's been acting weird since we got back from church. I tried talking to her, she told me she needed some time alone." My Dad looked towards the stairs worried. "Don't worry Dad. Let me go talk to her." I went upstairs, I knocked the door and tried opening it, fortunately, it was not locked. She was seated in front of the mirror. "Mom, are you OK?" She turned to look at me "Esther" She sighed. I rushed towards her, knelt before her and held her hand. "What's wrong?" "My baby" She touched my head, her eyes were filled with tears. "What happened?" "You sang beautifully today" She started. "You know this is the first time I actually concentrated on a ministration from the choir. I listened to the lyrics and they sank in. When you were singing, I saw people crying; they were in the spirit." "I cried too you know. I can't believe this is what my non challant attitude towards the God stopped you from doing." I held her hands tighter. "I've just been sitting here regretting those times." "So, what are you going to do?" I asked her. "I'm going to get serious with God. I want to change." I smiled. "Wow" "Do you want to give your life to Christ Mom?" "Yes please. I want to" I was so happy, because that day a wind of change blew in my home. EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, I was already in my final year. Dorcas was a year ahead of me, so she has graduated; I cried that day because she was my true friend. I was busy with my project and getting ready for my final exams but I did not allow it to affect my service in the fellowship. Everything was going on well until the day the president of my fellowship asked me to wait behind because he had something to tell me. "Hi sir" I greeted him with respect. "Hi, Sis Esther. Hope you are good?" He asked me. "Yes I am. Thank you." "OK" He rubbed his hands together looking around. "You said you have a message for me?" I asked him breaking the silence. "Oh, yeah." He scratched his head and chuckled nervously. "Um, the thing is Sister Esther... he became a stutter. Actually… the thing is God is leading me to you" "Leading you, how?" "I mean, God is telling me you are the woman for me" He said quickly. I was shocked. I could not say anything. The memories of Tayo flashed before my eyes and I felt some emotions rise up within me. I picked my bag and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm not interested" I told him and walked away. Penshalom P. S: I'm so sorry I posted this late. Thank you for being patient with me. 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 7:42pm On May 07, 2020 |
Episode 8 WHEN WE GOT there, he suggested we move to more private place but I insisted on staying where we were, at least people can see us. "You look beautiful today" "Thank you" I replied sharply. "Come on, why are you frowning? Smile for me dear" He tried to touch my jaw but I gave him a "If you dare" look and he got the message. He cleared his throat. "I've been noticing you and Dorcas lately, are you both friends now?" "Tayo, go straight to the point. Why did you ask us to talk?" "Uhm.. I wanted to apologize for the other time. She caught me unaware" I was shocked at what he said. "You are apologizing because she caught you unawares?" "Yes." "Wow" I breathed out. "Look, I know you like me and I enjoy your company too. We can start this since we feel so much for each other, who knows something great can come out of this." "I'm not getting you. You want us to start "something" while you are in another "something"?" "Uhm, something like that" "Who made you the General Secretary of the fellowship?" "Excuse me?" He frowned. "That's none of my business anyway." I looked at him straight in the eye. "Tayo, I'm not interested in starting "something" with you or anything whatsoever. The fact that you can suggest this kind of thing to me…you must really think I'm a fool." "What? No. I didn't say that…" I raised my hands up to stop him. "Enough! I don't want to hear anything. I'm not interested in you, at least not anymore. And I really pity the lady you are with cos she seems like a nice girl." "What do you mean?" He looked angry now. I was about to reply when I saw Dorcas. "I'm done with the meeting" She said. "OK I will join you soon." I told her. "OK." She looked at Tayo. "Bro. T" She said in greeting. "Sister Dorcas" Tayo said too. The atmosphere between them was tense, Dorcas smiled at him nevertheless before turning back to me. "I will be waiting in the church" She looked at Tayo again before she left. "Oh I see. She talked you to this. She made you turn your back at me" Tayo accused me. "No. She opened my eyes to see what was before me and now I think I can see the real you." "I hope you go back to who you were in Christ Tayo and stop this life you are living" I left him standing there and called to Dorcas. She came along with my bag and we walked home. Penshalom |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 11:58pm On May 05, 2020 |
Episode 7 I BREATHED IN and out, I think I've done this more than thrice ever since I got up. I'm not nervous so to say, but I just don't know how I would act if I see him in church today. Yes, I decided not to leave the fellowship. Someone knocked on my door. "Come in" I said a little loudly. Dorcas came in with smiles. "My oh my!" you are looking muah" She said, giving me a look over. "Thanks" I said shakily. "But I don't love that look on your face. You need to show you are happy. Let him know he's got nothing on you." "Hmm" "He should be the one scared and not you dear." "OK OK" "Now to your shoes" Dorcas looked at my shoe collection thoughtfully. "I think you should wear this red pumps. You need something that will make you walk confidently." She gave me the red heels, I wore it. Dorcas gave me a once over before giving me double thumbs up. "Now we can go" Dorcas said. I checked the time. "Wow! we are late." I said. "And if we don't go now, we will miss the perfect timing" "When is the perfect timing?" I asked "The Praise and worship section, when heads will turn" "Dorcas, are we going to church to worship God or for another thing?" "Of course to worship God. I just want you to show up confidently. He needs to know you are OK without him". Dorcas continued. "OK, we are going to worship God. Sorry I've been a little vengeful" "It's OK. Thank you for being there for me." I told her sincerely. "You are welcome" Dorcas and I left for church. On the way to church, I felt a little nervous. WE ACTUALLY GOT to church when the praise section started. Dorcas went inside ahead of me and I followed her feeling a bit self conscious. When I found a seat, I looked up and the eyes of Tayo and I met. He was taken aback and disbelief flashed in his eyes. "Did he actually think I was