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Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 - Travel (464) - Nairaland

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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:18am On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:




Contact him again...and tell him what you want to do
Hear what he has to say
All will mostly be lies Sha
Contact his parents... about what you are about to do ....
His parents are in the know that is why dey are acting up ...then if they don't bulge .....hahahaha there are different ways to kill an animal.
Just make sure you do due diligence.. because we are still Africans and culture is still an important aspect of our life
His parents are not even saying anything at the moment, telling me to keep playing that they’ve not been able to reach him also but I know it’s a lie, cause their body countenance says other wise, they seem relaxed unlike parents that won’t hear from their child in months. How do I get concrete evidence against him that will make him confess and appropriate authorities to reach out too. He will be done with school in less than 4months.

2 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:19am On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
His parents are not even saying anything at the moment, telling me to keep playing that they’ve not been able to reach him also but I know it’s a lie, cause their body countenance says other wise, they seem relaxed unlike parents that won’t hear from their child in months. How do I get concrete evidence against him that will make him confess and appropriate authorities to reach out too. He will be done with school in less than 4months.
What are the ways and best approach towards this issue
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Anndav(f): 11:20am On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
I tried to send emails but it’s not delivering, what can I do? How is it possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also be married in Canada? How do I get concrete evidence against him since I have not been able to reach him and the right authorities to reach out to. Please help!!

S
Dis guys do it
And a lot of life has been mess up
At least his parents is aware of all his dealing so if he is cutting of
He sure has a way of reaching his parents
Tell them u are about to take some steps Pon the matter
First ensure he is really married in Canada Sha ...
Den they will get it across to him

Na him go call you self
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by oluayebenz: 11:22am On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:


I have a sister In my church whose life was mess up big time because of all these migration to abroad at all cost

Everytime I see dis lady I pity her she is a shadow of herself with her son who is 8 years and has not heard his father's voice before

It's so bad that the church will not even advise remarriage as long as the first husband is alive...they only advise her to keep on praying...that God will bring her husband back

What a life... honestly I wonder the desperation to relocate that will enable u dump ur wife and kids why marry at all in the first place .. is looking for Greener pasture not to improve the quality of life for ur family?

If a lot of woman has taken the bull by the horn to handle the matter without unnecessary emotional...dis act will have stop long before now

Sad sad
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:26am On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:


S
Dis guys do it
And a lot of life has been mess up
At least his parents is aware of all his dealing so if he is cutting of
He sure has a way of reaching his parents
Tell them u are about to take some steps Pon the matter
First ensure he is really married in Canada Sha ...
Den they will get it across to him

Na him go call you self
What kind of steps should I tell them I want to take? And How do I verify information, since I am in Nigeria not in Canada and make my husband come clean regarding the information on ground.
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:28am On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:




Contact him again...and tell him what you want to do
Hear what he has to say
All will mostly be lies Sha
Contact his parents... about what you are about to do ....
His parents are in the know that is why dey are acting up ...then if they don't bulge .....hahahaha there are different ways to kill an animal.
Just make sure you do due diligence.. because we are still Africans and culture is still an important aspect of our life
What steps should I take to make sure I get to the truth of his matter, please I would like to know the different ways to kill an animal in this issue,
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by oluayebenz: 11:29am On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
I tried to send emails but it’s not delivering, what can I do? How is it possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also be married in Canada? How do I get concrete evidence against him since I have not been able to reach him and the right authorities to reach out to. Please help!!

I understand the feelings madam but please be calm with the situation.

We all know your husband is alive and fine over there, be calm and try figure out what the problem is, do not contact any authorities yet.

I'm sure you won't like to see him got deported

4 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by oluayebenz: 11:30am On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
I Have been quiet for months, wondering what is going on, I tried sending a mail to back but it hasn’t been delivering? Is it possible to be legally married in Nigeria and also marry in Canada, please who are the appropriate authorities I can reach out to. I need help

Yes very possible
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Anndav(f): 11:37am On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
What kind of steps should I tell them I want to take? And How do I verify information, since I am in Nigeria not in Canada and make my husband come clean regarding the information on ground.

