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What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by AmazonTopaz(f): 4:41pm On Jun 14, 2021
Klass99:


Amazon T, on the beat again.

You had me nodding my head in agreement and smiling from my memory of you on Zedegit's thread - you know the one I'm talking about, abi? grin

Seven blessings to you.

Amen cheesy and you too.

Thanks

6 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by crackhaus: 5:07pm On Jun 14, 2021
descarado:
Very toxic woman.
This may be fictional anyway. Couldn't bring myself to read till the end.

Wonder what people see as modernity. When you can't bridle your tongue.

After series of insult, u turn around to say you don't mean it. Seriously? shocked

All these woke ladies should understand one thing. Even the West they normally use as example. One golden rule towards men.
Respect. Know when to keep your mouth shut.
Know that a man lives by his pride. Men all over the world( forget Hollywood) love simple respect from their ladies. That is how nature wired them.

I'm not religious but I can relate with the story of Esther very well.
She was married to a king. So she should be a powerful woman. A wicked man among the King's men was treating her people bad. There are so many ways she should have dealt with that man but she didn't.
What did she do?
She prepared a feast for the king, invited him and the man for the feast and as they were making merry, (WHEN THE KING'S HEART WAS SOFT), When the opportunity came for her to exercise her power, she went for the jugular.
Did this make her inferior, no but a very brave and powerful woman who has her husband under her armpit.
Look at how she made her husband do the job without hurting his pride as a man yet she was the master planner.

Chochocho will never draw you close to your man. I'm always right is an attack to your man's pride.

Gentle and subtle disposition makes you the queen of your house and your man will be your slave. Go and learn the tricks.


I come in peace o.
gringrin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Biglittlelois(f): 5:11pm On Jun 14, 2021
This thread ehn, I see two conquered self esteemed, insecure females chiding Op only and absorbing the husband of any blame instead of apportioning advice to both of them cos none is blameless, I don't want to be petty, if not I would have attacked one of the "sanctimonious two" starting from who she is, but then.......

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by renew4life: 5:28pm On Jun 14, 2021
Nothing is Impossible with Prayers ....

1 Like

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by jayyem(m): 5:28pm On Jun 14, 2021
My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.

Work on the paragraph above and you are good to go.

5 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Rossy12(f): 5:31pm On Jun 14, 2021
marriage palava!!
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by pyyxxaro: 6:24pm On Jun 14, 2021
A woman that’s a talkative during courtship, wud be worse when she’s married .. there’s no faking it ... the man did bad to beat her shaa .... Men love respect alot, when a man doesn’t get , it torments him... the man shud also respect his wife and talk calmly to her .. women are not really difficult, just tell them what they need to hear , they wud relax ... But truth be told , some ladies are something else oh ... my guy wife don torment my guy reach were, e get the way she go shout for the guy ehn, my guy go bust cry embarassed Women strong oh

7 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by bukatyne(f): 7:18pm On Jun 14, 2021
RealNakupenda:
What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise

Good morning Ma. I’m so sorry to slide to your inbox like this but I’m confused at the moment. It seems my marriage is over!

We’ve been married for about 5 years now but it’s either we’re not compatible or my husband doesn’t just seem to want to understand me.

We’ve had quarrels like every other regular couple and I’ve tried to adjust and understand him but why does it seem as if I’m the only one working to keep the marriage?

My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.


So recently I was trying to make a deal for us and I told him about this only for him to get angry, when I noticed the harsh tune in his voice I told him to forget it, then he started keeping malice with me that evening. He usually loves malice like no man’s business.

The next day I made food and called him to eat so that I could calmly talk things over with him only for him to ignore me, I was so angry and started voicing out toxic words from my mouth, we quarreled a bit and he left. He came back later that day when I was out and our main gate was locked, I called his line severally he didn’t pick up, I even sent text message, no way.

My neighbor later opened for me after persistently knocking. I was so angry when I got into the house because I observed he was avoiding me and I removed the gate key from his bunch of keys and even tried to express my displeasure at him, he continued ignoring me, then I was insulted him that’s when he responded angrily at me and hit me.

