₦airaland Forum

Chreze:
I think sharing experiences helps give the reality of things. Make I share my story.

I have always believed in carrying my load (family) to everywhere I go to. My reasons are:

1. I get this inspiration when I see them.

2. I want them to enjoy everything I enjoy.

3. Financially I believe it will be too much having to keep my family in Naija or anywhere else and me being away. The maintenance cost will be high, as I will be doing everything in two’s …

4. Naija is not a safe place. What that means is you will always have your BP going up and down with the constant security issues in Nigeria (kidnapping and killing)

Even before our child came to the picture we traveled together and when one was going for training, the other will look for a short course to do (this is expensive, part of the reason our child came 2yrs after our marriage). This helped us grow together, as well as have similar-same goals.

Fast forward to coming to the UK. My wife was watching our son while I attend classes and do my part time crypto trading. We were good. Could afford all we needed. But I noticed my wife wasn’t happy as she felt like she should be working to help out financially. I tried to explain to her that the most important thing was helping the family which she was doing already. After my first semester I had no other option as having an unhappy partner is the last thing any man wants so I gave in and she got a Job.

Now the battle was taking care of a 2years old active male child, attending classes, and trading crypto daily (cos new variance of covid regularly means business could shut down again). The first weeks wasn’t funny as it was a lot for me. My wife tries to bath him and give him breakfast before she leaves. But some days it was too early and I don’t like to wake someone up from sleep to do anything. (In fact I still carry one of my mum sister for mind cos she use to wake me up then for irrelevant things).

It was challenging, in fact for the first time in my life, I thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come with them to the UK together. That was the first time I ever had that thought and was unhappy to even think that way. Luckily the next day was my wife’s off and early in the morning 7am, I took a 20mins walk just to get my mind and head together. While I was walking I noticed how beautiful the city is and I immediately got a reminder of why I like to carry my family with me everywhere I go. Na there e con click say things can’t be the same with a child involved and that the best thing for me was to enjoy the challenges. And that was it.

When I went back home, I became my normal self. Already my wife was doing all the shopping in the house with her card and she wasnt using my card. So I started enjoying not selling my coins to have pounds. I just changed my mindset towards everything and decided to accept and have fun with everything that comes my way. I normally don’t take this sweet drinks as I prefer fruit, but we buy them cos my wife and son likes to take them. I told my self I was gonna finish the juice she buys in less than 2days. To my surprise she was replacing them after I finish am. For lectures, I attended only the classes that was perfect for me and my son’s timing and watched records for the ones that didnt suit us. For group meetings (teams and zoom) I was constantly muted and only unmute to contribute (of course before the start of any meeting I declare to them that I will be muted because my child is here and i didn’t want them to add “ one little finger to our project”). I played with everything that concerned him and school. There was a day I was having a project meeting with one of my team and a guy asked if I had any final note to add to our work I just type “ twinkle twinkle little star” . They all started laughing and i told them thanks for accepting most of my contributions via chat rather than the usual call.

Now for result, first semester with my wife watching our son, I got only B’s and 1 D (no A’s). For the second semester I had combined duties , I got equal number of A and B with only 1C (the C was in a 10unint course, I believe it won’t matter much) . Third and final semester was project (result is not out) but I hope to get something better as I had a better understanding of time management and Timaya’s song - “this life I can’t kill my self o”.

Having kids and studying can not be an easy thing for any one weather man or woman. My advice is don’t try it, it stresses you mentally and if you are unable to manage the situation properly you will become aggressive towards your child (for doing children things).

To the lady that talked about her children and husband’s situation. You have gotten lots of good advise here from different people, I even had to share my story because of you. But don’t take any of the advise you have been offered, take only the one you and your husband agree to. Be careful not to force any of the suggested ideas on here to your partner, as this may not yield a good result. Just take your time and trust me the right idea will come to you. Remember you only got advise for the part of your situation you shared, they may not be the best idea considering your situation (which as human we can’t share completely with anyone except God).