Contact his parents... telling them you are about to inform IRCC of his crimes and you don't care what happens...that will set them on the edge ..they will either tell him or try to persuade him themselves u could Inform ur parents too ... something to rat him out
Or talk to someone that is his confidant....
No one is an Ireland....
But did he answer yes to married on his visa application?.....and is dis marriage properly done with parental presence ...dis is one of the things that can help ur case

2 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:45am On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:


Contact his parents... telling them you are about to inform IRCC of his crimes and you don't care what happens...that will set them on the edge ..they will either tell him or try to persuade him themselves u could Inform ur parents too ... something to rat him out
Or talk to someone that is his confidant....
No one is an Ireland....
But did he answer yes to married on his visa application?.....and is dis marriage properly done with parental presence ...dis is one of the things that can help ur case
Yes the marriage was properly done, legally and traditionally. They are evidences to that effect. I am just wondering how possible it is to married in Nigeria legally and also be married in Canada legally. Or did he file for a fake divorce certificate without my knowledge. Please I need directions on how to go about this or the appropriate bodies
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:46am On Jun 04, 2021
oluayebenz:


Yes very possible
So what can I do and how do I get to the root of this matter?
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 11:50am On Jun 04, 2021
oluayebenz:


I understand the feelings madam but please be calm with the situation.

We all know your husband is alive and fine over there, be calm and try figure out what the problem is, do not contact any authorities yet.

I'm sure you won't like to see him got deported
But he hasn’t been communicating with me for months, his parents no information from them. So what do I do?
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Anndav(f): 12:28pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
Yes the marriage was properly done, legally and traditionally. They are evidences to that effect. I am just wondering how possible it is to married in Nigeria legally and also be married in Canada legally. Or did he file for a fake divorce certificate without my knowledge. Please I need directions on how to go about this or the appropriate bodies

Canada's authority is not the first
You will run into error
What of if u are wrong and he only has a live in lover and they are not yet married
Do ur finding as I have advised you first

1 Like

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by ednut1(m): 12:49pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
But he hasn’t been communicating with me for months, his parents no information from them. So what do I do?
wahala be like bicycle. He clearly did not fill his marital status in his student visa application for him to have move on with the other lady. Two options- move on with your life, annull the wedding or report him to Canadian authorities ( which means deportation last last).

2 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 1:00pm On Jun 04, 2021
ednut1:
wahala be like bicycle. He clearly did not fill his marital status in his student visa application for him to have move on with the other lady. Two options- move on with your life, annull the wedding or report him to Canadian authorities ( which means deportation last last).
What if he submitted fake divorce documents to the authorities without my knowledge? That’s one of my fears. I just want to know how I can get to the bottom of all of this! Should I send a mail to IRCC or what?
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 1:03pm On Jun 04, 2021
Anndav:


Canada's authority is not the first
You will run into error
What of if u are wrong and he only has a live in lover and they are not yet married
Do ur finding as I have advised you first
How will I run into an error? I just feel i should be abreast of whatever is going on and carried along regardless of any plan or he would have come out truthfully and let me know what’s going on. I am also worried he might have submitted fake divorce documents without my knowledge.
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by ednut1(m): 1:12pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
What if he submitted fake divorce documents to the authorities without my knowledge? That’s one of my fears. I just want to know how I can get to the bottom of all of this! Should I send a mail to IRCC or what?
unfortunately you don't know what exactly is going on, like someone said they may just be live in lovers and not married. Only your husband can tell you what is really going on. The guy self no get sense, he will likely end up in 9ja after all this nonsense unless you move on.
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 1:27pm On Jun 04, 2021
ednut1:
unfortunately you don't know what exactly is going on, like someone said they may just be live in lovers and not married. Only your husband can tell you what is really going on. The guy self no get sense, he will likely end up in 9ja after all this nonsense unless you move on.
That’s my pain, I wish he can be opened and honest with me and tell me what exactly is going on! I’m even worried he might have even submitted fake divorce documents without my knowledge, I have been quiet for months thinking maybe it’s the struggles abroad and he will be done with school in less than 4months. I just want to know how I can navigate this issue, In order to get the truth and stop been in the dark like I have been for months
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by YesLadyN: 1:29pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
But he hasn’t been communicating with me for months, his parents no information from them. So what do I do?

