Is No Sex Before Marriage Out-Dated Or More Important Than Ever?
12 JANUARY 2022

Research suggests that the number of unmarried Christians under the age of 35 who are having sex, has risen from 20% in 2008 to nearly 60% in 2021. Author Carrie Lloyd discusses abstinence and why we shouldn’t give up on it.

Even if I was an atheist I’d be abstinent at this time. We’re completely misusing sex. We’re chucking quite literally away diamonds.

If you look at the fecundity rates (the ability to produce an abundance of offspring) in Eastern Europe, which is an area that is highly sexually liberal, it is now around about 1.3. In order for a community to repopulate the fecundity rate has got to be around 2.2. It just shows that our sexually liberal ways are not repopulating the planet.

We’re not just having more sex, people are doing weird stuff that doesn’t actually impregnate anyone. Some of the sexual activities that I’ve had to pastor people through in the last few years have made me think: ‘Wow that’s a new choice. I’ve not heard that one before.’

The experimentation has gone off the charts but it is eroding emotional relationships and trust. Were losing the muscle that helps us compromise and persevere through something because we’re just fulfilling our sexual desires anywhere. This is why we are finding that we are the most single generation to date.

Sexual experimentation has gone off the charts but it is eroding emotional relationships and trust.
If you look at current social trends and behaviours the concept of celibacy is outdated. But I think that’s down to a revolt of the younger generation in the church who had been facing a lot of legalistic teachings as opposed to a loving embrace that would teach all things are permissible but not everything is beneficial. There’s a difference between choosing abstinence and choosing the purity movement which has caused a lot of damage and created a lot of legalism around sex.

Sexual ethics are more relevant today than ever before. The younger generations are unable to trust each other like they used to as people get their emotional and sexual needs met, without commitment. I’ve seen slightly older liberals begin to change their mind about their sexual liberation. Wishing still to have more longevity and permanent commitment. Some have decided to take sex off the table so that they may make more executive decisions about the right compatible partner as opposed to defining their relationship by how physically compatible they are. Sexual attraction is not the quality that make a relationship survive - communication, maturity, integrity and building trust are what is vital to a relationship.

Intimacy should be treasured, and not misused for our own needs alone to be met.
Until we remove the only urge of our will and needs to be met, and become more loving and serving towards each other, the question of sexual ethics and using it for the right means, in the right relationship in the right season will always be relevant.

If someone was struggling with the choice between sex before marriage and abstinence I would ask them what is holding them back with waiting and what is pushing them to want sex now. I would ensure it was their choice, not a forced teaching upon them. I would want them to consider if the decision they were making could harm themselves or someone else in the future. I would remind them that sexual connection doesn’t mean you are lovable or will make someone commit. I’d ensure they were making these choices with a self-confidence and from a place of being happy being single. Above all, I wouldn’t push my opinion onto someone else unless they ask for my thoughts on the matter.

I also think it’s important to remove faith as a variable as that will always be argued and is the reason why many leave the church altogether. That wisdom, caring for another and honouring another in the long term is the most important goal. Intimacy should be treasured, and not misused for our own needs alone to be met.

Source

More important than ever

You want to buy a car you know what to do why are you waiting, to buy it first before you test it ? Hmmm

Well in this generation we live in you just have to be careful...

..
If the lady in question is not a virgin, na ogun go kill her if she try to propose such nonsense to me..

Goldbw122:


You want to buy a car you know what to do why are you waiting, to buy it first before you test it ? Hmmm

Well in this generation we live in you just have to be careful...

Are you intending to use your prospective spouse as a car, why test drive him/her?

Intimacy should be treasured. Nobody uses what is treasured anyhow. Marriage is abused so much today because of free sex prior to marriage.

I don't know the need for honeymoon these days when the honeypot has been overused before marriage. Most marriages crash so early because everything that ought to be done after wedding has been done before wedding.

If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?

Matheusmartin:
..

If the lady in question is not a virgin, na ogun go kill her if she try to propose such nonsense to me..

The 'lady in question' doesn't necessarily have to be a 'virgin' before marriage but must have made a vow of chastity or to abstain before marriage.

