₦airaland Forum

Richy4:

You are correct.. each broken dish, 5 strokes of the 'kane' Broken TV attracts 9 strokes..

I equally saw your fear based on her anger issues.... She can possibly set the house on fire
She needs to go for an anger management classes..

If she was Angry, there are so many ways she can get to her man that will hurt him so bad ie if she truly knows him.. instead of destroying properties..

Acidosis:
Yes o. There are many ways to address a cheating spouse. When there's nothing left to destroy, she might pick a knife.

CaveAdullam:
1. Depending on the agreement both of you had before marriage, if you both choose to be exclusively monogamous and she's still keeping to that oath, maintaining fidelity, I think you should just reduce your flirting tendency.

A. Though you flirt, but women love men that other women want to be with. This is the dread game. It improves her desire towards you and make her invest better so that the relationship can last. (Know this: no investment from a woman can surpass that of a man in a sexual relationship whether long or short or filled with manipulations. By the way, he is still the one that losses more regardless of his high investments).

She's mateguarding you, but her jealousy is over the roof. There are better ways to handle this matter from her angle rather than going haywire.

B. Your flirting tendency can also make her break her oath of fidelity in order to counter her jealousy and come back on you. However, infidelity from both sexes are different and will be weighed differently because both sexes are different. (Simply can't go into that details now).

But if she's true to her oath of fidelity, that is, you know very well that she's not cheating behind but come open to disagree with you, then, forget flirting and concentrate on your family.

2. Stop engaging with women and other people in verbal attacks. Besides, women are good at it and will always beat you hands down. So, just avoid any verbal altercation.

A woman must learn how to control her tongue though. Because men's power are tired to their ego and once that ego is insulted or threatened it is an attack on their power, hence, will always retaliate with physical force.

Your wife always abusing you indicates a high level of disrespect! And that disrespect is as a result of you always engaging with her in her emotional tantrums. You must start learning to punish her psychologically, because I'm not in support of domestic violence. Start from here: Become dominant. Withdraw attention. Withdraw resources.

3. Truth be spoken, for her to always destroy your home appliances in her emotional hystericity, indicates that you've lost dominance. Such behavior implies disrespect...two agressive people can't stay under one roof. She's behaving like a parody of a man, and that you don't need.

4. Take yourself and kid oversea. You'll still continue to flirt and her with her agressive nature; couple that in a country that the family/divorce laws rips the man/husband into pieces, you'll regret your life!

(However, for the sake of your kid because they are the ones that suffers the aftermath of parental separation, both of you must resolve your differences and grow above it). This will fail 99% of the time, just start preparing on how you can raise your kid into a quality adult in the absence of the mother.

This is an evolutionary game in vogue.

Let her go!

Thanks.

Darlingme:
@op, this same advice is what I will give to my brother.
When you decided to get married as a man, please try as much as you can not to allow her lose her trust and confidence in you. A woman is the weaker vessel, yet the most complex being.
Why cheating on her to the extent that she's aware?
When a man push a woman to the point where she no longer have affection for him anymore, expect anything negative in that home.

Don't travel yet, until you are able to right all your wrongs with her. Good luck.

Curiouscity:
While I agree with others advising you to stop flirting, any wife that blackmail or lie when reporting a case is a NO NO in the abroad. Guy, you will loose her and the children within 1st 5 years of your stay.
There is no couple who doesn't have challenges or misunderstanding in their marriage, but a lying partner is a time bomb waiting to detonate. Worst in the western world.
My advice? Make peace with your fate!

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

baby124:
How about you control yourself and face your marriage? You know the beast in her comes out when she catches you cheating.

Righteousness2:
The Permanent cure to Bad and Sinful habits is in JESUS Christ.

But I must tell you the truth! The woman you are living with now is not your wife.

Your original wife is the woman u said you Divorced because of Genotype.
Listen! Genotype is not a reason to Divorce. As long as you two got married, she is your wife. You need to go back to your wife. Except you did not marry her. If you two got married, then she is your wife and you need to rectify that.

GOD ALMIGHTY, the GOD of Chosen Has healed many couples and changed their Genotype.

From Sorrow to Joy Happening this weekend 12th and 13th February is another opportunity.

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Lasunray01:
.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Harddiskng:
The rate at which Nigerian women succeed in throwing out their husbands especially in UK is alarming.