I was shocked because this has never happened before and I know that my husband detests hitting a woman. He walked out of the bedroom and I slept off only to wake me up at night and he apologized and things seemed a bit okay but I was still very hurt.

Later in the day he called me asking for the gate key because I think he was stranded outside and I responded to him that he’s feeling stranded outside the way I was yesterday and hope he understands how I felt also it’s not his right to keep that gate key like his prized possession it’s for both of us, I only left it for him out of respect that he’s the husband but if when he’s angry he cannot make a life saving decision then it’s not fair.

I didn’t actually say it like this verbatim but that’s what I meant. So you know this man felt so ‘insulted’ and started threatening to break up our marriage? And that if I was home with him he would have taught me a lesson?

I tried explaining myself better to him through calls because I was on night duty at work only for him to continue raining insults at me. I was so shocked and had to cut off his calls because it seems we were heading no where.

And I’m like why does it feel as if once we have issues this guy forgets trying to resolve them instead he starts painting me out as a bad person?

I’m not 100%perfect but it doesn’t mean I hate him because we have quarrels.

Now from the way he was even talking yesterday I didn’t recognize the man I got married to any longer. He was saying that I didn’t have remorse for responding to him when he confronted me for taking the key so it means I’m trying to drag headship position as man with him because I’ve contributed financially to the home and I’m like that’s false and a big misunderstanding. I

collected the key from him when I was angry for being locked out of the house, he settled with me at night, the next morning I woke up late and hurriedly left for work and was on night duty so it wasn’t like it was intentional to actually punish him but no o! He said because I didn’t apologize or show remorse when he first called me about the key so our marriage is over, he even used threatening words and I’m like isn’t this over board and out of proportion?

Does it mean that every time I have an issue with my husband I’m now evil?

He doesn’t even seem to care that his actions made me angry. Why?

This has been one major issue with our marriage and I’ve talked and talked about this, if I’m offensive to him in any way he should tell me calmly and I’ll apologize but if he tells me with a harsh tune I may end up being defensive. In fact I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m totally fed up!

If he feels that the marriage is over I wish him well. I won’t fight with him neither will I argue because I called him severally last night trying to make peace but he threw it out on my face. I even told him that if truly he was trying to make peace the other night why not still stand on the side of peace and hear me out?

I’m not dragging headship position with you and everything I’ve sacrificed for our home I think of it as building up our home but instead he kept on ranting insults at me and I’m like what really is happening here?

Why does it always seem that if u express myself to this man and tell him the truth he twists it and sees it from his own side and sticks by it. This happens every time.

I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

SOURCE : I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

All these cut and paste stories sef, how do we get answers.

I glanced through the OP, and was amused that the wife said her husband doesn't understand her. You both are different sides of the same coin.

Well, both parties do not understand themselves and I am curious to know how they agreed enough to get married.

Just to make something clear: this is not a classic case of domestic violence because fists are involved.

It is the both of you fighting with the weapons you know how to use: wife (her mouth) and husband (his fists). The woman is not a victim of anything here.

I think if both parties would go to the drawing board (especially the wife), the marriage can be salvaged.

4 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by bukatyne(f): 7:21pm On Jun 14, 2021
descarado:
Very toxic woman.
This may be fictional anyway. Couldn't bring myself to read till the end.

Wonder what people see as modernity. When you can't bridle your tongue.

After series of insult, u turn around to say you don't mean it. Seriously? shocked

All these woke ladies should understand one thing. Even the West they normally use as example. One golden rule towards men.
Respect. Know when to keep your mouth shut.
Know that a man lives by his pride. Men all over the world( forget Hollywood) love simple respect from their ladies. That is how nature wired them.

I'm not religious but I can relate with the story of Esther very well.
She was married to a king. So she should be a powerful woman. A wicked man among the King's men was treating her people bad. There are so many ways she should have dealt with that man but she didn't.
What did she do?
She prepared a feast for the king, invited him and the man for the feast and as they were making merry, (WHEN THE KING'S HEART WAS SOFT), When the opportunity came for her to exercise her power, she went for the jugular.
Did this make her inferior, no but a very brave and powerful woman who has her husband under her armpit.
Look at how she made her husband do the job without hurting his pride as a man yet she was the master planner.

