AmazonTopaz:

And so says who?

They marry each other and the woman accepts the marriage or is it not? What exactly is your point

except you are to pay his groom price... stop deceiving yourself, it's a mans world whether you like it or not!!!

Dis is a very wrong claim cos as it is in women so it is with men... I bet u ave not met with men dat gives advice just to later be with d woman...... life is not a one way traffic....... u met wit few advisers doesn't give d right to generalize all women.........

brainhack:


Best thing I have read on Nairaland this month!

@TheBolded most times I got confused as to whether some followers are blind or they are just plain stupid (my money is on the latter).

Someone that has a husband, she loves, respects and cherishes (and lovely children) is giving you tips that would inevitably bring about conflict in our own up and coming relationship; telling you are a strong single woman lol. A man that would walk to ends of the world for his wife, tells you to over-assert yourself and lord over your girlfriend, in our already fragile relationship.

Is it that some people don’t have common-sense or they just don’t want love and peace in their lives, I look at followers of these social constructs with so much pity. Smh.

People, always safeguard your happiness.

The truth is that common sense is not common...


Some of them still find it a mystery that chimamanda is married...

Sometimes, I don't blame her...I came across a clip of her interview, where she said some ladies hide under feminism to be rude and nasty.


Lastly, many don't practice what they preach.

When feminist gives potential Feminist advice what do you expect??
Ndi Ara..

All these una generalizations sha

bukatyne:
In secondary school, we called it 'if na me'

I don't think it is a 'woman' problem because I have seen men do same on/offline.

'I wash my wife's car because she deserves it's; 'i cook because it is my hobby'; 'I do XYZ because my spouse deserves it'.

They are all married to the only good men and women in the world so going the extra mile for them or being a little patient is worth it.

Somehow, they 'enjoy' doing all the good things that would continually make their spouses happy. Those things are not 'compulsory', they just 'like' to do them.

They are so plenty here that it makes for comic relief when they goad posters into doing what is wrong while they know (from their previous posts/belief system/situation) that they are taking far more or doing something worse.

This generation also has itchy ears so when you assess the stories they bring or tell and tell them the truth, you become a 'man pleaser'; 'anti-feminist'; 'anti-women'; 'simp'; 'woman wrapper'. Etc.

That's why a Beyonce (a woman who forgave a cheating husband and immediately went on to have twins) would wear a bikini and tell girls they 'rule' the world or to summarize 'the future is female'. And girls would listen and project their inner 'Sasha' whom Beyonce left on stage at home.

Or a Chimamanda who dresses like a Pastor's wife would come out to complain 'girls are told to dress decently or cross their legs while sitting' and women would shout 'power to the ladies'.

Or Cardi B would tell women not to buy more expansive gifts for their men aka buy weed when he gives you flowers while she buys the world and more for her husband/baby daddy.

Like you rightly said, some of the people goading you also want to use you as a guinea pig for their fantasies. 'If Shade or Tunji runs it and it works for them, maybe I would try it'.

I believe anyone matured enough to have a relationship/marriage or attain certain positions must have acquired the required skill set and emotional intelligence to maintain them.

If they don't, they should go and learn.

My dear, truth is that there is no good marriage adviser out there. Nobody knows where another person's shoe pinches. If you are lucky, you will get your best marriage advice from childhood at home. It's not words but how your parents related to each other. If they failed in their marriage, hopefully one learns from parents' failure.

Secondly, no two marriages or circumstances are exactly same. Every married couple must sit their Jamb, UMTE and go through the whole course, with tests and exams all the way but never graduate.

Unless a marriage/union has become toxic or violent or bad for any kids involved, I stay far away from advising anyone. People always end up doing what they want anyway, advise or no advise.

Point made, Op. Why we get defensive over the truth is beyond me. Why get fixated on propriety of the topic rather than the overall idea? Women, is would seem to me, get a bit overly affected by emotions. I'd accept that marital experiences and appropriate reactions to challenges should be considered in individual terms as highlighted by the Op.
I must express great pity to a lot of women around the world for the extremely confusing social atmosphere they have been unfortunate to thrive in. The question of whether or not to stick with the excesses of feminism and the identity discuss over and above the traditional cooperative, supportive and all embracing African pattern.

GeneralPula:
Women are bad advisers generally, not just only marriage section..

[s][/s]Their brain size is so small compare to men[s][/s]. Women hardly gives good advice. Majority of them don’t know how to think viably!

Nah wetin dem see for movie dem dey use think. Their own self mind is always twisted!

But if you’re able to meet an extra ordinary woman, it’s a blessing for the man!