going to leave the church for him?" I thought to myself. I grew more confident and looked away from him. I fully concentrated on the praises. I danced my heart out and I felt joy within me. I completely forgot about Tayo but I saw him gape occasionally. It was during the message that I realized I was seated with Funke, Tayo's fiance. My heart skipped a beat as what happened or almost happened that day flooded my memory. "Hello" She flashed me a smile. "Hi" I smiled back. I turned away from her and forced my mind back to the service. "I refuse to get sucked back into this guilt." I whispered to myself. I listened to the message and coincidentally the President talked on "God's love". I fell in love with God more and I gave my heart to Him completely that day. "Thank for your love Jesus" I kept saying in my heart. AFTER THE SERVICE, I was waiting at the back for Dorcas who has a meeting with her group members. I was on my phone when I saw the shadow. A familiar shadow. I looked up and yes, it's Tayo. "Hi, Sister Esther." Tayo flashed his smile, the one that used to melt my heart, but now it's making my heart boil. "Hi" I said and went back to my chat. "Can I speak with you? Over there?" He pointed to the far back of the fellowship. People were around me, obviously they heard him and it would be weird to say no. "Yeah sure" I stood up and led the way and Tayo walked closely behind me. I wonder what he has to say. Penshalom 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 8:09pm On Apr 20, 2020 |
Episode 6 I DID NOT go to my hostel. I found myself in front of Dorcas' room. I knocked the door, she found me crying when she opened it. She pulled me inside. Dorcas held me and patted me occasionally; I couldn't help crying buckets. "He played me." I said amidst tears. I blew my nose into the handkerchief in my hand. "He played me" I said again. "Sorry dear" Dorcas said. "I've been so naive and stupid." I said. "No, you were not. Don't beat yourself up over this." "He's engaged." "Who is engaged?" "Tayo, he has a fiancée" "Are you kidding?" Dorcas looked shocked. "I thought he was in love with me. He knew I liked him, he took advantage of that. He only wanted to use me." "I always knew he is a sly. He did the same thing to a lady. She eventually left the fellowship, but I did not know that he's in a relationship." "But Dorcas, he is the General Secretary" "I don't understand" Dorcas said. "I mean, he holds a position in church. I trusted him because of that. He's a Christian." "Oh, now I get you. Position does not define Christianity, dear". "It doesn't?" "No, it does not. Not everyone who claims they are Christians, are truly born again. You don't judge by the positions people hold in church, but by the fruits they produce. The Bible says "By their fruits you shall know them..." Not by the words of their mouths or what they do". My mind flashed back to last time I went home. I remembered the Pastor's message. I remembered the attributes he mentioned, how he said Christians are like Christ. "Tayo being a general secretary in the fellowship is not an assurance of his salvation. Being born in a Christian home is not an assurance of one's salvation." "Well, that means I'm actually not a Christian." "I don't get you" "Actually, I'm born in a Christian home, but I've never really come to acknowledge Jesus." "Well, will you want to do that now?" I nodded my head. Dorcas prayed with me and that day I felt peace and joy in my heart. "You know God loves you, Esther" "Why did you say that?" "He saved you from Tayo, twice. If not for God, imagine the kind of pain you will be feeling right now". "Wow! that's true. I never saw it that way." "So, you have reasons to thank God." I smiled. "So, what are you going to do? Are you also leaving the fellowship?" I sighed. "Honestly, Dorcas, I don't know." Penshalom PS: This is not the end. Part 2 is coming up soon. Thanks for reading up to this point. God bless you. Kindly share with others. Till next time. 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 4:35pm On Apr 17, 2020 |
Episode 5 I AVOIDED DORCAS at all cost. She tried talking to me both at fellowship and at home, but I made up many different excuses to avoid talking to her, but still she never got the hint. She was so clingy. I didn't want her to get in the way of Tayo and I. The thought of Tayo brought a smile on my face and in my heart. Although, we are not in a relationship but it seems like it. He has not clearly stated what he wanted though, but he's more like my boyfriend now. Maybe we don't really need the labels. Maybe things already worked out the way we wanted it to be. I'm on my way to Tayo's house. He told me to come. I checked myself in the mirror a lot more than I can count. I KNOCKED THE door and waited. Tayo opened and welcomed me with a grin. "Come in" Tayo said and locked the door after me. I looked around the room, everything was neatly arranged. "Won't you give me a hug?" Tayo said. I moved closer and hugged him and he hugged me deep. "You smell nice" He whispered...I felt his lips on my ear. I pulled away from him and sat on a chair. He went to the kitchen and brought out food. He made fried rice and chicken with orange juice. It was really delicious. "I didn't know you can cook". "There are so many things about me that you don't know." He continued "But I want you to get to know me better". "Same here" I told him. We ate together and chatted. He brought out his album and he told me to come sit with him on the bed. I went over and sat down. He gave me the album and I stared checking the pictures laughing occasionally. Tayo was seated close to me playing with my hair. His cologne feeling my senses. I don't know how it happened but minutes later I was lying on the bed and Tayo was hovering over me. "Are we supposed to be doing this?" I kept thinking but I did not have enough will to get up. Tayo moved closer, his lips not far from mine. I anticipated it too but just like before we got interrupted, but this time by a knock. "Tayo" A female voice called out and knocked again. Tayo's eyes went round and fear was written over him. He got up as fast as lightning and I did too. I adjusted my clothes and sat on the chair. Tayo opened the door and a lady walked in. "Good evening Sister" She said. "Good evening" I stuttered. She sat on his bed. "Funke meet Sister Esther " She smiled at me. "Sister Esther meet Funke, my fiancee" My heart stopped. I got up and picked my bag. "It was nice meeting you" I quickly said and rushed out. "She is a new comer in church, Pastor told me to talk with her. She's not really serious with spiritual things". I heard Tayo say as I stood by the door. Tears fell from my eyes. Tayo played me, big time. Penshalom 1 Like 1 Share |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 5:32pm On Apr 15, 2020 |
