₦airaland Forum

There is nothing wrong in building a house. But you have to be smart.
2 incomes are better than 1.
She wants to either work, or do business so that she will not depend solely on your income.
Instead of encouraging that, you put all your money into building a house that wont start generating any revenue in the first year, and will not yield profit until after many years. During this period, your kids are starving, you probably have not paid their school fees and you are not able to keep up with home maintenance or catering to your childrens needs.
She left with the kids so she can be with her family who will support her in raising her kids and financial independence.
And here you are, talking about bringing in another woman. Someone that cannot take care of his family thinks he can take care of side chick.
Mtchhheeewww!

edunaragold:
she has relocated back and non of her families has called to ask what is going on,

Have you called her people to inform them that she left your house with the children?
Just in case…

I mean, for all you know, she could’ve gone anywhere but to her family.

Xtopherwalkings:
i know the couple very well, he is lying and I'm just disappointed in him. Honestly he just lost my respect.

if he truely lying against his wife

Then what does he stands to gain by badmouthing her on this forum

Acidosis:
No part of the law says a man must establish his wife. Let's get that straight. This man probably paid millions of Naira as bride price. Why on earth should a man take the responsibility of setting up a business for his wife? We men are the ones placing too many irresponsible responsibilities upon ourselves. No wrong in establishing your partner, if you have the means. But how dare you blame the man if he refuses to do that, to the point of moving out of your home?

Has he committed any crime? If the woman needs a job she should go out there and send job applications. Na husband she marry, not a Human Resources personnel or Venture Capitalist.

If she wants her own business like you rightly stated, she should approach a bank and get a loan! As for upkeep, it is totally the man's responsibility.

Are you married?

Nwodosis:
Are you married?

What has my marital status got to do with my opinion?

Winneygirl:
There is nothing wrong in building a house. But you have to be smart.
2 incomes are better than 1.

She wants to either work, or do business so that she will not depend solely on your income.

And what's stopping her from achieving these goals? I know women love a man they can rely on all the time, to write their CV, help them with cover letter, etc. but c'mon, this is 2022! You have a phone and data, get up and do the needful if your man isn't helping or too occupied.

How can you blame your man for your inability to start a business or get a job? Is he a recruiting company?

Acidosis:
What has my marital status got to do with my opinion?

Practical experience matters and plays important role when settling martial disputes.

Nwodosis:
Practical experience matters and plays important role when settling martial disputes.

Practical experiences can be wrong.

You English though...

Mariangeles:
Have you called her people to inform them that she left your house with the children?
Just in case…

I mean, for all you know, she could’ve gone anywhere but to her family.

yes her family knows ,radda they said I should come to explain why I did not take care of her daughter, laugh wan kill me,cos I won't go,I hv my reasons

Winneygirl:
There is nothing wrong in building a house. But you have to be smart.
2 incomes are better than 1.
She wants to either work, or do business so that she will not depend solely on your income.
Instead of encouraging that, you put all your money into building a house that wont start generating any revenue in the first year, and will not yield profit until after many years. During this period, your kids are starving, you probably have not paid their school fees and you are not able to keep up with home maintenance or catering to your childrens needs.
She left with the kids so she can be with her family who will support her in raising her kids and financial independence.
And here you are, talking about bringing in another woman. Someone that cannot take care of his family thinks he can take care of side chick.
Mtchhheeewww!

patience they say is a virtue, I understand you ,but a good wife should have endurance no,if things NAD,should a wife spoil it more,I have a good plans for her ,but just to be lil patience is all I need ,no man wants a house wife these days

Reggaemich:
if he truely lying against his wife

Then what does he stands to gain by badmouthing her on this forum

I still don't get it either.

edunaragold:
To be brief, happy Sunday everon
,indeed marriage is a blessing but has it's ups and downs,
MY wife left to east angrily ,and without thinking the consequence of tomorrow, she left ignorantly as money no dey flow again somehow ,but am not saying she marries me for money sake OK,but she is impatience and ignorances,,but somebody somewhere may be remotting her as she has no dad,,now am all alone,this is a woman I paid all and married before white and traditional igbo marriage before touching her, so money were no longer flowing like before and we had ups and down, while the house rent increase skyrocketly and I decide to build my own house ,since then I have not know peace .pls ladies in the house,is it bad if become a young landlord, would not my wife be a young landlady too.


