₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
What makes it outdated? Is it because everyone is now having sex like chickens and dogs; which majority now see as a norm, therefore that makes "no sex before marriage" outdated?

Please it's not yet outdated. At least there are still a few of us from very good homes with good home training who still believe and abide by it, no matter the pressure. Not everybody lacks self control. Biko.

However, if it looks like it's fading away, then there's need to bring it on strongly, back to the society by constantly reminding our youth once again to see if we can still salvage what is left of the already dacayed society.

Premarital sex has caused a lot of damages eventhough no body is willing to say or admit it.

As it has cause slot if damages to some it has also cause a lot of good in this untoward generation

Stargurl20:
SMH.

Na we gurlz I dey always pity. Even guys wey no get any good intentions too go dey hide under this. If I've finally decided to have sex before marriage (which i pray doesn't happen), it will solely be my personal decision and not to make any fvcking guy stay. Not even when I'm totally in love. I will assume if he cannot stay, then he doesn't deem me as worth it and such man doesn't deserve an iota of my love.

Sorry to ask,how old are u?

Quite refreshing to read something different here.

Ita not outdated, lots of people are still keeping to the No sex before marriage NSBM rule its just that the percentage of singles having sex seem to be higher than before and the damages are enormous very scary

Personally I am an advocate of NSBM, also an advocate of if he says without sex he won't marry let him leave, another will come.

One Trick some use is ' after all you are not a virgin you have done it before so what's the big deal' anybody can decide not to have sex before marriage.

OLAADEGBU:
I believe she based her research on Eastern European countries but with my experience I can safely include the Western European countries.

What research? Who says she has researched anything? Since when are all Eastern European countries sexually liberal?

One of the reason Germany allowed a large population of refugees from Syria was to fill in for their dwindling working population. They had a low production rate due to their selfish lifestyle.

What has premarital sex has to do with a dwindling population? She is yet to prove that one is the cause of the other or I can equally claim that the excessive use of social media is, which is a claim with no evidence.

Africans and Asians have a large production rate. They bear more children. The do not see sex as being for pleasure alone, they genuinely see their offspring as their pensions - thus increase the working population.

In this case having children is a means to an end and not the result of premarital sex or the lack of it.

Hathor5:
What research? Who says she has researched anything? Since when are all Eastern European countries sexually liberal?



What has premarital sex has to do with a dwindling population? She is yet to prove that one is the cause of the other or I can equally claim that the excessive use of social media is, which is a claim with no evidence.





In this case having children is a means to an end and not the result of premarital sex or the lack of it.

Hathor, are you for or against pre-marital sex? Also, I'll like to understand your reason. Thanks

Hathor5:
What research? Who says she has researched anything? Since when are all Eastern European countries sexually liberal?

I agree that she did not reference her research but I do know that Europeans have taken up sexual lifestyles that prevent procreation but promotes sexual pleasure as opposed to third world countries who attach great importance to procreation after marriage.

Hathor5:
What has premarital sex has to do with a dwindling population? She is yet to prove that one is the cause of the other or I can equally claim that the excessive use of social media is, which is a claim with no evidence.

From experience and observation, premarital sex is primary for sexual pleasure and not for increasing population hence the prevalent use of contraceptives and abortion.

Hathor5:
In this case having children is a means to an end and not the result of premarital sex or the lack of it.

It is equally true that premarital sex can lead to single parenthood but this does not necessarily increase the working population.

OLAADEGBU:
I agree that she did not reference her research but I do know that Europeans have taken up sexual lifestyles that prevent procreation but promotes sexual pleasure as opposed to third world countries who attach great importance to procreation after marriage.


From experience and observation, premarital sex is primary for sexual pleasure and not for increasing population hence the prevalent use of contraceptives and abortion.

European like Africans enjoy sex all the same. If anything, the African has a reputation of being hornier. It's just that Africans have a greater need for children than Europeans. There is absolutely no link between premarital sex and low birth rates. None.

It is equally true that premarital sex can lead to single parenthood but this does not necessarily increase the working population.

Pardon me? Who was talking about single parenthood?

