₦airaland Forum

Although you may not believe it because it is not apparent to you now, you have a great destiny! You've literally been handed the baton on an energetic level.

Being the black sheep of the family is a blessing in disguise but you need to walk the path to understand what you've been blessed with. The journey God has chosen you for is not for the faint hearted but if you were the chosen one in your family, then it is because you can endure it.

This site is packed full of resources to help you on your journey (if you eventually answer the call). Now, I may not be able to help you but if you have an open enough mind, courageous and actually want to do better, you may find that these pointers may send you on a journey.

https://lonerwolf.com/black-sheep-of-the-family/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHYQHk5RlKk

Phillipsburg:
Sadly I'm the one that has read so much books in correcting so many things in my life like I'm the most problematic person in the world. It's like I'm not born with everything other people were born with. I'm the one without self confidence, with low self-esteem, i find myself seeking validation and acceptance from people everywhere I go. I'm still the one who usually turn the black sheep in many situations I find myself. I don't have friends and I only manage to keep tab of some people online. I spend a lot of time online just trying to avoid all these situations.

To be sincere, I'm fed up. I feel really unlucky especially when it looks like things everyone seems to be born with, i always have to strive hard to achieve them.

Lindalilian:
Omoh, can you just summarize


Thanks.

gerrout! Lazy being. Wat is here dat u can't read if na prik u go read the bulge to ascertain the hugeness thru the guy trouser.

everythinggirly:
Please move out from that house. If you have money, rent a small space and furnish it small small later.

Most fathers are toxic and irresponsible but it shouldn't change the good in you because it wouldn't be a port for selling blames.

ode ,no be every father's be like yours

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

The difference between my dad and yours is that he doesn't do alcohol.
The worst thing that can happen to any person is to come from a troubled home.

Pay rent


Leave there

Some parents are heartless.

There are basic information missing. What are you doing? Schooling? Unemployed graduate? This will help in giving you practical advice. Truth be told, you need to relocate. This is for your sanity and self respect. Since your mom is okay with him and already use to his actions, there is little you can do to change the situation. You need to relocate as soon as possible, even the girl will get tired of the drama.

Most fathers are like that, once you move out , you will be free from all his wahala.

Avoid alcohol at all cost

Where be ur location make soldier come carry una papa, if he see u mama next time he go run

My dear brother, with my little research, out of 10 marriages that either or both of the siblings
of intending couple objected their relationship before marriage, 9 usually turn out to be......had I known.

What elder would see on a chair, kid won't see it even if he climbs tree �

Righteousness2:
When I see or hear things as these, I see nor reasons to appreciate GOD for the Privilege HE gave to I and my siblings to Have Parents who didn't put us through things as these.

Young man! I Have seen reckless Homes mend together again.
I Have seen almost radical homes come together again in Love.
The Rallying point of these Homes was JESUS Christ.

The Missing link in your Home is JESUS Christ. I can tell you that for Free.
If you can embrace JESUS Christ and Stand in the Gap in Prayer for your Home, you will be Suprised how GOD will mend every Broken walls and restore Love and Unity in the Home.

I Have seen it Happen and I Believe Same will Happen in your Father's house. But Somebody needs to stand in the Gap.

My beloved brother. God bless you. Keep up the good work, never slumber. Quote me if you see this message

See this guy o
U will go to ur girlfriend's house to chill and u dont have ur own house to chill. If u are tired of the situation get the Bleep out and start ur life far away.

You will never appreciate what you have until you lose it. You hate your parents because they oppose the girl you are in love with.

My advice: be the source of change for your family.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Before talking about marriage you need to rent an apartment outside that environment. Also, based on your father's experience despite his shortcomings he may have seen some traits in your fiance & her mother which may not be good for your marriage.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

If you're truly tired, you walk away!

You don't have your own place, but you're bothered about who you want to marry? Get yourself out of your toxic environment firstly abeg

If you feel living with him gives you heartache, go rent your own apartment nau. At least you'll know you're the master of your own. But if you can't rent an apartment and want to continue staying under his roof with that bitterness in you, guy think twice. Your mom would have seen some traces of the behaviors you so much detest in your dad, yet she married him.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Hello OP.
Sorry to ask.. How old are you.. What do you do?
The best thing to do in situations like this is to leave the house. Hence my questions above.
You should also sit your father down and have a talk with him, air your mind to him in a respectful way. If he doesn't change. Then you should change your approach towards him and put a stop to his misbehaviours in a stern and respectful way.
Sometimes.. I notice African parents see their kids as kids even when these kids are all grown up to 25 and above. So you got to man up and talk to your dad..
Please note that doing this may depend on what you do, age and your confidence level..

Sammy101111:
You they chase love but you don't have a own apartment even if it is one room with your own peace of mind .guy you dont need love right now you still they your parent house go and look for money and be a man .if you complaining na nonsense go get a place to stay of your own before loving

Best advice I ve seen so far on this issue.

OP, take to this.