Creeza: Thanks dear 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 5:32pm On Apr 15, 2020 |
Episode 4 We both went quiet. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. My heart was beating fast in my chest and I felt noises in my ear. My mouth still hung open. "WOW!" was all I could say when I eventually got a hold of myself. "Yeah" She said coolly. "Why?" I finally asked. "I'm sorry for being nosy. But I've been noticing you and him for a while now." "Oh. I see" I wiped my hand on my leg nervously. I already broke out in a sweat although the weather is cold. "He was removing something from my face" I quickly said. "We both know that's a lie Sister Esther" Sister Dorcas said firmly. I slammed my mouth shut and gulped. "I just want you to be careful with him. He's not who you think he is. Don't be so lost in your feelings that you lose your sanity as well." She held my hand. "Please Esther, be careful." I took in deep breaths and then I nodded. "I will. Thank you" I told her. "Alright. Well, I have to go now." She got up and I did too. We said our goodbyes after she gave me a hug. When I came back in, my phone was ringing and Tayo's name flashed on the screen. I picked up. "Hello Bro. Tayo" I said into the phone. "Come on I told you to stop calling me that. We are close now, aren't we?" "Yeah I guess." "So call me by my name" He said. "Tayo" I said after a few seconds. "Wow. My name sounds really nice from your voice". I blushed. "So how have you been?" He asked and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm OK but something happened." "What's that?" "Sister Dorcas just left here" I said. "What? Why?" "She told me she knew what we were about to do that night and she intentionally flashed the light on us. And she told me to be careful with you." Tayo was quiet for a while. "Hello" I checked the phone to see if the call had been disconnected but it's not. "I'm still here." "OK" I said. "I don't know what I've done to that lady. I don't know why she is stalking me. She's out to get me." "Please don't give her your time of the day the next time she wants to talk to you. She's trying to make you stay away from me." He continued. "But why will she want that?" I asked "Jealousy maybe? I think she's obsessed with me" Tayo said with a sigh. "She's a crazy lady. Please stay away from her." Tayo pleaded. "Okay. I will" "Alright. I hope you enjoyed our date today?" "It was a date?" "Of course, I dressed fine, you dressed fine, we ate and we had a nice time. So yes it was a date." "Okay Tayo" "Alright darling. Sleep well and dream of me." He said before he hung up and sure enough I dreamt of Tayo, I saw the two of us together in a garden of roses. Penshalom 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 6:14pm On Apr 12, 2020 |
Episode 3 "I'M SORRY FOR last night" Tayo said as soon as I sat down. He asked us to meet at a restaurant outside of school. "I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry" Tayo said again looking regretful. "It's OK. I understand." I said smiling. "Really?" "Yes" He flashed me his award winning smile. "I'm so relieved." "Why did you have to lie tho?" "She caught us at a compromising position and you know my position in church so I had to do it. Also, that lady is a blabber mouth." "Really?" "Yeah, she does not really like me. I didn't want her to start spreading rumors about me." "She seemed nice" "She's not, she's just trying to be friendly so she can get information from you. You need to be careful with her." "Hmm. Okay." Tayo held my hand briefly. "Thank you for believing me" I smiled at him. I decided to clear the doubts I had. He did what he had to do. " Order for anything you want dear. Bills on me" He winked at me. "Alright. Thank you." I ordered for my food and he did too. I had a really good day. I MET SIS. Dorcas on my way home. Our hostels are close to each other. "Good afternoon dear" "Good afternoon." I replied her pleasantly. "You are looking beautiful. I love your gown" "Thank you" "I'm happy I met you, can I speak to you?" I cocked my head "For what?" "Nothing big. Just wanted to have a few words with you" "OK. Let's talk inside". We entered my room. I offered her something to drink but she declined. "So, what is it you want to talk about? I asked sitting on my bed and I placed a pillow on my laps. "The other night after the fellowship, you know when I saw you and Bro. Tayo?" "Yes?" I said calmly but deep inside me, I was not calm. "Well I intentionally flashed the light at you both". Sis. Dorcas revealed. Penshalom 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Mirage by Penshalom(f): 5:40pm On Apr 11, 2020 |
Episode 2 I FORGOT ALL about the whole "Christian" thing when I got to school but I go to church more often now than before. So on this fateful day after a Bible study, on my way home, someone caught up with me. "Hi, you are Sister Esther right?" I recognize the voice. It's Tayo, our General Secretary. "Hi" I replied shyly. "I'm Tayo" He said with his hand out for a shake. I shook his hands "Yes I know. You are the Gen Sec" He grinned and my heart skipped a bit. "You've been coming to fellowship a lot lately" He said as we walked on. "Yes" I replied him. "Has he been noticing me all this while?" I thought to myself. "Well, I hope you've been getting blessed in all the services" "Yes I have. Thank you." "You are welcome." He said with a smile. "Can I have your number? Just for follow up" He said after a while. "Sure" He took out his phone and I punched in my number. "Thank you." He put his phone back in his back pocket. "No problem" He walked me to my hostel and he didn't leave until I entered my room. My heart was beating fast all through. I've always had a crush on him but he's the General Secretary so I always admired him from afar but I guess fate had other plans for me. I was so excited, I could hardly contain it. That night, he texted me "Good night". I smiled into my dream land. I BECAME REGULAR in the fellowship, if I missed any then it means I was really fixed. Tayo was at every service and he mounted the altar at every one of them. He was always shining like a star. He walked me home at the end of every fellowship and he called me every night before I go to bed. "How were lectures today?" Tayo asked me on our way back home. It's one of those fellowship nights. "Boring." I told him squeezing my face. "Ehya. You came a bit late." "Yeah, we had a test." "But honestly I could not wait to finish so I could come for fellowship". I said again. "Really?" "Yes" "Hmm. Why?" Tayo stopped walking and looked at me directly. "Why what?" "Why were you eager to come for fellowship?" I looked down, shyly. "You