₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
Oga "slapper", just take it easy. Remember shes still not strong enough for all the slapping you're dishing out to her at the slightest provocation.

Your mum didn't do well.
How can she come to a nursing mother and instead of helping her, she expected her to be cooking fresh meals every hour of the day?
That was why your wife was not happy about her coming because she knew it will end in complains of neglect.. imagine that " patience ozokwo" fake cry. What was that for? So you can beat up your wife for her? Hmm.. all this mother inlaw though.

Your wife and her mother probably ate the same refrigerated food but your mom chose to make a mountain out of the issue.

Omugwo is meant for the new Mom, not your mother. So your wife was not expected to serve your Mom in this case.

Lastly, you have to choose whom you want to be married to. Your wife is your wife and your new mother. Your Mom has to respect that fact.

You probably are unmarried to nunderstand Ops prospective.

incogni2o:
Just know 50 to 80 percentage of Nigerian women are like this.

My Wife is about 50% of your Wife's character(with the crying part too and even the vision part)

Firstly, people like her need a lot of maturity from the husband, maybe partly due to the upbringing, They are ignorant of a lot of things, listen to a lot of negative things from the Devil and his manipulations rather than from God, it difficult to change their point of view unless something emotionally traumatizing happens to them.

The issue now is that you have already travelled abroad, me, I am still here and we are doing the physical and spiritual part and really making progress, You have to be the Dad they never had in terms of Love (This is hard I must say). You also have to be the more truly spiritualy leading.
[/b]
[b]Your one best bet now can no more be physical but spiritual. [/b]God respects the Man's say over the Wife,

[b]Report her to God, although this looks funny it works, also let her know you have authority over her spiritually, even before God, Trust, me, when God start dealing with Her spiritualy, She'll come back with true humility and submission.

It truly works.

Never listen to the manipulations of the Devil.

This ones touch me as well. Noted by me too.
Cc
50pseamer

neonly:
From yur write up you still young my best advise is dat don't make another baby with her for now it will be more easy to detach yurself from her with only one child d more children d more it becomes more hard to detach
Yur family is yur family because without them u won't be what u are today don't let any body ridicule yur family I mean anybody.
Start making plan B. I am in same shoe but dis static am using now is making me to have my sanity so many Jezebel outder careful

@boded.
1) u do not know how many kids he plans on making and for what period time frame. Besides, in as much as we find ourselves in such relationship, it only kills our time waiting for when the worst happens from her side. Na once chance we enter.
2) the 2nd bolded should sink deep into our head. BC should she exit, we will only fall back to our family. She too to her family. So hold ur biological family wells. But when we detach from our biological members and foolishly hold on to such wife's according to the bible, OYO is ur case.
Note: I am not condemning the Bible advice to stick to ones wife, but it is the WISE Wife that it refers to and not the FOOLISH wife.
3) 3rd @_bolded. Our sanity is a priority. We must be of sound mind and judgement
Cc
50pseamer

olaniyiYAH:
Bro marriage is not like that
Yesterday I was in the house thinking how I paid house rent before Christmas, my wife just come and greet me saying she has checked my phone and seen all message and chat she even send some to her junior sister because I stopped bathing my baby , if I want to have sex with her she will say no and I will be looking until yesterday when she comes up with issue of checking my phone

Singles men do not understand that those gender are quite complex and warped in their thoughts compared to men.
The man says I do not have money
They woman reaches several conclusions from that expression such as:
He no longer cares about me
What has he done with money?
Who is eating all his money?
Is it his mother or side chick?
Why can't he hustle like other men?
Etc

She must be a wife whose husband takes care of mist household needs whole she keeps savings

fabianiyobosa:
My marriage is about a year and 2 months old and we have a son, I compliment my wife from time to time about how she is doing so much to keep our family together, sometimes we do not have enough, we just buy what we need the most and we live abroad.

I am physically stronger than my wife, but she is the one doing almost everything to take care of me and our son. Our baby is 4 months old now and to be honest, it has not been easy, but she is always there to carry him for long periods till he falls asleep, then she does the laundry, then she cooks, then she feeds him, bathe him, sometimes when I am busy with work, she goes in the cold with him to Drs appointments, shopping and almost everything that needs to be done, then after this hardwork of taking care of our SON, one basta*d of a lady with no home training will now say my wife cannot enter my sons kitchen when he finally gets married. Infact, they are both mad. Call my wife a witch, infact they are very mad.

OP, If I say you are stu.pid for even bringing this up, some will say I am harsh but it is what it is.

My brother, you will live longer. Ur position and situation is quite, appreciated. U make me like ur wife and wish I had her type. Count urself blessed and pray not to enter into the kind of temptation we are in to.

