₦airaland Forum

Ombre:
I will comment when this reaches FP.

e dey front page

Just one question. Do you have a car?

Switchman:
I actually don't have issues with the house chores as a way to assist her but the bad mouth is really killing me.

How can a matured man like u be senseless.....?

U left ur job ń ur life in Lagos to settle down wth a lady in abj where u have no job appointment.


Better move back to Lagos n start ur life afresh bros......

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Your were after kpekus now kpekus Don tire you, you now realize the shit you got your self in.

BRATISLAVA:
If a woman went to live with a man, there would be all manner of abuses against her and she would be called a gold digging w,hore who cannot keep her pussy in one place.

What then can we call this man?

They are MANY in Abuja and PH, but we are not ready for that conversation. One hook my friend, small girl o. The kind chest pain that guy dey give her ehn?!

aroundtheearth:
You resigned from your job to move in with a woman you're not married to because you assumed she's desperate and probably a mumu you can take advantage of or mooch off on not knowing your actions could backfire. Well, you're not married, so you can leave if you can't handle the situation because it turned out she's no mumu afterall, but I'm guessing you ain't got no money to move out. Pele

The guy get mind. Women way de naturally wicked

BarristerAlarig:
I totally missed this. Op made her move from a self con to a mini flat with more expenses. Now she has to cover the expenses which is way higher than she's use to. Who wouldn't nag?? OP needs to apologise to this woman.

Right. And still it doesn’t give her any right to belittle or be abusive but I definitely understand her disappointment and frustrations.

You bleeped up,I know how you feel,I have being in your situation before.pack your load and go back to lag ..do uber in lag before you can get back on track,then get a job there since you know Lagos terrain,Abj no be moi moi,I stayed there before and I knw what am saying.its more of connections.go.back to lag,do uber,get a job there in lag,when your hand strong you can come back to Abuja to rent a place on your own terms and hustle with a free mind.the more you stay with her,the more issues arise.like I said I have being in your exact situation before,she even drove me out and put my bags outside and I had to drop it in one uncompleted building before she later come back to apologize.

Mixed with guys if your trip in Abuja and start asking them what they do and join them somehow,as long as you can bring something in the tables she won’t be giving you issues that much,women hate it when they are the one doing the mans job.since she is working and paying the bills you have to do the house chores,in summary try and always ass something to the table she will respect you more.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Is this woman your wife? I am sure if your father hears this, he will be mad with you because surely, he did not train you to turn into a human leech.

I do not know what this world is turning into. A man will pack his luggage to go living with a woman who he did not pay dowry for.

#ILMOVON
#Attitude
#Bliv


If we say make una dey in charge of una relationship una go call us Patriarchy FC..
Instead of a woman to bend her rules and collapse her structures to suit you, na you wey be man come bend your rules, collapse your own structure to suit her..
You be better mumu, any joint venture with a woman in the name of love or relationship would definitely collapse in due time..
No bleeps given..
Carey your cross, I hope she throw you out soonest..

[

Switchman:
Thanks for the advise, honestly I think that is the exact strategy I will use to buy time for myself. I will have to play the fool and obedient child while I work on my plan B. I don't think it's worth being depressed cos if I die life goes on for her.

May God bless all the guys in the house financially cos without money love and respect vanishes.

Pls perfect ur plan ń japa...... Don't make mistake twice

Op sorry oh.. The Lord is ya strength.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

What happened to your car you were using to hustle?

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Whats your educational qualifications and which part of Abuja do you reside.

You made a foolish mistake but that doesn't mean there is mo correction for this mistake.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

He's just passing through what many men subject women to, but see how he's wailing and claiming depression after just - only- 3 months. And afterwards they will come online to spew all manner of things and get support for what they've done.

If they don't accuse him of having an itchy pussy, being unproductive, bringing nothing to the table, looking for how to date a rich woman when he is a broke useless wide dickhole like the Atlantic, lazy and ungrateful, ungrateful gold digger, selfish and useless, then you can be sure this forum will stand strong.

She should think of polygamy or kicking him out. What other advice do we normally get on this forum?

My dad (may his soul rest in peace) used to say to me:

"My son, if you can put women aside for now and focus on achieving your dreams, you'll become a better and successful man."

I took my father's advice and today I am the happier for it.