could not wait to see me right?" Tayo moved closer. "You enjoy our walks at night and our talks just like I do" Tayo said huskily. He moved closer and his face was dangerously close to mine. My heart was beating really fast. He looked into my eyes before staring at my lips and then his face moved closer and closer and close to mine but the kiss never came because someone flashed a light to us. I quickly jumped back. "Ah sorry o" I looked at the person, it's a sister from the fellowship. "Sis. Dorcas, how are you?" "Ah, Bro T. I'm fine. Good evening sister" "Good evening" I mumbled, I was so embarrassed. "She had something on her face" Tayo said after an awkward silence. "Oh I see. Have you removed it?" "What?" Tayo said. "The thing on her face" Sister Dorcas told him gesturing to my face. "Oh. Yeah, it's gone" Tayo smiled. "Hmm" "So good night ladies. God bless you" Tayo said and walked away, really fast. "My hostel is close to yours. Let's go" Sister Dorcas smiled at me and I forced a smile. On the way, I kept thinking of Tayo's lies. Are Christians supposed to do that? Penshalom 1 Like |
Literature / Mirage by Penshalom(f): 5:39pm On Apr 11, 2020 |
Episode 1 Everyone is expected to have the "I'm in the spirit" look especially on a Sunday. Well, not for my family. Sundays are just like every other day, except for the fact that it's a day we get to showcase of best attires. We may not be the "spirit filled" type, but we are well known for this. I looked at where the Pastor was seated, with his eyes closed, he was slowly shaking his head to the choir's rendition, well...that's expected of him. Everyone was so into the song. "Esther" he called me. I looked at him, David, my brother. "What?" I whispered. He gestured to his phone. He already opened his Snapchat and he wanted us to take a selfie. I smiled at the camera, we took about three. "Send them to me" I whispered before I looked away. Few seconds later, I felt my phone vibrate. I opened my phone and saw David already sent the pictures. I uploaded them on my status and added the caption of "Happy Sunday" to the one I loved the most out of the pictures before I put my phone to sleep. The choir was still singing and some people were already on their feet with their eyes closed. I looked towards where my Mom was seated, and as expected she has a bored look and my Dad is stroking his beards. My attention went back to the choir as they finished rendering their ministration. I joined others in clapping for the choir and the Pastor mounted the pulpit. Everywhere was silent except for the occasional "Amen" when necessary. "If you are happy to be in God's presence. Shout Hallelujah" "Hallelujah" We all shouted. "Our topic today is "Christians". He talked about how the name "Christian" was given to the disciples of Jesus and why. "A Christian is someone who is like Christ" That sentence got my attention. "Christ is patient, kind, compassionate. He went about doing good…" He went on and on. "With all these attributes of Christ can you truly say you are a Christian?" The question also got me thinking. I looked at my family, we attend services, Sunday services, we pay tithes and offerings regularly but the Pastor never mentioned all these as one of the attributes of Christ. "Can you truly say you are born again?" I felt like the Pastor was talking to me. I felt alone, I felt like I was the only one in the church. "Are you truly a Christian?" "Yes.I am!" I said firmly but deep down I had really big doubts. "THE SERVICE WAS a bit long" My Mom said as we entered our house. "I agree" My Dad said with a yawn. "Mom" I called her. "Yes?" "Are we Christians?" My Mom gave me a confused look. "Of course we are. Why did you ask such a ridiculous question?" "The message of the Pastor today just brought questions to my mind. I just keep wondering if we are truly children of God" "Then are we children of the devil?" My Dad said. "Yes we are Christians." He said again. "I think Esther is hungry" David said. I gave a him a look and he stuck out his tongue. He's such a baby. "But..." I tried to say. My Dad interrupted me "You are going back to school tomorrow, you should be packing your things." "I'll go and make lunch" My Mom said standing up and went to the kitchen. I went up to my room to get ready for school. Well, I guess we are Christians. Penshalom 1 Like
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 9:38pm On Apr 24, 2019 |
Episode 11 I COULD NOT stay in school, I left for home immediately crying silently on the way. When I entered the living room, the whole scene played in my mind. I behaved like a wanton woman. I remember the way I jumped on Jacob when we got inside attacking him with my lips, touching him all over. My chest tightened as the memories flooded back, I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. I hid in the corner of my room and screamed out the cry I've been hiding as I begged God for mercy. My phone rang a few times but I did not pay any attention to it. About an hour later, I heard a knock, followed by another and another. "Honey, are you okay?" My Dad said trying to open the door. I tried to calm myself down, I didn't want him to know I had been crying, I don't want him to know what happened, my parents will be disappointed. "I'm fine Dad. I'm just down with a little fever" I said loud enough for him to hear, stifling the sobs. "Are you sure?" "Yes Dad" "Okay, do you need anything?" "No Dad, I just need a little rest." "Okay" It took a minute before I heard his footsteps leaving. I fell back to the bed hiding my face in the pillow and began another round of tears. The following day, I actually got down with fever so I escaped going to school for a few days. I SWIFTLY AVOIDED Jacob, choir practice, Pastor and everything related to God because I felt unworthy, to even attend church programmes became an issue for me but I had no choice, I cooked up lies to cover up my avoidance in choir practice but no lie can cover up for me not attending services. The day I got the biggest shock of my life was when I saw Jacob get up the stage to sing. I had to rub my face to make sure I saw well. When he opened his mouth and sang.. "Bless the Lord oh my soul Oh oh oh my soul.. " Even I felt a change in the atmosphere when he sang, it was so intense. I looked around and saw most people were actually worshipping God in truth and in spirit. I noticed Jacob had changed, he started attending church services more and he concentrated more in church but I never knew he could be used by God that way. This brought fresh tears to my eyes, I reminisced back to when I used to worship God like this. This time I realised that the word of God really is true, the first can actually be the last. I LOST CONNECTION with God, I