For anyone (weather man or woman) considering coming to the UK with kids and partner. Just know that it won’t be easy, even money can’t do it (if you care a lot about who is actually watching your child) and the man must be ready to take care of the child(ren) after-all na you born them.

One thing I have told myself in this life is that I will have the best and perfect relationship with my child(ren). I want them to be able to share any and everything with me knowing that I won’t judge them but love them.

Last last na God de help us. So always seek for him in everything.

DFmum:
Am not schooling , working here in NHS Trust as a nurse. Just wondering why they gave one child and refused the other.

LagosismyHome:
There so many that bought lands in naija and after payment story enter the matter.... this your advice needs advice



Deride and curse you....are you living your life for others comment. You better set your set free and live your life for yourself

kaylov12:
Tesco app charges 8p/min, although it uses internet and generates some random numbers.

jesmond3945:
lol. Staying in Uk comes at a huge price. Is only when you invest back home that you would have something to fall back on.

LagosismyHome:
Great things happen when a couple work together. .... so many cultural things in Nigeria needs to be unlearnt .... welldone and more power to you and your household


A couple friend just moved, their latest fight, the wife said a wife is not supposed to bring one naira/pound into the household.... and the man feels he should not do a single house chores...I don't even know where to begin with such mindset

LagosismyHome:
Great things happen when a couple work together. .... so many cultural things in Nigeria needs to be unlearnt .... welldone and more power to you and your household


A couple friend just moved, their latest fight, the wife said a wife is not supposed to bring one naira/pound into the household.... and the man feels he should not do a single house chores...I don't even know where to begin with such mindset

Chreze:
. Make person no con start to de do like animal one day. because na animals de eat meat always.

LagosismyHome:
Great things happen when a couple work together. .... so many cultural things in Nigeria needs to be unlearnt .... welldone and more power to you and your household


A couple friend just moved, their latest fight, the wife said a wife is not supposed to bring one naira/pound into the household.... and the man feels he should not do a single house chores...I don't even know where to begin with such mindset

hustla:
Hello bro

Do you know how much the cremation costs?

That's exactly what I'd like

Lexusgs430:
£2500.....

EmmyKing86:
Hello everyone and compliments of the season.

So, I have observed that there has been a huge increase of mature individuals (not only here in Nairaland) with children applying and coming to the UK under the tier 4 students route. There is nothing wrong with searching for greener pastures however, more thought has to be placed prior to making this huge step under certain conditions. For instance, an applicant with his/her significant other with 3+ children coming via tier4 students visa. The applicant is restricted to 20hrs/week for work (can work full-time during holidays), the significant other will most likely get a minimum wage job with long hours, the children would need childcare (very expensive in the UK), accommodation with a family of 5+ living in a 2 bedroom apartment, the cost of living..............etc. Do you see my point? Here in the UK, the major cause of separation among immigrant families is due to finances.

Coming to the UK on the student route with all the family at once is extremely difficult and not ideal. The ideal scenario is for the applicant to come in first, test the waters and bring in the rest of the family following graduation and securing a job.

The intention of coming to the UK through the student's route may be to acquire permanent status and if this is the case, going to Canada may be the best option as there may be a possibility to get PR before setting foot in the country (I don't know whether this is still available)

Having said all the above, there may be some success story, but before coming via students route with family, think deeply about it.

Some Financial Tips

So, one thing dependants can do to bring extra income is to invest in YOUTUBE content creation (especially during the current pandemic). Yes, this is a good avenue for extra income as you grow your subscribers. The initial stages will be tough but with commitment and dedication, your channel will grow. For instance, your youtube channel can focus on your family settling in the UK, recording your lifestyle, and giving information due to personal experience to other Nigerians/Africans that might be looking to move to the UK under the same route. Another option is photography. Acquire a DSLR camera, start taking casual photos and grow to be professional and set up a business (while being vigilant about the UK immigration rules).

This is just a personal opinion as a lot of families have become financially stranded and later come to Church to ask for assistance.

My whole thing is to think critically before bringing the whole family on a tier4 students visa.

