₦airaland Forum

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

Ninisun:
Beg him for cheating? Jeeez!!! Oga it is not everyone that is suffering in marriage. Op go find work and he should apologize for hurting you.

HIbreed:
comrade, calm down

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

postmann:
You're throwing words together in a flustering attempt at playing catch up only to end up sounding like a night school graded student who studied English as her 6th language.

I wonder how many men you've tried to impress with this your forced show of intellectual hollowness.

I'll tell you what; good girls your age are tucked either in-between their sheets gazing into the calm assuring eyes of their men while stroking their hairy chests or are reading their kids some lullabies already.

But here you are, with a beaten down and gaping vulva bearing the burden of a wasted life, projecting your misfortunes on nairaland males as if that would do the trick of the vagina rejuvenation you desperately need.

Amazingbaby:
Are you for real? What do you want me to say, should I have lied that he is home when he is not? Abandon his family? I never said anything like that Am I dealing with an insane person on nairaland?
I hate pity that is why I warned my mum never to tell my siblings or anyone,why then would I need nairalnds pity?

Biko I need practical opinion on how to move forward.avoid me.

CHoccolaTE:
And the men advising her to fight for the man, you people should get out.
Women tolerate and forgive SOOO much in their marriages that's why husbands have the liver to keep misbehaving and cheating without remorse.

Imagine a married man abandoning his kids because of one small rat outside, instead of you people to point out his irresponsible behavior you are telling his wife to fight for him as if the man is a zombie that did not make the decision on his own.
If she fights this girl today and tomorrow he starts chasing another girl should she also fight that one?
And whatever number of loose girls her stupid husband chases in future?

If a woman leaves her husband and kids for her boyfriend you idiots will never advice the husband to fight for her but you expect wives to fight for idiotic, irresponsible husbands.

postmann:
Ok. One bîtch down another slides in like the downtown beldam exchanging dîcks.

I'm nûmb to your frictionless pûssy walls.

I'm sorry, don't wanna fûck .

Amazingbaby:
If you create a thread about good things husband are doing trust me I will list,I never said he is evil or wicked,why generalize? I am talking about an incident that is breaking us up...where In this incident should I put how good he is? I talked about how he takes care of the kids .oh chim oooo

ospreywin:
Amazingbaby these are the type of people I'm talking about on this forum, they're always manipulative in reply, did asked you to beg him for cheating? Obviously not. She said you should go find work as if she had one readily available for you, does it look like your husband is ready to beg They don't have a positive solution they might not even have a working relationship sef if we are to assume as she's assuming that not everyone suffers in a marriage, they just want you to loose the marriage and later you will regret, "awon ajegbodo ton w'eni kunra". Let a yoruba person explain that quote for you, you will understand my point.

iInjureHerYansh:
See how you came here to explicably disgrace the young man you call hubby. You even proud to say you have arranged all your docs, driving school, enroll gym so you can look fit for other men when y'all part ways. Exactly the plan. But when they marry you, you will then quit gym and look shabby and flabby again just like you are and coupled with your crass egotistical behavior they loose it and another divorce sets in. Then this repeats again.

I know you may wonder why i can predict so well its just how y'all ladies be nowadays. You give your men trash and expect them to deal with it cos after they married men/parents. Or what can they do about?

You never for once mentioned or asked how or what you'll do to restore your marriage in all your Lamentations. All you say is you're ready for anything. A disgustingly egotistical lady you is. Look at the numerous feminists you even tagged on the post. You don't love that man. He deserves better

Now make person hear word

Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.

Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.

Crummy:
Amazingbaby I have read both threads and sincerely hope you would listen to what I have to say.

1) it would shock you, but I don't think your husband is cheating on you with that girl you are suspecting, though he might be cheating with other girls but not that one.

2) your husband admires that girl, I think he find her easy to talk to and he connects with her. That's why he was always talking about his business to her at his friends place. You don't communicate well with your husband

3) you deserve an explanation from your husband, but not probably the way you ask right now, men are the easiest people to get if you know their password

4) I think you are paranoid and that is because u don't have much on your hands, once u get a job and something you are passionate with, you won't have much time for unfounded allegations.

5) not giving peace in the home is a thing, a husband should not feel bad whenever he is going home to his family, his house should feel like a home not a battlefield, it's not everything you fight about.. and before you demand transparency,ensure that you yourself is transparent.

6) your husband probably doesn't feel loved or respected in his home,it your duty as a wife to do that no matter what anyone says,why marry someone you cannot love or respect? I think he leaving home for you is for u to come to your senses and beg him...

