Billionsclub:
A friend of mine called me and told me what happened to her. this happened recently.
she is a single mother. she said she went to meet her boyfriend (not the father of her child) on an outing. As they were there, unknowingly to her, her boyfriend friends and their girl friends were all there. Before you know it, the guy knelt down and propose to her, they were recording, but my friend said she refused. according to her, her boyfriend was not happy. one of her boyfriend friends called her to ask her why she refused to accept the proposal and she told him the reason. according to her, she said she has only met the boy four times and they just started dating two months ago. in order words, it was too early for the boy to propose. after she explained all that happened, I told her she did the right thing. I also told her not to take the relationship serious because the boy may want to use her and dump her because of the embarrassment she gave him in public.
on a second thought, I felt a little bad because I might have given her the wrong advice.
should she continue the relationship or step out of the relationship because of the embarrassment she caused the guy by refusing to accept

Richy4:
she should have applied wisdom.... What she should have done was to agree in front of everyone and disagree privately just to save face...My opinion though...
She should have told him all her worries in private that they should give each other sometime to get to know each other that the four time of being together is not enough... he would have understand that part... To be honest, If I'm the guy I will not like to see her again even though her worries were valid...Some times it's not really nice to propose in public, because that person with be surprised with the outcome...

Billionsclub:

I told her the same thing that she should have accepted the guy in public and later say no in Private. according to her she didn't want to repeat her past mistake. I advise her not to take that guy serious because humanly speaking that guy would want to react in the near future because of the embarrassment. I don't know if I gave the right advice

Vision101:
Is your friend financially stable? In comparison with the man who is higher financially? I sense that there is an attraction other than love. That's why he is rushing it. It's a serious red flag. I recommend that she calls it off.

Billionsclub:

no she isn't, she is just a teacher, even to fend for herself a times is not easy for her. she lives with her mum. I think she is scared because of her past relationship. according to her, it is wrong to accept a proposal when u have not known the person or spend quality time with the person. but believe me, she is one of the nicest person u could ever think of. although I have told her severally that the father of her child can come back but she insist he must have moved on. but for the new guy,I don't trust him because I felt it is too sudden

Richy4:


Stop beating yourself up. you have said what was on your mind as a friend... that friend of yours is insane if it even occur to her to continue with that guy again after the public display... it was even captured on camera...Assuming it was done privately the way Joseph in the Bible was intending to call off the engagement with Mary, then it would have been OK..
Anyways, let me remove my mind from the gutters and honestly hope the EX boyfriend fall on the extremely forgiving category...

Michelle55:

It's not how long you have known someone that determines how happy you will be together, it's how well and the compatibility that matters.

Does this person fulfill 60% of what she desires in her life?
Does he give her the peace of mind she deserve?
Is he supportive and understanding like a man should be?

If he checks in all these boxes then she can make up for the rest as times goes on, no one has it all and that's why we are imperfect.

Many has dated for years yet they didn't marry while some dated for few months and are striving together to keep their home front sailing.

We're all wired differently and it will show in the way we do things as well, grace differs too!

Let her decide what she wants and go for it, besides you can't know all about your partner in one sitting even if you date for decades, a lot about your partner will unfold during the course of your marriage that's where your level of tolerance, understanding and maturity will be tried.

Never forget, marriage itself is an institution where you will never graduate from because everyday that passes you learn new things about your partner and strive to be better for each other.

Get married to stay married!!

Billionsclub:
A friend of mine called me and told me what happened to her. this happened recently.
she is a single mother. she said she went to meet her boyfriend (not the father of her child) on an outing. As they were there, unknowingly to her, her boyfriend friends and their girl friends were all there. Before you know it, the guy knelt down and propose to her, they were recording, but my friend said she refused. according to her, her boyfriend was not happy. one of her boyfriend friends called her to ask her why she refused to accept the proposal and she told him the reason. according to her, she said she has only met the boy four times and they just started dating two months ago. in order words, it was too early for the boy to propose. after she explained all that happened, I told her she did the right thing. I also told her not to take the relationship serious because the boy may want to use her and dump her because of the embarrassment she gave him in public.
on a second thought, I felt a little bad because I might have given her the wrong advice.
should she continue the relationship or step out of the relationship because of the embarrassment she caused the guy by refusing to accept

Richy4:
she should have applied wisdom.... What she should have done was to agree in front of everyone and disagree privately just to save face...My opinion though...
She should have told him all her worries in private that they should give each other sometime to get to know each other that the four time of being together is not enough... he would have understand that part... To be honest, If I'm the guy I will not like to see her again even though her worries were valid...Some times it's not really nice to propose in public, because that person might be surprised with the outcome...

Billionsclub:
A friend of mine called me and told me what happened to her. this happened recently.
she is a single mother. she said she went to meet her boyfriend (not the father of her child) on an outing. As they were there, unknowingly to her, her boyfriend friends and their girl friends were all there. Before you know it, the guy knelt down and propose to her, they were recording, but my friend said she refused. according to her, her boyfriend was not happy. one of her boyfriend friends called her to ask her why she refused to accept the proposal and she told him the reason. according to her, she said she has only met the boy four times and they just started dating two months ago. in order words, it was too early for the boy to propose. after she explained all that happened, I told her she did the right thing. I also told her not to take the relationship serious because the boy may want to use her and dump her because of the embarrassment she gave him in public.
on a second thought, I felt a little bad because I might have given her the wrong advice.
should she continue the relationship or step out of the relationship because of the embarrassment she caused the guy by refusing to accept

GboyegaD:


She did well. What was there to accept? Who will she be deceiving? No need to create a situation she can't control.

