₦airaland Forum

aminusodiq:
the funny thing is
.. the husband bought the comfort shes denying his siblings

Is this how you go about invading your brother's home because he bought everything in his house?

Olarhhh:
I updated the story under the comments since questions keep coming
I don't have any problem with my inlaw, infact staying around when my husband left is best but he left a lot of loan to be paid and he hasn't secured a job over there yet and their mother won't let me take her as my own sister but my inlaw,,, it's inconvenience..
A sister would understand the situation, some inlaws will also, but not my own inlaw, that's why I need space
Her being around is extra mouth to feed

I think you should ignore some comments here. Your concerns are very valid. However, it could be that your sister in law was deliberately planted in your home to monitor your movement. This might continue for as long as your husband is away.

Moving on, don't give your in-laws the impression that you want the girl out of your home, rather keep talking to your husband. I don't agree that his parents influence all his moves. The decision to keep the girl in your house or not fully rest on his shoulders.

aminusodiq:
the funny thing is
.. the husband bought the comfort shes denying his siblings

Then he should send the woman out and be having sex with his sisters

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.
Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave,,
Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted. Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around. Please help

Stop that's me and my husband mentality abeg.. just do ya own best okay ..., What's goes around comes around..... Nobody knows tomorrow so try to sow a good seed ya kids can reap from the family in future.........

I have had inlaws live with me, and am a very tolerating person . This pple showed me hell,when my mum comes over they quickly tell their mum who in turn starts getting angry that my mum was around. I endured till the day I said myself enough is enough. I reacted and asked them to leave this was after 7 years of tolerating shi...y asses. I can only advise any woman to allow inlaws to stay only if ur spouse sets boundaries and they respect it. Move out of that house when ur rent expires

Olarhhh:
I updated the story under the comments since questions keep coming
I don't have any problem with my inlaw, infact staying around when my husband left is best but he left a lot of loan to be paid and he hasn't secured a job over there yet and their mother won't let me take her as my own sister but my inlaw,,, it's inconvenience..
A sister would understand the situation, some inlaws will also, but not my own inlaw, that's why I need space
Her being around is extra mouth to feed

I understand better now... tell your husband to tell her to leave... or better still inform your husband you'll be visiting you parents for a month... she'd leave if she realise shed cater for her own feeding. Sorry for my earlier comments

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.
Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave,,
Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted. Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around. Please help

When u married ur husband, u married his family. Live with them peacefully, if u have any issue with any of them, tell ur husband.

Olarhhh:
I updated the story under the comments since questions keep coming
I don't have any problem with my inlaw, infact staying around when my husband left is best but he left a lot of loan to be paid and he hasn't secured a job over there yet and their mother won't let me take her as my own sister but my inlaw,,, it's inconvenience..
A sister would understand the situation, some inlaws will also, but not my own inlaw, that's why I need space
Her being around is extra mouth to feed

the issue is with your mother in-law not allowing you see her as your sister, assuming you people are living has sisters , believe me you wouldn't have to complain because she will be useful to you in so many ways, but this one she's acting her in-law role perfectly then they will surely be a problem.

.

Olunmercy56:
Then he should send the woman out and be having sex with his sisters

And sex is the greatest benefit a man would get from his wife in marriage?

Mentality dey this life

Olarhhh:
I updated the story under the comments since questions keep coming
I don't have any problem with my inlaw, infact staying around when my husband left is best but he left a lot of loan to be paid and he hasn't secured a job over there yet and their mother won't let me take her as my own sister but my inlaw,,, it's inconvenience..
A sister would understand the situation, some inlaws will also, but not my own inlaw, that's why I need space
Her being around is extra mouth to feed

it's your husband battle, dont fight it for him. it will be very insultng for you to walk your inlaw directly or indirectly from your house.

Some in-laws can be a bit excessive, however, this mentality of me & my husband alone isn't the right approach to marriage. These people (your husband & his siblings) have been existing before you came into the picture, if not that you're seeing them as 'outsiders' I believe you would have found a way to get along with them.

Funny enough, when you ladies want to marry into a family, you'll be acting all nice & accomodating. After marriage, you start showing your true colours. If it's not about your mother in-law today, it's about your sisters and brothers in-law tomorrow. Make una rest abeg.

PS- one of my sister in-law lived with us for about 2 years and my wife always quarrels with her (her own sister o). At a point, she accused me of sleeping with her just because I don't pay heed to all her baseless complaints. I stood my ground and told my wife that her sister is also my sister and that she's there under my invitation. Na that time she get the message. Nonsense!

Olunmercy56:
Like how your people behave, you must be talking from experience. Why must people write rubbish when you don't know anything about the person.

Olunmercy56:
How come he left her with his people? Na by force? if she is her sister, she would have sent her away if she can't abide with her rules!

.

You too don't know anything about her, so how are you sure what she would've done?

What are your husband's plans to relocate you to where he is? Why did he leave you with his family member staying with you? One question that comes to mind is: are they trying to monitor you?

If your husband isn't coming soon, encourage him to rent another place for you or allow you move back to your parents in the time being.

