Mac12:
First of all, i stay in Lagos...
I wake up 4:00 am, prepare breakfast and lunch(plus that of my mother in law who stays with me), prepare the children for school, tidy the kitchen and parlour, take the kids to school before heading to work, pick up the children by 4( cause of traffic) sometimes 5. On getting home, i start preparing dinner, tidy the room, wash sometimes(including hubby's wears and mother in laws'; with hand o), bathe the kids, feed them and get ready for the next day before making the kids sleep. All these and more I do without help. Mind You, my first child weighs 20kg( funny but true), he'll cry for me to carry him and sometimes, carryinghim makes him sleep faster. At a young age, I've started experiencing waist and back pain that i can't stand for long. With all these, why won't I be tired No single help. Even down to when I'm busy with chores outside and the children needs something, i must come and attend to them (The dad is there with them o but i will be called to come attend to them).

On cases whereby I fall ill, mos things will be left undone. Let me just stop here for now

Guy forget o, e no easy at all

RodgersAkpafu:

Well
The mother should also explain what happened that made the dad leave home in the first place

I'm not one to suppoef away matches
But I am also one who believes that it could be justified in certain instances

1Sharon:



Sex doesn't stop men cheating.

CaptainAyub:

That is if you're not the type wey get craze for head.
Cheap olosho na 5k around my area,you go fit negotiate 5k hotel too.
If you touch madam she do guy,you dress up comot,enta by morning feeling happy ee by the time e happen twice,if na the ones wey get good upbringing them ģo behave.

Daveambition:

Alaye relax.
Na when yu wife a woman yu go knw say dem get manipulative formats..
Yu either abide to most of their terms&condition or angrily leave the house, las las yu'll stil return home & by then; she sef go don strategise another method to provoke yu the more..
Hardman no be for wey punna dey o, conji go bring yu to ur kness begging..
Forget wetin most men dey form outside, behind close doors dem weak dyeee

LagosInter:


I often wonder if I can stay with one woman for years and still desire her sexually.



I doubt if I can marry and stay faithful given all sorts of temptations, big nyashes everywhere etc.

This is worse if the man is fairly successful and may not have money as hindrance.

HRprof:

Bros na 10k you want spend on olosho for one night, the money you refuse to give your wife for her upkeep, is easier said than done. When you calculate 10k into 5 times Olosho spending Your body go tell you that is cheaper to maintain a wife than to have side chicks or do olosho runs

Or11:


It might not always work, you know your wife and that's probably why this worked because you know her weak point. I don't mind doing the house chores with her but sometimes I simply forget

Kobojunkie:
If only these Young ones could learn these lessons now so they do not continue the culture of foolishness that ruined their fathers before them.

Ninisun:



Are you married? No be by mouth Oga.

Ninisun:



The denial is not mostly intentional, overwhelmed with house chores . Most married men become so unromantic that the wife loses interest in sexual intimacy.

eminemkayc:


Madam, I've quietly read some of your write-ups. If you are genuine and not an online fraud, send me a message privately let me see how I can assist with a token.

Mac12:


May God continue to shower His blessings upon you Sir. May heaven rain its blessings upon you this day and always o. Chai, you will never lack anything good���
Sir I sent you a mail sir...

cooooooks:
That their form of communication is toxic.

komodapson:


Nice one bro...ma men...
By the Grace of God, I can proudly say I have mistresses across south west...Ibadan, osogbo,Ilorin, ado, akure...Lagos- across the 3 senatorial zones...abule egba, gbagada and addo road...

But why do men of nowadays behave in this manner? where is the pride accompanying being a Man?
How on earth will I beg for sex? How...in what circumstances... Can't even imagine...

I do not blame the OP, I'll rather put blame on her Mother...for raising a SIMP...how on earth, is unheard off. Any he still has the gut, effrontery to come on Nairaland...
African men are fast losing their dignity & pride...so sad

Kellzzyy:

Correct man.
Don't mind all these pathetic men here who will stoop so low to beg for sex.
The very thought of it is even disgusting.

CaptainAyub:

Ma,also talk to your husband in a cool,calm manner and seek for him to help you out with the home chores
Tell am say d stress is getting to you oooo(cite your chronic back pain)and say you might collapse and go one day(God forbid).
Ask him if he wants to raise the children alone or with another woman?
If he doesn't make amends,just know you married a hoodlum , then you can start other plans like getting a househelp or preferably a young relative to live with una.
That's an extra mouth to feed but the relief will be much.
You can enrol him/her in public school to save costs

CaptainAyub:

Ma,also talk to your husband in a cool,calm manner and seek for him to help you out with the home chores
Tell am say d stress is getting to you oooo(cite your chronic back pain)and say you might collapse and go one day(God forbid).
Ask him if he wants to raise the children alone or with another woman?
If he doesn't make amends,just know you married a hoodlum , then you can start other plans like getting a househelp or preferably a young relative to live with una.
That's an extra mouth to feed but the relief will be much.
You can enrol him/her in public school to save costs