Chochocho will never draw you close to your man. I'm always right is an attack to your man's pride.

Gentle and subtle disposition makes you the queen of your house and your man will be your slave. Go and learn the tricks.


I come in peace o.

cheesy

Hahahahahaha! @ forget Hollywood.

Let's invite them to K-drama, shall we? tongue

They know how to depict mutual love, submission, loyalty, dedication, passion, respect and all the works.


@bold:

It took me a while to understand Esther and it was an epiphany when I did. When I was much younger, I 'preferred' Deborah and thought her 'stronger' or 'more useful/active'.

1 Like

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by descarado: 7:53pm On Jun 14, 2021
bukatyne:


cheesy

Hahahahahaha! @ forget Hollywood.

Let's invite them to K-drama, shall we? tongue

They know how to depict mutual love, submission, loyalty, dedication, passion, respect and all the works.


@bold:

It took me a while to understand Esther and it was an epiphany when I did. When I was much younger, I 'preferred' Deborah and thought her 'stronger' or 'more useful/active'.


My sister, I tire for we modern women.

I can argue, I have my right, we are equal, I agree o but, can we change nature?
Nope.
Rather, let's use what we have to get what we don't have. We don't have equal strength. We can't even consume the same number of calories per day. Men are naturally wired to consume more.
Put that pride in your pocket and see your man change and worship you.
Divorce never favour women. Especially here.
Use your tongue to count your teeth.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Saintmary(f): 8:22pm On Jun 14, 2021
AmazonTopaz:


I don't understand you people oo.Why must it always fall on the woman why do you women like to absorb men of their own fair share of mistakes

If she is dealing with an ego maniac it should not be in her place to change it should be on the man.Every human has ego we should all curtail it had it been the man shouting at her or talking back you won't tell him to calm down and give her the respect she deserves.
If she is the breadwinner of the home the husband should adjust suck up his pride respect himself the advice should go to both parties and not one side alone.

There should be mutual understanding all these submission advice doesn't cut it at all nobody should be a doormat I can't be making money and you will think it is your right to also dictate to me as well on how to spend it.

You shouldn't have married him if you can't tolerate his egomania.

It's either you manage him, or you leave him.

Then raise your sons to be better.

3 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Saintmary(f): 8:28pm On Jun 14, 2021
AmazonTopaz:


Yes that is why I blame some mothers for how their sons turned out to be.Any woman who is married to a good man doesn't know how lucky she is and she must never fail to thank her mother-in-law and other family members for how they shaped her husband's mindset ooo.

The man raised his hands to beat a woman but one woman felt the need to tell her to be his doormat,another one only saw fault in the fact that she talked back at him.Nawa ooo.

Some women are truly seeing trash in the name of marriage and wanting to keep it.Not all marriages are bad o but I will state an unpopular opinion many Nigerian marriages no matter how long it has lasted are not worth admiring or emulating when some of those women confide with the you the hell they had to put up with because they married badly trained entitled pricks behaving like babies and wanting to be called leaders of the home ehn you go weep for them.

It is well oo.Op should leave the marriage since the husband is tired she should also be tired too.

You are right, I have heard lots of stories about these types of badly trained men, but my opinion is that if you want to be respected in your marriage, find a man who respects you ab initio. Not that you will accept anything the man throws your way for the ring only to lose your patience after marriage.
God help us.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by bukatyne(f): 8:52pm On Jun 14, 2021
Saintmary:


You are right, I have heard lots of stories about these types of badly trained men, but my opinion is that if you want to be respected in your marriage, find a man who respects you ab initio. Not that you will accept anything the man throws your way for the ring only to lose your patience after marriage.
God help us.

Words on marble.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by EngrXrix(m): 9:08pm On Jun 14, 2021
RealNakupenda:
What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise

Good morning Ma. I’m so sorry to slide to your inbox like this but I’m confused at the moment. It seems my marriage is over!

