₦airaland Forum

Babsojimjim:
The third party was first contacted by the lady and not the man, and when the man was questioned he had to respond.

Other advises of yours are acknowledged, but what would now be the fate of their little daughter,mind you she is not even having in mind to go stay with her parents but rather to visit them spend a day or two and go back to her accommodation at school where she recently graduated from. Of which the man does not want their little daughter to be in a campus environment again.

Maybe she is missing her school boyfriend.

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them!

Life is simple.
Why make it complex

His wife is an adult and has all her faculties intact. If she insists on going back to her parents house or she will commit suicide, he should let her go.

Just give her 1 or 2 months and go back to discuss with her and her parents.
If it ain't working, the man should let her be.

It's live and let live.
He should learn the lessons and move on with his life.

He might even be happier in future

She should just grab her things and leave now.
Or is she being inprisoned?

Babsojimjim:
She was never at any point forced to marry the man. God has used the man to support her school till graduation and her negative character during her convocation that provoked the man turned out to look like the man is at fault,as when she was scolded by him she started bringing past events that have been already handled.

The man was probably laughing at those who advised him to never train a woman in school.
The truth is that she never loved him. She married him because of the help.

What did your friend do to her

Yet another story of sponsoring women through school going wrong.

He should allow her go back to her parents. He’s the one who made a mistake.

Your friend has low self esteem for a man, and he keeps rewarding his wife's bad habits, she will never respect him. At this juncture she can cheat on him with men, and he would be looking for counselor and pastors to talk to her because he thinks she is his all in all.
If she really wants to go, let her go! If she is yours, she'll come back, if she doesn't, focus on your life!

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

Allow her go immediately

Marriage is not by force, the more he holds her the more trouble she will give him.

There are things u don't beg for and love is one of them.

Be a man.
Let her go to her parents house back.
Move on with your life.
Don't stay with someone that don't want to stay with you.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

What did you do to your wife in the past?

Let him let her go na. Or him wan pay money for burial?
There are over 10 million women in the country waiting for a good man to marry them

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

not all sins are forgiven, ur friend must have done something worst to that lady that is giving her terrible nightmares

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

[b][/b]

@bolded, what do you expect, do you think married women friends are always happy for them, women don't like themselves, all they do is jealous and envy themselves

So since she's still single and unmarried as you said, she would be flaming up the bitterness and quarel between her married friend and husband cuz she wants them become birds of a feather
.btw, why should the friend be staying with them since she knows she's married?

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

Unmarried friend came to stay with them? Did you mean her siblings or just friend?


Let her go back to her parents. Then structure yourself. Don't ever accommodate unmarried friend of your wife in your house. Help them with accomodation money if you can but not to live with you.

You deserve rest of mind as well. Although, you never mentioned what transpired but for safety first, let her return to her parents if that will cool things first.


Why are you afraid of her going to her parents? Call them and let them know what is going on.

Best of luck

Someone has purged her mind and you are still looking for ways to shut her mind off. Frustration is real. Let her go on a break, please! May be her parents will help to counsel her during her stay in their house to help decide the better option for her - to stay or to quit.

This happens in new marriages , she's just bored that's all..



Let her go and stay as long as she like, don't even bother to disturb her with calls but occasionally send her stipends, she will miss you and come back to her senses , by herself she will pack and move back in with you.

emmanuelbrown26:
LISTEN AND LISTEN VERY GOOD. PLS TELL THAT YOUR FRIEND TO ASK D WIFE TO STARR MAKING THE DIVORCE PRoCESS VERY FAST BEFORE YOUR FRIEND WILL LOOSE HIS SANITY.
THE WIFE'S FRIEND IS STAYING WITH THEM AND PROBABLY INSTIGATING HER ON DIVORCE, WHAT I COUOD GRAB FRON YOUR STAtEMENT IS THIS, YOUR SO CALLED FRIEND IS A GENTLEMAN THATS WHY THE WIFE IS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF HIS GENTLENESS TO HVBHER WAY. ALL SHE NEEDED NOW IS TO HV HER WAY, THEN YOUR FRIEND WILL SUCUMB TO HER DECISION.
WIFE FRIEND IS STAYING WITH THEM NO PROBLEM, SHOULD HUSBAND BROTHER OR SISTER COMES AROUND TO STAY, U WILL SEE ISSUE FROM THE WIFE.
WELL I ONLY BLAME UOUR SIMP FRIEND

Real red-blooded simp. No sympathy for such creatures. They are the type that come here to attempt at bullying real men that want to take control of their home, just to be seen as a gentleman. He will suddenly wake up and realize how abhorrent such men are to ladies.

Oluwatee1:
You never explain what actually happened. There will be reason why she opted for leaving. What are the challenges your friend is facing, is it financial, spiritual e.t.c. Share more light on it.

He Fvcked her best friend.

LilMissFavvy:
He has to be patient pending when the wife will want him back in her life, that's if it will ever happen, because only God knows how much he tortured her such that she wishes to go back to her parents or commit suicide. What do you mean by despite all that he has done to please his wife, so you are already taking sides? Okay ooooo.

Funny creatures. So you don't know you are already taking sides, with this your comments ?