You know your wife has a terrible character already, nothing warrants her breaking household appliances, you sound like a very patient man. She better thank God, cuz most men won’t tolerate such twice. She sef no go wan try am again

its a tough call but you know the answer to your question about taking her abroad. Even your mind is not at peace with it. You can see the hand writing on the wall, I know a wise-man that was in your situation that decided not to go relocate abroad again because of his Nigerian wife’s character.

Better still put it before God in serious.

********************************************
Na wa. May God open our eyes to marry good homely wives

cococandy:
Wow

No mention of his part in causing the issues? Nawa

Harddiskng:
Again I repeat nothing warrants her breaking household appliances

Wisdom is profitable to direct. Some people have anger issues, breaking stuff heightens it. If @op wasn’t patient enough, the story on front page would have been “Man beats wife to stupor”

princeeze1:
Op are you not being hypocritical here? Which woman would catch you cheating and not go mad? Madness got levels to it, but you are the trigger! Would all hell not be let loose if reverse were the case and she was the one caught cheating severally? You are hoping to migrate to a saner clime where cheating is not tolerated no matter the sex involved and instead of working on yourself, you are blaming her resulting actions!! I am happy you pointed out it all stems from your actions, in your mind you wanted her to wallow in her tears and self pity whenever she catches you!!! Ogbeni you can do better.

eyinjuege:
OP will be flogged seriously for being inappropriate with females not related to him or married to him.
If he wants to be truly polygamous, then marry the so called single ladies.
They're not as lawless and irresponsible in Saudi. They're even still more liberal than Northern Nigeria

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Shokoloko:
This advice is only for practising believers.
The OP has not declared that he is one.

Since OP has not declared to be a practicing believer not just a churchgoers the solution is that he stops chasing women.
Also he needs to know that eith the woman's current attitude she will walk out once they land in the new country.
Maybe that will be God's way of pointing OP back to first wife.
Please note that wife No 2 is also recognised by God as there is no where in the Bible where God expressed displeasure at the acquisition of a second wife.

Harddiskng:
The rate at which Nigerian women succeed in throwing out their husbands especially in UK is alarming.

You know your wife has a terrible character already, nothing warrants her breaking household appliances, you sound like a very patient man. She better thank God, cuz most men won’t tolerate such twice. She sef no go wan try am again

its a tough call but you know the answer to your question about taking her abroad. Even your mind is not at peace with it. You can see the hand writing on the wall, I know a wise-man that was in your situation that decided not to go relocate abroad again because of his Nigerian wife’s character.

Better still put it before God in serious.

********************************************
Na wa. May God open our eyes to marry good homely wives

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Richy4:
@ bold you are correct OP will be punish if he was found guilty of misbehaving with the ladies but it doesn't occur frequently especially if it was consented... the other woman will deny it......

If he decides to marry a second wife, That still will not be in the wife's best interest because the issues they were having is based or centered on women...How will she then feel if she was asked to share..

They expects women to be docile and submissive at all times... so a woman breaking dishes and being violent when maybe Op wants to take a second wife will not fly with the country one bit because some of the judges themselves might be polygamous as well...

Op should simply work on himself first...and also book the wife for an anger management classes because it might not end well..

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you

Lasunray01:
Good day nairalanders. My first time post in 5yrs.

Will try to summarize the issues and seek sincere advise please.

I’ve been married before but got divorced within a year due to genotype issues(it’s a long story). So I remarried 2yrs after and with a child now, and that’s where my issues started from.

I know I have some bad sides too which I’m trying to change, which is flirting with single ladies, and this has caused multiple fight with my wife.

Whenever we have this fights, not physical, just verbal, but in her anger she breaks virtually anything around, cups, laptop, speakers etc. she can be madly angry. I’ve warned, petted her severally to desist from this act especially infront of our kid...but she won’t. It’s getting worse by the day. Now she reports me with blackmail to her parents and friends making me feel I’m the worst husband in the universe, calling me unprintable names. Calling me weak cos I don’t beat.

Now the advice I seek, we are planning to relocate as a family abroad this year, but I’m really scared. I can actually go alone, but would prefer we all go together since I have the means. But I’m scared if I won’t regret my actions to take her along with this her character. What if I get jailed or lose custody of our child abroad, because she’s a master in blackmail. She can turn simple issue overboard.


Sorry for the long epistle. Just had to pour out my mind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you