₦airaland Forum

Go and make money... Forget all these stories you're telling!

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Moreign001:
If I'm to post it again, I will still generalized it. And not just because of mine, but because it has been happening, and it still happening. So the stupid and ignorant stays. Thank you.

One quick question..
Is Marriage and child birth your mum's greatest achievement..
if yes...I must congratulate u for being your mum's greatest achievement..

In my case it was her who said she wasn’t ready until after her masters but got married immediately after graduation.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

You are not a woman so you won't understand the pressure.

She genuinely informed you which means she's under pressure but still likes you. Some won't even inform you,you will be shocked to find out after the marriage.

To avoid emotional stress try and cut off every communication with her but if you are emotionally kajad then keep an open communication with her.No secret meetings oh!

Moreign001:
If you said so... It's her decision. I'm already moving, but we're friends and not enemies.

Moving to Nashville or to where

luvmijeje:
See talk! If you are not married you are called names! We are shamed by families and by friends into marriage. We are been told if you don't settled down at 20's forget it at 30's. Society called women in their 30's different names. I understand why she couldn't wait

It takes a very very strong woman not to bend to pressure.

The single lives they are all afraid of is what they later end up with in their 30's and 40's but this time with kids. Is that not foolishness.

What if there are NO kids?

NickiSlay:
"Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria"

It's stupid and ignorant to generalise based on what one person did to you.

Keep quiet dear, the assertion is right.

E choke oooo....... But that your nigga really nail the story with his advise I love that.

My advise is pleading that you should not leave her is a scam oooo and let go of her totally. Rooms to any means of communication let it be closed because I feel she may want to secure her marriage and later on if she found any mistake in her new man, you will be the one she'll be using to join body ...... You geeerrrrrriit and if you don't geeerrrrrriit, forget about rrrrrrriiiitttt

Lol.... Should he marry her when they are still both in school and studying

Common sense is not common ....

IdreamOfUnicorn:
After four years of being with her you don't have intention to marry her and you expected her to stay put? You want to turn her to lord of the rings

BigBashiru:
a woman over 30 can have any number of children she wants but there are some caveats. biologically, it has been proven that a woman is most fit for conception and birth of the healthiest babies between 18-30..... this is also the same reason why guys disturb girls 18-30 the most.... nature has designed it all out. the reason why guys disturb girls 18-28 the most is so they can pick the best man to mate with.... the rate at which men show interest in a girl is directly proportional to her youthful look - the more youthful she looks, the more disturbance she gets because youth is subconsciously tied to mating....


yes a woman over 30 can have any number of children she wants but with increased risks in labor (God forbid)... men have biological clock too they just too proud to confess... i believe a guys biological clock is 40.... and 35 is the best age for a guy to have children... a guy can marry at 35 and have flings with hot girls the rest of his life but by 35 the girl is no longer pulling guys like she used to and even for her to have flings is difficult.

Any woman that accuses me of "cheating" after getting married is wasting her time - its becos her own bargaining power is gone; if not she would do the same....she cheated herself by not getting married on time.

You must be a woman to conclude all this about women. Or you just seat down and imagine all this bullshi*te. A woman has at least 5 men at any time after her. Even pregnant women get toasters and grannies too. Some grannies get boyfriends. Lol. Seems guys make up story time to make themselves feel better. Women have a lot more opportunity to cheat than men.

klawaaa:
It's not foolishness. Chances of women having healthier offsprings decreases so much after 20's. So I would always advise ladies to settle down before their 30's if they have someone they truly love.

Not true. Many women are having kids in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s now. And they are all fine, the kids are healthy.

Women use men, and men also use women.
From my experience, i have cut off dating,
i date to marry now, not date to waste time, money, energy and resources.
You didnt have a tangible reason for dating, but she needs a reason, she saw it elsewhere and went for it.

Well, atleast she's matured enough to tell you ,most girls just look for excuses instead to leave you so they don't have to deal with the emotional guilty conscience, this is why she's saying don't leave me while she's the one letting go.

Well this writeup is not new to me cos ladies will always cry for u to promise them then atd end they will still b d one to leave you...

Talking from experience though

Omoluabiii:
Women use men, and men also use women.
From my experience, i have cut off dating,
i date to marry now, not date to waste time, money, energy and resources.
You didnt have a tangible reason for dating, but she needs a reason, she saw it elsewhere and went for it.

Now u understand the game...

Keep it up

Buckle up.. nothing wey eyes see shed BLOOD...l pray God compensate you with a Virgin tie rubber .
Good luck

Reduced your conversation with her an let her focus because if it get to husb notice the story will be different

Marriage is their number agenda for sure now just imagine say she old for her mama house because of you or don't you know there is menopause? One thing you should know is that she is not your destined wife so just crab the tea cup and go find ur destined wife

Women marry who is ready not whom they love

You can't blame.