As for me, the man should let go biko. Marriage no be by force

Babsojimjim:
Her character changed,no marital relationship, no care no concern, she prefers her friends instructions and advise to her husband, whenever she does wrong and is been corrected,she will turn it against her husband and start bringing up issues of the past that have already been resolved. This she has always been doing. But the man would still plead for peace. How can two couples live in the same house without intimacy for months, no sound communication etc, but when she needs money she does not hesitate to ask for it. The man has been the one canvassing for continuity but the woman seems to feel she is right and would still have her way out there.

For my friend to have peace and regain his sanity, hence the need for this post.

Do they have any child(ren) together?

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

huh

Aforxzy:
What are these accumulated pains of the past that she won't let go.

Marriage is not a bed of roses. We get on each other but our ability to forgive and let go is what keeps it going just like every other relationship.

Since she is threatening to commit suicide , the husband should let her go. Maybe then she can have a rethink and come back to him . if however she decides otherwise he should move on too.

You are thoroughbred. You type no plenty here.

UN-married friend

SHE CAN LEAVE THE MARRIAGE IF IT WILL SAVE HER LIFE, BUT CERTAINLY NOT WITH HIS DAUGHTER ; EXCEPT THE CHILD IS NOT HIS AND SHE HASN'T TOLD HIM YET.

Babsojimjim:
Yes they did explored and discovered that both couple can still forge ahead, the man has his own fault likewise the woman, but the woman always makes it look like the man is the cause. Prayers has been made and both of them agreed to have forgiven each other but the woman is still bent on leaving the house with their only daughter who is 6 years old

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

Let her go na. Or you want her to kill herself?

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

This bolded part is the issue.

The "unmarried friend" is waiting for the perfect opportunity to take over and become the Madam of the house.

Tell your friend to kick her out of their apartment, and see if things won't improve.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.

No other advise needed. She must be allowed to go back to her father's house first. Then, other things can come later to avoid stories that touch the heart.

Mercychen:
Was she bundled into the marriage in the first place? Mtchew!

She prolly wants to go back and enjoy single life or live a carefree live like her friend. That is what you get these days as wifes.

Lols, one would certainly wonder if she was forced to marry the man. Bringing up past issues because she got corrected is a lame attempt at justifying her wrong actions. I think the man has his own issues too, we all have our respective issues. But this issues shouldn't just stem up after getting married. What's the essence of dating, courting if one can't ascertain a good level of compatibility? The idea of screaming incompatibility after marriage is very stupid, unless in rare cases where partners hide their real nature from each other.

JovialJune:
You see that "accumulated pains of the past", I can relate or let's say I know of stories of such, that's why she is indifferent to him

What men don't seem to realise is that, how you treat/behave to your gf during courtship, determines how sweet your marriage will be, she may forgive whatever hurtful things you did, but she will never forget, after all she is human,there will always be a little disdain when she remembers and anytime she sees you, so men pls be good to your women, don't think that because you're dating her, you can behave anyhow, she is taking note of it all especially when the issue is unresolved, always treat your women right, it's for your own good.

You're wise.

JovialJune:
You see that "accumulated pains of the past", I can relate or let's say I know of stories of such, that's why she is indifferent to him

What men don't seem to realise is that, how you treat/behave to your gf during courtship, determines how sweet your marriage will be, she may forgive whatever hurtful things you did, but she will never forget, after all she is human,there will always be a little disdain when she remembers and anytime she sees you, so men pls be good to your women, don't think that because you're dating her, you can behave anyhow, she is taking note of it all especially when the issue is unresolved, always treat your women right, it's for your own good.

Lmao. See mumu talk

Wow! I'm guessing her father made that foxy decision and judging by that decision they want her to come home otherwise they would have clearly told her that she stopped having a room in their house the second she said I do. I'll advice him to drive her to her parents house, go with his father or senior representative from his family and clearly state that you are temporarily keeping her under their care for about a month. If in a month's time she still has this mindset then initiate divorce proceedings.
Meanwhile, always call, go there at least twice, thrice a week if her parents live nearby or once every two weeks if out of town. Make sure they know that you're putting in an effort to make it work. Be romantic, get sweet savoury flowers, chocolate, ice cream, perfumes, sexy lingerie. Do not initiate sex or love making, let her ooze of it. Get her mum & dad gifts. Take her dad out for drinks, hangouts. Spoil her mum too because she's gonna be doing the work on your behalf. Talk to your wife, anticipate her thinking, her moves and her actions. Dress new, dress young, smell of sex( mouth wash, fresh bath, sex provoking perfume, new shiny shoes, new naira notes, clean car, well perfumed. Take her out to a nice restaurànt. Not eatery O! If after a month she's still hanging on to that mindset or he's beginning to hear some hanky panky, my brother advice him to ask for his BP back. Dem no dey force woman wen say e no want again.

Babsojimjim:
Dear All,

The write up below is exactly what a friend is going through from his wife. Please what sort of action can he take?

Despite, all he has done to please his wife, called Reverend fathers and pastors to counsel them both, his wife is still indifferent to him and is threatening to quit the marriage, citing accumulated pains of the past.

Currently, she says she wants to go back to her parents house else she will die or commit suicide. The man called her parents, and their advise was that since she is his wife, he should decide if to allow her leave his house to come and see them (parents) or stay in his house that the decision is his as the husband.

At this juncture my friend is confused and dont know what to do again.

Even the unmarried friend of his wife who came to stay with them is not helping matter at all as she seems to be enjoying the challenge between my friend and his wife.

Please advise needed. Thanks.