Acidosis:
Hathor, are you for or against pre-marital sex? Also, I'll like to understand your reason. Thanks

Isn't it a personal decision?

Absolutely

Stargurl20:
. If I've finally decided to have sex before marriage (which i pray doesn't happen), it will solely be my personal decision and not to make any fvcking guy stay. Not even when I'm totally in love. I will assume if he cannot stay, then he doesn't deem me as worth it and such man doesn't deserve an iota of my love.

Hathor5:
Isn't it a personal decision?

Okay

Acidosis:
Okay

To me the question whether I'm for or against premarital sex is akin to asking if I am for or against people eating more or less carbs. It's a personal decision.

Hathor5:
To me the question whether I'm for or against premarital sex is akin to asking if I am for or against people eating more or less carbs. It's a personal decision.

I see your point

Acidosis:
I see your point

What about you?

Hathor5:
What about you?

Well I see reasons and I agree with those who say no to premarital sex. For those who want sex before marriage, their excuses or rather reasons for desiring sex have never made sense to me, especially when they use the test driving narrative. I think people should have sex if they want to without trying to rationalize their actions.

Make una get out jor!

I can't marry who I never nack. Wetin concern me with honeymoon? All na scam jor. We must have sex.

Acidosis:
Well I see reasons and I agree with those who say no to premarital sex. For those who want sex before marriage, their excuses or rather reasons for desiring sex have never made sense to me, especially when they use the test driving narrative. I think people should have sex if they want to without trying to rationalize their actions.

There is subtle judgement in your comment but that's ok. As much as you don't like people justify their choice to have premarital sex, I find it ridiculous when people choose to brag about their choice not to have sex and act like they are a better person because of it. I really don't get how it concerns me what you choose to do or not to do with your reproductive organs and why I should condemn or reward you for this or that choice.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Make una get out jor!

I can't marry who I never nack. Wetin concern me with honeymoon? All na scam jor. We must have sex.

You again.

Hathor5:
There is subtle judgement in your comment but that's ok. As much as you don't like people justify their choice to have premarital sex, I find it ridiculous when people choose to brag about their choice not to have sex and act like they are a better person because of it. I really don't get how it concerns me what you choose to do or not to do with your reproductive organs and why I should condemn or reward you for this or that choice.

I don't judge them, they judge themselves with their lies. In reality, I have never seen or heard a guy approach a lady for sex on the basis of test driving a car before paying/buying. Majority of ladies will turn down a guy who comes with that line but turn around to use the same line to justify why people should have sex online. This is why their arguments about sex have never made sense to me.

It is better to simply claim that they don't have power or control over their sex hormones (this is a more scientific and trustworthy response).

Bragging may seem "off" but celebrating abstinence from sex shouldn't ordinarily provoke anyone. Even ex-prostitutes celebrate their freedom from s.ex addiction.

Acidosis:
I don't judge them, they judge themselves with their lies. In reality, I have never seen or heard a guy approach a lady for sex on the basis of test driving a car before paying/buying. It is better to simply claim that they don't have power or control over their sex hormones (this is a more scientific and trustworthy response).

What makes you think that they can't control it? Maybe they simply don't want to because they don't consider sex dirty, harmful or sinful.

Bragging may seem "off" but celebrating abstinence from sex shouldn't ordinarily provoke anyone. Even ex-prostitutes celebrate their freedom from s.ex addiction.

Why should it be celebrated?

Hathor5:
What makes you think that they can't control it? Maybe they simply don't want to because they don't consider sex dirty, harmful or sinful.

So long as the majority of ladies out there will ignore, insult, abuse, or sue a random guy that comes asking for sex, then sex will always pose some degree of harm and dirt.

Why should it be celebrated?

The argument about what is right or wrong will always be subjective. A drug addict will also wonder why someone who has just left the rehab is celebrating.

Acidosis:
So long as the majority of ladies out there will ignore, insult, abuse, or sue a random guy that comes asking for sex, then sex will always pose some degree of harm and dirt.

The argument about what is right or wrong will always be subjective. A drug addict will also wonder why someone who has just left the rehab is celebrating.

So everyone who enjoys sex is an addict?

