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My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Says No Sex Until Her Mother Leaves Our House. / Wedding Night: House Or Hotel, Which Is Preferable? / Husband Waits To Have Sex Until Marriage . . . Then Learns Wife Is 4 Months Preg (2) (3) (4)

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My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by igwegeorgiano(m): 2:03pm On Oct 30, 2019
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

112 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Drkeo: 2:06pm On Oct 30, 2019
She's hiding something from you....

478 Likes 32 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by id2019(m): 2:07pm On Oct 30, 2019
What's stopping you from fixing date for the white wedding. She told u all this before the relationship started.

751 Likes 34 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Mogambo123: 2:10pm On Oct 30, 2019
If she's not a virgin then you av been scammed.

607 Likes 31 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by SillyeRabbit: 2:14pm On Oct 30, 2019
Mogambo123:
If she's not a virgin then you av been scammed.

125 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by NLSavage: 2:18pm On Oct 30, 2019
how are you even sure she's a virgin?

see bro, I've dated a girl that told me she is a virgin but when i went down with her, she was as loose as a borehole. funny thing is that when we broke up, one of my guy approached her and she kept on insisting that she's a virgin. Its a funny world we live in bro.

My advice: Take her to a clinic for a virginity test.

465 Likes 27 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by kingxsamz(m): 2:20pm On Oct 30, 2019
No sex before marriage is bullcrap.
What if after marriage you discover something which makes you lose interest in the relationship?
It's better to learn about every aspect of your partner before you dive into marriage, before you go go enter point of no return.

Op, your girl must be hiding something from you, and wants to use marriage to trap you.

202 Likes 11 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by scaramucci: 2:23pm On Oct 30, 2019
So instead of you to fast track the wedding to the next available Saturday in order to get to shift her pant you decided to put it on hold, right?

296 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by midnighter(f): 2:28pm On Oct 30, 2019
But you're still going to marry her in the church so what actually is the problem?

Somebody told you something ahead of time, you say you did not take her serious. now the thing is coming to pass and you're complaining. Nawa

Church wedding is important to some people because of the spiritual implications, why did you go ahead with a born-again if you can't even respect a basic decision like this

And on top of it you put the wedding on hold so you can force her to compromise on her principles Wow

Shouldn't you be happy that you married somebody who actually stands on their word and does as they say? Is this not a good quality to look for in a spouse?

824 Likes 66 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Nobody: 2:44pm On Oct 30, 2019
If she goes to deeper life she may be correct.

No sex before marriage means..

(1) No sex with my fiance but I can have sex with outsider. I want to preserve fiance, so I don't want him to sleep with me; but I can get it from ex or whoever.

(2) No sex with my fiance and no sex with outsider. I am not trying to impress my fiance, I am just again all forms of pre-marital sex. I may or may not be a virgin, but I can never bow to pre-marital sex again.

(3) No sex, I am a virgin.

98 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by peepydelano: 2:47pm On Oct 30, 2019
igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks
You are having a very good lady as your wife,count yourself very lucky.Why not fast forward your white wedding and have free access, and its not a big deal if she turns out not to be a virgin,appreciate the fact that she's God fearing. Respect her Godly wish and wait for the abundant blessings that follows,she is blessed amongst women

252 Likes 17 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by skylegend(m): 2:57pm On Oct 30, 2019
I can smell is trap ..

do you see her pussy with your own eyes?

if not

then how do you know she is a virgin.

almost all girls I come in content with, told me at some point that they are virgin

after doing you see another different picture

but in your case there is very big different

even after traditional wedding she no want give you (she knows you are her husband)

if you push with the church wedding without having sex with her .you are the biggest fool I have ever seen in my life

because she know if you discover she is not a virgin before the church wedding you will drop her old ass ..

wake up ..

before God and men you and her are husband and wife

if she still still refuses you sex ..end the relationship.go back to her parent to give you back your bride price.

before things get out of hands

139 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Newguyhere: 2:58pm On Oct 30, 2019
Women break rules for alphas and make rules for betas grin grin op I'm afraid you are the latter

275 Likes 20 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Sirvingeo(m): 3:04pm On Oct 30, 2019
op you got a good wife. She has the fear of God that is why she wants you to do the church wedding which depicts God's involvement. You better don't loose a good woman because of sex o. I promise you a lady that could go this far for God will never cheat on you after wedding .

I wish you happy marriage life and I pray I get a godly wife like her. Amen!!!

