Please How Do I Address This Issue - Family (2)

Please How Do I Address This Issue - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Please How Do I Address This Issue (2209 Views)

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Omakraid(f): 8:14pm On Dec 30, 2021

She should know by now that the paper is with you. Don't give her the original copy, take her to her parents house without allowing her notice anything and present it to her dad and mum while gisting, tell them you want her to give you an explanation in their presence. That act will destabilise all the lies she might have cooked up if any and you'll find a resolution

3 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by StreetFight: 8:14pm On Dec 30, 2021

This one married an experienced Olosho.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by StreetFight: 8:15pm On Dec 30, 2021

EkehPraise:
Bro,

She's cheating on you.
The pregnancy was not yours.
She's not yours too.

Take heart.

This truth is too bitter to swallow. But, it's the pure truth.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Truvelisback(m): 8:20pm On Dec 30, 2021

I'm salt of words.

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Kobojunkie: 8:26pm On Dec 30, 2021

Omakraid:
She should know by now that the paper is with you. Don't give her the original copy, take her to her parents house without allowing her notice anything and present it to her dad and mum while gisting, tell them you want her to give you an explanation in their presence. That act will destabilise all the lies she might have cooked up if any and you'll find a resolution

What in the world? undecided

2 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Omakraid(f): 8:29pm On Dec 30, 2021

Kobojunkie:
What in the world?

Yes, that thing in the world that made her do that.

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Stargurl20(f): 8:30pm On Dec 30, 2021

Probably she isn't ready to be a mother.

2 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Kobojunkie: 8:44pm On Dec 30, 2021

Omakraid:
Yes, that thing in the world that made her do that.

Why report her to her parents? Why bring outsiders into the marriage? undecided

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 8:44pm On Dec 30, 2021

Mood11:
This one is deep.
The heart of ~~man~~ woman is desperately wicked.
You will need wisdom to handle this.
Calm down, take your time and do some more snooping, you will definitely find out more revelations which may break your heart but will aid you to how you can handle the issue.
If she doesn't open to you on her own, just keep calm and do your findings.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by ADAMUdaCOWBOY: 8:47pm On Dec 30, 2021

Mamayam:
Ahh, op. She is a good woman sef. She aborted the baby to avoid paternity fraud.

She is not a good woman, she is a bitch! She knows DNA tests are now as cheap as kuli kuli!

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Omakraid(f): 9:13pm On Dec 30, 2021

Kobojunkie:
Why report her to her parents? Why bring outsiders into the marriage?

If the guy is a No nonsense guy and he throws her out, won't outsiders (her parents) get involved and would they not ask why he didn't report to them? Na abortion she do fa, what if something else happened in the abortion room or complications after she got home, the innocent husband has no choice but to inform the parents before they tie him to the demise (God forbid).
My dear, If you don't want outsiders to chook mouth in your matter, Don't do what will make them chook mouth o.

2 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Kobojunkie: 9:20pm On Dec 30, 2021

Omakraid:
1. If the guy is a No nonsense guy and he throws her out, won't outsiders (her parents) get involved and would they not ask why he didn't report to them? Na abortion she do fa, what if something else happened in the abortion room or complications after she got home, the innocent husband has no choice but to inform the parents before they tie him to the demise (God forbid).
My dear, If you don't want outsiders to chook mouth in your matter, Don't do what will make them chook mouth o.

Why do you assume parents have to be involved if she ends up having to end her marriage though , why? undecided

Informing relatives of the passing away of a loved one is one thing but involving relatives when there is marital issue is another entirely separate issue, don't you see. undecided

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Biglittlelois(f): 9:25pm On Dec 30, 2021*

Op how is it that you are this calm that you've not confronted her about it? Calm and composed enough to bring your issue here?

Either this story is fiction or you are a slow and dangerous human, cos even I would have raised hell by now.

5 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Omakraid(f): 9:32pm On Dec 30, 2021

Kobojunkie:
Why do you assume parents have to be involved if she ends up having to end her marriage though , why?

Informing relatives of the passing away of a loved one is one thing but involving relatives when there is marital issue is another entirely separate issue, don't you see.

For the first question, if her marriage ends, both parents automatically comes in because they want to know what happened and how they can savage the situation in order to get the couple back together. No parent prays for their children's marriage to end, neither will hers.

