Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother - Family - Nairaland
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| Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 4:17am On Oct 14, 2021 |
So I created a new account for this. I'll try too keep it as short as possible. My Dad is an evangelist and our mom died in 2013. 4 months ago, my older brother revealed to my dad, via phone call, that He is agnostic, my Dad cried and it was shocking for me, because I have never seen my Dad cry. Since the day my brother revealed that He has left the faith, My Dad has been fasting on his behalf. Over the weeks He has lost weight, because He is fasting and praying excessively for God to arrest my brother and He is eating very little. Nowadays, He keeps talking to himself and calling himself a "failed parent" for raising an "athiest" child (To him there is no difference between being Atheist and being Agnostic). Some church members on Facebook found out that my brother had left the faith and they are putting the blame on my parents for not raising my brother properly in the faith. My brother is a frequent visitor to this website, I don't know his username, but I know He visits this website a lot. Frankly, even though I'm Christian, I have no problems with my brother being agnostic. Right from when we were growing up, He has always been skeptical of religion and I cannot count how many times our parents punished him for skipping church or criticizing popular pastors. He has always been like that and I have gotten used to it. So when I found out that He is was no longer Christian, I was sad, but not surprised. I have been begging my father to eat properly for over four months now and my pleas have fallen on deaf ears. Old age is starting to catch up with him, his health is already failing him, He is not taking his drugs and He is making matters worse by overthinking about my brother. I am the last born and the only lady with him in the house, as all my older siblings are not around. While I believe that God will arrest my brother in due course, I cannot help but worry about my father who is worrying himself to death over one child. Just yesterday out of frustration and anger, my father laid several hefty curses on my brother, I sent a WhatsApp vn to my brother telling him about it, thinking that his mind will soften a bit, but He replied me that He doesn't believe in curses. In fact I am tired at this point, Please what should I do? 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Bola146(f): 4:20am On Oct 14, 2021 |
 So sad, i understand your father, he loves your brother so much. Why not call your brother to inform him about what is happening to your father or inform other siblings and your father relatives.8 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by izzou(m): 4:27am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Your father should understand that your brother is his son first, before assuming any religion he likes. Life is too short for all these wahala. If your dad decides not to live peacefully with your brother's decision, I suggest you let him be, and stop torturing yourself too. This life is very short oh. 12 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by baby124: 4:28am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Many people are beginning to question religion because of the many fake pastors and fake imams preaching violence. The more they go extreme the more people are skeptical. As your dad chose his path to become an evangelist, so did your brother choose to be an agnostic. The fact is religion is forced on us from birth, as adults we can choose. Your father does not own your brother’s life, he has chosen his way. Your dad needs to come to peace with it and move on with his life. A true Christian will try to understand and not be laying curses on his own son. Obviously some hypocritical behaviors of your father drove your brother where he is. Where is the love that Christianity preaches? Your father has made himself God by thinking he can force another’s will. Even God does not take that place in anybody’s life. Your brother is not an evangelist, your father is. Let everyone face their business and their hustle. You can tell your brother to tone down on his views for your father’s sake. Especially on social media. They might not agree, but they both deserve the chance to live in peace and respect each other. Your brother believes in God, he just does not believe in organized religion. Which quite frankly is cultlike and, your father is showing deep signs of a cult leader which probably chased your brother away. For people who have a free thinking/ rebellious mind, religion is not logical. Until we realize that all humans have different perspectives, we will never respect each other and appreciate the diversity. 16 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Vaughanlanrewaj: 4:34am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Stop worrying about your brother, your father has already intervened. It's your father you need to keep praying for. Everything will be alright so don't overthink it too. Your dad is perhaps not busy enough or the environment is limiting him or bringing too much reminder of his weakness, your brother, to his realities. If it doesn't kill him, it will make him stronger, just don't stop praying for him. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by JeffreyJunior: 4:36am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Talk to your brother and plead with him to at least pretend a little to be Christian when in your dad's presence, for the old man's sake. I hate when parents insist on living their lives and those of their kids too but what can one do if not please them in every little way one can. Remind your brother that a father is like an umbrella and those who still have them around should cherish and love them. As for being agnostic, it's his choice. I believe there is God somewhere but I can bet that he is neither in today's churches nor today's mosques. 1 Like |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by SSIPON(m): 4:46am On Oct 14, 2021 |