Vision101:
Intimacy should be treasured. Nobody uses what is treasured anyhow. Marriage is abused so much today because of free sex prior to marriage.

I don't know the need for honeymoon these days when the honeypot has been overused before marriage. Most marriages crash so early because everything that ought to be done after wedding has been done before wedding.

If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?

Imagine going for honeymoon after cohabiting with that same person for 1 year

Romans 1:28 comes to mind here:

Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done.

People are of the opinion that you have to test the goods you're buying.....to satisfy your partner properly contact me

It's completely outdated and can't work anymore

It works then because people married early, my grandma married barely 18 to a man of over 30, that's not the norm anymore

You can't expect a 25 years old law student to drop out or be forcefully married all in the name of marrying as a virgin, even my so called virgin grandma marriage still crashed

What makes it outdated? Is it because everyone is now having sex like chickens and dogs; which majority now see as a norm, therefore that makes "no sex before marriage" outdated?

Please it's not yet outdated. At least there are still a few of us from very good homes with good home training who still believe and abide by it, no matter the pressure. Not everybody lacks self control. Biko.

However, if it looks like it's fading away, then there's need to bring it on strongly, back to the society by constantly reminding our youth once again to see if we can still salvage what is left of the already dacayed society.

Premarital sex has caused a lot of damages eventhough no body is willing to say or admit it.

Mercychen:
What makes it outdated? Is it because everyone is now having sex like chickens and dogs; which majority now see as a norm, therefore that makes "no sex before marriage" outdated?

Please it's not yet outdated. At least there still are few of us from very good homes with good home who still believe and abide by it, no matter the pressure. Not everybody lacks self control. Biko.

However, if it looks like it's fading away, then there's need to bring it on strongly, back to the society by constantly reminding our youth once again to see if we can still salvage what is left of the already dacayed society.

Premarital sex has caused a lot of damages eventhough no body is willing to say or admit it.

Be prepared. Guys hate hearing this. They're coming for u.

OLAADEGBU:


Are you intending to use your prospective spouse as a car, why test drive him/her?

To know If anything have been damage by previous owner or if the car is Fresh one.

Goldbw122:

To know If anything have been damage by previous owner or if the car is Fresh one.

SMH.

Na we gurlz I dey always pity. Even guys wey no get any good intentions too go dey hide under this. If I've finally decided to have sex before marriage (which i pray doesn't happen), it will solely be my personal decision and not to make any fvcking guy stay. Not even when I'm totally in love. I will assume if he cannot stay, then he doesn't deem me as worth it and such man doesn't deserve an iota of my love.

Vision101:
Intimacy should be treasured. Nobody uses what is treasured anyhow. Marriage is abused so much today because of free sex prior to marriage.

I don't know the need for honeymoon these days when the honeypot has been overused before marriage. Most marriages crash so early because everything that ought to be done after wedding has been done before wedding.

If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?

"...If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?"

What a thoughtful question!
But unfortunately many people look away from this...

.

No, it's not outdated if you're christian.

OLAADEGBU:


The 'lady in question' doesn't necessarily have to be a 'virgin' before marriage but must have made a vow of chastity or to abstain before marriage.

..


she didn't vow chastity when she gave her exes doggy and snake in the money shadow styles..

E reach my turn, you begin preach nonsense.

IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER.

I would like to quote some of the baseless claims from this article but OP made it difficult so I'm out.

The condom they buy to fornicate, they don't test it before buying.
Seems condom has more value than the bodies of fornicator testers.

@KNOWMORE56

"...If the "young school" claim that the "old school" ways are wrong, why are we having more broken marriages in the young school era than the old school era?"

What a thoughtful question!
But unfortunately many people look away from this...


@me
Don't mind them.... the young school does not realise that Satan is an expert in counterfeiting. He makes his counterfeit to look better than the original from the outside. He is ever busy and he's not on holiday.

Truth is one sex is one of those things that thrils newly weds... Having outside with the person you intend to marry isn't right at all.