felt like a sheep without shepherd, I felt really empty, like there is a big vacuum that needed to be urgently filled but no matter how I tried I didn't know the way back home. I was sad everyday, I was just alive but I had no life, nothing impressed me, nothing moved me. My parents became really worried but I could not bring myself to tell them, I just kept telling them "It is well". I got so mad at Jacob seeing him on stage doing what I used to do but deep down I knew I shared part of the blame. When Jacob had just finished his powerful ministration and the service continued I felt a leading to go to him that he should pray for me. Believe me, I hesitated but the leading was strong so I summoned up courage, swallowed my pride and walked up to Jacob after the service. I would do anything to get back my connection with God. "Hi Jake" I waved shyly, he was with Grace. "Naomi" Jacob whispered, shock evident in his eyes. Grace excused us and it was just me and Jacob, talk about awkward moments. Jacob was looking everywhere but me before he eventually took me to the far end of the church. Jacob sincerely apologised to me and I accepted it, after all I am the careless one. I told Jacob why I came to him, I cried and he shed a few tears too. Jacob led me back to God that day and he told me what I should do, I have to tell the Pastor or the choir leader which I agreed. I got home that day and called my parents, I told them everything. My parents were both disappointed especially my Dad. "I'm sorry I broke your faith in me" I said to them both. I left both of them in the living room just to give them space to think. Later in the night, they came around and hugged me. I felt tears trickle down my back but I told them. From that day on, my life started brightening up again. So, today, I'm with my Pastor with my Dad, confessing my sin. "Despite the fact that I'm disappointed in you Naomi, I'm happy you found your way back to God. Many fell into sin and sunk deeper into it but you took charge of your life again. I'm glad" Pastor said. "Nevertheless, rules are rules. You will be suspended from the choir." I smiled weakly at the Pastor. "Let's pray" We all held hands as Pastor prayed for me and my family. I WAS SUSPENDED for a year and during those times I did not dwell in the past, I always looked forward to when I will be used by God again. During my waiting period, I grew myself up spiritually, I prayed more, fasted more, meditated on the word of God more and attended services more. And today, I'm the one leading the worship to usher the Pastor on the altar. "Great is thy faithfulness Great is thy faithfulness Morning by morning new mercies I see..." The church joined me and more importantly I felt the move of God. "Thank you Jesus" I said in my heart. Pastor smiled when he mounted the pulpit and patted me on my back. "Welcome back Naomi." He whispered in my ears. "It's good to be back" I replied. Penshalom Sorry for the late update Another character's story will be up soon
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 1:55pm On Apr 22, 2019 |
Episode 10 (Naomi's Story). I'M PRETTY MUCH what you can call ordinary, I'm a very shy person and I really blend with the crowd but that's okay, it doesn't really matter, I don't really care about people, I care more about God. Don't get me wrong, I'm not antisocial or anything and I'm not a snub, I'm pleasant to everyone I meet but I'm just more focused on God and my purpose. I love singing, oh I can't explain how much I love worshipping God, it makes me feel so fulfilled. I guess you can say I found my purpose pretty early but I lost my way. "I can't believe this Naomi" My Pastor said, disappointment evident in his eyes. "You are one of the members I adore in church because of your seriousness with the things of God. How did you get yourself into this mess?" Pastor said. Yes Naomi, how did you get yourself into this mess? Carelessness. I allowed my flesh win me over. Even though I'm just a simple God loving girl, I had a crush on the most handsome boy in church, there were times I subtly stretch my neck just to get a glimpse of him and hope he would look at me too and he did, he actually did. It was supposed to be the best day of my life but it turned out to be the worst. JACOB. Anytime I heard that name, my heart would always beat fast, I think half of the girls in church secretly has a crush on him. I know Jacob is a player but I really did not care, I just wanted him and I got him. This fateful Sunday, I just led the choir ministration and then took the worship section before taking my seat when I felt eyes on me. I looked towards the direction and lo and behold it's Jake looking straight at me. My heartbeat skyrocketed a million times, I could not hold his stare so I looked away but I kept glancing at him and he did too, a smirk always plastered on his face. I did not hear anything the Pastor said I just wanted service to be over. Unfortunately, I had to wait till evening because we had a special service in church after the normal service. Jacob came to me on my way home, it's a really quiet road. I was answering him in monosyllables, I was so nervous and I know he knew he made me nervous. Few minutes later, my back was already on the wall and Jacob came closer, his cologne clouding my senses. I did not want to do it but I could not control myself, I wanted this, I've been craving this for so long. "Flee from all appearance of evil" A voice spoke up. I kept the still small voice at bay, this is not the time. You see, God will always speak up when we want fall into sin but God will never force you to do anything. When Jacob's lips met mine, I felt was on cloud nine, his lips are so soft and he tasted really sweet. "Do you want to take this somewhere else?" Jacob said into my ear, his teeth grazed my ear, his voice sounded really sexy. I whispered "Yes". "Let's go to my house" I said catching my breath. I walked really fast, Jacob was just walking casually his hands in his pocket. As soon as we got home and locked the door, I jumped on him and well you know the rest of the story. It happened in the living room right in my parents' house and as the devil will have it, my parents had travelled to visit my Grandparents the previous Friday and they were due to come back the following Monday, in the morning, I could not go because of the song I had to lead in church. It was like the devil planned all this before. Jacob left as soon as we were done. "Good bye" He whispered in my ear. TRUTH BE TOLD, I did not sleep that night, I kept thinking of Jacob, his breath, his hands on me, the words he whispered, his smell; so as soon as we were done with our family devotion, I texted Jacob. "Hey Jacob. I enjoyed last night. Can we