138 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Yuneehk(f): 3:35pm On Oct 30, 2019
That's a disciplined and stubborn woman you've got. You had an agreement before the relationship even started and said she's a born again christian who appreciates the things of God. Finish what you started by wedding her in the church if that's what she wants and enjoy her as you'd want to. Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

140 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by okoroemeka(m): 3:35pm On Oct 30, 2019
peepydelano:
You are having a very good lady as your wife,count yourself very lucky.Why not fast forward your white wedding and have free access, and its not a big deal if she turns out not to be a virgin,appreciate the fact that she's God fearing. Respect her Godly wish and wait for the abundant blessings that follows,she is blessed amongst women
I don't believe the op has got a good wife like u saying,how can she be a good wife when konji is destroying the man that paid her traditional bride price and she does nothing, something is definitely fishy here and also there will be compatibility issues,the man is virle and ready for love, while the lady can relate with the guy for 1year and not feel anything,the op is definitely getting married to a frigid woman and his sex life will suffer,how can i take something for life without testing it and seeing how it works,well it seems the op is a perfect gentleman because many men I know will not tolerate that rubbish, Even before going for the traditional stuffs I must start the engine and Rev it to Max power,the lady even live in owerri and still claiming virgin, haaaaahaaa!!!

228 Likes 16 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by ImaIma1(f): 3:50pm On Oct 30, 2019
You guys are already married. She is depriving you of your conjugal rights. Some people believe that they are married only after white wedding.

Op call a meeting with your family, her family and probably your pastor to settle this matter.

49 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Nobody: 4:00pm On Oct 30, 2019
I'm a virgin.... that's what they say. You 'll be surprised another man is greasing her kpekus.

44 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Lamanii22(f): 4:00pm On Oct 30, 2019
igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks


Firstly... White wedding is a traditional wedding for the whites... I don't know why we like copying 'em... As far as I know... You guys are already married... Or you can fix the white wedding ASAP... Although there's nothing wrong if you both have sex now.. God cannot be angry... All these religious people gaan sef...

129 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Martinez39(m): 4:06pm On Oct 30, 2019
Why are you disturbing Nairaland? The solution is simple. No sex, no white wedding. She is probably trying to perfect her bait and switch strategy. She probably thinks white wedding will secure her and trap you to herself so that you won't leave no matter what you find out on your wedding night.

Call a meeting with your in-laws and parents. She had better sit up or you end the marriage and collect your money.

51 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by midnighter(f): 4:13pm On Oct 30, 2019
Martinez39:
Why are you disturbing Nairaland? The solution is simple. No sex, no white wedding. She is probably trying to perfect her bait and switch strategy. She probably thinks white wedding will secure her and trap you to herself so that you won't leave no matter what you find out on your wedding night.

Call a meeting with your in-laws and parents. She had better sit up or you end the marriage and collect your money.

Why did he agree to the condition if he knows he won't be able to cope with it??

He said he respects all her decisions yet his actions say otherwise

How can you ask someone a question, they give you an answer, you accept it without controversy and then start lamenting when the answer manifests itself over a year later

All I see here is a manipulator who thought he would be able to force his way with his partner without any discussion on his part

What does he mean he didn't take her serious? Why wouldn't you take your own wife serious?? So why ask her

If they hadn't talked about it beforehand it would be different but the most irritating part of the story is that he heard what she had to say about the issue and brushed it aside as if it didn't matter, just because it wasn't the answer he expected/wanted to hear. Respect indeed

132 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by BiggyB242(m): 4:16pm On Oct 30, 2019
Newguyhere:
Women break rules for alphas and make rules for betas grin grin op I'm afraid you are the latter

I'm telling you. I have seen a lady who had a no-sex relationship for a year, but had sex within a month of meeting a new guy.
From my own perspective, if a girl gives me conditions of any sort and she still stick to it after a month then I know she isn't really into me, I quietly move on.
If a girl love you chai. Not all these ones giving you terms and condition upandan.

108 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Martinez39(m): 4:17pm On Oct 30, 2019
midnighter:


Why did he agree to the condition if he knows he won't be able to cope with it??

He said he respects all her decisions yet his actions say otherwise
They are already married. To deny him sex is to deprive him of his right. He is entitled to the pussy since he paid her bride price. If his wife won't do the needful, he should send her out ASAP and collect his money.

48 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by BiggyB242(m): 4:20pm On Oct 30, 2019
igwegeorgiano:
Friends on NL I greet you all. Trust your day is going well? It is with very heavy heart and confused state of mind I sent this post on this platform so you can advise me on what line of action I should take. Pastors and genuine men of God should also advise me on what to do as well.

There is this lady i have been dating for about a year and 6 months now. We love each other to the moon and most importantly we respect each other opinion and decisions. She is a born again christian who appreciates the things of God more than she appreciates me which of course I have no issues with.

When we agreed to start up a relationship after being friends for about 6 months, it was agreed that there will be no sex until the wedding night but at a point I asked her "what if we are done with traditional marriage rites are we still not gonna have sex? To my creates surprise she said we won't until church wedding is done. I did not actually took her serious.