We’ve been married for about 5 years now but it’s either we’re not compatible or my husband doesn’t just seem to want to understand me.

We’ve had quarrels like every other regular couple and I’ve tried to adjust and understand him but why does it seem as if I’m the only one working to keep the marriage?

My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.


So recently I was trying to make a deal for us and I told him about this only for him to get angry, when I noticed the harsh tune in his voice I told him to forget it, then he started keeping malice with me that evening. He usually loves malice like no man’s business.

The next day I made food and called him to eat so that I could calmly talk things over with him only for him to ignore me, I was so angry and started voicing out toxic words from my mouth, we quarreled a bit and he left. He came back later that day when I was out and our main gate was locked, I called his line severally he didn’t pick up, I even sent text message, no way.

My neighbor later opened for me after persistently knocking. I was so angry when I got into the house because I observed he was avoiding me and I removed the gate key from his bunch of keys and even tried to express my displeasure at him, he continued ignoring me, then I was insulted him that’s when he responded angrily at me and hit me.

I was shocked because this has never happened before and I know that my husband detests hitting a woman. He walked out of the bedroom and I slept off only to wake me up at night and he apologized and things seemed a bit okay but I was still very hurt.

Later in the day he called me asking for the gate key because I think he was stranded outside and I responded to him that he’s feeling stranded outside the way I was yesterday and hope he understands how I felt also it’s not his right to keep that gate key like his prized possession it’s for both of us, I only left it for him out of respect that he’s the husband but if when he’s angry he cannot make a life saving decision then it’s not fair.

I didn’t actually say it like this verbatim but that’s what I meant. So you know this man felt so ‘insulted’ and started threatening to break up our marriage? And that if I was home with him he would have taught me a lesson?

I tried explaining myself better to him through calls because I was on night duty at work only for him to continue raining insults at me. I was so shocked and had to cut off his calls because it seems we were heading no where.

And I’m like why does it feel as if once we have issues this guy forgets trying to resolve them instead he starts painting me out as a bad person?

I’m not 100%perfect but it doesn’t mean I hate him because we have quarrels.

Now from the way he was even talking yesterday I didn’t recognize the man I got married to any longer. He was saying that I didn’t have remorse for responding to him when he confronted me for taking the key so it means I’m trying to drag headship position as man with him because I’ve contributed financially to the home and I’m like that’s false and a big misunderstanding. I

collected the key from him when I was angry for being locked out of the house, he settled with me at night, the next morning I woke up late and hurriedly left for work and was on night duty so it wasn’t like it was intentional to actually punish him but no o! He said because I didn’t apologize or show remorse when he first called me about the key so our marriage is over, he even used threatening words and I’m like isn’t this over board and out of proportion?

Does it mean that every time I have an issue with my husband I’m now evil?

He doesn’t even seem to care that his actions made me angry. Why?

This has been one major issue with our marriage and I’ve talked and talked about this, if I’m offensive to him in any way he should tell me calmly and I’ll apologize but if he tells me with a harsh tune I may end up being defensive. In fact I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m totally fed up!

If he feels that the marriage is over I wish him well. I won’t fight with him neither will I argue because I called him severally last night trying to make peace but he threw it out on my face. I even told him that if truly he was trying to make peace the other night why not still stand on the side of peace and hear me out?

I’m not dragging headship position with you and everything I’ve sacrificed for our home I think of it as building up our home but instead he kept on ranting insults at me and I’m like what really is happening here?

Why does it always seem that if u express myself to this man and tell him the truth he twists it and sees it from his own side and sticks by it. This happens every time.

I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

SOURCE : I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

For a man that woke u up at night to apologize for hitting you. That shows you he wants peace. You should not have brought up the gate issue up again wen he was outside. You could have just opened the gate and welcome him warmly.

Make peace with him and try a different approach when talking things out with him. If i may suggest use the I'm sorry approach.

2 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by bukatyne(f): 9:31pm On Jun 14, 2021
descarado:

My sister, I tire for we modern women.