God bless and happy new year in advance.

hustla:
Wahala no come too much laidis

£2500 kwa

jesmond3945:
what is the essence of relocating to uk without anything to show back home. People will deride and curse you. For tier 2, I would not mind but not for tier 4. Imagine taking your last card to do psw for you and your family while hoping for the best. I see it as unwise.

Raalsalghul:
There's also the issue of applying for the Post Study visa with a family of four/five.

What are the odds that they will save 8000 to 10000 pounds before the program elapses?

It's very important they factor in that.

TheGuyFromHR:
Well said at the bolded.
Lamenting and ranting about the costs of all the numerous visas helps in no way whatsoever to change that fact.

Like every other significant action in life, prospective immigrants should research properly, assess their options and chances realistically and not Nigerian-style (hoping for the best), then make their decisions.

jesmond3945:
what is the essence of relocating to uk without anything to show back home. People will deride and curse you. For tier 2, I would not mind but not for tier 4. Imagine taking your last card to do psw for you and your family while hoping for the best. I see it as unwise.

Chreze:
Lol.

@lexusgs430 what of donating of organs? Sey if person donate NHs go handle the other parts of the body? Hahahahahahahhaha. You can’t donate and still get cost to attend to na Abi?

Una no go kill person with this dead body matter wey una bring come table.

Ladyzain:
Hello house please I need your advice. I have children 8&10 and another 3 years old .
I got an NHS job planning to apply for Visa.
Am concerned, will this children be granted Visa as I intend applying with them while the father apply at a later date due to work here in Nigeria.

IcecoldDon:
,

hustla:
From discussions on this thread, it seems entering the UK via the student route as a single person without kids is the best

Spoke to a friend who is currently with his family in London, baba just dey lament about bills and school fees - I doubt he knows that he will have to pay for psw for wife and kids also

Most people entering the UK don't have info about stuff I've seen on here and it's quite shocking. In all thy wanting to Japa, Japaing with sense and a solid plan - nothing beats that

A friend who studied Cybersecurity doesn't even know about the visa routes available and how to go about ILR, I jus dey wonder

When you ask them to read nairaland and source for free info, the default answer is always "I no sabi use am"

Mamatukwas:
*School fees? Why is he paying school fees if he doesn’t want to. Unless the kids are in Uni.

Chreze:
I think sharing experiences helps give the reality of things. Make I share my story.

I have always believed in carrying my load (family) to everywhere I go to. My reasons are:

1. I get this inspiration when I see them.

2. I want them to enjoy everything I enjoy.

3. Financially I believe it will be too much having to keep my family in Naija or anywhere else and me being away. The maintenance cost will be high, as I will be doing everything in two’s …

4. Naija is not a safe place. What that means is you will always have your BP going up and down with the constant security issues in Nigeria (kidnapping and killing)

Even before our child came to the picture we traveled together and when one was going for training, the other will look for a short course to do (this is expensive, part of the reason our child came 2yrs after our marriage). This helped us grow together, as well as have similar-same goals.

Fast forward to coming to the UK. My wife was watching our son while I attend classes and do my part time crypto trading. We were good. Could afford all we needed. But I noticed my wife wasn’t happy as she felt like she should be working to help out financially. I tried to explain to her that the most important thing was helping the family which she was doing already. After my first semester I had no other option as having an unhappy partner is the last thing any man wants so I gave in and she got a Job.

Now the battle was taking care of a 2years old active male child, attending classes, and trading crypto daily (cos new variance of covid regularly means business could shut down again). The first weeks wasn’t funny as it was a lot for me. My wife tries to bath him and give him breakfast before she leaves. But some days it was too early and I don’t like to wake someone up from sleep to do anything. (In fact I still carry one of my mum sister for mind cos she use to wake me up then for irrelevant things).

It was challenging, in fact for the first time in my life, I thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come with them to the UK together. That was the first time I ever had that thought and was unhappy to even think that way. Luckily the next day was my wife’s off and early in the morning 7am, I took a 20mins walk just to get my mind and head together. While I was walking I noticed how beautiful the city is and I immediately got a reminder of why I like to carry my family with me everywhere I go. Na there e con click say things can’t be the same with a child involved and that the best thing for me was to enjoy the challenges. And that was it.