They have serious complex

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Moreign001:
She has brought up this before, But I told her to just wait after our Nysc next year. But....

Wish her goodluck and move on....Avoid the blackmail she want to put you through...She thought you will be down the moment she reveals, and she was shocked you accepted it.

Just ghost her...Avoid calls and chats from her...She isn't in your league sef...28/26....so close..

School relationship no dey enter marriage.

Channel your resources to making money and settling to marriage in few years to come..That's the way.

Women go with who is ready and available...Most will ask you na love them go chop. Which is true...
Ones you are financially capable, you are a hot cake...crushing and admiring from all angles..If you are intelligent and good looking as well, na icing on the cake...So focus!.

Ofadaman:
Well, atleast she's matured enough to tell you ,most girls just look for excuses instead to leave you so they don't have to deal with the emotional guilty conscience, this is why she's saying don't leave me while she's the one letting go.

Exactly....26 no be beans...The babe acted matured...If na me sef I will send her wedding gift.. ...Most will play religious or tribal card to escape blackmail.

All this people telling you to reduce communication.....Na lie oooooo. Do not reduce communication, cut it off entirely. If you want to get over the emotional turmoil that's the fastest way. Cos she will always call to cry and blackmail you emotionally.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

luvmijeje:
If I find someone I love and who love me in return, I won't mind waiting forever for him. Because those kind of relationship are rare. But heeeeee.... She is not me.

Dey wyne yourself

my brother, that's the traits of our ladies of today. i was once in your shoe but i had to let go. i also shared my story on nairaland and i got several advices. funny enough is that she came back to my house 3 months after her marriage and she kept crying and telling me she regret ever getting into the marriage.
i wont lie to you, she will come back and Bleep you.

The is my favorite phrase ”we move, no be God leave you". Na real man your friend be, na correct nigga be this

Yoighaman:
@OP: With all this nonsense you just wrote, I have no iota of pity for you anymore and I won't mince words.

What is wrong with you? Are you sure you are in your right senses? Someone dumped you for another man without considering your emotions, and simultaneously using histrionics and gaslighting you, yet you are still supporting her.

Are you mad? You dey ment ni? Aaahhh! now I see why red pillers for nairaland dey always para...jeez!

Your own don pass simp, you don craze finish. What kind of a low-esteemed human being are you? A girl did all these to you and this is what you write?? Wow!..who do you this kain thing? You be mumu ni? Mr. Mumuni.


Let me stop writing, I dey vex gan....

Seriously.. I mean seriously.. Dis will be d first time i feel like punching someone.. Dat op is simply not in his right sense with dat statement.. Someone moved on so fast and using yeye cry deceive him. May be d op didnt know we have been in dis shit before. D guy never learn. Simp

luvmijeje:
See talk! If you are not married you are called names! We are shamed by families and by friends into marriage. We are been told if you don't settled down at 20's forget it at 30's. Society called women in their 30's different names. I understand why she couldn't wait

It takes a very very strong woman not to bend to pressure.

The single lives they are all afraid of is what they later end up with in their 30's and 40's but this time with kids. Is that not foolishness.

Irony of life. However, never marry for the wrong reasons.

@moreign001,your friend is a MVF I swear,his words will motivate me for a long time.

“Support her, we move, no be God leave you".

Very good words.

She only like you but didn't love you genuinely, she knew you guys are not going to get married but kept it to herself.
cut her off and move on.

Ishilove:
Pele o, Joseph Alala.


The nauseating double standards. Let's not go too far. Let's start with Nairaland here. Just take a look at many comments by the average male who are quick to make derogatory comments about spinsters who have gotten to a certain age, so why will they not feel pressured into jumping into marriage even when in their heart of hearts they aren't ready? Is it not your brothers that call then 'evening newspaper' and 'Shiloh candidate'?
Abi do you want your Nairaland brothers to call her evening newspaper because she is waiting for you to get your shït together? Girls like your ex are pressured into taking drastic steps by the society they find themselves in so yes, marriage is an achievement for many of them because they get to be counted among the numbers of MRS. They escaped the stigmatization of old age Shiloh husband hunting.

When I see J-cup shest.

mama, Its big. I'd luv to suck. I'm thirsty for your massive racks

Moreign001:
Lol, thanks bro. But you just hit my wound! Bleep her, Chai.. My thing, lol.

Relax, she was never yours ! Yours is still being bleeped by another guy somewhere just the same way you were bleeping this lady who now found her real owner. You were just a part time owner , the real owner is her husband. Pray your own discover you on time do that her stuff won't be over used before she eventually meet you. What just happened to u had happened to 99% of men here, including me . So, every real G should expect it.