Sorry about your distressing situation. In all of these, try to keep your head above water. First, gather the evidences that you have that prove the following:
1. The legality of your marriage
2. Your efforts to establish contact with your husband
3. Lack of communication from your husband
4. The presence of another woman

Then you may do the following:
1. Tell him you want to get a lawyer who would write IRCC about the evidence you’ve gathered. He may call your bluff or he may be forced to reach out to you with explanations. Either ways, this likely won’t address the core of the issue.
2. Consult with your parents to review steps 1-4 above. They may call a family meeting with your in-laws, and depending on how firm/soft your family is, they may find excuses for your husband’s actions, and you may be urged to exercise more patience till he’s done with school (you know how our culture tends to heap the success of a marriage more on the woman). On the other hand, your in-laws may be served an ultimatum.

2. Lawyer up. The evidences will be reviewed and he/she will advise you on further steps to take especially if it’s proven that he is another union. Your lawyer may write to IRCC if marital fraud has occurred, that’s if you wouldn’t mind your husband being deported. Indeed, hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.

3. I hope you still have a marriage.

I wish you peace sis.

7 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Kenn55: 1:51pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
His parents are not even saying anything at the moment, telling me to keep playing that they’ve not been able to reach him also but I know it’s a lie, cause their body countenance says other wise, they seem relaxed unlike parents that won’t hear from their child in months. How do I get concrete evidence against him that will make him confess and appropriate authorities to reach out too. He will be done with school in less than 4months.

This is what I think.
1. He could have dropped out of school which will make him an illegal immigrant and not qualified for a post graduate work permit. There is no way someone who is a legal student will worry about immigration after school cos there are enough pathways to get permanent residency after school.
If he has dropped out, the only option he has is to try marriage to a citizen to prevent deportation.

2. If he did not drop out, then he never loved you. Probably he is looking for a way out of the marriage and see this as an opportunity to end it. His thinking may be that he can frustrate you to the extent that you quit the marriage on your own.
If this is the case, then I think the confidence to behave this way may be that he filled out he is single during the Visa application.
However what he does not know is that Canada has a soft spot for women and you can finish his career if you have the concrete evidence

But if I may ask, how long has he been in Canada and when did he start acting this way? Was everything good initially?

10 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 1:52pm On Jun 04, 2021
YesLadyN:


Sorry about your distressing situation. In all of these, try to keep your head above water. First, gather the evidences that you have that prove the following:
1. The legality of your marriage
2. Your efforts to establish contact with your husband
3. Lack of communication from your husband
4. The presence of another woman

Then you may do the following:
1. Tell him you want to get a lawyer who would write IRCC about the evidence you’ve gathered. He may call your bluff or he may be forced to reach out to you with explanations. Either ways, this likely won’t address the core of the issue.
2. Consult with your parents to review steps 1-4 above. They may call a family meeting with your in-laws, and depending on how firm/soft your family is, they may find excuses for your husband’s actions, and you may be urged to exercise more patience till he’s done with school (you know how our culture tends to heap the success of a marriage more on the woman). On the other hand, your in-laws may be served an ultimatum.

2. Lawyer up. The evidences will be reviewed and he/she will advise you on further steps to take especially if it’s proven that he is another union. Your lawyer may write to IRCC if marital fraud has occurred, that’s if you wouldn’t mind your husband being deported. Indeed, hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.

3. I hope you still have a marriage.

I wish you peace sis.
Thank you so much for these tips. It’s just actually unfair that something this huge is going on and I and my family are left in the dark and can jeopardize my own future also cause I don’t know what is exactly going on, just at the crossed roads with no communication whatsoever. Which had a great toll me cause I was worried thinking something must have happened especially in a new country. How do I establish he has a partner there, I only have copies of the threatening mails I have been receiving but whenever I try to respond the email/messages doesn’t deliver, I remember prior to when he stopped communicating with me, he told me to remove his name and pictures on all my social media handles, when I asked him his reasons he told me not to worry, then he went ghost on me!
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Godisincontrol: 1:52pm On Jun 04, 2021
University of Alberta Botanical Garden

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Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 1:58pm On Jun 04, 2021
Kenn55:


This is what I think.
1. He could have dropped out of school which will make him an illegal immigrant and not qualified for a post graduate work permit. There is no way someone who is a legal student will worry about immigration after school cos there are enough pathways to get permanent residency after school.
If he has dropped out, the only option he has is to try marriage to a citizen to prevent deportation.