NoJex: Well, I'm agnostic, so here are my two cents. When I told my Dad that I had left the Christian faith, He freaking fainted. Everyone in my family treated me like some kind of outcast. My mom cried every day and told me and I quote her exact words, "Even if you think Christians like Me [my mom] are fools, at least can't you be foolish for Christ?". Now I must admit that seeing my Mom cry everyday was heartbreaking, every time She would be sending me WhatsApp voice notes of Adeboye and other preachers. So just to make her happy (and stop the annoying voice notes), I became "born-again".  I pretend to be religious whenever I am with them. I don't stay with them, but whenever I come home for occasions like Christmas (Omo, I forget my agnosticism and become Christian). They don't know I'm pretending and I want to keep things this way, because I love them and even if I have to pretend to be religious whenever I am around them just to keep them happy, then it's worth it.Your brother should do what He can to make sure your Dad's health is stabilized. In this life, you can only have two parents. You've lost one, make sure you pamper the other one like egg. 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by chukwuibuipob: 4:47am On Oct 14, 2021 |
 Nojex,. Hope Ur bro never join those street nuisance? . Maybe joblessness,frustration/bad friends probably the root cause of his sudden change? God will honour the parents CURSE unless Ur bro change and the old man bless him something tell me,he'll change his waywardness lifestyle and come back home like the prodigal son.Ur father can't be suffering and he care not. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Dexpro: 4:54am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Bola146:The said brother has chosen a path. He's made his decision and that should be respected. Calling the brother to inform him of what's happening won't change anything. As a matter of fact, the more he's been pressured, the more he'll see his decision as being the right one. If this young man of 26 can be wholly ignored, though he should be included in their daily prayers, something good might possibly come out of it. My advice, tell your dad to call him over, let them have a father and son discussion, your dad must be ready to accept and respect your brother's decision. He should never curse or be violent towards him because if the boy comes home as the senior special adviser to the president, your dad's approach to him will be fantastically different. If after the discuss, he still insist he's sticking to his new agnostic beliefs, then your dad should support your brother in prayers daily from his closet! And stop worrying himself to death. 4 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 4:54am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Bola146: My brother is the kind of person that if you call him, He won't pick. We only communicate via whatsapp and trust me, I have tried to make him understand, but He won't budge.  Only a few of our relatives know, but they are not helping at all, they just keep saying, "It is well, God will arrest him." My 2 other brothers are also out of the country currently. 1 Like |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 4:55am On Oct 14, 2021 |
izzou:Thank you for your advice sir. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 4:57am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Dexpro: Sorry I made a mistake when typing his age, He is 26, not 23. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Timoleon(m): 4:58am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Parents always trying to live two lives by controlling the lives of their children. They turn around and play victim when their kids choose to live their own lives. Let your father make peace with the reality on ground. I wonder how many people your brother would have to pretend to to make everything back to normal and allow your father enjoy the “respect” he used to get from church members. 11 Likes
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| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Ahmed0336(m): 5:01am On Oct 14, 2021 |
One funny thing about parents is... We tend to love the most stubborn of our kids and barely have time for good/calm/organized ones. I DON'T KNOW WHYYYYYYY 3 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 5:03am On Oct 14, 2021 |
chukwuibuipob:He is quite successful for a 26 year old and He is even abroad. He was the one that sponsored some parts of my university education. He has always been skeptical about religion since We were small, there was no "sudden change" because He has always been like that. They was even one time when we were younger He got into an argument with our Sunday school teacher and the woman said, "This one that you are talking like this, are you sure you are a believer?" 4 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by greenie77: 5:05am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Your brother has chosen his path, your father has to find a way to live with the reality of the situation. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 5:09am On Oct 14, 2021 |
