₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
I think people ought to normalize using the phrase 'UNPLANNED pregnancy' instead of 'UNWANTED pregnancy'... Please and please!!!

@Priceless007, nothing about your story is unusual.

You met someone, you found her attractive, one thing led to another and sex happened. Pregnancy is just the expected natural consequence of having sex, especially when you don't observe standard safety protocols.
Next time, be more careful...

However, there are two things I would like to point out:

1. You must do right by that child, and this means providing whatever you can financially for the mother to have a comfortable delivery.
I don't want to bring up the issue of paternity because person wey never see money to buy pampers should not be told to use money to run DNA tests. But still, have it in mind and consider having this done somewhere down the line.

2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, marry into that family.
That she is about to be the mother of your child does not mean she must also be your wife... Na two different things oo. Take note!
First of all, she doesn't seem like someone who has plenty sense and secondly, her family doesn't seem like they have sense either – this one they're already harassing you at this point, is giving me all kinds of danger vibes.


With all that out of the way, I wish you a hearty congratulations. You're the latest baby daddy on NL.

Ahhh, funny how his life turned upside down just because he had sex.

He didn’t kill anyone naaa, he just f****d . . . A natural activity created by God himself!

I think we need to start normalizing sex, and then maybe people will stop ruining their lives over it.

Christianity is no longer about salvation
Fear not for your fathers in thy lord are doing same with the choir people

Tis story is long and shapeless and anyone who read it is jobless

OP & his HELP! topics be like,,,,,

Lol...
Whatever happens to you .. you deserve it and so much more... Imagine a clergy man to be.. you are so unwise ... Very very... Even tho you wan do... What's wrong with condom or pulling out...


Street wise people hardly get girls pregnant... Carry your pikin

Hahaha.. indeed ya very naive at priceless007.. this girl is playing you like ludo.. damn

We cannot help you if you cannot help that girl. You damaged her career by first reporting ....mchew. get out abeg

This is a sentence in a very big book.

Sorry but you don't have sense for reporting yourself after having sexx

Igbo people are so damn greedy

I have this phobia for long write ups... Sorry, didnt read. Hope u find peace though

May Almighty Allah ease our affairs

Kpekus wey hostel boys dey manage, e reach ur turn you tear net
I tire oo

na Gospel den talk say make you minister
but you go dey minister unto Sister in the Lord.
it is done
may the Lord provide the grace and the anointing for you to do the needful

A wise man once said.. any man that can control himself and resist sexual sins has solved over 95 percent of his problems.

@OP you slept with her, poured your akamu inside her and watched it flow down on the bed sheet like a boss.. abi no be so?
Na the after effect you don see so.. start buying baby clothes and other items for your first child.

Go show yourself a d let her parents know you, tell them u can't afford marriage for now buh you accept responsibility for the pregnancy and promise them you'd do your best to provide for the baby then go and learn your skill better.

D things wey preek and vjay dey cause ehn? Na wa o.
Where i wan start to advice like this self?

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

How old are you?

Firstorderwizard:
Kpekus wey hostel boys dey manage, e reach ur turn you tear net
I tire oo

E nor tear wetin
when
Baba activate

.... and the violent taketh it by force .....

El oh el

All these long story na because say you no get bar...

Juliusmomoh:
You only had sex with her once. And the next she did was telling u that she's pregnant after several weeks... Is anyone thinking what am thing?



No mind am.. The guy get mind Bleep for theologian school.

I think I the girl just wants to put the pregnancy on the guy and that's why she is pushing for marriage.

Thou shalt not simp

So no one picked the line where this dude said getting married should bring him back to church.
When you were Squeezing her titties you had no intention of getting married? Please the End product is that baby, braze yourself up. Seek forgiveness, and go straight to Imo to do the needful and be with your family. ... Learn say wetin person no dey chop, him no dey use am smell nose.