I can argue, I have my right, we are equal, I agree o but, can we change nature?
Nope.
Rather, let's use what we have to get what we don't have. We don't have equal strength. We can't even consume the same number of calories per day. Men are naturally wired to consume more.
Put that pride in your pocket and see your man change and worship you.
Divorce never favour women. Especially here.
Use your tongue to count your teeth.

@bold:

A simple yet very difficult concept to understand.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by EmmySparky(m): 10:12pm On Jun 14, 2021
This one is a Feminist that got married cause of the society she found her self where marriage = success...she got no regards for the guy cause she earns more...the dude perceives the insolence and is tryna put her in her place...but I feel he left it late...he should have set boundaries before marriage

5 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by EmmySparky(m): 10:32pm On Jun 14, 2021
pyyxxaro:
A woman that’s a talkative during courtship, wud be worse when she’s married .. there’s no faking it ... the man did bad to beat her shaa .... Men love respect alot, when a man doesn’t get , it torments him... the man shud also respect his wife and talk calmly to her .. women are not really difficult, just tell them what they need to hear , they wud relax ... But truth be told , some ladies are something else oh ... my guy wife don torment my guy reach were, e get the way she go shout for the guy ehn, my guy go bust cry embarassed Women strong oh
omo see life...chai I don laugh tire..u say ur guy dey cry?...hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahaahahahahahah that guy no level go don skyrocket
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Bonjovi13: 10:43pm On Jun 14, 2021
RealNakupenda:
What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise

Good morning Ma. I’m so sorry to slide to your inbox like this but I’m confused at the moment. It seems my marriage is over!

We’ve been married for about 5 years now but it’s either we’re not compatible or my husband doesn’t just seem to want to understand me.

We’ve had quarrels like every other regular couple and I’ve tried to adjust and understand him but why does it seem as if I’m the only one working to keep the marriage?

My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.


So recently I was trying to make a deal for us and I told him about this only for him to get angry, when I noticed the harsh tune in his voice I told him to forget it, then he started keeping malice with me that evening. He usually loves malice like no man’s business.

The next day I made food and called him to eat so that I could calmly talk things over with him only for him to ignore me, I was so angry and started voicing out toxic words from my mouth, we quarreled a bit and he left. He came back later that day when I was out and our main gate was locked, I called his line severally he didn’t pick up, I even sent text message, no way.

My neighbor later opened for me after persistently knocking. I was so angry when I got into the house because I observed he was avoiding me and I removed the gate key from his bunch of keys and even tried to express my displeasure at him, he continued ignoring me, then I was insulted him that’s when he responded angrily at me and hit me.

I was shocked because this has never happened before and I know that my husband detests hitting a woman. He walked out of the bedroom and I slept off only to wake me up at night and he apologized and things seemed a bit okay but I was still very hurt.

Later in the day he called me asking for the gate key because I think he was stranded outside and I responded to him that he’s feeling stranded outside the way I was yesterday and hope he understands how I felt also it’s not his right to keep that gate key like his prized possession it’s for both of us, I only left it for him out of respect that he’s the husband but if when he’s angry he cannot make a life saving decision then it’s not fair.

I didn’t actually say it like this verbatim but that’s what I meant. So you know this man felt so ‘insulted’ and started threatening to break up our marriage? And that if I was home with him he would have taught me a lesson?

I tried explaining myself better to him through calls because I was on night duty at work only for him to continue raining insults at me. I was so shocked and had to cut off his calls because it seems we were heading no where.

And I’m like why does it feel as if once we have issues this guy forgets trying to resolve them instead he starts painting me out as a bad person?

I’m not 100%perfect but it doesn’t mean I hate him because we have quarrels.

Now from the way he was even talking yesterday I didn’t recognize the man I got married to any longer. He was saying that I didn’t have remorse for responding to him when he confronted me for taking the key so it means I’m trying to drag headship position as man with him because I’ve contributed financially to the home and I’m like that’s false and a big misunderstanding. I

collected the key from him when I was angry for being locked out of the house, he settled with me at night, the next morning I woke up late and hurriedly left for work and was on night duty so it wasn’t like it was intentional to actually punish him but no o! He said because I didn’t apologize or show remorse when he first called me about the key so our marriage is over, he even used threatening words and I’m like isn’t this over board and out of proportion?