Then, there are some issues that when they occur you have to carry the family along. Do you think if she had passed, it would just be easy to tell her parents like that without they demanding what he used their daughter for, if eventually they get to know it was from abortion complications, how us he ever going to prove he wasn't aware of the pregnancy let alone the d&c? That's when you hear parents say they know their daughter and she had never been promiscuous, who would believe the guy except his own family? So its better he doesn't keep such, let the parents at least be in the light for future purposes. My Opinion

1 Like

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by jesmond3945: 11:18pm On Dec 30, 2021

Lucaslookers:
Please I need serious advice here because I am so confused right now.

My wife and I have been married for a year now. We've been having intercourse without protection as man and wife and of course I have been expecting her to conceive which has not been the case. I am not really bothered because we are still young and new in our marriage.
Yesterday we were supposed to have a get together with our business partners and friends and we were supposed to use my car but somehow after I tried to start the car, it didn't respond so I told my wife let's use hers which she agreed. We got into the car and she remembered that she had left the gift we intended giving one of our friends so she went back inside to get it.
I was in the car, then I opened the arm rest to put my phone and our Earbuds inside when I saw a white paper. Out of curiosity I took it out and opened it. On the top was written "Choice Laboratories" but before I could read what was inside my wife came out so I hid the paper in my pocket.
When we got to the event venue I rushed into the toilet to read what was in the paper and it was "abortion completed".
I didn't understand what it meant because my wife never told me she was pregnant talkless of aborting for any reason. Even if anything was wrong why didn't she tell me rather she hid it.
I snapped it and sent to a doctor friend and he confirmed it that the result is from a scan showing that my wife had just had an abortion. I have not been myself since yesterday evening.
She's been uneasy since morning and I know she is searching for the paper.

Please married men, how do I handle this in a matured way? I don't want to be rough about it because I suddenly feel my wife is hiding many things from me.

whatever decision you take is all good. Your wife is not a good person if she had an abortion for whatever reason while in marriage. If she was single or raped it is a different ball game. I think why she has not gotten pregnant yet by you while married is because she is actually pregnant. I dont know who the father is. Confront her now and settle the matter once and for all. God saw your heart and exposed this to you.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by eyinjuege: 12:08am On Dec 31, 2021

Ask her na.
Abortion is used interchangeably with miscarriage in medical terms.
Was it a scan result? Or the receipt for a procedure?
A complete abortion is when a miscarriage happens and everything in the womb is out. Did your wife just have a miscarriage? Many miscarriages happen even before a woman is aware she was ever pregnant and they assume it is a delayed period that is showing up.
An incomplete abortion is when you have some retained products of the fetus after a miscarriage has happened.
A threatened abortion is a miscarriage that may happen but hasn't yet and the woman is bleeding but the fetus is still viable
An inevitable abortion is a miscarriage that will surely happen because the opening to the womb/cervix is open already and thd fetus will surely fall out.
Etc
These are all miscarriages but called abortions in medical terms.
It doesn't mean they've carried out an illegal abortion.
So best ask her.
If it's just the report of a scan, I will assume she just had a miscarriage.
If iit's an invoice, she has to explain what kind of invoice that is. Though I wouldn't think you would write an official receipt for an abortion in a country where it's illegal.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by obo389(m): 4:36am On Dec 31, 2021

MufasaLion:
Damn!!!

Well, it's possible she got another guy and she got pregnant just to kmow if she was the problem. Maybe she couldn't pinpoint the real father of the foetus and she had to abort just to be safe and avoid paternity fraud issue. On the other hand maybe the pregnancy was yours and she had been faithful all along!

The only and best advise is that you should confront her and talk to her about what you saw. You can't expect us to give you any other advise from that.

GBAM!!!
Confront her bro.
The earlier the better so your mind will have peace.
Women sha huh

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by NoToPile: 5:19am On Dec 31, 2021

Lucaslookers
Are you very sure she didn't have a miscarriage maybe she suspected something and went for a scan only to hear she's lost the baby and she didn't even bother to tell you about both the pregnancy and the miscarriage since she might have not even known she was pregnant.

Ask very well oo.

Thats how people open threads back then using pregnancy age on early scan to calculate if they are the owners of the baby forgetting the 2weeks the medical people add, claiming they are not the owners of the baby.