Samakus:
The bolded is really quite unfortunate from you. How people generalize based on their individual 'unfortunateness' is still a mystery to me.

For the records! Most fathers are not toxic and irresponsible. Mine certainly isn't. If yours is, my prayers are with you

Most is just a 'sample' of the population.
He never said all father's are toxic

First of all the 3months you have waiting can u use it to look for something to add to ur person? Even if its babrbing saloon ? Three months is huge and enough to drive you crazy if not well managed.

I wish you goodluck and happy new year in advance

Nawaooo ....

May God see you through.....

This wasn’t a long read

However u have to exile your self from your household

Omo!
I am just hoping that one day I can summon up the courage to look into my neighbours eyes and insult him or beat the hell out of him.
This man does exactly the same thing to his kids, curses the kids all the time and the mother and I am beginning to wonder if he birthed them.
So sorry for what you are going through.
Just pray you make it so to take your mother out of his messy life

Rent a room far from them and start your hustle from there. You'll be able to focus better and you'll start gaining respect when you're not always around. At a certain point you'll be able to confront your dad. But right now, just move out and face your life.

Your dad may be acting out of bottled up frustration of not being very successful because of all the expenses of providing for a family.

It's time you move out and start your own life.

Learn crypto along the way but learn valuable digital skills like video editing and programming and photo editing. With these you can start freelancing on Fiverr while hustling through other means.

Don't be scared you won't be able to afford your rent and food. Have a plan to be successful and start working on it from today so you don't end up like your dad.

Take heed Phillipsburg

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

how old are you? Can't you just leave the house and plan for your life?

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Dear OP,

I think it's best you go as far away from your parent as possible, I'll suggest another state, take your girl along and get married in a registry.

You can both return for the traditional marriage when your parents are no more or when they're very weak to be an issue.

Bottom line here is for you to go far away from those kind of parent, you can always send them money for upkeep when you have it.

Phillipsburg:
It's a long read because I had to pour out my mind wholeheartedly. Please endeavor to read through.



I so much hate my dad right now. And even my mom for supporting him. I can always remember how unfortunate it is for me to find myself in this family in the first place. Infact, not having a family is better than this living hell I found myself because these people are bent on ruining my future with their own life.

My father is the person who will be fighting with my mom in a brutally physical manner where they'd be running after themselves in the street after almost stripping themselves naked. He's the one who doesn't know how to reprimand his children except by using curses. He's the one who would go out and come back drunk and turn everywhere upside down. All these I've endured for almost every part of my life and my mom has refused to leave him saying because she has kids for him.
I know some of you people will start saying all manner of things about how you would have cherished your parents if you had one blah blah blah but this is hell. It's choking me I feel like dying.

I just met a girl who happened to be my girlfriend and we've been together for some time now and my father is help bent on separating us because he doesn't want me to marry close to him so that there wouldn't be clashes between him and the mother of the girl because he feels the woman is a violent person.
As they've turned the house into a place of sorrow, i couldn't think of spending even a minute inside the house. I usually spend the evening with this girl at her place and return when everyone at home must have slept. The next thing was for him to start cursing at the girl and even threatening to go to her house and throw tantrums.
I just want to get out of all these because it's choking me. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm losing my mind because of everything. The emotional torture I feel whenever they start fighting. How angry I feel when he starts cursing everyone and shouting at us in front of the house and disgracing everyone of us throughout the whole neighborhood. The way he go about gossiping and talking bad about his own children and wife to outsiders and the whole neighborhood. I'm sick of everything.

I just wish I was born without a family because I'm even afraid of imbibing his behaviors and acting like him when I later settle down. I will never forgive him for making me become who I don't want to be.

Mumu pikin instead of you to be working on how to help your dad stop abusing alcohol so as to regain his mental health that will in turn reshape the family you are here insulting him together with your mum see let me tell you your father's actions are as a result of alcohol intake so try look for ways to stop him and see if he will not change...

Calm down Philip, your parents cant ruin your life....in fact, your life is still well ahead of you. Biko manage him as much as you can until you are able to leave. People like your dad eventually grow into miserable old men....may God help him.

Meanwhile,stop being too emotional and focus on the lessons at hand. Violent marriages affect not just the couple but their children, neighbours and every other stakeholders connected to them. The perpetrator is mostly hated, he/she wont be freely loved, his/her health in jeopardy, happiness far from them....etc. You just calm down and keep learning until you are able to leave.

Lindalilian:
Omoh, can you just summarize


Thanks.

You booked front page to say this rubbish

Op was your father sack from his place of work and had to manage somewhere or what? Trying to figure where the frustration from his side come from? Is the habit been there since inceptive? Your mom can't just stay with your dad only? She need to pray and fast for your dad if she truly love him and believe in power of prayer otherwise she will just stay with him and hope miracle will happened just like that.

You are not the solution to the problem, its your mom who can handle it with God. Locate better mountain where prayer is always hot, 3days ,7days or 14days with prayer and fasting. I pray God answer our prayer ooo