Oga , just hire a good cook this period. This is a period of going out. There are places in mind to visit with your children and will never plan to even come back home.
My kids always look towards spending time with me than their mom cos to me, I am fun to be with. Any day I am at home, me and my kids try something different to eat, there is always the joy I always have when I am with them and they always appreciated it.
You can send your mother-in-law to come over for the Xmas and have a large family Holiday.

.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Compliments of the season you too. May you find happiness this season and beyond.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

You do have the power to terminate the marriage. If it's a court wedding, employ a lawyer and file at the nearest magistrate court. If it's traditional marriage, get your people together to go to your wife's people to return the bride price.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It's most probably an emergency. You said further down that her mother is sick. It depends on the nature and seriousness of the sickness. She wanted to be there for her mother in case she dies.

You my friend is being unreasonable for getting angry and wanting a divorce because your wife went to see her sick mother during Christmas. Is this the last chrismas that will happen before Jesus comes? Besides are you a child? To most men Christmas is for children. Abi you expect your wife to take you to see father Christmas?

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Family is supposed to be together every time (as situation demands) and not only at Christmas. Nothing stops you from taking the children out after she gets back. There is no law that says you can only take your children out on Christmas days.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

You mean you can't prepare ordinary salad? And you are proud to say that? Well should out to Niger Delta guys - We dey cook pass our wives. My children alway look forward too days I take over the kitchen. They all tell my wife that I am a better cook.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

It was an emergency. She didn't have time or state of mind to put her house in order before going to see her sick mother. Why can't you help her put the house in order? After all marriage is supposed to be a partnership and not a employer/ employee relationship.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Marriage is not about tribe or clan, but about love, understanding and respect. There are lots of marriages from the same clan failing, even couples from Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Her mum is sick and all you care about is your own selfish interest? You are very cruel and selfish.
Your kids are crying all day even though they are in your custody? You must be a bad father then. I stayed alone with my kids for 1 week when their mother went to the village to bury her elder brother. There was no crying.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

Women are closer and more emotionally attached to their parents than guys. Most women take care of their parents after marriage than men.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

You need to look into yourself and make necessary adjustments. You don't seem to love your wife and it shows. That's why she probably don't show you love too. You want to her to sexually satisfy you but you are treating her like a house girl. It doesn't work that way.
My bother look into the mirror, and there you will find your problems.

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.

Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.

Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

Every December Na stress. It is true it is women that are mostly good in taking care of parents though we guys also do our best, but my wife has 3 brothes all married, as it is Xmas none of the wives is around so the daughters fall on.

I'm not writing this long epistle just that I feel bad as I don't know wat to do, sexually I gain noting from her, financially she doesn't support, it is only challenges she brings to me. If it continues like this, I'll leave the house for months 4 her and let her brain reset.

And you deemed it necessary to publicize what happened in your marriage online!!!! Couldn't you fix it up yourself and stop trying to paint your partner black.

1x2x3:
Let your anger not be long in your heart. It's all about planning which she didn't get right but you sound like there's been so many things going on before this issue for you to be fed up 200%.

You have a house help, what's the helper there for? If you were the one that travelled, this same woman will take care of the kids 100% but she go complain if you don't do your duties of providing. Yeah, it's her duty as a mother to stay closer to the kids due to the bond so she could have planned better by providing what is necessary to make it easier for you whiles she's away. Forgive her.

If money dey and you can't cook then pay someone to cook for you and be sure you don't finish it so she can meet some when she returns. Don't make noise about this, don't make her feel like she can punish you with hunger, let her know you can handle all and feed well in her absence then watch how she will sit up the next time she's travelling.

. Best advice so far. May God bless you and your family

wirinet:

Compliments of the season you too. May you find happiness this season and beyond.


You do have the power to terminate the marriage. If it's a court wedding, employ a lawyer and file at the nearest magistrate court. If it's traditional marriage, get your people together to go to your wife's people to return the bride price.


It's most probably an emergency. You said further down that her mother is sick. It depends on the nature and seriousness of the sickness. She wanted to be there for her mother in case she dies.