The only one here with a tiny brain size is you

Even with all the woman has said, women are still arguing.

No wonder people don't like telling women the truth.

People only tell women what they want to hear, which may finally destroy them.

It is better to hear the bitter truth which will lead to success than to hear the sweet lie that will lead to destruction.

Instead of them to hear this truth and take advice,they are looking for a way to blame men.


I have always said it on Nairaland that women cannot accept their mistakes.

Instead they must find a way of shifting their blame to the male gender.

Choose your battles wisely. If u can't take sh*t, then u probably should not get married. Same goes to many men. I say this advisedly. On the look of it, really, it's easier for the devorced man or widower who is comfortable to remarry, than for a widow or devorced woman with children to replace a mate in Africa. You would probably live a life riddled with disappointments and frustration. We all take rubbish in our marriages perhaps women take more. It doesn't help to counsel women to take rigid uncompromising stance in marriage. It will only undo everything and defeat the very purpose it was intended to achieve.

Caleycashh:
You nor anyone can't change how the world works, never!!!

And in your deluded mind that is how the world works right? Have you been to India where in your myopic mind that will mean the women marry the men over there since the women pay dowry and propose it is obvious you don't know how the world works since India is also a part of the world too.

Dumbarton better get it through your head that man and woman marry each other and not only men alone which is why women accept and give consent it is a two way thing.Learn and stop saying rubbish

Twelfthman:
Well women are mostly rule by their emotions.
Emotions can be the most powerful thing if put in good use but the bad side to it is that emotions cloud judgement...

Says who?

Yet men get angry and commit violence is anger not emotion too? Emotions have nothing to do with gender and it does not rule people based on gender you people should learn and stop this beer parlor talk

How do you expect illogical beings to be good marriage advisers?

AmazonTopaz:


And in your deluded mind that is how the world works right? Have you been to India where in your myopic mind that will mean the women marry the men over there since the women pay dowry and propose it is obvious you don't know how the world works since India is also a part of the world too.

Dumbarton better get it through your head that man and woman marry each other and not only men alone which is why women accept and give consent it is a two way thing.Learn and stop saying rubbish

Hahahaha... so when you want to give a good contrast you mention India!?, you must be the most foolish person on earth, a country filled with overpopulated stinking humans and impoverished as hell... you need a psychologist for even thinking of India, then go their and marry their men now, mumu girl!, blah blah blah, how many men have you asked out!??... stupid idiot, continue living in denial, don't quote me again with your stupid Indian mentality!, mtcheeew

Caleycashh:
except you are to pay his groom price... stop deceiving yourself, it's a mans world whether you like it or not!!!

Yeah the destruction and violence we see today was truly caused by men we gotta give it to them it is their world no wonder it is a terrible one to be in.

That said I talked about India in my other reply to you what do you say don't you think it is a woman's World over there and how about Abroad where there is no payment of Brideprice and women have the upper hand in marriages there don't you think it is a woman's World there too.

When people say it is a man's World they forget that even women are men because 'wo' is added to it when removed you are left with the word 'men' say something else boy we live in an ever changing world where everyone regardless of gender,race,class and religion are fighting to be held I am sure as a Blackman you will be happy to hear a white man tell you it is a white man's World I don't think you will.
You have not been paying attention to women and the Giant strides women are making the world is evolving and the future is female get used to it and stop whining.It is a man's World yet women give birth to men and men cannot birth women LMAO you are a clown

phazotron:
How do you expect illogical beings to be good marriage advisers?

Yet you are also an illogical being too.

The irony.

Caleycashh:
Hahahaha... so when you want to give a good contrast you mention India!?, you must be the most foolish person on earth, a country filled with overpopulated stinking humans and impoverished as hell... you need a psychologist for even thinking of India, then go their and marry their men now, mumu girl!, blah blah blah, how many men have you asked out!??... stupid idiot, continue living in denial, don't quote me again with your stupid Indian mentality!, mtcheeew

You are actually the most foolish person on earth though you could not answer my questions but had to badmouth the country that arguably is better than Nigeria when Nigeria is no different from the country you are condemning yet your fellow Nigerians go there for medical treatment and your so called leaders go there for medical tourism how many Indians have visited your country in that regard?

I have asked sensible men out and fortunately for me you won't meet the list because you are a stupid idiot and a stark Illiterate.You could not counter my point but chose to insult and disgrace yourself this night what a messed up fool you are
It is better to have an Indian mentality than the gutter stinking mentality you possess you are the one living in denial because you type like someone living in a bush far from reality

AmazonTopaz:


Yeah the destruction and violence we see today was truly caused by men we gotta give it to them it is their world no wonder it is a terrible one to be in.

