Please pardon my errors. It a long read, and I'm just typing. I might actually start my own diary after this

I'm a male in my early twenties schooing in the north the same state my parents Are based.
So aftery routine life in secondary school I found out I'm an introvert.
Life as much people would say for me has been boring, but to me it just normal
But here's the problem I just realized I'll soon be done with school and be on my own out there and I'll need other people.

This is coming after nagging form my mum after I refused to follow her to her burial Thanksgiving/ remembrance for a close relative of hers that died last year but they were inanle to do the whole extra stuffs cause of covid 19.
She came back hurt saying how I'm not useful to her, I don't go anywhere or represent her in anything or just go out. She went on and on and I get this cause I'm not the out going type but as the first male there this expectation everyone has from me which I just hate.

I stay home all day. I have my childhood friends whom I visit occasionally like once in three months some once in year during festive seasons. The friends I made in the universities I hardly call or stay in touch with if it not concerning school work. During the holidays I can spend the whole month online wasting data in different forums and Twitter. Watching series, anime, movies. Listing to music. Nothing tangible. I feel am lazy cause I have a procastination problem.

I have struggled with a sense of belonging after staying years in the north I still don't speak Hausa well. Neither do I speak Yoruba my language. well this has made it hard for me to mix apart from my childhood buds. Most people I meet insult me for living years in the north and not mastering their language at the same time I can't mix well with Yoruba guys cause they love to speak in the language so when I chip in something in English. It's just akward. I get called sule or aboki The few I'm close with are those we communicate with in English
I can be funny and a talkative and a very good listener but that just me in school like Im the your not serious kinda guy. I sometimes feel I fake cause Im always wearing a smile even in my deepest hurt. Except school work gatherings. I don't attend parties, meetings association stuff my friends sometimes get me to attend fellowship.

I really want to do all these things and sometimes enjoy them just I can't get myself to do them. I can't count the number of times ive dressed up to go out only for me to sit in the clothes I picked out and just wait for time to pass. I still get freaked out by people I'm close to there's was a time a close friend of mine was clebrating a birthday so they went to the eatery and the had a table outside and it was cool but I stopped just by the gate and turned back and went home or the time I told the bike to just keep driving pass the joint we were to meet and eventually told him to take me back to my hostel. My close friends have noticed this about me and don't get pissed when I make up flimsy excuses for not making it. Like Im sick or something.
In my church I'm not part of any group I used to be somewhat active, do some things here and there but presently I go to church once a month at most. my mother has given up quarreling that aspect. Even when I go I just sit and leave I hardly gist after service just share nods pleasantries the usual "senior man you don't scarce" you just they fresh and all that.

I honestly feel lost like I don't know what to do everyone seems to have figured life out and I'm just there allowing my life pass buy. I don't belong anywhere I don't have any very close friends I can share my grievance or joys with. The closest I get to one is my younger sis.

I feel if I don't get a hold of things together in time life might smack me hard and I won't be able to take it I nearly fell into depression during the lockdown cause everyone was at home at the same time and I felt miserable for no just cause
My issues are not real issues as most Nigerians would see it but it has bothered me for long.
What even drove this write up is.... am not social ,am not good at language, am not a geinus or even smart enough, I don't have connections. I procatinate learning valuable skills or online business or something tangible with my life. If I'm to work In My field of current study, human contact is inevitable. Most people already see me as proud or a snub and my value is dropping in my parents eyes cause they are sensing am a slacke.

I'm just tired honestly.

Gabe427:
Please pardon my errors. It a long read, and I'm just typing. I might actually start my own diary after this

I'm a male in my early twenties schooing in the north the same state my parents Are based.
So aftery routine life in secondary school I found out I'm an introvert.
Life as much people would say for me has been boring, but to me it just normal
But here's the problem I just realized I'll soon be done with school and be on my own out there and I'll need other people.