Olarhhh:
Told him how uncomfortable it is combining all the responsibilities he left me with together with his sister and he said he expected his mom to call her back home knowing how he left things at home without fund a[/b]nd he can't tell his parents either cos they are the least understanding people he knows so we have to let her go on her own..
Meanwhile I don't have any issues with her at all, [b]we just don't get along well, their mom doesn't let me see my husband siblings as my own, she emphasize they are my inlaw which gives the girl reason to be rude and my husband is helpless about it

Nigerian in law relationship 101

1. No money dropped by their son
2. The inlaw is rude because you are a wife.


The point it they won't understand, that's how a lot of inlaws are wired. They will expect you to feed their child despite the fact you are struggling and the girl will even be rude to you on top the matter.

Maybe you should try telling them your hubby didn't drop much and you are even paying gbese and can't cope feeding an extra mouth. I doubt that one will even work because the mentality will be is she not eating why can't she feed our daughter too and they forget that ordinary food is now very expensive in Naija.

KiNg0G:
respect

Shior! 2 simple people

Olarhhh:
That Your wife or sister is a slut doesn't make other people's wife one u know..

Correct answer!

Olunmercy56:
Then he should send the woman out and be having sex with his sisters

His sisters will give him kids....

ravensckar:
Some in-laws can be a bit excessive, however, this mentality of me & my husband alone isn't the right approach to marriage. These people (your husband & his siblings) have been existing before you came into the picture, if not that you're seeing them as 'outsiders' I believe you would have found a way to get along with them.

Funny enough, when you ladies want to marry into a family, you'll be acting all nice & accomodating. After marriage, you start showing your true colours. If it's not about your mother in-law today, it's about your sisters and brothers in-law tomorrow. Make una rest abeg.

PS- one of my sister in-law lived with us for about 2 years and my wife always quarrels with her (her own sister o). At a point, she accused me of sleeping with her just because I don't pay heed to all her baseless complaints. I stood my ground and told my wife that her sister is also my sister and that she's there under my invitation. Na that time she get the message. Nonsense!

Rubbbbish!!

Your wife is also you and to override her like that is silly of you.
Your ego is too large for that self contain you are renting. REST!

Atk1nson:
it's your husband battle, dont fight it for him. it will be very insultng for you to walk your inlaw directly or indirectly from your house.

Insulting ke!

The solution is simple ... donot come home randomly.. tell your hubby you are going to visit your parents and do video call, let him see it is true then sleep off by mistake... call him in the middle of the night so he knows you are in your parents home but could not get to your house.

Once your sis in law cannot get in she will have to find someone to sleep

Apologize profusely but repeat next week on another day till she gets it profusely.

If she has a spare key pretend the lock there now spoilt or even spoil it then change it for that reason and do thay give her a spare. She only enters when you are around and you often sleep off at your parents

Increase to 3 times a week of sleeping off... video calling your hubby so he knows you are not cheating.

Never ever let people feel they can push you around without consequences.

Always apologize profusely after giving her this punishment..... she will stay in her father's house.

ravensckar:
You're obviously suffering from the greatest poverty of sense! Hence, there's no need for me to do this with you.

Take a walk!

odeee you think i am your slow wife.... take a jump arindin

Olarhhh:
Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around. Please help

Do not maltreat or deprive her of anything good. I almost critisize you until I saw that part, "she is rude"

I guess her character is what is pissing you off?

ADVICE

1. Show her love and be more patient.
2. Communicate your feelings to your man, that you need a bit of privacy from family.

sisisioge:
If it were her family member,it will be easy to address the rudeness heads-on. But with inlaws, you cant say much.

For instance, she could tell her sibling to get her assz off the couch and get something done in the house....she could also reset her erring sibling with whatever is required. So please understand the limitations of living with inlaws....especially the saucy ones.

They will go back to their parents and twist the story and they will see the wife as bad. Very typical.

Jammey6551:
Dirty slút, you can't accommodate your inlaw and you're here spilling rubbish nah your type dey break family.

One way traffic.

InTheCloudySky:
It looks like his family doesn't like or respect you, and are trying to inconvenience you in your marital home intentionally by coming to stay one after the other and being rude to boot. It would be a different story if they didn't have their own home but that's not the case here. Your husband is the only one who can put his foot down so you can enjoy your home in peace.

Unfortunately, her husband's foot has refused to touch the ground. Someone that is afraid of his parents and cannot stand up to them.

Couples should be given privacy especially in the initial period. The only problem here is your husband not being able to stand up to his family's influence and interference.

I don't like such interference; family trying to get in our business. I don't condone it.

If your parents stay in the same city or you have a family member there, just pack some things and go spend a week or two there. Allow your SIL fend for herself till she decides to find her way home.

Couples should be given privacy, that's how it starts, before you know it the woman start turning her husband against his family all in the name of privacy but no privacy when it's her family member...

Let one of your younger siblings who doesn't tolerate nonsense come spend sometime too.

viceddy95:
Couples should be given privacy, that's how it starts, before you know it the woman start turning her husband against his family all in the name of privacy but no privacy when it's her family member...

Ok now. Let his own family move in with them so that they can monitor her so she won't turn their son against them.

Olarhhh:
I updated the story under the comments since questions keep coming
I don't have any problem with my inlaw, infact staying around when my husband left is best but he left a lot of loan to be paid and he hasn't secured a job over there yet and their mother won't let me take her as my own sister but my inlaw,,, it's inconvenience..
A sister would understand the situation, some inlaws will also, but not my own inlaw, that's why I need space
Her being around is extra mouth to feed

How old is the sister-in-law living with you?