meet again?" "Nah, I'll pass" He replied almost immediately. That message broke my heart. "Did I do something wrong?" I texted him again, it didn't deliver. "Are you there?" "Jacob" Did he block me? I quickly took my bath, dressed up and ran off to school. I needed to talk to Jacob and he drove in just as soon as I got to the school compound so I waited for him by his car door. Jake" I greeted him with a small wave when he got out of the car. "Naomi" He waved back too, his eyes everywhere but me. "Jake. I tried sending you messages after your reply but I think you blocked me or something" I said nervously playing with my ear. "Listen Naomi, you are great and you are beautiful but this can never work. You and I, it's a No" Those words, those words did something within me, it was like something was punching my heart. "Why?" My lips quivered. "So many reasons that I can't tell you, it's just better this way." He held my shoulders and looked into my eyes his face sad but it seems so fake. "It's not you, it's me. I'm so sorry Naomi" I watched Jacob leave my eyes getting blurry with each step he took. I felt used. He played me. I was just another conquest. Just a fling. Another girl he got. It was like I just got my reasoning back. I put my fist in my mouth to hide my scream. The pain was real. I sinned against God. I voluntarily gave myself over to sin. I let my emotions cloud my thinking. Who would have thought that I, Naomi, a worshipper, will fall into the sin of fornication? I remembered the scripture that says "Let he who thinks he stands, let him take heed lest he falls" Penshalom Happy Easter
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 5:48am On Apr 17, 2019 |
skubido: |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 8:17pm On Apr 16, 2019 |
DemiKOL:I'm glad. Amen 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 8:16pm On Apr 16, 2019 |
izaray:Thank you |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 4:47pm On Apr 16, 2019 |
Episode 9 MY PHONE RINGING woke me up. I was sleeping peacefully, which has been a while. I picked up the call not bothering to check the caller. "Hello" I spoke into the phone yawning. "Hey, get up" I checked my phone. "Jake?" "Yes?" "What's up Jake, it's three minutes past 5am" I said checking the time on my drawer. "Yeah, get up and let's pray" Jake said. "But, but.." "Come on, don't be lazy. Get up and let's pray" "How we will pray together, you are not here." "As long as we are one in spirit, we are together" "Okay" I yawned again, stretching. "Our main prayer is God showing you who He wants you to be" "Alright Jake" "Yeah. We are starting now" He dropped the call and I immediately went on my knees, thanking God first before going into the prayer properly. I prayed for over an hour which really shocked me. I've never prayed that long. Jake and I met up later in church to continue the prayer, he came to pick me up in the afternoon. We also fasted, he called me 7am and told me not to eat. We continued praying and whenever I felt faint and discouraged, Jake was always there to help. "Thank you Jake" I told him on one of those days. "It's a pleasure Grace. You helped and it's my turn to do that too" He said with a his signature smile. I made sure I attended all his programmes and never craved for what is not mine again. "I'M STRESSED OUT Jake, I want to sleep" I said removing my shoes. I'm just returning from one of his programmes. "I just got home. I'm the one who is supposed to be stressed out" "Whatever Jake, good night" "Alright, make sure you pray before you sleep." "Alright, bye" I ended the call and reluctantly went to the shower to take a bath before I went to sleep but I prayed before I did. I WOKE UP with a smile. I checked the time and it's 3am. I quickly picked my phone and called Jake. As soon as he picked I spoke the words I've been dying to say before he could say "Hello". "I saw it Jake" I said excitedly. "Really?" Jake said. "Yes. I saw my purpose. I know who I am Jake" I said grinning. "Wow. Finally. Congratulations darling." "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much Jake" I said. "It's a pleasure my dear." "I'll see you later in the day, yeah?" "Yeah. Definitely" "Later Jake." "Later Gracie" I dropped the call and flopped on the bed with a big smile. I started singing, worshipping God, joy spreading within me. JAKE GREETED ME with a smile as soon as he saw me and I did too practically jumping for joy. I pulled away and smiled. "I'm so happy" "I know" He said ruffling my hair. I frowned at him, rearranging my hair. "So what did you see?" I grinned. "I saw myself talking to people in church on the pulpit. I'm a teacher of the word Jake." "You love it?" "I do. I totally do. I can't believe I never thought of it" "It fit you. You really taught me the word of God during those times you were building me up" "I sure did" I said. "What's the next step?" "I'm going to join the Bible Study unit in church and well, I'll grow from there." "That's good" He gave me a thumbs up. I'M HAPPY GRACE found her purpose, we both have a path now, we have a direction we want to take and we are working towards making God happy. I won't deny it, I have strong feelings for Gracie and if I want to act on my emotions I would ask her now, I will shout it to the world that Grace is mine but I can't allow my emotions cloud my reasoning. God gave us a choice in choosing our life partners but He actually is interested in it, so I'm going to pray genuinely and sincerely about it before taking any step. Nevertheless, I will still text her. "Good night Gracie." I got a reply about twenty seconds later. "Good night, Jake" I smiled and flopped on my bed thinking back to the days I actually listened to Grace and how my life has turned around. Grace sure is something. Penshalom This is not the end, stay tuned for another character's story which will be posted soon. I will post an episode of Grace and Jake's story so y'all can know what happened later. Thank you for reading. Don't forget to share with others. Tell me, has this story been a blessing you? Tell me, have you found your purpose? Email: damilolaadenyi5@gmail.com 1 Like
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 9:11pm On Apr 15, 2019 |
skubido: Yeah, God will always talk. Thanks for the comments |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 4:55pm On Apr 15, 2019 |