Does it mean that every time I have an issue with my husband I’m now evil?

He doesn’t even seem to care that his actions made me angry. Why?

This has been one major issue with our marriage and I’ve talked and talked about this, if I’m offensive to him in any way he should tell me calmly and I’ll apologize but if he tells me with a harsh tune I may end up being defensive. In fact I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m totally fed up!

If he feels that the marriage is over I wish him well. I won’t fight with him neither will I argue because I called him severally last night trying to make peace but he threw it out on my face. I even told him that if truly he was trying to make peace the other night why not still stand on the side of peace and hear me out?

I’m not dragging headship position with you and everything I’ve sacrificed for our home I think of it as building up our home but instead he kept on ranting insults at me and I’m like what really is happening here?

Why does it always seem that if u express myself to this man and tell him the truth he twists it and sees it from his own side and sticks by it. This happens every time.

I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

SOURCE : I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

Madam you have anger management issues and you cant control your tongue.

Your husband keeps quiet and shuts you out so you can show remorse and change. He also ignores you so you dont provoke him. Yet you have pushed him with your mouth to the extent that he hit you.

My sister, you are waiting for your husband to understand you. Have you figured your self out? You cannot change your husband if you cant first change how you respond to him.

Your husband didnt tell us his side of the story. Just from your own words alot of us have figured out that you ve got serious personality issues.

Your marriage cant work if you dont respect Your husband unconditionally. He must at a subconscious level have nothing to fear from you.

You have to swallow your pride. Apologise and work on your self. With prayers and bible reading you will be fine.

Ps: What's making you easily angry? No kids Yet? Not enough money? Figure your triggers and talk to him about it

4 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by pyyxxaro: 11:27pm On Jun 14, 2021
EmmySparky:
omo see life...chai I don laugh tire..u say ur guy dey cry?...hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahhahahaahahahahahah that guy no level go don skyrocket


Ogbeni nor be joke oh , if u see the guy for outside house ,e go de talk de make noise like bad guy , de drink big stout , but once e enter house , my guy go turn agidi/wateryam... if the wife cut eye give am ehn, e go humble like puppy sad.. The guy big tall oh , but the wife short grin... Women strong oh ,she hold the guy for blookos sad cry

2 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by EmmySparky(m): 12:24am On Jun 15, 2021
pyyxxaro:



Ogbeni nor be joke oh , if u see the guy for outside house ,e go de talk de make noise like bad guy , de drink big stout , but once e enter house , my guy go turn agidi/wateryam... if the wife cut eye give am ehn, e go humble like puppy sad.. The guy big tall oh , but the wife short grin... Women strong oh ,she hold the guy for blookos sad cry
lol she get him password be that...but your guy no complain na...so it dey sweet am...
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Styluss: 12:29am On Jun 15, 2021
AmazonTopaz:


Why should she not be defensive?man beat you wetin you go do you will turn the other cheek abi or you will still remain submissive thinking that will change him.
My problem with women like you is that you think the victim should be the one to change or is at fault while seeing nothing wrong with the perpetrator.Which sane woman will submit to this kind of husband? You can still direct the advice to her husband so that she can show him to read.Something like stop beating your wife,communicate better,calm your temper,stop keeping malice,respect her etc.

There are a lot of women who are submissive but common love they can't get from their husbands despite all the respect and kneeling down they can still be beaten,cheated on,disregarded etc.

Nigerian men should learn proper training it shouldn't fall on the wife alone to mold them because they are not babies.
Submission cannot help a badly trained man.
lol....coment when you married grin

1 Like

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Styluss: 12:29am On Jun 15, 2021
AmazonTopaz:


Why should she not be defensive?man beat you wetin you go do you will turn the other cheek abi or you will still remain submissive thinking that will change him.
My problem with women like you is that you think the victim should be the one to change or is at fault while seeing nothing wrong with the perpetrator.Which sane woman will submit to this kind of husband? You can still direct the advice to her husband so that she can show him to read.Something like stop beating your wife,communicate better,calm your temper,stop keeping malice,respect her etc.