This is coming after nagging form my mum after I refused to follow her to her burial Thanksgiving/ remembrance for a close relative of hers that died last year but they were inanle to do the whole extra stuffs cause of covid 19.
She came back hurt saying how I'm not useful to her, I don't go anywhere or represent her in anything or just go out. She went on and on and I get this cause I'm not the out going type but as the first male there this expectation everyone has from me which I just hate.

I stay home all day. I have my childhood friends whom I visit occasionally like once in three months some once in year during festive seasons. The friends I made in the universities I hardly call or stay in touch with if it not concerning school work. During the holidays I can spend the whole month online wasting data in different forums and Twitter. Watching series, anime, movies. Listing to music. Nothing tangible. I feel am lazy cause I have a procastination problem.

I have struggled with a sense of belonging after staying years in the north I still don't speak Hausa well. Neither do I speak Yoruba my language. well this has made it hard for me to mix apart from my childhood buds. Most people I meet insult me for living years in the north and not mastering their language at the same time I can't mix well with Yoruba guys cause they love to speak in the language so when I chip in something in English. It's just akward. I get called sule or aboki The few I'm close with are those we communicate with in English
I can be funny and a talkative and a very good listener but that just me in school like Im the your not serious kinda guy. I sometimes feel I fake cause Im always wearing a smile even in my deepest hurt. Except school work gatherings. I don't attend parties, meetings association stuff my friends sometimes get me to attend fellowship.

I really want to do all these things and sometimes enjoy them just I can't get myself to do them. I can't count the number of times ive dressed up to go out only for me to sit in the clothes I picked out and just wait for time to pass. I still get freaked out by people I'm close to there's was a time a close friend of mine was clebrating a birthday so they went to the eatery and the had a table outside and it was cool but I stopped just by the gate and turned back and went home or the time I told the bike to just keep driving pass the joint we were to meet and eventually told him to take me back to my hostel. My close friends have noticed this about me and don't get pissed when I make up flimsy excuses for not making it. Like Im sick or something.
In my church I'm not part of any group I used to be somewhat active, do some things here and there but presently I go to church once a month at most. my mother has given up quarreling that aspect. Even when I go I just sit and leave I hardly gist after service just share nods pleasantries the usual "senior man you don't scarce" you just they fresh and all that.

I honestly feel lost like I don't know what to do everyone seems to have figured life out and I'm just there allowing my life pass buy. I don't belong anywhere I don't have any very close friends I can share my grievance or joys with. The closest I get to one is my younger sis.

I feel if I don't get a hold of things together in time life might smack me hard and I won't be able to take it I nearly fell into depression during the lockdown cause everyone was at home at the same time and I felt miserable for no just cause
My issues are not real issues as most Nigerians would see it but it has bothered me for long.
What even drove this write up is.... am not social ,am not good at language, am not a geinus or even smart enough, I don't have connections. I procatinate learning valuable skills or online business or something tangible with my life. If I'm to work In My field of current study, human contact is inevitable. Most people already see me as proud or a snub and my value is dropping in my parents eyes cause they are sensing am a slacke.

I'm just tired honestly.

Lollittaa my choco loco milo

So you wanna become extrovert or balance?

Jeon:


Lollittaa my choco loco milo

So you wanna become extrovert or balance?

I honestly didn't have a problem being an introvert. it was good for my academics plus I liked the fact that I'm a wild card. But seeingy situation I think I need a balance or have a set goal and plans I should work towards not just going anyhow life takes me

Get help please, go to any counselor or move closer to your parents. Go out on date, go to Cinema to watch movies especially comedy please

Ignore the above poster. It isn't a disease. I know people who are far worse. The answer is to own it. Become comfortable in your own skin to the point where you dont give a damn about what others say or think. That includes your parents. It's worse if they are extroverts, they can never understand. I'm also one but you won't know when I turn up at clubs & gatherings.

What you need to work on is the fear of talking to & meeting people. The rest would fall into place. Find bars,restaurants, cool spots, new places etc around you to go and chill. Make sure you talk to one or more person each day. Then find an understanding extrovert to be your wing man. A month is enough to make changes. You'll be alright. Work on your procastination though (sometimes you dont think & analyze, Just do it)

You no get wetin to think.