You my friend is being unreasonable for getting angry and wanting a divorce because your wife went to see her sick mother during Christmas. Is this the last chrismas that will happen before Jesus comes? Besides are you a child? To most men Christmas is for children. Abi you expect your wife to take you to see father Christmas?


Family is supposed to be together every time (as situation demands) and not only at Christmas. Nothing stops you from taking the children out after she gets back. There is no law that says you can only take your children out on Christmas days.


You mean you can't prepare ordinary salad? And you are proud to say that? Well should out to Niger Delta guys - We dey cook pass our wives. My children alway look forward too days I take over the kitchen. They all tell my wife that I am a better cook.


It was an emergency. She didn't have time or state of mind to put her house in order before going to see her sick mother. Why can't you help her put the house in order? After all marriage is supposed to be a partnership and not a employer/ employee relationship.


Marriage is not about tribe or clan, but about love, understanding and respect. There are lots of marriages from the same clan failing, even couples from Enugu/Anambra.


Her mum is sick and all you care about is your own selfish interest? You are very cruel and selfish.
Your kids are crying all day even though they are in your custody? You must be a bad father then. I stayed alone with my kids for 1 week when their mother went to the village to bury her elder brother. There was no crying.


Women are closer and more emotionally attached to their parents that guys. Most women take care of their parents after marriage than men.



You need to look into yourself and make necessary adjustments. You don't seem to love your wife and it shows. That's why she probably don't show you love too. You want to her to sexually satisfy you but you treating her like a house girl. It doesn't work that way.
My bother look into the mirror, and there you will find your problems.

Thanks for the breakdown but 4 a man to break it down like this shows that u must be very intelligent but at same time jobless cos I can't see how a gainfully employed man can be breaking this,true we in season of love but my firm still running.
.Fastest don't always win the race,my wife mum have no life threatening sickness just arthritis,and I never objected to her travelling but let it be after Xmas,ok oga intelligent.

All she got to do is stock the freezer and rest I can do,even her elder sis that knows value of marriage all of us in same state is here with kids.

On state marrying from a close state or same state does not define a marriage,wat I meant a closer state wife can go cum bk same day.

So Niger Delta man drink ur sapele water in peace.i believe u drunk as u typed this.
Compliments

Before you accuse her, check yourself.But that notwithstanding, she should have put the house in order before leaving.Two wrongs don't make a right.

moorevic:


And you deemed it necessary to publicize what happened in your marriage online!!!! Couldn't you fix it up yourself and stop trying to paint your partner black.

So as online we all anonymous ,didn't seek ur opinion just shared an experience Oga perfect,if wanna share perfectly I go face book.Fun of nairaland is d anonymous nature.
So take a pill and Chill

akpunda86:


Thanks for the breakdown but 4 a man to break it down like this shows that u must be very intelligent but at same time jobless cos I can't see how a gainfully employed man can be breaking this,true we in season of love but my firm still running.
.Fastest don't always win the race,my wife mum have no life threatening sickness just arthritis,and I never objected to her travelling but let it be after Xmas,ok oga intelligent.

All she got to do is stock the freezer and rest I can do,even her elder sis that knows value of marriage all of us in same state is here with kids.

On state marrying from a close state or same state does not define a marriage,wat I meant a closer state wife can go cum bk same day.

So Niger Delta man drink ur sapele water in peace.i believe u drunk as u typed this.
Compliments

I am jobless as I have other (plenty others) jobbing for me. In fact I am on my bed right but I am still coordinating by businesses. If you have job for me, I would but mind, since you seem to be very jobfull.

Now, I am just giving you mature advice. Having been married for 15 years, I assume I am qualified to give you advice on marital issues. I had thought you posted the thread to ask for advice. I didn't realise you desired an echo chamber.

You have poor communication with your wife and you don't think of highly of her and her opinion. If you had better communication, you would have told her your conditions before she is allowed to travel. Under normal circumstances my wife (who incidentally is from Imo) cooks for 2 weeks at a time and divides the food in compartments in the freezer. So even if she travels for 2 weeks, we will not starve. You are the head of the family, you need to lead but in love. Discuss your requirements, plans, and aspirations with your wife in order to achieve a common goal.