There are a lot of women who are submissive but common love they can't get from their husbands despite all the respect and kneeling down they can still be beaten,cheated on,disregarded etc.

Nigerian men should learn proper training it shouldn't fall on the wife alone to mold them because they are not babies.
Submission cannot help a badly trained man.
lol....coment when you're married grin
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Yeahmehn: 1:17am On Jun 15, 2021
They say communication is important in marriage or relationship but comprehension is key!

The 2 of you have been talking for God knows how long but nobody is understanding the other. Both of you are failing to comprehend one another.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by liquidmetall: 1:26am On Jun 15, 2021
AmazonTopaz:

Good input.

As for the last part though,marriage is for both of them and it is a full time job with the couple on deck to make the marriage work it shouldn't be left for the woman alone and women should be careful of what they are taking from a man all in the name of marriage.If you must advice,advice both parties.As women are taught to love and value their marriage same should be applied to men so that the energy will be nearly the same.

Submission is not the only thing that will keep a marriage,but since you wanna go biblical men should learn to LOVE their wives.That is the most important,they must learn to love their wives and give themselves for her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for us.The same Bible also said they must submit to one another

Let us not forget to include men along because it takes two to tangle for a marriage to work.

Submitting to one another was not for marriage

It can't say submit to one another then turn around to say women submit again

The bible is not a talkative book
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Vision101(m): 3:05am On Jun 15, 2021
Women and story are 5 & 6.

I'm tired.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by pyyxxaro: 4:55am On Jun 15, 2021
EmmySparky:
lol she get him password be that...but your guy no complain na...so it dey sweet am...



E de sweet am de pain am.together.....if una comot for instance, and maybe one gal de pass with ukwu , u con tell am guy see the babe ukwu , if e reach house e go tell the wife say u shoe am big ukwu grin, the guy na just hornless ram grin true story

2 Likes

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by pyyxxaro: 4:55am On Jun 15, 2021
EmmySparky:
lol she get him password be that...but your guy no complain na...so it dey sweet am...



E de sweet am de pain am.together.....if una comot for instance, and maybe one gal de pass with ukwu , u con tell am guy see the babe ukwu , if e reach house e go tell the wife say u shoe am big ukwu grin, the guy na just hornless ram grin true story ... But it’s cool though
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by Nobody: 7:46am On Jun 15, 2021
RealNakupenda:
What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise

Good morning Ma. I’m so sorry to slide to your inbox like this but I’m confused at the moment. It seems my marriage is over!

We’ve been married for about 5 years now but it’s either we’re not compatible or my husband doesn’t just seem to want to understand me.

We’ve had quarrels like every other regular couple and I’ve tried to adjust and understand him but why does it seem as if I’m the only one working to keep the marriage?

My husband misunderstands me a lot, that I’ve seen from the many quarrels we’ve had. I know that I can be so vocal and be insulting to him when I’m angry but I really don’t mean everything I say, I’m just angry that’s my escape route to voice out hurtful things.


So recently I was trying to make a deal for us and I told him about this only for him to get angry, when I noticed the harsh tune in his voice I told him to forget it, then he started keeping malice with me that evening. He usually loves malice like no man’s business.

The next day I made food and called him to eat so that I could calmly talk things over with him only for him to ignore me, I was so angry and started voicing out toxic words from my mouth, we quarreled a bit and he left. He came back later that day when I was out and our main gate was locked, I called his line severally he didn’t pick up, I even sent text message, no way.

My neighbor later opened for me after persistently knocking. I was so angry when I got into the house because I observed he was avoiding me and I removed the gate key from his bunch of keys and even tried to express my displeasure at him, he continued ignoring me, then I was insulted him that’s when he responded angrily at me and hit me.

I was shocked because this has never happened before and I know that my husband detests hitting a woman. He walked out of the bedroom and I slept off only to wake me up at night and he apologized and things seemed a bit okay but I was still very hurt.

