Vasectomies are meant to be permanent. Even if you get your vasectomy reversed, your fertility may never come back. Vasectomy reversal surgery is complicated and expensive, and doesn’t always work. So you should only get a vasectomy if you’re totally certain you don’t want to get someone pregnant for the rest of your life.

Sister leave that man alone, if you want to have only one child be the one to have the family planning done on you.

We can now see why you are not married after so many years, with this your mind set, you will have problems in a marriage.

Allow your man decide what he wants in a marriage, don't force things on him.

Mtcheww!!

First of all, you can't force your WILL on a man. And all cause it didn't go down well with him you are giving him attitude instead of seeing how u can convince and persuade him.

Do u have an idea of what you are asking him to do here sis? God forbid if smtin happens to that "only" child u will nau bring it to him that he should allow you get a sperms donor ahbi and if he refuses you will ask for divorce.

You will hardly get a man that will want to agree to that decision. He may agree to ur one child policy but not to go sterile cause of your insecurities. Mbok sister you can as well look for a man to service you and not marry. By so doing you will easily hv your one child all to yourself without worrying about infidelity.

#onelove

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Lol if you were really fair enough why didn't you trow multiple options on the table so you both select what is more convenient for the both of you.... Or rather since you brought the idea of just a child up and pressured him to agree to it which u know he reluctantly agreed why didn't you pick Tubal Ligation, since you are the one who wants just a child. How selfish... You write up is filled with self-aware pride and selfishness..... You can't always eat ur cake and have it... E be like u never tire for single girl lifestyle. BTW it is too risky to have just a child honestly, except it is God's will to give you just one.

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would you ask someone to give up their fertility?
-How far have you gone with him to dare to ask that of him?
-Do you know the magnitude of the sacrifice you're asking for?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

The babe is so selfish and ignorant ....she is probably not ready for marriage yet

.

nellyelitz:
You're the one that doesn't want more than one child, so why do u want to have him steriled instead doing that on ur womb. Anyway, u're a good fiction writer though.

Something is wrong with her.She nor well.After the first baby, na to marry another wife na person go do.Who has time for nonsense ?

You need atleast 2 anything can happen to 1

@Klass99,

Hi dear, I respect your position on the issue. As a matter of fact, the only reason I'm on this thread is because the OP tried to present the man as a bad person. It's very obvious and that's why it seems as though everyone is against her.

I don't see the so called "ulterior motive" in what the man has done. Whoever wants an idea with a grave consequence should be able to pay the price.

nellyelitz:
You're the one that doesn't want more than one child, so why do u want to have him steriled instead doing that on ur womb. Anyway, u're a good fiction writer though.

As in ehhh, she get better time

Mercychen:


A slight twist you call it but I've heard of so many women who later had issues with family planning they did.

It's easier for the men because their system is not so complex like that of women.



We already discussed about all the other methods especially condom and he said, for how long is he going to be using condom on his life time wife. He already kicked against the idea.

Woh, I'm tired.

Remove your womb or tie your oviducts.

Simple and not a big deal

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

If I were you, I would never go into any relationship with a man. You don't really need a man in your life. Marriage is not an achievement and it is not for everybody. Please free yourself and free the man. It will be good for both of you.

cedricksly:
Lol if you were really fair enough why didn't you trow multiple options on the table so you both select what is more convenient for the both of you.... Or rather since you brought the idea of just a child up and pressured him to agree to it which u know he reluctantly agreed why didn't you pick Tubal Ligation, since you are the one who wants just a child. How selfish... You write up is filled with self-aware pride and selfishness..... You can't always eat ur cake and have it... E be like u never tire for single girl lifestyle. BTW it is too risky to have just a child honestly, except it is God's will to give you just one.

She is not ready to get married .She should remain in her father's house .Some people will be disturbing God in Shiloh because of rubbish decisions

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

I think you should go for the female version n tie ur fallopian tube... you are self-centered.. u gave idea of a kid, now he should disconnect his own meter for u, is he CHRIST? SHOULD DIE FOR U?

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

If you happen to divorce or die, God forbid, so he can't marry someone else and have a child with his new wife

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

See Lucifer o.
You want him to stop releasing sperm?
His whole essence?
See witchcraft o.
A man you will eventually dump to swallow another man’s holy water?
I pity weak men.

Kobojunkie:
According to whom?

stop asking stupid questions!!!!

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

the guy is very right to have refused that your so called vasectomy. Yes. You want one child, have one child and stick to it. Don't force other to do what they don't want. Tomorrow, when both of you have issues, you will be the one that will start insulting a man you deceived into becoming a eunuch. You cannot eat your cake and have it. At least, after one child why do you want to keep your reproductive organs? Ok....... So that tomorrow when run away with another man you would not be termed infertile.

Nuttella:
I heard some kind men opt for vasectomy, that is after giving him enough kids, you can't give him one kid and render him infertile, that's not fair at all.

What about the ones the women do? If this story is turned the other way round, the reactions from people here will be different

Jus imagine they later divorce

Mercychen:


That youre not worth anything for a man to sacrifice for doesn't mean someone else is worthless. Ok?

You are really an ill mannered girl. You deserve no man to be honest.

You will definitely bring a premature end to a man's life.

Stay the fuxk on your own.

MummyD2020:


What about the ones the women do? If this story is turned the other way round, the reactions from people here will be different

The woman is the one that proposed the policy. She should bear the brunt na

If the man wanted one child, he should render himself infertile then.