I don't like the fact that you are threatening divorce on a very minor issue. You are talking like you did your wife a favour by marrying her.

Yes! Sapele water is our culture, but at the same time woman no fit use food do shakara for us.

wirinet:

Thank you my brother. The OP sounds like a male chauvinist with see marriage as a slave master relationship.

I tell you, I wonder the kind of Wimpy men we have these days.

Tallesty1:
Only the fortunate ones will meet the home at all

Hahahaha. The home must remain o. But you go still do that work wey you take break from.

wirinet:


I am jobless as I have other (plenty others) jobbing for me. In fact I am on my bed right but I am still coordinating by businesses. If you have job for me, I would but mind, since you seem to be very jobfull.

Now, I am just giving you mature advice. Having been married for 15 years, I assume I am qualified to give you advice on marital issues. I had thought you posted the thread to ask for advice. I didn't realise you desired an echo chamber.

You have poor communication with your wife and you don't think of highly of her and her opinion. If you had better communication, you would have told her your conditions before she is allowed to travel. Under normal circumstances my wife (who incidentally is from Imo) cooks for 2 weeks at a time and divides the food in compartments in the freezer. So even if she travels for 2 weeks, we will not starve. You are the head of the family, you need to lead but in love. Discuss your requirements, plans, and aspirations with your wife in order to achieve a common goal.

I don't like the fact that you are threatening divorce on a very minor issue. You are talking like you did your wife a favour by marrying her.

Yes! Sapele water is our culture, but at the same time woman no fit use food do shakara for us.

Haha compliments again bro .ur advice noted bro.sorry 4 wrong words used in this season of love.

Welcome her back with correct slap, she will think she entered the wrong house

GUY!!!!!
GUY!!!!

One gallon of Hennessey for you, sir

wirinet:


I am jobless as I have other (plenty others) jobbing for me. In fact I am on my bed right but I am still coordinating by businesses. If you have job for me, I would but mind, since you seem to be very jobfull.

Now, I am just giving you mature advice. Having been married for 15 years, I assume I am qualified to give you advice on marital issues. I had thought you posted the thread to ask for advice. I didn't realise you desired an echo chamber.

You have poor communication with your wife and you don't think of highly of her and her opinion. If you had better communication, you would have told her your conditions before she is allowed to travel. Under normal circumstances my wife (who incidentally is from Imo) cooks for 2 weeks at a time and divides the food in compartments in the freezer. So even if she travels for 2 weeks, we will not starve. You are the head of the family, you need to lead but in love. Discuss your requirements, plans, and aspirations with your wife in order to achieve a common goal.

I don't like the fact that you are threatening divorce on a very minor issue. You are talking like you did your wife a favour by marrying her.

Yes! Sapele water is our culture, but at the same time woman no fit use food do shakara for us.

When kids from abusive family talks you will know

tnerro1:
Welcome her back with correct slap, she will think she entered the wrong house

Theyoungmatron:
When kids from abusive family talks you will know

When kids from spoilt homes reply someone, you will know

blazetitov:


How is he a weakling? Does it not make sense for the wife to settle her home before embarking on her journey? Is her immediate family no longer her primary assignment? I guess you not even married.

Pele married man, so becos of her immediate family which still have the husband to take care of the children, she should leave her sick mother? Do u know the urgency of the call from home?

Dz man is just looking for where to wail and get cheap pity and I guess he know Nairaland is full of people like him. Dz is just one sided story. If you ask the woman, she too go talk ground go full

If you have made provision for her to do the necessary preparations before her trip you will not be here complaining, you claim money is not the problem, why then is there no food in the house, please, feel her plight too

I'd rather be from a spoilt home with sense than abusive home without conscience

tnerro1:


When kids from spoilt homes reply someone, you will know

How can you come out and tell everyone you can't take care of your children? Are you not ashamed of yourself?

She go rod comot this thing from here abeg

Mood11:
Maybe she's equally tired (of you and the marriage) and needed to take some time off..
Does she know you are here on Nairaland opening a thread about her?