That said I talked about India in my other reply to you what do you say don't you think it is a woman's World over there and how about Abroad where there is no payment of Brideprice and women have the upper hand in marriages there don't you think it is a woman's World there too.

When people say it is a man's World they forget that even women are men because 'wo' is added to it when removed you are left with the word 'men' say something else boy we live in an ever changing world where everyone regardless of gender,race,class and religion are fighting to be held I am sure as a Blackman you will be happy to hear a white man tell you it is a white man's World I don't think you will.
You have not been paying attention to women and the Giant strides women are making the world is evolving and the future is female get used to it and stop whining.It is a man's World yet women give birth to men and men cannot birth women LMAO you are a clown

maybe when your kids start bearing your name as surname, thats when your words will be valid and please stop mention that useless and overpopulated country again!!!, Virtually everything invented and made on earth were made by men, name any useful thing made by women!?... even the phone use in typing your living in denial shit are still made by men, men go to wars, men do the hard labours, men die for nations, keep calm and enjoy your womanhood!

AmazonTopaz:


You are actually the most foolish person on earth though you could not answer my questions but had to badmouth the country that arguably is better than Nigeria when Nigeria is no different from the country you are condemning yet your fellow Nigerians go there for medical treatment and your so called leaders go there for medical tourism how many Indians have visited your country in that regard?

I have asked sensible men out and fortunately for me you won't meet the list because you are a stupid idiot and a stark Illiterate.You could not counter my point but chose to insult and disgrace yourself this night what a messed up fool you are
It is better to have an Indian mentality than the gutter stinking mentality you possess you are the one living in denial because you type like someone living in a bush far from reality

Hahahahaha, so who are those drilling boreholes all over Nigeria, are they not Indians!?, going for treatment shows we have the money but they come here to occupy our jobs!, so we are better of than them
Hahahaha, hope you've married all of them as an Indian Woman now, Hahahaha, do I even know you!?, so who fuking cares even if you ask me out, I have bunch of women on my unwanted list FYI!, so I don't respect women who ask men out... they seem cheap and desperate to me!!!, you are the one actually living far far far from reality, check even your immediate family and see how it's being run, except you don't have a family and if so I'm really sorry for you!

Caleycashh:
maybe when your kids start bearing your name as surname, thats when your words will be valid and please stop mention that useless and overpopulated country again!!!, Virtually everything invented and made on earth were made by men, name any useful thing made by women!?... even the phone use in typing your living in denial shit are still made by men, men go to wars, men do the hard labours, men die for nations, keep calm and enjoy your womanhood!

You are such an illiterate ehn you are not exposed at all and it is sad to see.Do you know that in Latin/South America the children answer the surnames of their mothers as well as fathers and some can choose to answer their mother's surname alone does it mean that their mothers married their fathers and it is a woman's World?

You are just a sexist and a myopic one at that because the world is mainly patriarchal and it has been agreed that surnames should be patrilineal you think it is a God given right when it is a societal one do you even know the origin of surnames?

Please keep quiet Nigeria is no different from India so stop insulting the country when yours is no better.

I have read that women invented some machines and computer related stuff in the 20th century which of importance in today's world and a simple Google search will help you not disgrace yourself men have the upper hand there because during the time of invention women were not educated and given certain privilege rights as men to pursue invention that is why modern women are catching up today and excelling because it was not made available to them from the start even an illiterate knows this.Since you wanna be petty and foolish who started the wars?violence and hate if not men who are the criminals and dregs of society if not men which gender is more prone to violence and terror if not men so will it be a crime if men fight wars caused by their fellow men then?Be quiet in today's world hard labour is not something common anymore so will you say men are better than women.You must be a big illiterate if you think women don't participate in phone manufacturing and production across the globe who told you men alone made phones or are making it now.Women went through labour for 9 months to deliver scums like you.

Caleycashh:
Hahahahaha, so who are those drilling boreholes all over Nigeria, are they not Indians!?, going for treatment shows we have the money but they come here to occupy our jobs!, so we are better of than them
Hahahaha, hope you've married all of them as an Indian Woman now, Hahahaha, do I even know you!?, so who fuking cares even if you ask me out, I have bunch of women on my unwanted list FYI!, so I don't respect women who ask men out... they seem cheap and desperate to me!!!, you are the one actually living far far far from reality, check even your immediate family and see how it's being run, except you don't have a family and if so I'm really sorry for you!