There was a time I bombed the introvert thread and told them that the kind of life they live is boring and annoying and they should make conscious efforts to change but na lie. They all came for me.

Today, I hate to answer to any label but bitter truth is, I was once an introvert. This has made me lose so many opportunities. Omo!

I won't allow my kid to become an introvert. Not saying anyone should be an extrovert but everyone can be an ambivert.

The way out is to stop doing all you have been doing.
Make conscious effort to learn yoruba.
Make friends, they don't have to be close to you.
Greet everyone you meet on your way everyday, either male, female, old or young.
When someone is saying something that interests you, chip in what you think.
Etc.

For most people, introversion is a very bad trait. Very very bad.

@Gabe427:

It is a weakness to let your weakness stop your quality of life.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert; I am one myself however, nothing will stop me from performing what I need to do per time.

If you have a function, attend it.
If you commitments, honor it. etc.

It is called growing up and getting mature.

Gabe427:

I honestly didn't have a problem being an introvert. it was good for my academics plus I liked the fact that I'm a wild card. But seeingy situation I think I need a balance or have a set goal and plans I should work towards not just going anyhow life takes me

Are u male or female?
If u are female, u shouldn't bother yourself!

Rubbiish:

Are u male or female?
If u are female, u shouldn't bother yourself!

Do u mind expantiating? I need to Know cos I am an introvert as well.

This is coming from an introvert who has almost all the attributes you listed there. You are doing yourself a great deal of harm for the future cos you can't rise beyond the circle of friends you keep. Everything in life is about connection either here or abroad someone will always introduce another person to an opportunity. So if you don't work on yourself now it will affect you in future. It affected me and still does so I don't like my kids to inherit this from me. Join a church group, make efforts to mix with your pals in school. Church connection is not all what you need the secular is also essential. Just take the steps you feel you want to take. Speak those languages you don't know they'll mock you especially those who think you are proud just blank your mind that whatever they say you won't allow it to get to you gradually you will see people warm towards you. If you want to be social you need to come out of that imaginary wall you have created around yourself

I think u should first stop seeing urself as"not good enough or not smart enough".

Most introverts I know are very smart , intelligent and diligent people, only that they don't really relate with people.

So push urself, attend occasions when u need to, take up more responsibilities at home, learn those online stuffs u need to learn , work on ur procrastination , attend conferences n fellowships n trust God to get better. U will be fine.

It is well my Brother

We are almost alike, but it's just that I have more friends than you.

Gabe427:

I honestly didn't have a problem being an introvert. it was good for my academics plus I liked the fact that I'm a wild card. But seeingy situation I think I need a balance or have a set goal and plans I should work towards not just going anyhow life takes me

What is that one thing you're very good at?
That thing that gets you excited the most...

Be wasting your formative years and be listening to rubbish and be tagging yourself as an introvert..

Continue to live your life on social media

Get a life


This is your time to network



When you slab the whole width and breath of your state of residence looking for a job when you are back from NYSC your opolo eyes go open well

Na your type go dey give our girls toxic headaches when finally discover the females

Gabe427:
Please pardon my errors. It a long read, and I'm just typing. I might actually start my own diary after this

I'm a male in my early twenties schooing in the north the same state my parents Are based.
So aftery routine life in secondary school I found out I'm an introvert.
Life as much people would say for me has been boring, but to me it just normal
But here's the problem I just realized I'll soon be done with school and be on my own out there and I'll need other people.

This is coming after nagging form my mum after I refused to follow her to her burial Thanksgiving/ remembrance for a close relative of hers that died last year but they were inanle to do the whole extra stuffs cause of covid 19.
She came back hurt saying how I'm not useful to her, I don't go anywhere or represent her in anything or just go out. She went on and on and I get this cause I'm not the out going type but as the first male there this expectation everyone has from me which I just hate.

