₦airaland Forum

BarrSly:
Make e no be like say na me dy give bad advice pass, but seriously if to say na me (which it can’t be cause In my sight no girl is worth marriage simply baby manufacturing)

If I was you, I go blast this girl t*t* like never before.. on the introduction day I go blast am, traditional marriage I go blast am, night to wedding sef I go chop again.. just to feel my satisfaction.. Might even get her pregnancy considering our long time connection..


Bro folo my advice, na the t@t@ you go miss pass trust me, so do as I say and walk out a smiling man.

Moreign001:
She's Igbo ooo

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

NickiSlay:
"Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria"

It's stupid and ignorant to generalise based on what one person did to you.

nedekid:
This country has really messed up lots of people. In the first place see the age you guys are graduating from university.
Dont misunderstand me oh, I am not blaming you but the system.
In other countries, a 28 year old already has kids and a mortgage.
Anyway, op, you are not ready to get married at least for the next 5 years by which time she will be over 30.
Free her to move ahead jare. Later later you sef will catch one chassis 22 year old to marry.

cococandy:
After waiting for you to see how ideal y’all are , you’ll fix your mouth to call her old and inadequate. And act like you’re doing her a favor.

Na women wey mumu dey listen to guys like you.
I’d advice any lady to go with what benefits them and ignore guys like y’all.

cococandy:
1) In my opinion, not everyone had to have kids. If people get married to whoever they want to be with, then kids are a bonus. Not the sole purpose of marriage.

2) while 25 and below is young to get married, maturity varies by the individual. I did get married at a younger age than that and I don’t think I rushed it. It just happened at what I considered appropriate for me at the time. I would consider a woman who gets married at 30+ as also very appropriately timed for marriage. It just depends on how it fits into their life at that time.

3) if you think about it, a lot of women do give birth to the majority of their kids in their 30s. Maybe the first or second might be in their 20s but if they have more, it usually tends to be in their 30s. So I’d advice ladies to not despair and choose the wrong man because of what it considered late or early or on time. You can certainly grow and mature and pick a partner from the multiple choices you have whenever you feel ready.

My angst is with these guys who often speak out of both sides of their mouth.
One minute they are calling unmarried ladies unprintable names, the next minute they are acting surprised that young ladies are desperate to get married.
My dear, I can’t with them.

cococandy:
After waiting for you to see how ideal y’all are , you’ll fix your mouth to call her old and inadequate. And act like you’re doing her a favor.

Na women wey mumu dey listen to guys like you.
I’d advice any lady to go with what benefits them and ignore guys like y’all.

bigcee:
Dey wyne yourself

cococandy:
They rush to marry mainly because it’s men like OP who still mock them for not being married before 30.

While Biological clock may be an issue, a 30+ lady can have any amount of children she wants.
It’s men who shame them for not being married
And then turn around to wonder why they are in rush to marry.

brightfuture24:
I AGREE with everything you've said, though I have some reservations with the angle of number 1.

Kids may not be the sole purpose of marriage, but you have to agree they are a major one. I want to get married to anybody I find as the love of my life because I want to be with him, but then I also want to be a mother and build a family, as much as I want that companionship.
Many people have their brains wired to see marriage as 70% kids and 30% hubby-wife-love. The more romantic ones try to make the numbers 50-50. And there are those who don't want kids at all and just want to live and love their partners, and that is so perfectly okay.

So I think kids it's a solid enough reason to want to get hitched quite early. Not that it's the only thing you're going there to do, but it's part of it and it's best to start early.

cayorday89:
There are exceptions to these things, he could be different at least with his plans, not all guys are like that and not all ladies will take that action too.

BigBashiru:
Ladies do not choose men FOR MARRIAGE, men choose women for marriage simply because most women are liabilities and expect the man to "be a man" and take care of family expenses. Also the woman is invited by the man to live in his house and not in the woman's house.

A woman can only choose a man for marriage if household expenses are shared on a 50%-50% basis.

And after a woman chooses a man for marriage, the man is still free to have his flings if he wants.... he has more staying power on the dating market.

cococandy:
Tell yourself whatever you need to

Ishilove:
Pele o, Joseph Alala.


The nauseating double standards. Let's not go too far. Let's start with Nairaland here. Just take a look at many comments by the average male who are quick to make derogatory comments about spinsters who have gotten to a certain age, so why will they not feel pressured into jumping into marriage even when in their heart of hearts they aren't ready? Is it not your brothers that call then 'evening newspaper' and 'Shiloh candidate'?
Abi do you want your Nairaland brothers to call her evening newspaper because she is waiting for you to get your shït together? Girls like your ex are pressured into taking drastic steps by the society they find themselves in so yes, marriage is an achievement for many of them because they get to be counted among the numbers of MRS. They escaped the stigmatization of old age Shiloh husband hunting.

When I see posts like yours my belle dey sweet me. Yes, I said it with my full, J-cup shest.

Ogbeni lick your wounds and move on je ka gbo ran.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Ishilove:
Pele o, Joseph Alala.


The nauseating double standards. Let's not go too far. Let's start with Nairaland here. Just take a look at many comments by the average male who are quick to make derogatory comments about spinsters who have gotten to a certain age, so why will they not feel pressured into jumping into marriage even when in their heart of hearts they aren't ready? Is it not your brothers that call then 'evening newspaper' and 'Shiloh candidate'?
Abi do you want your Nairaland brothers to call her evening newspaper because she is waiting for you to get your shït together? Girls like your ex are pressured into taking drastic steps by the society they find themselves in so yes, marriage is an achievement for many of them because they get to be counted among the numbers of MRS. They escaped the stigmatization of old age Shiloh husband hunting.

When I see posts like yours my belle dey sweet me. Yes, I said it with my full, J-cup shest.

Ogbeni lick your wounds and move on je ka gbo ran.

jornwhite:
I can count a 1000 scenes in movies where ladies mock one another with marriage and situations where mother inlaws/sister inlaw mock wives for being barren, reality even says women are there own worst enemies.

We all know how mothers pressure there daughters into marriage, men don't have time for such nonsense

Iamziggy:
I no sure say she read anything... Na to comment Dy hungry am...las las na rubbish she talk.

luvmijeje:
See talk! If you are not married you are called names! We are shamed by families and by friends into marriage. We are been told if you don't settled down at 20's forget it at 30's. Society called women in their 30's different names. I understand why she couldn't wait

It takes a very very strong woman not to bend to pressure.

The single lives they are all afraid of is what they later end up with in their 30's and 40's but this time with kids. Is that not foolishness.

Moreign001:
If you said so... It's her decision. I'm already moving, but we're friends and not enemies.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

AfroKnight:
I wonder why people gloss over the glaring detail here.

Did the man fall down from the sky to engage her? The only reason she got engaged was because she was steadily cheating on you. If you like, turn a blind eye to that detail. It tells you about her sneaky dishonesty.

She has sized you up and decided it would take some time before you became buoyant enough and she believed she couldn’t wait for that long. So she dumped you and chose someone who is ready in her books.

It’s not new. Girls have been doing this for ages. When guys dump them they say we used them but when they dump guys they say they followed the man who was ready. Conveniently forgetting the fact that they cheated steadily before they chose the new guy.

Forget her and her fake tears and move on with your life.

Moreign001:
If you said so... It's her decision. I'm already moving, but we're friends and not enemies.