Let the singles borrow sense. I marriage, actions are not spontaneous considering collateral damage even yo self. Just not get bad wife. Na there u go no say khaki no be leather.
But blacks are Strong compared to whites

Harddiskng:
Op your problem is the foundation on which your marriage stands.

You want to erect a 21 storey building on a foundation meant for small boys-quarters.

If you didn’t do these things with your wife before marriage how can you expect it in marriage.

It is expected that before marriage each party must know what would be required: in short before marriage I may require my wife to sign a small contract cuz I like a ride or die; going to same church, raising children in the knowledge of God etc everything must be in our contract. If she doesn’t agree then I let her go.

But now that you are already married to an unwilling woman, it is an uphill climb. Very difficult, Only God can help you. Start engaging your God.

Shiloh 2021 has started, I would advise you to log-in into divine unction via this and reclaim your home.

Single person

lilyheaven:
Go to her and have sex whenever you feel Hot, you don’t have to seek permission.
You payed for it.
If you can’t do that, get someone to service you, or is it very hard to get one over there?
Anyways,
The butterfly feeling she had for you has disappeared.

For your mom, I’m sure you won’t watch her insult her. I don’t like children that watch others insult their parents.

Again, you’re not divorcing her, even if she serves you a divorce paper, she most marry you by fire by force.

Make yourself scarce at home, you can come back when you know she is already sleeping , or out.

Teach your mind to be happy in any given situation.

Single person

Kenturkey048:
As in...The matter dey pain me on behalf of the momsy.... I wonder wetin dey do all these boys turned husband...How can somebody call your mom a witch and you aren't even ashamed to type that shit...... ??

Single person

9jausedauto:
You do all the chores and pay all the bills and she denies you sex, use ur head sir, divorce her now b4 she go change am for you later

Single person

50pseamer:
Thanks so much for your mature advice, she does not really believe in the leadership of a man,at least from what I see. There was a time I asked her not to take my child to school and she told me she will take him to school , and she did ignoring my request, I have asked her if she wants to go, so that we can separate amicably, she should not worry about her documents, I will still help since she has a child for me. I am not sure if I ask her to stop going to her church that she will comply, but I will tell her my decision, being that we live in a white man's country, I have tried to be a bit soft. She is not telling me she wants to go, I am thinking she wants me to pull the divorce trigger, that's why she is not saying anything, if I ask her if she loves me, the answer comes with alot of delay too. It's unfortunate, I guess I made a big mistake

I am still on page 2_of this thread and have been on this since yesterday as it piques my interest.
I am equally married for 6yrs with two kids (2yrs and the other few days old); based in Nigeria but hoping I could relocate abroad like u.
However, I have never had an a need to mark my anniversary bc it has been series of similar issues as yours. This has caused me to drag my foot on processing any traveling stuff. But sometimes I think of giving my kids that privilege while becoming the sacrificial lamb, bc I know my spouse will rubbish me abroad considering that she is a RN
If she could rubbish me here in Naija as well as my parents (front, right and center). I mean anything u can reckone with, I wonder y she would not do it abroad.
At present, I foot virtually every expense while she works and I do not seek to know how she spends her money but believed she Is thrift. But the shocker was having to purchase a piece of land without my knowledge but with the knowledge of her Step mother.
Guy man, if I take this one abroad and she earns in dollar, what will be my situation.
As i read ur story, it tells me that u and I are the NICE guys that ladies desire to have but can not keep.
How to b a bad guy becomes a proplem at this our age ( I am over 40 and wife is over 30).
Less I forget, the latter Is why I paused to reply. How old is ur wife and did u marry her abroad or u took her there?
BC it seems she feels she is very young and presented with lots of opportunities abroad. Hence, I agree with ur conclusion: she is waiting for u to pull the divorce string or hit her.
Use ur head. Stay connected with ur siblings, report less to her mother. But ur challenge and my challenge and the challenge of ur mother (whether she is aware if it or not) is: making ur mother have the Joy of Motherhood and the abroad experience which is highly and overwhelming enjoyed by ur wife without with felt gratitude. A thing that makes a husband live longer.
I c u Existing just for the kids. But others have adviced on how to live for the kids. I have taken note of does advices too
Ur wife called ur mum a witch; mine said she sees,reason why women wish there mother in-law death.
Who never marry no go understand this ordeal.
Our only limitations is Living as a Christian. Else, what's the benefit of working to save the marriage. Meanwhile, marriage is not alife; neither is the husband nor the wife.
Hmmmm. We are just existing for the kids. Let's find joy
Make itself happy
Expect the worse each day, this will care less
Go to the gym
Watch football out of doors
Take to the advice of the ladies, novia22 and akinade28.
I will finish through with the replies on this thread.
However, singles and unruly should shut their mouth.