2. If he did not drop out, then he never loved you. Probably he is looking for a way out of the marriage and see this as an opportunity to end it. His thinking may be that he can frustrate you to the extent that you quit the marriage on your own.
If this is the case, then I think the confidence to behave this way may be that he filled out he is single during the Visa application.
However what he does not know is that Canada has a soft spot for women and you can finish his career if you have the concrete evidence

But if I may ask, how long has he been in Canada and when did he start acting this way? Was everything good initially?
I don’t even know if he has dropped out of school, cause I remembered vividly he was always complaining of all the money he makes from working goes to school fees, always complaining about money and he told me he found ways of working more hours than the stipulated 20hours assigned to students, I was even worried he might get into trouble but he told me he knows how to navigate it and he won’t get into trouble. He wasn’t like this oo, everything changed at the beginning of this year. But how do I establish the fact that he has a lady over there? Copies of the mails received enough. I want him or his family members to come clean to me on what is going on so I can plan my life also and know what’s next. I am someone’s child too and this is depressing!

4 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 2:05pm On Jun 04, 2021
Kenn55:


This is what I think.
1. He could have dropped out of school which will make him an illegal immigrant and not qualified for a post graduate work permit. There is no way someone who is a legal student will worry about immigration after school cos there are enough pathways to get permanent residency after school.
If he has dropped out, the only option he has is to try marriage to a citizen to prevent deportation.

2. If he did not drop out, then he never loved you. Probably he is looking for a way out of the marriage and see this as an opportunity to end it. His thinking may be that he can frustrate you to the extent that you quit the marriage on your own.
If this is the case, then I think the confidence to behave this way may be that he filled out he is single during the Visa application.
However what he does not know is that Canada has a soft spot for women and you can finish his career if you have the concrete evidence

But if I may ask, how long has he been in Canada and when did he start acting this way? Was everything good initially?
I have no idea if he has dropped out, but he was always complaining that all the money he makes from working goes to his school fees and he had to also retake some courses. He told me he found ways of working more than the stipulated hours assigned to students, I was even worried that he might get into trouble, but he told me not to worry that there are ways to navigate it without getting into trouble. No he wasn’t like this initially, this whole thing started this year and he is meant to finish school in less than four months. I only have copies of the threatening mails is that enough evidence to build a case? I just want him and his family to come clean to me so I know the best way forward not when I am left in the dark, no communication whatsoever and I am legally and traditionally married to him, I am even more worried what if he has fake divorce documents without my knowledge. I need help honestly, please this is depressing
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by phabulous88(m): 2:08pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
I don’t even know if he has dropped out of school, cause I remembered vividly he was always complaining of all the money he makes from working goes to school fees, always complaining about money and he told me he found ways of working more hours than the stipulated 20hours assigned to students, I was even worried he might get into trouble but he told me he knows how to navigate it and he won’t get into trouble. He wasn’t like this oo, everything changed at the beginning of this year. But how do I establish the fact that he has a lady over there? Copies of the mails received enough. I want him or his family members to come clean to me on what is going on so I can plan my life also and know what’s next. I am someone’s child too and this is depressing!

Let me backtrack, when did you guys get married? How long is his program of study in Canada? When did he travel?

4 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by YesLadyN: 2:11pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
Thank you so much for these tips. It’s just actually unfair that something this huge is going on and I and my family are left in the dark and can jeopardize my own future also cause I don’t know what is exactly going on, just at the crossed roads with no communication whatsoever. Which had a great toll me cause I was worried thinking something must have happened especially in a new country. How do I establish he has a partner there, I only have copies of the threatening mails I have been receiving but whenever I try to respond the email/messages doesn’t deliver, I remember prior to when he stopped communicating with me, he told me to remove his name and pictures on all my social media handles, when I asked him his reasons he told me not to worry, then he went ghost on me!

Red flags everywhere in his actions.

The threatening emails are enough evidence to start an investigation with. He could even be the one sending the emails so you can back off from the marriage and move on. Who knows. Whatever his reasons for going blank on you, he’s being very half-wise and he’s equally jeopardizing his stay in Canada.

If all efforts to reach him have proven abortive, then you can move to plan B in my earlier response to you. So sorry.

6 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 2:30pm On Jun 04, 2021
YesLadyN:


Red flags everywhere in his actions.