Stop talking about table turning.

Prettiepearlz:
In my opinion, this is how marital problems start oooo. That man did not agree wholeheartedly with your one child policy, he reluctantly agreed after much conviction from you and no one knows how much energy you put into convincing him to agree to your one child rule. Personally, I am not a fan of plenty kids in this our not so friendly economy however it has to be an agreement that from both parties willingly and not reluctantly. That being said, the NO clearly means NO and it is an indication that they guy is not on board with your plans and probably plans to sort himself out in the future perhaps it could ego or ignorance about the vasectomy procedure. Besides you are the one who wants one child, the responsibility is on you to prevent yourself from having another. He clearly doesn't agree with your suggestions and you know it. Let him go and you can find someone who agrees with what you want. If you eventually coerce him into doing your bidding, he will resent you later on in your marriage and trust me you don't want to live with that. Find someone else who agrees with you and your wants and please let him also get someone else to give him the number of kids he wants. You two are clearly not on the same page. Finally your reasons for not wanting to be the one to do the child control is very selfish. You come off selfish with your assertions. I wish you both the best in your endeavours.

You just expressed my mind.
If the story is true, She comes off as a control freak.
First she's selfish with not wanting to go through the risk of family planning but wanting the man to take this risk.
Secondly, she wants to leave her option of having another kid open while permanently cutting of the man's option. If for any reason they lose the only kid, she can move on and have another kid with another man while they man is condemned to a life of misery
Smart men wouldn't fall for this.

What kind of selfish behaviour is this?? First of all you want to give him only one child. Next, you want his tubes to be cut, not yours. So if by chance something happens in the future and you separate, you live him with no wife, no family and impotency? Your selfishness carry First class o. I'm surprised he still called you after dropping you off at home.

Klass99:

@ The bolded, seven blessings and 21 kisses to you. I knew I liked you for a reason, your mind works in a similar fashion as mine and it often reflects in your posts.

You see the part in red ehn.......for years I was told by different people that I am weird, there's something wrong with me, I will never find an African man that doesn't want children, you should relocate overseas your kind/type of man is there, blah, blah, blah.

But, guess what? In this Lagos State where I reside I am aware of 3 married couples who as a matter choice, do not have children. It is not that they wanted but couldn't have for medical or spiritual reasons (like overly religious folks love to assume) it was a conscious decision.

Trust Naija people to always have doubts about the authenticity and reality of other people's stories/situations. They will be quick to assume these couples are lying or pretending about their reasons for not wanting/having children. I know two of these couples, the third I only heard about, from my neighbour who said, the guy he is telling me about is his friend and Igbo for that matter.

One of those couples are my elder brother's neighbours, which is how I got to know about them. The first time he and wifey mentioned them, they were like - we met some wonderful people like you, two houses away (wonderful in this context, meaning strange and mystifying ) who don't want children as well. One time my brother and his wife left their house keys with those neighbours and asked me to get the keys from my cousins, they'll be expecting me. I asked how are they my cousins? They responded you know nah, you are all wonderful people cut from the same cloth and we laughed about it.

The thing is, my brother and his wife banter with me about it. It is friendly banter without malice or vitriol, because they are open minded, they understand and respect what you said in this post JJ. On this same nairaland I have encountered a man who said he doesn't want kids, he inquired about a vasectomy and was seriously contemplating it. He even asked that we talk via DM/email, but I declined because his NL footprints were discouraging.

My point is that, there are indeed people who are deviating from the usual norm, for various reasons, they may be few but they do exist, right here in Naija. Then there are folks who don't understand them and they respond with lots of negative energy, insulting and demeaning without justification. Simply because someone says, I want a different path for my life.

JJ, I appreciate people like you and Hathor because of the mindsets I see, it's independent, unique, sound and rare. No herd mentality involved, respect ladies!

Thumbs up to your write up, and @bolded, thank you

Dreadshy:
What is sauce for the goose is also good for the gander... tie up your tubes if you dont want more kids, simple. Trouble will end, relationship restored

Exactly, you want to have just one kid no problem. Tie up your womb. Very selfish thinking.

I seriously don't know why some people fear having children. Maybe because I am a male and I wouldn't go through child bearing.

.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

he probably has ulterior motives. Protect your finances

One CHILD ke....
Mary the mother of JESUS sef no born ONE....
So you'll just WAKE UP one day and tell the GUY it's OVER.. Naso d GUY own go FINISH.
SEE D RESULT of too much ZEEWORLD and TELEMUNDO.... Me wey watch KOTO AYE , I talk about REALITY not FANTASY...
A woman that changes like WEATHER. wey fit see her NEIGHBOR TWINS come dey CHANGE MOUTH....

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Your fears are as good as his.
He also feels you have an ulterior motive, maybe to abandone him in later days.

Personally I would not take that risk, what if something wrong happen to the lone child, like if he or she dies prematurely, can you garantee that isn't gonna happen?And if that happens, you will remarry another, that's his fear too, don't be selfish in reasoning, put yourself in his shoes too.

What advise can you give to your brother who confide in you, that his wife to be is suggesting same?

My dear, that suggestion of yours is a very complex decision to make, implants in women make them dizzy and weak, it makes them have spotting almost all the time. It affects the well bring of the woman, but I will advise you use a reversible method, in case something goes wrong, or better still, like Ini Edo, you can froz some eggs for future use. Discuss it with him.

No!!! You are wrong. The female version is BTL (Bilateral Tubal Ligation)