Hathor5:

We can't afford to engage in sexual activities like animals so those who choose to promote abstinence or safe sex with one partner are doing the world a favour. We should celebrate them rather than make them feel backward when we obviously know that the other alternatives can destroy the world. When HIV/AIDS was almost going to destroy the world, these people played active roles.

We have STIs to contend with, consent and legal issues, we've also got teenage pregnancy, and so many other wahala, all associated with sex. Two strange adult goats can afford to knack on the highway but humans can't.

So everyone who enjoys sex is an addict?

No. Don't forget that the argument is not about whether people should have sex or not. Of course, people will always have sex.

Acidosis:
We can't afford to engage in sexual activities like animals so those who choose to promote abstinence or safe sex with one partner are doing the world a favour. We should celebrate them rather than make them feel backward when we obviously know that the other alternatives can destroy the world. When HIV/AIDS was almost going to destroy the world, these people played active roles.

We have STIs to contend with, consent and legal issues, we've also got teenage pregnancy, and so many other wahala, all associated with sex. Two strange adult goats can afford to knack on the highway but humans can't.

Funny enough it is in this part of the world where HIV infection rates are the highest. The same part where people are bragging the most about abstaining from premarital sex and acting holier than Virgin Mary.

See, the issue is this, all these discussions about premarital sex gravitate towards two extremes. Engage like animals or act holier than thou. However, people will continue to have sex like they always have. The only difference is that back in the day young girls were married off in their teenage years, which is not practicable these days so we need to help those who can't or don't want to wait till marriage to make informed decisions and be sensible about it.

Partners should get tested before they have sex. Contraceptives should be easily available. Healthcare should be provided. Sex education should be the norm.

No. Don't forget that the argument is not about whether people should have sex or not. Of course, people will always have sex.

I know what the discussion is about but you make it seem like everyone who does not abstain from premarital sex is an addict or animal.

The topic is always emotionally charged. I wonder why.

Hathor5:
Funny enough it is in this part of the world where HIV infection rates are the highest. The same part where people are bragging the most about abstaining from premarital sex and acting holier than Virgin Mary.

No, I disagree and I have data to prove that. The numbers only seem higher because we have a high population. In fact, given our poor literacy rate, we are doing excellently well.

See, the issue is this, all these discussions about premarital sex gravitate towards two extremes. Engage like animals or act holier than thou. However, people will continue to have sex like they always have. The only difference is that back in the day young girls were married off in their teenage years, which is not practicable these days so we need to help those who can't or don't want to wait till marriage to make informed decisions and be sensible about it.

No amount of help can invalidate the topic of abstinence. I belief the only education a teenage girl or guy should be receiving about sexual activity (not sexual organs or biology) is abstinence/dangers of premarital sex. While we all know that teenagers of today now do all kinds of acrobatics in bed, I don't think buying them condom or contraceptive is the way to go. I don't think I would be part of those who would be distributing condoms in secondary or primary schools.

I have no issues with adults who choose to have sex before marriage. I only become defensive when they try to make obsolete the topic of abstinence with false claims.

Partners should get tested before they have sex. Contraceptives should be easily available. Healthcare should be provided. Sex education should be the norm.

I agree

I know what the discussion is about but you make it seem like everyone who does not abstain from premarital sex is an addict or animal.

Well, when they make the topic of abstinence impracticable or obsolete, they come across as addicts.

Acidosis:
No, I disagree and I have data to prove that. The numbers only seem higher because we have a high population. In fact, given our poor literacy rate, we are doing excellently well.

Comparisons are made in percentages or per 1000 so it has nothing to do with population size and absolute numbers.

No amount of help can invalidate the topic of abstinence. I belief the only education a teenage girl or guy should be receiving about sexual activity (not sexual organs or biology) is abstinence/dangers of premarital sex. While we all know that teenagers of today now do all kinds of acrobatics in bed, I don't think buying them condom or contraceptive is the way to go. I don't think I would be part of those who would be distributing condoms in secondary or primary schools.

I am yet to see a place where they distribute condoms in primary schools. Besides, we are not only talking about teenagers. People are and will continue to marry later. That's a world wide trend and so staying abstinent till marriage will pose a bigger challenge than it used to.