And Indians don't have money do you know the number of billionaires in India can you compare them to the ones in Nigeria and you say your country has money but number one in poverty capital

You are truly a clown your country men have money yet your health system is trash and theirs is better than yours shame on your country.Which Jobs are they occupying actually?

Lol no sane woman will date you only your fellow mad women in the gutters will date you so don't give your classless self hope jor no woman dey look your side Na make you dey miserable dey sexist for women matter.
Men like you will actually pursue women who don't look your side and try to force relationships is that not desperation too only a cheap person knows a cheap person you are actually cheap that is why you talk like a clown no woman will ask.a cheap boy out so don't deceive yourself.

Lol my family is being run on an egalitarian basis and reality is not far from me because the women in my family work and have a say in their family you on the other hand must be from the gutters that is why you don't know that the times are changing and women have as much rights as men in everything.Keep your sorry to yourself no wonder you sound miserable and lost in the never changing and evolving world becoming a new reality which you are currently blind to because you are not exposed to developments around you

AmazonTopaz:

You are such an illiterate ehn you are not exposed at all and it is sad to see.Do you know that in Latin/South America the children answer the surnames of their mothers as well as fathers and some can choose to answer their mother's surname alone does it mean that their mothers married their fathers and it is a woman's World?

You are just a sexist and a myopic one at that because the world is mainly patriarchal and it has been agreed that surnames should be patrilineal you think it is a God given right when it is a societal one do you even know the origin of surnames?

Please keep quiet Nigeria is no different from India so stop insulting the country when yours is no better.

I have read that women invented some machines and computer related stuff in the 20th century which of importance in today's world and a simple Google search will help you not disgrace yourself men have the upper hand there because during the time of invention women were not educated and given certain privilege rights as men to pursue invention that is why modern women are catching up today and excelling because it was not made available to them from the start even an illiterate knows this.Since you wanna be petty and foolish who started the wars?violence and hate if not men who are the criminals and dregs of society if not men which gender is more prone to violence and terror if not men so will it be a crime if men fight wars caused by their fellow men then?Be quiet in today's world hard labour is not something common anymore so will you say men are better than women.You must be a big illiterate if you think women don't participate in phone manufacturing and production across the globe who told you men alone made phones or are making it now.Women went through labour for 9 months to deliver scums like you.

Lol... went through your posts, now i really know were you belong, I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart. you need real Love and help. wish I could!

AmazonTopaz:


And Indians don't have money do you know the number of billionaires in India can you compare them to the ones in Nigeria and you say your country has money but number one in poverty capital

You are truly a clown your country men have money yet your health system is trash and theirs is better than yours shame on your country.Which Jobs are they occupying actually?

Lol no sane woman will date you only your fellow mad women in the gutters will date you so don't give your classless self hope jor no woman dey look your side Na make you dey miserable dey sexist for women matter.
Men like you will actually pursue women who don't look your side and try to force relationships is that not desperation too only a cheap person knows a cheap person you are actually cheap that is why you talk like a clown no woman will ask.a cheap boy out so don't deceive yourself.

Lol my family is being run on an egalitarian basis and reality is not far from me because the women in my family work and have a say in their family you on the other hand must be from the gutters that is why you don't know that the times are changing and women have as much rights as men in everything.Keep your sorry to yourself no wonder you sound miserable and lost in the never changing and evolving world becoming a new reality which you are currently blind to because you are not exposed to developments around you

You do really need help, but you have to realise you can't and will never change how the world works, at least not only you cus a tree can't make a forest, I just went through your posts on your page... Feminism will never work in Nigeria!!!, it is what it is!!!... it wont even be destroyed by men if it takes effect, your fellow ladies will destroy it by themselves, Hahahaha, reason why I initially said you are living in denial!!!

Caleycashh:
Lol... went through your posts, now i really know were you belong, I'm really sorry from the bottom of my heart. you need real Love and help. wish I could!

Just shut up I know you are a proud nonentity scared to admit that a woman is much smarter than you and beat you at your foolishness better learn and read open your eyes to new realities instead of embarrassing your myopic self on a public forum. You went through my post saw that I am a smart classy lady git intimidated and pulled out like a coward who cannot handle facts.

I don't need anything I am happy and love myself hopefully you will too so that women will look at your side and not reject you everytime

You need lots of love so that your bruised ego will be able to handle to smart women that you will see excel in your life


Do well to Google search about female inventions and scientific discoveries of the 20/21st century and also women in Tech who create phones it will help you not embarrass yourself next time

AmazonTopaz:


Just shut up I know you are a proud nonentity scared to admit that a woman is much smarter than you and beat you at your foolishness better learn and read open your eyes to new realities instead of embarrassing your myopic self on a public forum. You went through my post saw that I am a smart classy lady git intimidated and pulled out like a coward who cannot handle facts.