Fast forward, on the 15th of July 2019 the traditional marriage was done in her father' compound in the east and all I was asked to pay and give was paid and given without any remainder . after the traditional marriage we went back to my house in abuja. Note that we were not staying together before now. I am base in abuja while she is in owerri. When we got home that night I told her we can now make love as husband and wife hence the traditional rites has been done and most importantly the bride price paid. To my amazement my wife bluntly refused. She told me she will never compromise her stand on pre marital sex

I have been very faithful to our agreement based on her claim that she is a virgin. But refusing me my right over her body after every thing including the bride price has been paid is something I can never subscribed to and to this end I have I have involved her parent and her pastor her decision however, still remain no sex till the wedding night. I am putting the wedding on hold for now until she willingly allow me make love to her and she seems not to be comfortable with my decision as well.

This is the dilemma I have found myself please I need your wise counsels on this. Thanks and remain bless. Moderators kindly push this post to the front page so it can have adequate views it deserves thanks

Beside sex, your wife is headstrong, I pray you cope in future. Being a virgin doesn't make her a good wife; her character is most important and submissiveness.

135 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by BiggyB242(m): 4:23pm On Oct 30, 2019
ImaIma1:
You guys are already married. She is depriving you of your conjugal rights. Some people believe that they are married only after white wedding.

Op call a meeting with your family, her family and probably your pastor to settle this matter.

Even if she allows him, he isn't going to enjoy it. Sex is enjoyed when both party agree to it. It will be more like rape only that she wouldn't resist.

56 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Pusyiter(m): 4:27pm On Oct 30, 2019
She has studied you and believe that is the best way to hold you.
Are you a love-vendor?

9 Likes

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Dollarseeker: 4:32pm On Oct 30, 2019
pls respect your wife's decision abeg. I know it is not right for her to do that anyways because traditional marriage has been done...maybe its how she understands it...even me to I also strongly believe in white wedding officiated in the church, but not to the extent of not having sex with my wife after traditional marriage... but for me, I will still permit her decision not to have sex...100% in support. Oga relax she is now ur wife, just do the white wedding and have her...no issue here...just relax ur mind and hold ursef. But what I won't like is after all this and it is discovered that she is not a virgin, that would b a different case. Pls respect her decision, she deserves that respect...to stay a virgin is not easy and I believe she has told God that she will only brk it after her white wedding, so just respect her and God pls. Na you get her so have patience no rush.

I Just pray she is truly a virgin sha.

65 Likes

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by midnighter(f): 4:32pm On Oct 30, 2019
Martinez39:
They are already married. To deny him sex is to deprive him of his right. He is entitled to the pussy since he paid her bride price. If his wife won't do the needful, he should send her out ASAP and collect his money.

Lol, I hope you can respond like this the next time you have an arrangement with somebody and they back out of it at the last minute

18 Likes

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Martinez39(m): 4:38pm On Oct 30, 2019
midnighter:


Lol, I hope you can respond like this the next time you have an arrangement with somebody and they back out of it at the last minute
Where do you stand? First, you said the man is not respecting the deal but now you indirectly admit that he kept the deal but she backed out at the last minute. Where do you stand?

His only hope is to stop playing love and enforce no sex, no white wedding. If she refuses, he kicks her out ASAP. If she accepts and he finds out that she is not a virgin, she lied and she should be kicked out. The other problem is how he will get his bride price back.

18 Likes

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Nobody: 4:42pm On Oct 30, 2019
White wedding to a christian is the main deal.

21 Likes

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by midnighter(f): 4:44pm On Oct 30, 2019
Martinez39:
Where do you stand? First, you said the man is not respecting the deal but now you indirectly admit that he kept the deal but she backed out at the last minute. Where do you stand?

His only hope is to stop playing love and enforce no sex, no white wedding. If she refuses, he kicks her out ASAP. If she accepts and he finds out that she is not a virgin, she lied and she should be kicked out. The other problem is how he will get his bride price back.

Nope, he is the one who backed out of it. Where did I say she was the one?

Lying about virginity is a different matter. If this arrangement was unacceptable to him he had ample chance to say so before now.

I don't understand what would make you advocate for kicking someone out and refunding bride price over an arrangement he himself failed to keep.

34 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Insists No Sex Until Wedding Night Even After Our Traditional Wedding by Martinez39(m): 5:01pm On Oct 30, 2019
midnighter:


Nope, he is the one who backed out of it. Where did I say she was the one?
She said no sex till marriage and they are married but she doesn't want to cooperate. She is the one backing out by introducing, at the last minute, a condition of no sex until after the white wedding. I don't see how he backed out.

Lying about virginity is a different matter. If this arrangement was unacceptable to him he had ample chance to say so before now.
As I have pointed out, he has fulfilled his own end of the bargain.

I don't understand what would make you advocate for kicking someone out and refunding bride price over an arrangement he himself failed to keep.
He didn't fail in keeping his promise. She had better sit up or he throws her out. My fear is that op is a SIMPanzee.

9 Likes 1 Share

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