I have no issues with adults who choose to have sex before marriage. I only become defensive when they try to make obsolete the topic of abstinence with false claims.

You called them addicts and animals on the very same thread. I don't think anyone attacks people who abstain from sex in the same manner.

I agree
Well, when they make the topic of abstinence impracticable or obsolete, they come across as addicts.

I am yet to see this happen with the same frequency people tend to slut shame others.

Hathor5:
Comparisons are made in percentages or per 1000 so it has nothing to do with population size and absolute numbers.

How do you explain the fact that South Africa (despite having a higher rate of literates and standard of living) has a higher HIV/AIDS prevalence than "the over religious" Nigeria? Don't you think our "hypocrisy and holier than thou" have helped in some ways?

I am yet to see a place where they distribute condoms in primary schools. Besides, we are not only talking about teenagers.

The world is getting there so what do you recommend? You mentioned how our mothers married as teenagers, hence, they were able to practise abstinence. Since today's teenagers can't get married, what do you recommend? Condom?

People are and will continue to marry later. That's a world wide trend and so staying abstinent till marriage will pose a bigger challenge than it used to.

Yes, certainly, and destroying the family structure will pose even a bigger challenge.

You called them addicts and animals on the very same thread. I don't think anyone attacks people who abstain from sex in the same manner.

No, I didn't. I only gave a reason why humans can't afford to have sex like animals. That was a response to a claim that sex poses no harm or sin. If it poses no harm, why do we have sex in the secret and frown against public sex - the way animals do?

I am yet to see this happen with the same frequency people tend to slut shame others.

I don't support slut shaming people.

Acidosis:
How do you explain the fact that South Africa (despite having a higher rate of literates and standard of living) has a higher HIV/AIDS prevalence than "the over religious" Nigeria? Don't you think our "hypocrisy and holier than thou" have helped in some ways?

Possibly. But the infection rate is even lower in more liberal/progressive Western countries without the overly religious attitudes so prevalent here. Why?

The world is getting there so what do you recommend? You mentioned how our mothers married as teenagers, hence, they were able to practise abstinence. Since today's teenagers can't get married, what do you recommend? Condom?

There is nothing wrong with asking teenagers to stay abstinent for as long as they are unable to deal with possible consequences. However, sexual education, healthcare and contraceptives must be available too.

Yes, certainly, and destroying the family structure will pose even a bigger challenge.

Marrying later has to do with higher life expectancy and also female education and has nothing to do with the destruction of family systems.

No, I didn't. I only gave a reason why humans can't afford to have sex like animals. That was a response to a claim that sex poses no harm or sin. If it poses no harm, why do we have sex in the secret and frown against public sex - the way animals do?

This one does not make sense. Married couples have sex in the secret too but marital sex is not harmful or sinful or is it?

I don't support slut shaming people.

Good.

Hathor5:
Possibly. But the infection rate is even lower in more liberal/progressive Western countries without the overly religious attitudes so prevalent here. Why?

Excellent literacy rate, and better healthcare. Takeaway these two and some of them will be competing for the number one spot.

There is nothing wrong with asking teenagers to stay abstinent for as long as they are unable to deal with possible consequences. However, sexual education, healthcare and contraceptives must be available too.

Okay. Good

Marrying later has to do with higher life expectancy and also female education and has nothing to do with the destruction of family systems.

And when sexually active people avoid or delay marriage due to these factors, what happens?

This one does not make sense. Married couples have sex in the secret too but marital sex is not harmful or sinful or is it?

When you define harmful in the context of the society at large, you'll understand the point.

Acidosis:
Excellent literacy rate, and better healthcare. Takeaway these two and some of them will be competing for the number one spot.



Okay. Good


And when sexually active people avoid or delay marriage due to these factors, what happens?



When you define harmful in the context of the society at large, you'll understand the point.

Nothing happens. They just settle down a tad bit later.

Hathor5:
Nothing happens. They just settle down a tad bit later.

Hathor Hathor Good morning o

Acidosis:
Hathor Hathor Good morning o

Hello.

Hathor5:
Hello.