I stay home all day. I have my childhood friends whom I visit occasionally like once in three months some once in year during festive seasons. The friends I made in the universities I hardly call or stay in touch with if it not concerning school work. During the holidays I can spend the whole month online wasting data in different forums and Twitter. Watching series, anime, movies. Listing to music. Nothing tangible. I feel am lazy cause I have a procastination problem.

I have struggled with a sense of belonging after staying years in the north I still don't speak Hausa well. Neither do I speak Yoruba my language. well this has made it hard for me to mix apart from my childhood buds. Most people I meet insult me for living years in the north and not mastering their language at the same time I can't mix well with Yoruba guys cause they love to speak in the language so when I chip in something in English. It's just akward. I get called sule or aboki The few I'm close with are those we communicate with in English
I can be funny and a talkative and a very good listener but that just me in school like Im the your not serious kinda guy. I sometimes feel I fake cause Im always wearing a smile even in my deepest hurt. Except school work gatherings. I don't attend parties, meetings association stuff my friends sometimes get me to attend fellowship.

I really want to do all these things and sometimes enjoy them just I can't get myself to do them. I can't count the number of times ive dressed up to go out only for me to sit in the clothes I picked out and just wait for time to pass. I still get freaked out by people I'm close to there's was a time a close friend of mine was clebrating a birthday so they went to the eatery and the had a table outside and it was cool but I stopped just by the gate and turned back and went home or the time I told the bike to just keep driving pass the joint we were to meet and eventually told him to take me back to my hostel. My close friends have noticed this about me and don't get pissed when I make up flimsy excuses for not making it. Like Im sick or something.
In my church I'm not part of any group I used to be somewhat active, do some things here and there but presently I go to church once a month at most. my mother has given up quarreling that aspect. Even when I go I just sit and leave I hardly gist after service just share nods pleasantries the usual "senior man you don't scarce" you just they fresh and all that.

I honestly feel lost like I don't know what to do everyone seems to have figured life out and I'm just there allowing my life pass buy. I don't belong anywhere I don't have any very close friends I can share my grievance or joys with. The closest I get to one is my younger sis.

I feel if I don't get a hold of things together in time life might smack me hard and I won't be able to take it I nearly fell into depression during the lockdown cause everyone was at home at the same time and I felt miserable for no just cause
My issues are not real issues as most Nigerians would see it but it has bothered me for long.
What even drove this write up is.... am not social ,am not good at language, am not a geinus or even smart enough, I don't have connections. I procatinate learning valuable skills or online business or something tangible with my life. If I'm to work In My field of current study, human contact is inevitable. Most people already see me as proud or a snub and my value is dropping in my parents eyes cause they are sensing am a slacke.

I'm just tired honestly.

you are normal, very normal. I have seen core introvert, your own is even small. What I would say is try use your spare time for positive things like ICT.

ashatoda:
This is coming from an introvert who has almost all the attributes you listed there. You are doing yourself a great deal of harm for the future cos you can't rise beyond the circle of friends you keep. Everything in life is about connection either here or abroad someone will always introduce another person to an opportunity. So if you don't work on yourself now it will affect you in future. It affected me and still does so I don't like my kids to inherit this from me. Join a church group, make efforts to mix with your pals in school. Church connection is not all what you need the secular is also essential. Just take the steps you feel you want to take. Speak those languages you don't know they'll mock you especially those who think you are proud just blank your mind that whatever they say you won't allow it to get to you gradually you will see people warm towards you. If you want to be social you need to come out of that imaginary wall you have created around yourself

God bless you.

jesmond3945:
you are normal, very normal. I have seen core introvert, your own is even small. What I would say is try use your spare time for positive things like ICT.

He's not, he's not close to normal.

mariahAngel:


What is that one thing you're very good at?
That thing that gets you excited the most...

Very good at nothing ....I've started a lot of things but I just loose interest i start things but just when I sense I'll jam rock i just back out even if things are actually still going good I just quit or loose interest

Thank y'all for the inputs some were brutally honest but it just might have been what I needed ..... So far I've been able to draw a pattern from the comments and I've decided to take necessary steps ....still lazy baby steps but I promise I would update with a testimony