When I went back home, I became my normal self. Already my wife was doing all the shopping in the house with her card and she wasnt using my card. So I started enjoying not selling my coins to have pounds. I just changed my mindset towards everything and decided to accept and have fun with everything that comes my way. I normally don’t take this sweet drinks as I prefer fruit, but we buy them cos my wife and son likes to take them. I told my self I was gonna finish the juice she buys in less than 2days. To my surprise she was replacing them after I finish am. For lectures, I attended only the classes that was perfect for me and my son’s timing and watched records for the ones that didnt suit us. For group meetings (teams and zoom) I was constantly muted and only unmute to contribute (of course before the start of any meeting I declare to them that I will be muted because my child is here and i didn’t want them to add “ one little finger to our project”). I played with everything that concerned him and school. There was a day I was having a project meeting with one of my team and a guy asked if I had any final note to add to our work I just type “ twinkle twinkle little star” . They all started laughing and i told them thanks for accepting most of my contributions via chat rather than the usual call.

Now for result, first semester with my wife watching our son, I got only B’s and 1 D (no A’s). For the second semester I had combined duties , I got equal number of A and B with only 1C (the C was in a 10unint course, I believe it won’t matter much) . Third and final semester was project (result is not out) but I hope to get something better as I had a better understanding of time management and Timaya’s song - “this life I can’t kill my self o”.

Having kids and studying can not be an easy thing for any one weather man or woman. My advice is don’t try it, it stresses you mentally and if you are unable to manage the situation properly you will become aggressive towards your child (for doing children things).

To the lady that talked about her children and husband’s situation. You have gotten lots of good advise here from different people, I even had to share my story because of you. But don’t take any of the advise you have been offered, take only the one you and your husband agree to. Be careful not to force any of the suggested ideas on here to your partner, as this may not yield a good result. Just take your time and trust me the right idea will come to you. Remember you only got advise for the part of your situation you shared, they may not be the best idea considering your situation (which as human we can’t share completely with anyone except God).

For anyone (weather man or woman) considering coming to the UK with kids and partner. Just know that it won’t be easy, even money can’t do it (if you care a lot about who is actually watching your child) and the man must be ready to take care of the child(ren) after-all na you born them.

One thing I have told myself in this life is that I will have the best and perfect relationship with my child(ren). I want them to be able to share any and everything with me knowing that I won’t judge them but love them.

Last last na God de help us. So always seek for him in everything.

Mamatukwas:
Compliments of the Season everyone.

Please is there anyone on here who successfully came to the UK as a Sponsored Care Worker? Now that the Uk is looking to make it a thing I’m just wondering if any registration is required (similar to GMC) and which boards/ places it’s best to look to get roles that are sponsored for this field.

If you know or have info please share. Thank you.

fatima04:
For people bringing in older parent or relatives, please ensure you obtain travel insurance for them. AXA mansard is quite cheap and prevent the below situation.

I have been seeing too many heartbreaking stories like this on the Canada groups and thought to share.


https://www.gofundme.com/f/ryc7q-support-for-the-otaigbes-family?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer

IcecoldDon:
As other people have said, I would advice you seriously to just focus on yourself and completely ignore external comments or opinions. They NEVER matter in the long run.

Ladyzain:
Hello house please I need your advice. I have children 8&10 and another 3 years old .
I got an NHS job planning to apply for Visa.
Am concerned, will this children be granted Visa as I intend applying with them while the father apply at a later date due to work here in Nigeria.

jesmond3945:
is not about me. I am talking in general terms. If we don't care what people would say then why do we send money back home to our people? We can as well ignore them.

dubaiprince:
They should be granted visa as long as there is a letter jointly signed by both parents agreeing to the kids travelling with their mother. The signed letter would be submitted as part of the visa application.

hustla:
Wahala no come too much laidis

£2500 kwa