greenie77: He is not eating, He is not taking his drugs, He just keeps praying and fasting even with his failing health. God knows I have tried my best |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Timoleon(m): 5:16am On Oct 14, 2021 |
NoJex:lets look at it this way. He’s fasting and praying to God. You are probably a christian too. You’d argue that no one knows better than God not even Nairaland. So, leave everything to God, let his will be done. 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Nobody: 5:16am On Oct 14, 2021 |
. 3 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 5:20am On Oct 14, 2021 |
SSIPON: Thanks for your advice sir. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Dexpro: 5:22am On Oct 14, 2021 |
NoJex: Okay. Let me readjust my response then. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Vision101(m): 5:33am On Oct 14, 2021 |
I can understand the pains of a true Christian father that the son has fallen off the faith. He feels that he will be judged by the Christian community as a failure. This is always the experience of true Christian families because of the caged life of true Christianity. Most of their children can't deal with this. Let your father relax but always remember him in prayer after all no one comes to Christ except He draws the person to himself. 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Ekele007: 5:34am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Dear friend, now you are the eye of the house. You can sense and see both your father and brother character and perspective, so I will urge you to pray to God Almighty to redeem your dad because the devil has made your brothers heart harden. Just like pharaoh, the more the plague and curses the more Pharaoh's heart is stronger. So plead and pray that The Lord God Almighty should rescue your dad from the devil and soften your brothers mind, and give him the vision to see things in the right way. You're now the one that can save both of them from destruction. Than u 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by DEGREE2466(m): 5:39am On Oct 14, 2021 |
NoJex: This your post has three points... Your brother's new belief Your father's reaction Your singlehood You seem not to be surprised with point 1 since your brother has always exhibited such trait. You are noticing and getting more worried of point 2 because of point 3. Do you need a man to take you out of the house so you stop worrying much about what is going on there  The forum can help. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by bigjackass: 5:42am On Oct 14, 2021 |
wtF! op tell your brother to call your pops man and tell him he made a mistake and he has come back to his senses. As for me I don't think there is anything in this world that is worth making your parents depressed. Your parents are like your mini gods. I always shake my head when I see young people making their parents cry claiming to be athiest, gay and other unnecessary things  . Must you tell them? You can fúcking pretend or live your truth without their knowledge until they die. It's unfortunate when things like this happen but your father will just kill himself for nothing sincerely. 1 Like
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| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by suffering: 5:45am On Oct 14, 2021 |
If God is real He’ll intervene in the matter. There is no problem here. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by NoJex: 5:45am On Oct 14, 2021 |
DEGREE2466: I am not single. I am just here to seek advice, sir. |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by beautyhd: 6:09am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Tell your brother the effect of his actions on your father. Don't mince words, tell him about the increased fasting and skipping of drugs and hallucinations. Tell him not to come back to his faith but pretend for the sake your father's health that he has repented. If he truly loves your dad he will oblige. 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by yanabasee2: 6:13am On Oct 14, 2021 |
He discovered himself and move close to what he feels will give him a peace of mind... Not a good idea for parents to feel this way about their children's decision.... Read sometimes ago how parents discovered that their children where having sex and they decided to allow them continue..... Africa is to respect adults decision.... |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 6:47am On Oct 14, 2021 |
I know how this feels...but your dad needs to stop the worrying, pray and leave the rest for God. God will only move closer to those who move close to Him. I have faced life challenges, I have been through a whole lot...the day I decided to go back to God in truth and not in pretense was the day I received my breakthrough. I have experienced mind blowing miracles, and if anyone told me God isn’t real, that person is my No.1 Enemy. I hope your brother finds the Light soon. 1 Like |
| Re: Please Help, My Dad's Health Is Getting Worse Because Of My Brother by SSIPON(m): 6:52am On Oct 14, 2021 |
Xilsbridalhouse: I'm not even religious, but I don't even know why I feel bad for the lady. Her brother is irreligious and She just wants her Dad's health to get better. 1 Like |
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