Man up and take care of your kids. Don't worry about a perfect salad whatever you are able to make serve it to them with love

BTW, when you knew that women from Enugu or Anambra make better wives and mothers why didn't you marry from there in the first place?

I tire ooooo

KiNg0G:


bros, na life matter we dey talk about.
stop been self centered

what's the need for plan b? when she has a husband back at home?

When you were young, I know you didn't stay/put up with only your father all the time your mum was not present at home. It's only natural to know what you can do so your absence can't be felt like it is happening now. The man's issue is another thing and people here has addressed it. I won't use my kids to square up with my husband.

akpunda86:



Haha compliments again bro .ur advice noted bro.sorry 4 wrong words used in this season of love.

Thanks. Please make sure you give those children a memorable Christmas, take them out to a mall or cinema (avoid the beaches). Then when their mother comes back from the village, have a heart to heart talk. The situation might be more serious than she is telling you. Women are sometimes mysterious beings, they sometime expect us to be mind readers. Ask her why she abandoned the children when they need her for Christmas. Encourage her to pour out her mind about the marriage. Why does she not cook in bulk. Cooking everyday can be draining.

Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

BabaIbo:


You don't have a reasonable point abeg.

The guy you quoted made more sense than you 1000 times.

Is that how she used to travel often?
Same people like you will wyne if you travel and the woman is still calling you for upkeep money which you expect her to be able to offset till you're back, but you can't even play a small fraction of her role at home.

She should make alternative arrangement for her kids sustainance while she is away. It's no brainer. She should not use the welfare of her kids to prove a point to her husband.

Who gave her transport money to travel with? You! Where you informed? Yes... Did you grant her the go ahead? Yes.. so cus no soup inside fridge doesn't it mean there are no other things left inside the fridge to eat... You wudnt tell us those ones. When last did you give her soup money.. if u keep record ... U sud know wen soup will finish for another payment.. so bros park one side

mercyymai:



Pele married man, so becos of her immediate family which still have the husband to take care of the children, she should leave her sick mother? Do u know the urgency of the call from home?

Dz man is just looking for where to wail and get cheap pity and I guess he know Nairaland is full of people like him. Dz is just one sided story. If you ask the woman, she too go talk ground go full

Ok Ma.

I wish i could get a clearer situation from BOTH sides otherwise I cant comment on this issue

Theyoungmatron:
I'd rather be from a spoilt home with sense than abusive home without conscience

That’s your cup of tea asshole

akpunda86:
Good morning fellas and compliments of the season. Some are happy some are not but we all thank God for life.
Happy Christmas all.

Well fellas sincerely wish I have the power to terminate my marriage I'm fed up 200%.

Is Christmas season of love all families stay together but my wife left home to her villa to see mum, yeah is a gud stuff going home to see parents, but if well planned. We planned after 25th she can go at least stay with the kids, suddenly she said she wanna go, I let her go, just yesterday wanted to eat, our helper said no soup in freezer, Kai I have to go buy soup outside. Today 24th, I'm gonna go to market to buy soup stuff.

You even have a "Helper", yet you are here to complain about what exactly?

Kobojunkie:
You even have a "Helper", yet you are here to complain about what exactly?

Just 12 year bro Na kids companion bro thou trying hahaha.

I'm not complaining oga I just shared my predicament.This a forum buddy,

akpunda86:
1. It is very painful. I regret getting married cos in this season any sensible person knows families gonna be together. In fact kids need to enjoy it as we did during our time.

2. Salad we can't do, not that I don't have the money but I can't do it.

3. Her mum I told I'm not against ur daughter coming to see you, but she has to put her house in order first before embarking on a long journey.Makes me regret a lot of stuff marrying outside my state, infact one can remarry, my spouse no go pass Enugu/Anambra.
Her mum sick, going see her I'm not against, my kids all crying all day long mummy mummy, I try pacify them.

1. Who made this rule you keep throwing about that suggests family must be together during the season?

2. You can't cook or you don't know the way to the store or something?

3. So she went to be by the side of her sick mother and you are a leper where it concerns taking care of your own children?