At a point in time you'd ask yourself if you were the only one that was tasting the honey pot before marriage, consequently leading to distrust. Lol. If you must have sex before marriage then it should be once in Six months at least.

Mercychen:
What makes it outdated? Is it because everyone is now having sex like chickens and dogs; which majority now see as a norm, therefore that makes "no sex before marriage" outdated?

Please it's not yet outdated. At least there are still a few of us from very good homes with good home training who still believe and abide by it, no matter the pressure. Not everybody lacks self control. Biko.

However, if it looks like it's fading away, then there's need to bring it on strongly, back to the society by constantly reminding our youth once again to see if we can still salvage what is left of the already dacayed society.

Premarital sex has caused a lot of damages eventhough no body is willing to say or admit it.

with ur loose wide puzzi at 41 , u too dey talk . continue lookn for an innocent man to deceive

jmoore:


The condom they buy to fornicate, they don't test it before buying.

Seems condom has more value than the bodies of fornicator testers.

Very good point!

Hathor5:


I would like to quote some of the baseless claims from this article but OP made it difficult so I'm out.

How and why did I make it difficult?

Matheusmartin:
..


she didn't vow chastity when she gave her exes doggy and snake in the money shadow styles..

E reach my turn, you begin preach nonsense.

Just say you too want to sample, I don't think you have any market to buy.

OLAADEGBU:


How and why did I make it difficult?

You quoted it so I can't quote it again.

Mercychen:


What makes it outdated? Is it because everyone is now having sex like chickens and dogs; which majority now see as a norm, therefore that makes "no sex before marriage" outdated?

Please it's not yet outdated. At least there are still a few of us from very good homes with good home training who still believe and abide by it, no matter the pressure. Not everybody lacks self control. Biko.

However, if it looks like it's fading away, then there's need to bring it on strongly, back to the society by constantly reminding our youth once again to see if we can still salvage what is left of the already dacayed society.

Premarital sex has caused a lot of damages eventhough no body is willing to say or admit it.

Way to go!

Hathor5:


You quoted it so I can't quote it again.

Ok, I'll unquote it for your sake.

OLAADEGBU:
Is No Sex Before Marriage Out-Dated Or More Important Than Ever?
12 JANUARY 2022

Research suggests that the number of unmarried Christians under the age of 35 who are having sex, has risen from 20% in 2008 to nearly 60% in 2021. Author Carrie Lloyd discusses abstinence and why we shouldn’t give up on it.

Even if I was an atheist I’d be abstinent at this time. We’re completely misusing sex. We’re chucking quite literally away diamonds.

If you look at the fecundity rates (the ability to produce an abundance of offspring) in Eastern Europe, which is an area that is highly sexually liberal, it is now around about 1.3. In order for a community to repopulate the fecundity rate has got to be around 2.2. It just shows that our sexually liberal ways are not repopulating the planet.

We’re not just having more sex, people are doing weird stuff that doesn’t actually impregnate anyone. Some of the sexual activities that I’ve had to pastor people through in the last few years have made me think: ‘Wow that’s a new choice. I’ve not heard that one before.’

Source

Which Eastern European country is sexually liberal or is she saying that the entire Eastern Europe is sexually liberal? And how did she come to the conclusion?

How is sexual activity related to lower birth rates?

I didn't read past this part because I don't think that it's worth reading until someone explains to me how her assertions in the beginning can be backed up or make sense at all.

Hathor5:


Which Eastern European country is sexually liberal or is she saying that the entire Eastern Europe is sexually liberal? And how did she come to the conclusion?

I believe she based her research on Eastern European countries but with my experience I can safely include the Western European countries.

Hathor5:


How is sexual activity related to lower birth rates?

One of the reason Germany allowed a large population of refugees from Syria was to fill in for their dwindling working population. They had a low production rate due to their selfish lifestyle.

Hathor5:


I didn't read past this part because I don't think that it's worth reading until someone explains to me how her assertions in the beginning can be backed up or make sense at all.

Africans and Asians have a large production rate. They bear more children. The do not see sex as being for pleasure alone, they genuinely see their offspring as their pensions - thus increase the working population.