The threatening emails are enough evidence to start an investigation with. He could even be the one sending the emails so you can back off from the marriage and move on. Who knows. Whatever his reasons for going blank on you, he’s being very half-wise and he’s equally jeopardizing his stay in Canada.

If all efforts to reach him have proven abortive, then you can move to plan B in my earlier response to you. So sorry.
You are right he might be the one, I know prior to all these things happening, he was complaining about all the money he makes going to his school fees and he told me he found ways to work more than the stipulated hours assigned to students, I was even worried for him but he told me not to fear that he has everything sorted out and I shouldn’t worry about immigration finding out he worked more hours and he is meant to finish school in less than 4months. Everything automatically changed this year, at least if I am aware of what’s going we would arrive at a common ground, not when I am been left in dark. It’s depressing to be very honest!

2 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Amakaoyekachi1: 2:32pm On Jun 04, 2021
phabulous88:


Let me backtrack, when did you guys get married? How long is his program of study in Canada? When did he travel?
He is meant to finish his program in less than four months from now
Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Kenn55: 2:50pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
I have no idea if he has dropped out, but he was always complaining that all the money he makes from working goes to his school fees and he had to also retake some courses. He told me he found ways of working more than the stipulated hours assigned to students, I was even worried that he might get into trouble, but he told me not to worry that there are ways to navigate it without getting into trouble. No he wasn’t like this initially, this whole thing started this year and he is meant to finish school in less than four months. I only have copies of the threatening mails is that enough evidence to build a case? I just want him and his family to come clean to me so I know the best way forward not when I am left in the dark, no communication whatsoever and I am legally and traditionally married to him, I am even more worried what if he has fake divorce documents without my knowledge. I need help honestly, please this is depressing

It is obvious he has been struggling with finances and school. However, the extent to which it affected his current behavior is still to be determined

I think he unblocks you when he need to send you messages but blocks you afterwards. I think you have enough to build a case and you shouldn't worry about fake divorce documents because it helps your case to deal with him.


I will say give him more time preferably 4 months to finish his school. I know this is difficult but you have to be seen as have done everything humanly possible to remedy the situation before you act. During this period, keep trying to communicate, talk to his parents etc. You can create new profiles and emails to reach him and see if he blocks that one too. Keep documenting the evidences .

It is possible he may realize himself and come back to you or continue in his way. If nothing happens at the end, you can decide how to deal with him.

For someone like me, I give people benefit of doubt and I'm very slow to fight, I make sure I exhaust all options and patience and then when I fight, I fight to destroy, finish and things will never remain the same for the opponent. This is because when I start, even the air we breathe and ground we match will bear me witness that I have tried.

14 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Richdee1(m): 2:51pm On Jun 04, 2021
Wahala be like Migration, e dey hard to Secure

This is really a wrong step your legally married husband took

From your write-up, In ma own opinion,
I feel he's dropped out of school which would make him illegal, then getting married to the lady which would certify his stay in Canada or

he's still a student, met this said lady, reported back to his parents and they agreed on him marrying her, he then kept you outta the blues and want you to move on and forget him and your kids because he thinks he will achieve his aim

His parents knows what's going on, but pretends as if nothing is happening

All this moves are all silly,
If he wanted you to come to Canada with the kids, he would have completed his program, get job in his field and would be able to file for PR. I know foriegn student has 2 years after school to look for job that would make them be able to file for PR


Mehn! Just take it easy, gets all your facts and evidence rights before taking any step

I'm so sorry for what you're going through!

Mehn this is sad

2 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by phabulous88(m): 3:36pm On Jun 04, 2021
Amakaoyekachi1:
He is meant to finish his program in less than four months from now

Yea you mentioned.
My question is, when did you guys get married? And when did he travel back to Canada?

6 Likes

Re: Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 by Wishlist: 3:55pm On Jun 04, 2021
The Indabosky, the war, the liquid metal, the lion grin grin
Kenn55:


If nothing happens at the end, you can decide how to deal with him.

For someone like me, I give people benefit of doubt and I'm very slow to fight, I make sure I exhaust all options and patience and then when I fight, I fight to destroy, finish and things will never remain the same for the opponent. This is because when I start, even the air we breathe and ground we match will bear me witness that I have tried.

6 Likes

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