Episode 8 "WHAT ARE YOU doing Grace?" I asked her in my mind as if she could hear me. She broke our eye contact and took a seat far from me. We began the rehearsals and unfortunately for her I'm the one teaching the song so she just had to follow orders and I made sure I gave her a lot. After the rehearsals, I waited outside where I know Gracie would surely pass. "Hello there" I said as she stepped out blocking her path. "What do you want?" Gracie asked me. "That seems to be the way you greet me these days." I looked straight into her eyes and I saw guilt, she looked down immediately, I smiled, Gracie is coming back. "So you joined the choir" I said. "Yes I joined the choir" She said. "So you've prayed about it?" She shrugged. "Okay. I hope you know what you are doing." I left her standing there but I glanced back just to make sure she's alright. IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS since I joined the choir and I'm leading the worship section today. I've never been more nervous in my life. I climbed the podium, grabbed the mic with my shaky hands. I gathered myself together. "Hallelujah" "Amen" The church chorused. "Begin to wave your hands to Jesus" As I began to sing, I felt something within me. "This is not what I called you for" A voice said. I started shaking on the stage, those words hit me. All along I never felt I was meant to be here, I did not just fit in. I was forcing myself to be who I'm not. This is not what I am made for. I started crying but I kept on singing trying to keep my voice from shaking. The congregation probably thought I'm in the spirit. I opened my eyes and looked frantically around and my eyes caught his. He knew something was wrong. The tears started falling more and he understood what I wanted. Jacob came to the podium, collected the mic and gave me an assuring look before continuing the song. I walked out from the church, found a secluded place and bawled. I WAS STILL thinking when I heard footsteps. I stood up to check who it is I didn't want anyone to see me in my messed up state now. I sighed with relief when I saw It's Jacob. "Hey" He was breathing hard and sweating a bit, guess he ran here. "Service is over?" "Yeah" He sat down and I did too. "I'm sorry Jake" I said after a few minutes. Jake just kept quiet. "I'm so sorry for the way I acted, I was just angry at myself, I was embarrassed and I felt jealous too" A few tears dropped. "I let my emotions take a hold of my thinking and I acted irrationally." "I joined the choir because I wanted to prove to you that I could be better. I can't believe I can be so stupid" Jake held my left hand and squeezed it affectionately. "This has taught me that because you've been in Christ so long does not make you matured in Christ, I did things a new believer will not even do. You've matured so much Jake, you were calm all through. Thank you for standing by me" "Gracie, if I don't stand by you, who will? No one else will be able to cope with your crazy moments." Jake teased. I bumped his shoulder with mine and I smiled genuinely which has really been a long time I did that. "I missed you tho" Jake said. "Of course, why wouldn't you miss me? I'm the best out there" I said teasingly. Jake looked into my eyes with a strange emotion but he quickly looked away. "Alright, what do you want to do now?" Jake asked me. "What should I do?" "You need to pray and thoroughly search yourself and I'm sure God will say something. And I will be with you every step of the way" Jake assured me. I smiled. Jake and I prayed together before we went home. We both got scolded by our parents, apparently they called us but we did not pick the calls. I slept peacefully that night. I'm starting afresh. Penshalom
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 4:54pm On Apr 15, 2019 |
Episode 8 "WHAT ARE YOU doing Grace?" I asked her in my mind as if she could hear me. She broke our eye contact and took a seat far from me. We began the rehearsals and unfortunately for her I'm the one teaching the song so she just had to follow orders and I made sure I gave her a lot. After the rehearsals, I waited outside where I know Gracie would surely pass. "Hello there" I said as she stepped out blocking her path. "What do you want?" Gracie asked me. "That seems to be the way you greet me these days." I looked straight into her eyes and I saw guilt, she looked down immediately, I smiled, Gracie is coming back. "So you joined the choir" I said. "Yes I joined the choir" She said. "So you've prayed about it?" She shrugged. "Okay. I hope you know what you are doing." I left her standing there but I glanced back just to make sure she's alright. IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS since I joined the choir and I'm leading the worship section today. I've never been more nervous in my life. I climbed the podium, grabbed the mic with my shaky hands. I gathered myself together. "Hallelujah" "Amen" The church chorused. "Begin to wave your hands to Jesus" As I began to sing, I felt something within me. "This is not what I called you for" A voice said. I started shaking on the stage, those words hit me. All along I never felt I was meant to be here, I did not just fit in. I was forcing myself to be who I'm not. This is not what I am made for. I started crying but I kept on singing trying to keep my voice from shaking. The congregation probably thought I'm in the spirit. I opened my eyes and looked frantically around and my eyes caught his. He knew something was wrong. The tears started falling more and he understood what I wanted. Jacob came to the podium, collected the mic and gave me an assuring look before continuing the song. I walked out from the church, found a secluded place and bawled. I WAS STILL thinking when I heard footsteps. I stood up to check who it is I didn't want anyone to see me in my messed up state now. I sighed with relief when I saw It's Jacob. "Hey" He was breathing hard and sweating a bit, guess he ran here. "Service is over?" "Yeah" He sat down and I did too. "I'm sorry Jake" I said after a few minutes. Jake just kept quiet. "I'm so sorry for the way I acted, I was just angry at myself, I was embarrassed and I felt jealous too" A few tears dropped. "I let my emotions take a hold of my thinking and I acted irrationally." "I joined the choir because I wanted to prove to you that I could be better. I can't believe I can be so stupid" Jake held my left hand and squeezed it affectionately. "This has taught me that because you've been in Christ so long does not make you matured in Christ, I did things a new believer will not even do. You've matured so much Jake, you were calm all through. Thank you for standing by me" "Gracie, if I don't stand by you, who will? No one else will be able to cope with your crazy moments." Jake teased. I bumped his shoulder with mine and I smiled genuinely which has really been a long time I did that. "I missed you tho" Jake said. "Of course, why wouldn't you miss me? I'm the best out there" I said teasingly. Jake looked into my eyes with a strange emotion but he quickly looked away. "Alright, what do you want to do now?" Jake asked me. "What should I do?" "You need to pray and thoroughly search yourself and I'm sure God will say something. And I will be with you every step of the way" Jake assured me. I smiled. Jake and I prayed together before we went home. We both got scolded by our parents, apparently they called us but we did not pick the calls. I slept peacefully that night. I'm starting afresh. Penshalom