Whatever you do, don't be too hard on yourself. These are part of life's challanges. Secondly, be sure that child is yours before proceeding to do anything. If I were you though, I wouldn't marry a lady because she is pregnant for me. It's not possible. May God guide and help you. Amen!

crackhaus:
I think people ought to normalize using the phrase 'UNPLANNED pregnancy' instead of 'UNWANTED pregnancy'... Please and please!!!

@Priceless007, nothing about your story is unusual.

You met someone, you found her attractive, one thing led to another and sex happened. Pregnancy is just the expected natural consequence of having sex, especially when you don't observe standard safety protocols.
Next time, be more careful...

However, there are two things I would like to point out:

1. You must do right by that child, and this means providing whatever you can financially for the mother to have a comfortable delivery.
I don't want to bring up the issue of paternity because person wey never see money to buy pampers should not be told to use money to run DNA tests. But still, have it in mind and consider having this done somewhere down the line.

2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, marry into that family.
That she is about to be the mother of your child does not mean she must also be your wife... Na two different things oo. Take note!
First of all, she doesn't seem like someone who has plenty sense and secondly, her family doesn't seem like they have sense either – this one they're already harassing you at this point, is giving me all kinds of danger vibes.


With all that out of the way, I wish you a hearty congratulations. You're the latest baby daddy on NL.

Crack, the family says all or nothing. Meaning if he doesn't marry the girl, he should relinquish all claims on the child.

I just know a wise man when he speaks.

Go and see them before she put to bed, don't wear your best cloth nor your best shoe, go with a friend who should rather dress better than you are. Apologize for not coming earlier, give excuses for this, apologize for the incident , tell them you don't plan it this way either.

Don't go empty handed, atleast go with fruit.

Let your outlook do the talking that you're not ready for marriage.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

First let me ask, have you prayed about it?
If you have prayed, what did God say to you?

I would love to guide you through this situation if you let me.

Another fake fleshly pastor on the prowl, looking for illicit sex —as usual. If she didn't get pregnant, he would've continued to pretend everything was fine.

Dirty sexually depraved men hiding under the canopy of being pastors, yet full of ego and fornication. Dirty, lustful "holy" men constantly looking for opportunities to have sexual encounters with women under their care. If she didn't agree to, he might've forced himself on her.

May whatever god they call on strike them. Stupid, crooked, perverse fakes. Hiding behind scriptures to defend their evil acts.

I have gone through your profile. I would have asked you to send me a PM so I can call you and advise you privately but your story does not sound genuine or add up with the other stories you posted on your profile. But if you're real. Send me a PM

Romanoff:
Wahala be like POS business, e dey every junction.

Una dey knack for theology school, una no even fear.

The devil is very smart, he just arrnged temptation keep for you for where your journey start, lack of self control didn't allow you see the Potiphar's wife sent to destroy your life.

Worse is while you have hope of going back to the school, she was expelled and now has a baby on the way.

It couldn't have cost you anything to take one or two of your uncles to go see her parents, explain to them that you don't have a job that you're doing now and can't support but they should provide you with a basic list for traditional rites so you can save towards it.

If they are reasonable parents with a daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock, they'd be lenient with the list.

This isn't going to be easy as a job is hard to come by and learning a skill will cost you and mean you can't even earn to support her or the baby.

For those who will stumble on this, if you know your calling or purpose on this earth, flee from sexual sin. Nothing destroys destiny like it.

Solid points

The guy should go and pay dowry joor (strangely thats not one of his options) theological school will accept him back after he marries and he will continue his training shikena.

she is also paying a great ( if not greater ) price -expulsion and unwanted pregnancy at least he was just suspended.

I don't blame the parents for saying its marriage or nothing. He should do the needful.

You will be fine..
Don’t think alternative, you will overcome this present storm.

If you have whatsapp enabled phone.

Drop your whatsapp contact I'll train you on social media marketing
And how you can offer this service to start making money with it.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.