In receiving advice,always put the future into consideration. I would have advised you to stay put but insist on alternative accomodation for her but that will be a temporary remedy & wont solve the problem in the long run. If that ladys ist kid is a boy he automatically becomes the heir whether they live in the house/not even if you have your own child & if not, GOD FORBID anything happens to your husband that house you built will become temporary cos your inlaws might throw you out. Also once the child is born your husband will not give you attention as such cos the new wife will demand full attention from him most especially if shes living in another apartment. My dear, its a painful decision to make but ALWAYS PUT THE FUTURE INTO CONSIDERATION!

I have my LL.B and B.L but havent done NYSC cos of some problems. What can i do in terms of getting a good paying job?

Hi house. Thanks for your contributions once again. It is really appreciated. I like the mature advice & its natural to differ in our views cos we are different. I'l sieve through the contributions & try out the suggestions. Thank you. @maclatunji- i couldnt stop laughing with tears running down my cheeks & even forgot i had a dilemma on my hands. Thanks 4 making my day. Cheers!

Thanks all for sharing this burden with me. I feel much lighter. I do appreciate it. I'l be more involved in making myself happy & praying that things change for the better but i'l still put in more effort to make things work cos marriage is for better & for worse. Thank you. Goodnite

I dont just TALK which i have done alot of. I have initiated lots of moves but it gets thrown back at me. I try 2 organize outings but hes not interested. I try 2 involve him in what i do but its more like thats your business. I initiate sex but its me trying 2 satisfy him while i'm left dry. I have tried over the years to bring back the spark but to no avail. I tried moving to his room but i realised its better i lie in my own bed alone cos i'm not noticed there. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO

Thank you all for your advice. Divorce is totally out of the question. After 3kids i look like i havent given birth to even 1 so its not in terms of been out of shape. Its my kids & job that keeps me going. But all the same i'l keep on doing my best & praying to GOD 2 turn him around cos the more i try 2 liven things up it gets thrown back in my face. When i go 2 his bedroom he doesnt touch me when i lie beside him. Its really frustrating thats why i tend to stay on my own now.

I have been married for 9years with 3kids. My marriage is ok but there is no spark in our love life.anytime i bring up the issue of lack of intimacy between us he claims theres no problem between us. We maintain separate bedrooms & i feel that contributes but he does not want us to maintain one. We make love only when he feels like it & even then its onesided cos its over when he has climaxed. I know he cares about us but i dont feel any love on his part. I dont hear the words "I LOVE YOU". I have sort of resigned myself to fate but its getting to me. I have tried repeatedly to talk about it but its pushed aside passively. Isnt marriage meant to be enjoyed? I am not enjoying my marriage. PLS WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE WORK? (Pls serious contributions only). (p.s - we dated for 4years before marriage)

@slimyem. Thank you. I appreciate your mature advise. I'l give it a try but i know there will be resistance on his part cos in d past i tried organizing outings 4 us but he wasnt interested, i tried doing the things we did while dating but i end up feeling embarassed cos of his nonchalance. But i'l be more forceful this time cos i want things to work. Thanks

We dated for 4years & things were going very well. I dont know what caused the change cos he claims all is well.

I have been married for 9years with 3kids. My marriage is ok but theres no spark in our love life. Anytime i bring up the issue of lack of intimacy between us he claims theres no problem between us. We maintain separate bedrooms & i feel that contributes but he doesnt want us to maintain one. We make love only when he feels like it & even then its onesided cos its over when he has climaxed. I know he cares about us but i dont feel any love on his part. I dont here the words "I LOVE YOU". I have sort of resigned myself to fate but its getting to me. I have tried repeatedly to talk about it but its pushed aside passively. Isnt marriage meant to be enjoyed? I am not enjoying my marriage. PLS WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE WORK? (Pls serious contributions only)

My advise to you is to be steadfast in prayers & be faithfully patient. See this as a preparatory ground for you to be able to nurture your own biological kids when they do come. Make Research on the internet on natural foods that can increase sperm count & introduce it into his diet. God will surprise you when you least expect it but please avoid negative tots/deeds. God will definitely reward you with yours as you keep on loving & nurturing your step kids & please when yours come do not change in the way you feel towards them. But most of all keep up a cheerful countenance. Good luck

Most nigerian men feel its the sole duty of the mums to handle such trivial issues & so pay little or no attention and when they are left alone with the baby all hell will be let loose with numerous complaints left, right & center. Nigerian dads learn to support your wives by helping out once in a while so that you wont be caught unawares. Cheers!