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 12:14am On Apr 15, 2019 |
skubido:It's a pleasure Thank you |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 6:33pm On Apr 14, 2019 |
Purpose 7 (Gracie's Story) I stared at him, really watching him in awe, as he is ministering to the lives of people. Normally, I'd be worshipping God right now, my spirit will be connected to heaven just like the others in the congregation but my mind is on something else. Jacob asked me a question I never asked myself, how I never thought of it is beyond me. I've been helping Jacob in his own path. Just few years in Christ, Jacob has won more souls for God than I've done (If I ever won any), healed the sick, delivered the oppressed and I've just been helping with no thought for myself. It's not being nice, it's being stupid. So I ask myself again and again "Grace, what's your purpose?" And I still get nothing. Blank. Nada. I know God has created everyone for something so I can't be without a purpose. "The Lord told me there is someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and because you've come to worship God in truth and in spirit, He has healed you." "Amen" The congregation chorused. "Listen, there's another person…." I picked my bag and walked out from the church, a sudden anger overwhelming me. The anger directed at the boy on stage and mostly at myself. MY PHONE IS ringing again. I groaned. I don't want to be disturbed, but knowing Jacob, he'll keep calling and if I don't pick up, he will call my parents or probably come over. "What?" I bit into the phone. "Grace?" He called as if to confirm if it's really me. "Yes?" I said again in the same tone. "I was looking for you after the programme but I later learned you left" He said quietly. I just kept quiet. "Are you there?" He sounded worried. "What is it Jacob?" "Grace, are you okay? You've been a little off for sometime now. Is it because of what I asked you the other time?" "I have to go Jacob" I said, I'm not in the mood for any conversation especially this one. "Grace, wait.." I ended the call. I know I'm not supposed to be acting this way but I just can't help it. My phone pinged, it's a message from Jacob. "Good night Gracie. You really mean a lot to me" I just turned the phone off not even bothering to let the message sink in or reply his message. Where this emotions I'm feeling are stemming from, I really don't know but I'm not willing to let go of it. I turned off my bedside lamp and went to bed without praying. I HAD A restless night and I woke up with a headache which made my emotions worse than yesterday. I didn't bother to take breakfast, just dressed up for school. Just as I got out, a familiar car drove in, but I ignored it and continued walking. Jacob ran out of the car and caught my arm. "Gracie" I turned to look at him, my arms folded on my chest. "Gracie please let's talk." "I don't want to talk" I said sharply. Jacob sighed. "Alright, can I drop you off at school at least?" I reluctantly entered the car and kept quiet all through, I just looked out the window but occasionally I felt eyes on me. He parked his car when we got and as I was about to open the door, he locked it. I unlocked it. He locked it again. We did this thrice. I let out an angry breath. "I'm not in the mood for jokes this morning Jacob" "You already made that obvious" I unlocked the car and he immediately locked it again. I groaned out. "Alright, talk" "That's better" Jacob smiled but it faltered when he realised I was not going to return that smile. "Why are you acting this way? I'm sorry I asked you that question but I was just looking out for you Gracie." He looked at me and I looked away. "Gracie, you helped a lot, you helped me find my path, you gave me a goal, you helped me grow spiritually, you've always been there and I want to be there for you too" He held my hand. "Let's do this together" I looked at him for two minutes before snatching my hands from his. "No. I can do this myself. I don't need your help" I unlocked the car and stepped out not giving him another glance. IF ANYONE TOLD me Gracie and I will be like this, I would call the person a liar. I really don't understand why she's acting this way. Was I wrong to ask her? I typed on my phone again but ended up cancelling the message for the twentieth time this evening. I threw the phone on the couch and let out a huge sigh. "Wow, that's a big one" My Mom who I didn't notice when she entered said. "Hi Mom" I greeted her. Mom sat opposite me. "What's got you so worked up?" I rubbed my face. "It's Grace Mom" "What's wrong with Grace?" "Mom, you know how Grace has been of help to me, she has practically been my mentor through out this Christian journey of mine. I found my purpose and she has always encouraged me, but I realised she has been helping me all along and she didn't seem to think of her purpose herself so I asked her." I sighed again. "At first, we were cool but now she's starting to act out, she has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do" My Mom smiled. "You did what's best Jake. Leave her for now" I looked up. "Leave Gracie? Come on Mom" My Mom smiled again. "It's better you leave her for now, as long as you are around her, she will always be angry, let her realise herself and she will come back to you." "Really?" "Yes. She is angry at herself, she needs to sort out herself first." I thought about it for a while. "Alright. Thank you Mom" I kissed her cheek. "You are welcome" Mom smiled before going to the kitchen leaving me to my thoughts. THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND at the choir practice, the choir leader came in with someone following her closely. "Hello everyone, please welcome our new choir member, Sister Grace." Grace stepped from behind her and everyone clapped except me. Our eyes locked. What are you doing Grace? Penshalom
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Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 8:12pm On Apr 11, 2019 |
izaray:Thank you dear |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 8:11pm On Apr 11, 2019 |
Ann2012:Thank you dear 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 9:44pm On Apr 10, 2019 |
izaray:Thank you hon 1 Like |
Literature / Re: Purpose by Penshalom(f): 9:44pm On Apr 10, 2019 |
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