Richy4:


In your opinion, she did the right thing.......In my own opinion, I think she did not handle the situation well... before she started dating that guy or should I say agreed seeing him, she saw some potential in him... she hoped for a long term...

Yes her reason for rejecting the proposal was valid...Her fears well taken but her actions in public like that will cost something that could have been a good relationship assuming she was clever...The ability to think on your feet when pressured is a skill.... even the employers needed people like that...

Yes she has the right to decline the proposal in public but reasonable ladies can do that only when they don't see a future with the man in question...how can she decline marriage proposal in front of everyone including the camera and still want to stick with the same man after the humiliation... is that not insane?

If you like, carry out a random sampling of men here on this forum and ask them how many can still look at that lady the same way after the embarrassment if such were to happen to them and see their answers

GboyegaD:


Are you saying she should have accepted the proposal because it was made in public as that is what I'm inferring from your post?

DBestDoc:


I don’t think her decision to reject the proposal came from a place of wisdom. She may have made another mistake while trying to avoid future mistakes, except of course she doesn’t like the guy.
@ the part in bold is actually the reason for courtship and proposal is the first step to that.

She probably doesn’t know that courtship is the time to study one’s partner and if compatibility is questioned, both parties can part ways amicably.

Courtship is not same as marriage or sleeping together and nobody says you’re getting married the second you get engaged.

I for one do not fancy long Period of dating and courtship. For me, 6 months ( dating and courtship periods inclusive) is more than enough to get the little information you need to decide whether to move or stay and sign the dotted lines.

I think she’s still hung on the past and yet to sort her emotions out properly.

I wish her the best going forward.

Luak:
. Ladies in such situations will usually ask for time to think about it. If that was the case, then she should continue with the friendship while working hard inorder to give him an answer within the agreed timeline.

Richy4:


Yes..

GboyegaD:


Ok, that's what you feel and I can't dispute it however, for me she saved herself an unnecessary and avoidable headache.

@ bold but she still feels that the relationship has not ended after saving herself from the avoidable headache

crackhaus:
I'm not a fan of people who propose/get married within a few months of dating. It rings bells for me because I can't fathom how well you can know someone in so short a time enough to want to spend your entire life with them.

The lady did nothing wrong in refusing, and her reasons are valid.
If the guy really cares about her, he should take a step back and work on building a relationship with her without any pressure...

Billionsclub:
A friend of mine called me and told me what happened to her. this happened recently.
she is a single mother. she said she went to meet her boyfriend (not the father of her child) on an outing. As they were there, unknowingly to her, her boyfriend friends and their girl friends were all there. Before you know it, the guy knelt down and propose to her, they were recording, but my friend said she refused. according to her, her boyfriend was not happy. one of her boyfriend friends called her to ask her why she refused to accept the proposal and she told him the reason. according to her, she said she has only met the boy four times and they just started dating two months ago. in order words, it was too early for the boy to propose. after she explained all that happened, I told her she did the right thing. I also told her not to take the relationship serious because the boy may want to use her and dump her because of the embarrassment she gave him in public.
on a second thought, I felt a little bad because I might have given her the wrong advice.
should she continue the relationship or step out of the relationship because of the embarrassment she caused the guy by refusing to accept

Truvel:
Na Only God Know Wetin D Guy Go Don Tell Him Friends Dem B4 Him Propose. At 1st, D Girl Should Av Accepted D Proposal 4 D Sake Of People Gathering There & Save D Guy 4rm Embarassment. Maybe Latter Open Up Her Intention To Him. If Only She Knows What It Means 4 A Guy To Kneel To Propose To A Girl In Public, She Wouldn't Av Done What She Did. Honestly, Someone Like Me, I Can't Propose To Any Girl Kneeling In D Public. I Would Advise Dat She Begs Him 4 D Embarassment She Caused Him & If He Accepts & Wants D Relationship With Her To Continue, Fine.

Michelle55:

It's not how long you have known someone that determines how happy you will be together, it's how well and the compatibility that matters.

Does this person fulfill 60% of what she desires in her life?
Does he give her the peace of mind she deserve?
Is he supportive and understanding like a man should be?

If he checks in all these boxes then she can make up for the rest as times goes on, no one has it all and that's why we are imperfect.

Many has dated for years yet they didn't marry while some dated for few months and are striving together to keep their home front sailing.

We're all wired differently and it will show in the way we do things as well, grace differs too!

Let her decide what she wants and go for it, besides you can't know all about your partner in one sitting even if you date for decades, a lot about your partner will unfold during the course of your marriage that's where your level of tolerance, understanding and maturity will be tried.

Never forget, marriage itself is an institution where you will never graduate from because everyday that passes you learn new things about your partner and strive to be better for each other.

Get married to stay married!!

Billionsclub:
thanks for the your advice. she has ended the relationship