Later in the day he called me asking for the gate key because I think he was stranded outside and I responded to him that he’s feeling stranded outside the way I was yesterday and hope he understands how I felt also it’s not his right to keep that gate key like his prized possession it’s for both of us, I only left it for him out of respect that he’s the husband but if when he’s angry he cannot make a life saving decision then it’s not fair.

I didn’t actually say it like this verbatim but that’s what I meant. So you know this man felt so ‘insulted’ and started threatening to break up our marriage? And that if I was home with him he would have taught me a lesson?

I tried explaining myself better to him through calls because I was on night duty at work only for him to continue raining insults at me. I was so shocked and had to cut off his calls because it seems we were heading no where.

And I’m like why does it feel as if once we have issues this guy forgets trying to resolve them instead he starts painting me out as a bad person?

I’m not 100%perfect but it doesn’t mean I hate him because we have quarrels.

Now from the way he was even talking yesterday I didn’t recognize the man I got married to any longer. He was saying that I didn’t have remorse for responding to him when he confronted me for taking the key so it means I’m trying to drag headship position as man with him because I’ve contributed financially to the home and I’m like that’s false and a big misunderstanding. I

collected the key from him when I was angry for being locked out of the house, he settled with me at night, the next morning I woke up late and hurriedly left for work and was on night duty so it wasn’t like it was intentional to actually punish him but no o! He said because I didn’t apologize or show remorse when he first called me about the key so our marriage is over, he even used threatening words and I’m like isn’t this over board and out of proportion?

Does it mean that every time I have an issue with my husband I’m now evil?

He doesn’t even seem to care that his actions made me angry. Why?

This has been one major issue with our marriage and I’ve talked and talked about this, if I’m offensive to him in any way he should tell me calmly and I’ll apologize but if he tells me with a harsh tune I may end up being defensive. In fact I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m totally fed up!

If he feels that the marriage is over I wish him well. I won’t fight with him neither will I argue because I called him severally last night trying to make peace but he threw it out on my face. I even told him that if truly he was trying to make peace the other night why not still stand on the side of peace and hear me out?

I’m not dragging headship position with you and everything I’ve sacrificed for our home I think of it as building up our home but instead he kept on ranting insults at me and I’m like what really is happening here?

Why does it always seem that if u express myself to this man and tell him the truth he twists it and sees it from his own side and sticks by it. This happens every time.

I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.

SOURCE : I’m totally confused!

If he wishes the marriage to break up because he doesn’t want to see from my own side of the story then I don’t know what else to do but if he lifts a finger on me when I get home from work I will have to choice other than to hurt him back and really finalize that the marriage is over.
you both need Jesus Christ otherwise, dis marriage don go.
It's takes a level of maturity and an understanding of reality to get married.Both the man and the woman in this story have none of them.
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by conscienceman4(m): 7:53am On Jun 15, 2021
Woman, stop destroying your marriage. Just read and try to understand what Mutter wrote.
There is no man that chose to marry you out of all the women out there that do not love you. You want your husband to understand you and your constant insult?. Submit yourself, be respectful and recover your marriage. You are still in the tempting phase of your marriage, just 5 years. Work your marriage with patience and understanding.

1 Like

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by EmmySparky(m): 7:57am On Jun 15, 2021
pyyxxaro:




E de sweet am de pain am.together.....if una comot for instance, and maybe one gal de pass with ukwu , u con tell am guy see the babe ukwu , if e reach house e go tell the wife say u shoe am big ukwu grin, the guy na just hornless ram grin true story ... But it’s cool though
ehya...I understand him type...
Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by AmazonTopaz(f): 8:15am On Jun 15, 2021
Styluss:
lol....coment when you married grin

And who told you I am not or did I in anyway make known my marital status

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Should I Do? My Husband Said Our Marriage Is Over-Pls Advise by AmazonTopaz(f): 8:19am On Jun 15, 2021
liquidmetall:


Submitting to one another was not for marriage

It can't say submit to one another then turn around to say women submit again

The bible is not a talkative book

That is my own interpretation of it and it applies to everything you do including marriage.It was in the same chapter relating to marriage as well.

3 Likes

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