This situation is quite tricky .
I can't imagine what you are going through now. But...

In this world perception is everything, our attitude and reaction to situations will mar or make us.

Have learnt in my short life on earth to always look at the positive side of event no matter how bad the situation is, just be positive, look on the brighter side

Guy you will soon be a father, you help produce a little human, that is amazing. It is a thing to be happy about. Sure its not part of your plan but Bleep plan, you have a baby. Be happy.

Like someone said above you and one elder should visit the girls parent. Explain your situation and assure them you are not ready for marriage now but you are willing to take take care of the baby and the mother .

Go out into the world and renew your hustles.
Having a baby to care for is enough motivation.

What has happened has happened, you just have to make the best of the situation. And remember God is with you, be assured he's with you and he will help you in this trying times. Just have faith and believe God will turn this sour story to sweet

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Good evening, please since she and her family has refused to be reasonable in this issue, just let them be. My advice for you is to be focused on your school and skills, okay? Leave them and build yourself. Thank u.

greenie77:
You ought to have shown up at her family's house by now with an elder or two from your family. Once she gives birth, the child would bear his/her maternal grandfather's name and you can't go claim the child.

It is good to know the traditions about a child born outside marriage in the community where the woman comes from especially in igboland, for some the child would bear the name of the grandfather even after the mother marries while others becomes the child of whoever pays the mother's bride price....ask!

And I'm pretty sure it's going to be a baby boy.

UDUJ:


Lol

Ishi skin to skin is sweet but the risks far outweighs the sweetness for me. If it's not unwanted pregnancies and the thought of being forever tied to someone you never loved because I was thinking with my dick, or the thought of the various STI's ( they are so many) or something like that showing up in my work or immigration medicals,haba it's not worth it. Even if the smashing is above one hour ( which it isn't , it's still not worth the risk).

I always use TROJAN NaturaLamb Luxury condoms though expensive but gives you that skin to skin feel and peace of mind. Pleasure for both parties involved

Lamb? Won't it feel like kpomo?

You do not want marriage. Right thing to do is adequate child support. Good Luck.

Sleyk:
You didn't keep to your promise...
this story is LONG and not short.

Is this your counsel

1Alex:
We all make mistakes sometimes. You have made yours.

In my opinion, you should have gone with an elderly person to see her people pay her bride price only and explain your condition to them and plead with them to also help you take care of her till you get back on your feet.


If you abandon and forget about this baby now, in about 20 to 30 years later, you will begin to regret it.

Can't you see that he was out of relationship and intimacy for 7yrs, and what happened was a mistake. What counsel have you really given him?

You scr

But guy, you screwed the girl's life by confessing. She was expelled as a result of your confession while you were suspended to be called back. Forget about your calling, marry her coz you've done enough damage already.

Romanoff:
Wahala be like POS business, e dey every junction.

Una dey knack for theology school, una no even fear.

The devil is very smart, he just arrnged temptation keep for you for where your journey start, lack of self control didn't allow you see the Potiphar's wife sent to destroy your life.

Worse is while you have hope of going back to the school, she was expelled and now has a baby on the way.

It couldn't have cost you anything to take one or two of your uncles to go see her parents, explain to them that you don't have a job that you're doing now and can't support but they should provide you with a basic list for traditional rites so you can save towards it.

If they are reasonable parents with a daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock, they'd be lenient with the list.

This isn't going to be easy as a job is hard to come by and learning a skill will cost you and mean you can't even earn to support her or the baby.

For those who will stumble on this, if you know your calling or purpose on this earth, flee from sexual sin. Nothing destroys destiny like it.

Baba at the bolded. I was in similar position with the OP some time ago so I can relate. Baba e no easy at all especially if you're not in it before. Playboys have better control because of their experience. This is why the devil often uses sex as a tool to bring down destinies of those who wanted to toe the "purity" way.
This lady seduced me for a number of times, I rejected on each count and I would run away and leave the bed for her or hit her hand so hard. I had no other place to go and I guess she was using that advantage against me. All of a sudden, evil thoughts started coming into me and I was rebuking them with prayers rather than looking for a way to leave the state (because I didn't have any other place to stay there). Almost a week later, I fell. Yes I fell. I let her touch me and I touched her too. To cut the long story short, she ended up giving me a bj (thank God no intercourse happened) which was less than 2 mins and that was when my senses returned immediately. I heard something or someone asking me "What are you doing?" in my head and I ran to the backyard. I didn't sleep that night as I cried my eyes out. The next morning, I felt God has rejected me and the devil has won. I had to leave the state two days later. I just had to leave. I felt I was strong but I discovered I was week.
It took me two years to recover from this because I felt I had fallen short of the Joseph standard. I wept and wept. I was depressed and felt God had abandoned me but Our God is a merciful God.
What do i share this story? See brother, A part of Lord's prayer is "Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil". Na person wey never jam temptation go dey condemn much. I have been there, I have felt it so I know how it is.
Sexual immorality takes away inner peace and destiny, may God save us all. Amen.

@Op, no be you go be the only to impregnate a lady. While it's bad, don't think it has stopped God's plan for your life. It may delay it but it won't stop it. It's time for you to double up your hustle and take full responsibility for everything. When you are more settled, go complete your theology training. This na stumbling block the devil wan use test you. Las las, you will be alright. Amen.

When they are fucvkking you

You chose to go raw so take the responsibility

Mcfi:


Your name indicates that you are programmer. Or it’s just a name?

I am much into editing existing script for use. I want to code from scratch, do you? If yes, which one is most lucrative and can teach it?

Siberry:


God punish you. Tempting men. In fact he raped that young girl with his old and stupid wandering dick.

God punish you too. Idiot

crackhaus:

Hasn't it been normalized already?

From what I see around and from experience, it's been normalized.

It's just holier-than-thou folks as well as the career hypocrites who still make it appear like a big deal.

I agree!

If she put to bird without you paying her bride price , just forget about the baby,it belongs to the girls family. I guess that's their tradition .

TechWows:
I am much into editing existing script for use. I want to code from scratch, do you? If yes, which one is most lucrative and can teach it?

I sent you message through this platform.

digitrend:



Send an email to (yib336@gmail.com) include your whatsapp contact.

IF you are interested in learning how to operate
Excavator, Crane or Forklift and Bulldozer .
After 3months training you will be issued a Certificate from our foreign training partner Hardhat training institute in U.S .
This is a scholarship.
We will help you for free..you will look after your upkeep..
Mesage me to get more details.

Check your mail, chief

.

I don't see what the problem is. They are trying to force you to marry a woman you don't love or forget about laying claim to a child you never wanted. Easy answer... They can keep the child and name it for conscience sake send whatever support you can and move on with your life.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Chai... I pity you.

If you know that you are not ready for marriage; does that mean you are not also ready to use a condom?

digitrend:



Send an email to (yib336@gmail.com) include your whatsapp contact.

IF you are interested in learning how to operate
Excavator, Crane or Forklift and Bulldozer .
After 3months training you will be issued a Certificate from our foreign training partner Hardhat training institute in U.S .
This is a scholarship.
We will help you for free..you will look after your upkeep..
Mesage me to get more details.

Please is this training still available. I'm interested.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Good day.

How far...?

I really want to know how this your story ended, 'actually commented on it the day you shared it.