I don't need anything I am happy and love myself hopefully you will too so that women will look at your side and not reject you everytime

You need lots of love so that your bruised ego will be able to handle to smart women that you will see excel in your life


Do well to Google search about female inventions and scientific discoveries of the 20/21st century and also women in Tech who create phones it will help you not embarrass yourself next time

Hahahahahaha... you beat me at what exactly!?, online Nairaland chats!??, if you take stuffs serious you'll go mental soon if you aren't already, I really pity you, you must be living a very miserable life to hate men like this and I doubt you have a Father figure in your life, WEIRDO!!!... Yes Graham Bell is now a woman's name!

Caleycashh:
You do really need help, but you have to realise you can't and will never change how the world works, at least not only you cus a tree can't make a forest, I just went through your posts on your page... Feminism will never work in Nigeria!!!, it is what it is!!!... it wont even be destroyed by men if it takes effect, your fellow ladies will destroy it by themselves, Hahahaha, reason why I initially said you are living in denial!!!

Lol if only you know social issues are created by humans and can be changed by humans what do you mean that you cannot change how the world works?How does the world work boy or don't you know that how the world works changes as time progresses don't be a fool seek knowledge if you have none.Feminism has been working in Nigeria that is why women are educated,vote,have Jobs are bread winners have rights equal to men are equal before the law as men are etc.When I say you are an illiterate you will think I am lying feminsm is in Nigeria and has been working fine and will continue to.It is just like saying people who fought against slavery did not know how the world worked back then but here we are today slavery is a crime.Do you know that the fight for justice racial/equality and black lives matter is a movement like feminism which is working around the world bringing world awareness and is being implemented slowly but steadily I don't expect you to know this because you are a small minded person who cannot understand the things going on around him.

You are the one living in denial if you think feminism is not in Nigeria where women have rights in all spheres as I earlier mentioned before.It goes to show that you don't know what feminism is in the first place if in denial you mean women voting,working,driving considered equal under the law have upper hand in marriage acts etc in this country then you are truly living in denial in an alternate universe.

As a man never listen to a woman who gives dating advice and never seek dating advice from women

AmazonTopaz:

Lol if only you know social issues are created by humans and can be changed by humans what do you mean that you cannot change how the world works?How does the world work boy or don't you know that how the world works changes as time progresses don't be a fool seek knowledge if you have none.Feminism has been working in Nigeria that is why women are educated,vote,have Jobs are bread winners have rights equal to men are equal before the law as men are etc.When I say you are an illiterate you will think I am lying feminsm is in Nigeria and has been working fine and will continue to.It is just like saying people who fought against slavery did not know how the world worked back then but here we are today slavery is a crime.Do you know that the fight for justice racial/equality and black lives matter is a movement like feminism which is working around the world bringing world awareness and is being implemented slowly but steadily I don't expect you to know this because you are a small minded person who cannot understand the things going on around him.

You are the one living in denial if you think feminism is not in Nigeria where women have rights in all spheres as I earlier mentioned before.It goes to show that you don't know what feminism is in the first place if in denial you mean women voting,working,driving considered equal under the law have upper hand in marriage acts etc in this country then you are truly living in denial in an alternate universe.

WEIRDO... Own the world in your stupid mentality, I pity your husband to be, hahaha haha, marry kolo keep for house!

FEMINISM IS DEMONIC AND A FAILURE

Caleycashh:
Hahahahahaha... you beat me at what exactly!?, online Nairaland chats!??, if you take stuffs serious you'll go mental soon if you aren't already, I really pity you, you must be living a very miserable life to hate men like this and I doubt you have a Father figure in your life, WEIRDO!!!

Stop using the word "hahahaha" it goes to show that you are crying and have nothing sensible to respond with.
Lol you are a clown a big one accept you lost your ego is so fragile you had to respond to me to excruciate your pains oh my my my.
Pity your sexist pitiable self though.Who told you I hate men and did I ever complain to you that my life is miserable when I say that I beat you you will be crying you had nothing to counter me with but went to chase shadows by diverting the topic who talked about men here have I ever claimed to hate men.I don't hate men you illiterate I have father figures who are sane men that value and respect women.My life is good I am living my best life surrounded with people that are worth it.I am a happy person that is why I am taking my time schooling you on the need to have sense and stop making wide assumptions on someone you don't know you have to pity your mental self to be this insane making wide assumptions about someone you know nothing about.I really pity you poor boy

will the people of this generation who think they know it all listen?