CaptainAyub:

If your husband is over demanding of sex in the above background, then he's not a good person and is inconsiderate.
My wife's work is maybe once in 2 weeks or less,we have 2 live-in helps,I also run a lot of the errands (buy this and that when coming home) even go and grind egusi,buy vegetables etc,plus there's young boys I get to run errands that involve heavy lifting for her when I'm not at home eg refill gas,buy generator fuel etc.
Na she get zee world and is always not in the mood for sex.I done threaten,beg,got my mum to talk to her etc she no wan change.
And I make sure she's satisfied 99% of the time except those days she just wants you to do and go.
In fact,she never knew what was orgasm b4 me.
So in this background,do you blame me?
And a lot of men are undergoing same thing.
I'm a doctor, ppl talk tell me things in confidence a lot..
U gotta just admit lots of women use sex as a bargaining chip which they start during single life and erroneously carry into marriage.
I done jump enta bush sha,my olosho de beg me since day b4 ystdy but na me de run
Na she de even go pay 4 d room I go reimburse.
Soon, I go relocate my school girlfriend and full blown extramarital affair go start.
At a time,no time

Mac12:



Lol..., you got me laughing hard. Hubby is not so demanding sexually, I'm just trying to explain why i complain of bein tired when he ask for sex.

CaptainAyub:


Ok.
Merry Christmas ma'am.

Mac12:



Lol, keeping side chic no easy o

CaptainAyub:

Na stress òoo.
been dodging her for like 1 month now,then last night she showed up at my workplace by 12:30 am unannounced.
Unfortunately for me,na our matron dey on duty last night(a rare occurrence). Na matron come wake me say a lady is asking for me,if she should send her away
Didn't know it was her until I went out to see and matron apparently knew say this one no be patient
E jus be me like make ground open make I disappear
Babe come de cry say I've abandoned her,looks like I've another girl bla bla.
Discharged her like an exhibit with all d cash in my pocket this morning she done de call say did she commit a crime ,that she just wants to be with me
I'm keeping her just for the satisfaction of knowing that if I want ...... and she de even demonstrate she wants me equally.
I've tried.
Won't blame myself.Dated only 1 girl 6 yrs out of 8 in med school, never saw another girl's pant thruout so cheating was never my thing.
Don't understand this one wey my madam de do,person wey de give me 3 times a day if I want b4 marriage suddenly started acting up immediately we got married.
Begged,threatened,cajoled,nothing worked.
Sorry 4 my long talk,have a pleasant day ahead and guard your health jealously ooo,na 30-45yrs old full neurology clinic now due to CVA(stroke)
I'm guarding mine by getting myself a side chic

Mac12:



Lmao... I'm literally crying from laughing so hard. Same with me o( any style hubby want sef, i dey game) but as the pressure from marriage set in, i gat to adjust. It's not been easy at all. Not like I enjoy it but it's the situation we found ourselves presently. We are gradually coming out of it.

Kobojunkie:
I don't understand!

How does a wife resorting to nagging her husband amount to commonsense?

CaptainAyub:

Mine has no reason ooo.
Not working, just gets jobs that takes her out of the house like twice in a month.
We have 3 kids,she claimed it was d stress,I got a nephew of mine to join us,plus we have a help in her 20s.I do half of the "buy this buy that" plus other small stuffs in the house.
Na zee world and Instagram she dey round the clock,the helps practically run the house.
Me sef I'm moving on but be like she never notice.
God knows I tried.

Klass99:


@ The bolded, seven blessings to you.

Just yesterday I watched my favourite crime documentary channel and it was about swingers/an open marriage gone wrong, horribly wrong.

That's not the first or only documentary I've seen about swinging ending badly for the parties involved. I think couples start out believing they can handle it, it won't affect or ruin their marriage, but down the line they catch feelings for a sexual partner, start plotting how to leave a spouse and if the spouse is wealthy, they know divorce won't favour them as they'll lose lots of money or a luxurious lifestyle. So, what do they do? Murder a spouse.

In some cases a sexual partner becomes possessive, jealous of the married couple, wants to just wreck havoc and ruin them. Forgetting the protocols involved in such a situationship. From what I've seen, it's not worth it, boring is safe and fine.

Klass99:


What are you saying? Is marriage itself not a life long relationship between two people, till death do them part?

On this same forum I have seen married people create threads to complain about the poor hygiene and dirty nature of their spouses. One was a woman complaining about her husband, the other was a man complaining about his wife and how in 3 weeks their house had not been swept and all.

If I was in the mood I would find those threads and put a link here for you to see, but I am not and I'm not here to argue either about what a man or woman ought to know before marriage, so please rest.

CaptainAyub:

Stop SIMPing about.
SEX IS A RIGHT IN MARRIAGE so far you are considerate about it (like not demand for it everyday) etc.
Whose job then is it to make the man happy?

Verysmart101:
So it's now the responsibility of a man to do house chores baaaa? What happens to him solely providing for them pls? Women of 21st century are just useless in nature