Richy4:
What you are battling with is nothing but superiority Complex.... In your mind/ heart you have lined up how a man should be... A man should not wash his own cloth, a man should not do chores etc... That is just nonsense...Someone that altered her simple life style of living in an apartment and foots majority of the bills just to meet your demand half way, you were not even grateful... For your information, A lot of married men do chores.... If anyone on social media tells you otherwise, he is lying to u...

Besides, You know very well that covid-19 disrupted a lot of things around the world including Nigeria.. and you should know the average time frame that one would look for job around the world has doubled because of the pandemic... Take it easy with yourself... Be a little humble and focus on your goal... Though I simply wish that Lady saw a better man who will love her in return instead of u... because your Ego is higher than Kilimanjaro...

God bless you.
You saw right through his posts.
A man that sees it belittling to do his own laundry.
I put it ro you that the lady was almost overburdened by his perception of a husband to be and had to start speaking up and out.
Imagine him saying he kept his car in lagos so that he will see the lady's true colour.
Who does that if you really have a good heart?
A lady who left her former living to rent something more expensive has shown serious commitment to a relationship. The op who left his secondary source of income in lagos to test another person is not a serious fellow.
P.s. when the op moves out, its the lady who dodged a bullet. He thinks having a pernis qualifies all your attitude because a woman are looking to be married. Shiorrr

your only mistake was resigning without securing another job first.

keep striving!

this is super story.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Have you seen the preek?

mariahAngel:
With the words above, you'd know that the op had it all planned out from the start.
He deliberately sought out an older lady for his gain.
He brought the problem upon himself.

I don't even doubt if his ultimate plan was to leave the lady after achieving his aim.

I thought I was the only one that saw the bold part, calling her old and desperate. He is looking down on her, but thought he could use her for money and a job then begin to complain that she is desperate and old then move on.

Whatever she serves is foiling his plans badly.

Switchman:
Three months pass and am already feeling the heat, for now just wanna play the fool and double my hustle without letting her know my plans and at the slightest opportunity I move. Nothing as sickening as having a nagging wife

this your plan is the altimate plan, stick to it, you will laugh last

OP you messed up big time by quitting your job and moving to a new environment to be with a lady in her apartment without a tangible amount of money in your account as plan B but don't worry such is life. My candid advice for u is to relocate back to lag because there are better opportunities of getting a good job in lag than abj.




NB: Am speaking from experience

aroundtheearth:
Abeg, shift. Depressed ko. He got himself into the mess he's in. It's nobody's fault he moved in with her with no job and no money saved either.

The same way you should've read my comment and passed. It's not your place to police anyone's comment here, so keep it moving.

Yes, he did but you didn't proffer the way forward. That's unfair to a fellow human who shared his problem

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Fear God, una say no.


Have sense of dignity as a man, mba!


How can a full fledged man accept to quit his job, relocate from his city to move in with a lady without adequate financial backup


Dear Lord, please give my son enough sense and wisdom when he becomes an adult. Favor the works of his hands and let him obtain favor from you. Whenever he calls upon you answer him speadily the way you answer me.


Above all father, give him the grace to love you and obey your word as written in the Holy Bible. Take away from him every bad friend that will lead him astray.


Amen!




Now to your solution, first go down on your kneels and ask God for forgiveness.

Also confess your sins of wanting to deceive that lady and use her to achieve your evil aim of getting a better life and ditching her after which God saw your heart.

How can you look down on a lady you claim to love and even calling her old and desperate and you think you can deceive God You need to ask God for forgiveness and mercy first, if not, it won't be easy oh

THE WOMAN HAS DEFEATED YOU,

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

I can't believe a man can do this but it has come already.
Even if you own the apartment,the woman will bossy over you since you came to Abuja through her.
You had acted in haste. Even if you had wanted to relocate to Abuja initially you should have done it the other way.
But now,look for job at all cost even if it is not you dream job. Something to step on.
If you can get another appointment of yourself,ok.
If none works come back to Lagos and replan your life.
But most importantly prayers

If you were my son, even as old as you are, I will beat the living daylight out of you.
Go back to Lagos immediately.

You tried to play a game you have not mastered, now you have been played.

From your write-up you never liked this woman. You loved her desperation

Leave that house now. Go do uber with your car. If you have no accommodation, sleep in your car.

Go back to Lagos.

Don’t just relocate to a new state without a sure source of income.

You scored an own goal sha. Return home and rebuild your life.