I am very surprised even your so called doctor friend couldn't tell you it might be a miscarriage.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by AmazonTopaz(f): 8:41am On Dec 31, 2021

eyinjuege:
Ask her na.
Abortion is used interchangeably with miscarriage in medical terms.
Was it a scan result? Or the receipt for a procedure?
A complete abortion is when a miscarriage happens and everything in the womb is out. Did your wife just have a miscarriage? Many miscarriages happen even before a woman is aware she was ever pregnant and they assume it is a delayed period that is showing up.
An incomplete abortion is when you have some retained products of the fetus after a miscarriage has happened.
A threatened abortion is a miscarriage that may happen but hasn't yet and the woman is bleeding but the fetus is still viable
An inevitable abortion is a miscarriage that will surely happen because the opening to the womb/cervix is open already and thd fetus will surely fall out.
Etc
These are all miscarriages but called abortions in medical terms.
It doesn't mean they've carried out an illegal abortion.
So best ask her.
If it's just the report of a scan, I will assume she just had a miscarriage.
If iit's an invoice, she has to explain what kind of invoice that is. Though I wouldn't think you would write an official receipt for an abortion in a country where it's illegal.

Lucaslookers read this thoroughly and ask your wife

2 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Nobody: 9:23am On Dec 31, 2021

Chaiiii op. Walahi I de feel bad for you .. dman!

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by AYNL: 10:26am On Dec 31, 2021

it's either you're not the owner of the pregnancy she aborted

or

she's not ready go mother a child

sit her down and let her know what you saw,and ask her why she'd do that

finally,no chase her comot o abeg

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Magnoliaa(f): 11:00am On Dec 31, 2021

AmazonTopaz:
Lucasl ookers read this thoroughly and ask your wife

Na fake story, sis. In their tradition.

3 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by AmazonTopaz(f): 11:02am On Dec 31, 2021

Magnoliaa:
Na fake story, sis. In their tradition.

I won't be surprised.

3 Likes

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by Lucaslookers(op): 11:20am On Dec 31, 2021

AmazonTopaz:
Lucaslookers read this thoroughly and ask your wife

Okay. I am following up with the comments I really take them seriously.
I am calm. I don't want to overreact.
Because I don't want blood on my hands.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by efficiencie(m): 11:51am On Dec 31, 2021

Lucaslookers:
Please I need serious advice here because I am so confused right now.

My wife and I have been married for a year now. We've been having intercourse without protection as man and wife and of course I have been expecting her to conceive which has not been the case. I am not really bothered because we are still young and new in our marriage.
Yesterday we were supposed to have a get together with our business partners and friends and we were supposed to use my car but somehow after I tried to start the car, it didn't respond so I told my wife let's use hers which she agreed. We got into the car and she remembered that she had left the gift we intended giving one of our friends so she went back inside to get it.
I was in the car, then I opened the arm rest to put my phone and our Earbuds inside when I saw a white paper. Out of curiosity I took it out and opened it. On the top was written "Choice Laboratories" but before I could read what was inside my wife came out so I hid the paper in my pocket.
When we got to the event venue I rushed into the toilet to read what was in the paper and it was "abortion completed".
I didn't understand what it meant because my wife never told me she was pregnant talkless of aborting for any reason. Even if anything was wrong why didn't she tell me rather she hid it.
I snapped it and sent to a doctor friend and he confirmed it that the result is from a scan showing that my wife had just had an abortion. I have not been myself since yesterday evening.
She's been uneasy since morning and I know she is searching for the paper.

Please married men, how do I handle this in a matured way? I don't want to be rough about it because I suddenly feel my wife is hiding many things from me.

She probably aborted the baby of another man...mehn do your investigation. You need to keep your findings to yourself until you get concrete evidence about what she has been up to recently. A married woman should not be doing a secret abortion unless she has been doing anyhow.

Re: Please How Do I Address This Issue by AmazonTopaz(f): 1:03pm On Dec 31, 2021

Lucaslookers:
Okay. I am following up with the comments I really take them seriously.
I am calm. I don't want to overreact.
Because I don't want blood on my hands

Why would you even want to entertain such thoughts?

Better go and ask your wife

1 2 Reply

How Do I Address This? • Please I Need People Advice Over This Issue • How Can I Handle This Issue With The Wife Of My Boss? • 2 • 3 • 4

LG Double Door Fridge, make me an offer! • Why Should A Man Be So Hated To This Extent By His Wife? • When Mums Walk Out