7) you should apologize for your behaviour, promise to change, listen to him and care for him and see if he would still behave the way he is.. please don't give up on your marriage, I really don't think that girl is cheating with your husband,for her to mention she is a minister and answer your questions well she is not a demon,if u meet ladies ready to snatch your husband you sef go fear.

your husband would change once he sees genuine change and trust, it's obvious u don't trust him and it's understandable considering what he did with your friend,but u have to make your marriage work..no fun in divorce....

Thanks..

Kenturkey048:
You don label the man all these from one side story...

What if she is refusing him sex?
Men are always loyal to submissive wives...Wait to hear from the man's side before you judge...

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

placeofallure:
@ OP Amazingbaby, Your home can still be salvaged. Don't be hard on yourself, it's good you're looking after yourself now, take care of your kids too. Give them a good life, after all widows excelled at raising kids alone. Pretend he's dead so you can focus. He'd be back. They come back, only they may never return as complete as they left. God be with you.

BRATISLAVA:
Even if you see a billion things he's doing wrong, you will only be interested in imagining what she could've been doing wrong because your sole interest in relationships is to see the evil in women and the sainthood of the man.

Reverse the genders in her story and tell us what you would really have to say.

You will actually lose on this in the long run
.

You will have to regret your actions, by then it will be too late because your advisers won't give u a Bleep when you are down

You are excessively jaleous, unforgiving and egocentric.

Nobody is perfect, going from your submission
Your husband is not a serial cheat and things have been smooth between both of you hitherto.

Your meanness will put you in regrets, mark my word

Better go make peace with your man and get back your home

The husband is a manipulative, lying, cheat with no respect for his home. Meanwhile you can focus on her imaginary nagging. Ignore his blatant BS as much as possible.

To the OP:

Never lose yourself over a marriage or a man. I can't understand women who kick out family and friends to focus on their husbands and children only. Yes, you have a responsibility to them, but you also should have a life outside them. Your life doesn't revolve around marriage and children only. Don't stop working to please a man, because you will only have a life of regrets afterwards.

Link up with friends and family and let them help you get footing in a job, networking, etc.

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

NoToPile:
Well seems the consensus here is its very normal for the guy to walk out of his home without any explanations and the woman should suck it all in and even beg him for it.

It's good everyone is reminded that the odds are not always in the favor of the woman in our society, if you misbehave you get blamed, if your husband misbehaves you also get blamed..

Simran94:
Did you just move to Nigeria from an European country or what? Do you know what Kayamata is?
Have you not heard of married men abandoning their wives and kids to follow these harlots that use Kayamata? Only for them to come back months or years later like headless chickens

You have been left behind oo.

gift0123:
Thank you maam

Ihatebuhariwith:
keep thanking those who wish you bad.. your eye go clear soon.. oju e maa no.

iInjureHerYansh:
Stfu b!!tch y'all always supporting your genders like your lives depends on it. And hey!! I know you'll deny that you're not a lady but Sftu make person hear word abeg

xrucifix05:
Dear OP,
For the sake of your children and your sanity, don't follow the advice to leave your husband. Go down on your knees and beg him. Give him peace of mind and he will return home. Think before you act. Do you know the number of people looking for jobs with experience and qualifications way far better than you? But if you insist, please post your life experience after 6 months of divorce on this platform so others can learn.

Jagunlabiodua:
Your husband is cheating on you and so what?
Yes it's hurts but think about Muslim women who share their husbands with maybe 2-4 wives.

You need to stop listening to feminist online and go back to the elders in the village and learn from the women there how to be a peaceful wife.

This is warning to you, do not accept to divorce your husband, tear the divorce papers and put it straight to him you are going nowhere for ever, let him know this so he would stop planning ahead of the divorce

The reason why you must not divorce your husband is you didn't cheat according to your story. I'm sure you know how to get this your husband if you want to just be loyal, allow him to do whatever he is doing with the new girl, just be looking, develop yourself, reinvent yourself, give it 3-4yrs, focus on your kids, do not cheat, give your husband sex, cook, clean,talk don't ask him too much questions, leave your husband stop monitoring him, don't call his female contacts, no man will take it easy with his wife if she does that, understand your husband.

The worst decision you will make is to leave your husband because he is having an affair with a woman while you are his wife in his home. You think you can find a faithful man as a single mother? The single mother life is that of sorrows, use and clean mouth, at the end you might even start paying to keep men and most will be after your money, which will be used to carry single young girls, how about your kids? They are going to be mad at you for divorce. your case is not about domestic violence, do you know your husband can carry Cain and flog you like a child? And it's legal Ok you don't know bcoz you lean towards feminism. Let your husband have his way I'm a man and telling you let him be for now it's just a phase.