The problems is my wife thinks given her the money for business would be better than building. She sees me as a wicked man, she has relocated back and non of her families has called to ask what is going on,pls mothers ,and great men,was I wrong in building, or should I have taking that money to established my wife,knowing full well that once the house is half way ready I can get few tenenat to rent and use that money join another cash to support her business. The worst part is that I have stop building just to favour her ,I send few of my business profit to her while my uncomplicated building with things I have paid for still lies in the hands of the sells since 6 months now,only coming to repay my rent again.

(1) Pls should I stop sending her money ,so she will learn her lesson to be patience if owu done blow her,she may return with the kids ,and use that money to finish up the building in 5months,just a 2bedroom flat ,and 3 extra self con
Or

(2) should I abandoned the building and keep sending her money at the other end,while I wash my plate,Cook by my self , wash my cloth, and still act as a gentleman ,and snurb the temptation of looking outside since she don't cares any more. And when a woman leave a man house without a good reason or violence, mothers and ladies we all know the wife has left an open doors for another woman .meanwhile another more beautiful lady is knocking and conjeee dey hold me each time ,bit I kept saying the devil you know is better than the angel one don't know .

Dude don't be a mumu. You are sending money to a woman that packed out of your house. She has left your jurisdiction. She is accountable and responsible for herself and the children now. Don't sponsor her stupidity by sending her money. If you keep sending the money to her you will plunge into poverty and she will ditch you last last if you do not recover financially. Finish that house. Put it up for rent. Invest in other businesses. The same leg she carry go outside she go carry am come house when she see wetin you don achieve. You be Igbo man na.

efficiencie:
Dude don't be a mumu. You are sending money to a woman that packed out of your house. She has left your jurisdiction. She is accountable and responsible for herself and the children now. Don't sponsor her stupidity by sending her money. If you keep sending the money to her you will plunge into poverty and she will ditch you last last if you do not recover financially. Finish that house. Put it up for rent. Invest in other businesses. The same leg she carry go outside she go carry am come house when she see wetin you don achieve. You be Igbo man na.

your responding like typical man, but i want you think deeper, if he doesnt send money for the kids, the kids will suffer or neglected that will
damage the kids forever and that might also make the kids hate their father in the future

For me i would still send money for the kids and keep record, that record will rescue me in the event the mum lies to the kids that your father never helped

Whether separated or not we still have to play our role as parents providing for our kids whether divorced or separated. Most men wont look after thier kids after separation due to the fear that the mum might eat the money with a new man etc but you cant be the judge and jury
how the mum will eat your money

But let time and records speak for you, time as in: in the long run time will tell who is a good parent. the records will prove your support incase mum lies to the kids

continue looking after your kids and dont rush to be proven right and dont give a woman excuses to poison your kids with negative comments about you as the father

Dont deprive your kids what their meant to enjoy and gain from u

efficiencie:
Dude don't be a mumu. You are sending money to a woman that packed out of your house. She has left your jurisdiction. She is accountable and responsible for herself and the children now. Don't sponsor her stupidity by sending her money. If you keep sending the money to her you will plunge into poverty and she will ditch you last last if you do not recover financially. Finish that house. Put it up for rent. Invest in other businesses. The same leg she carry go outside she go carry am come house when she see wetin you don achieve. You be Igbo man na.

. God bless u bro,na why I say nothing for her this months, Yoruba girl loading

ZIMDRILL:
your responding like typical man, but i want you think deeper, if he doesnt send money for the kids, the kids will suffer or neglected that will
damage the kids forever and that might also make the kids hate their father in the future

For me i would still send money for the kids and keep record, that record will rescue me in the event the mum lies to the kids that your father never helped

Whether separated or not we still have to play our role as parents providing for our kids whether divorced or separated. Most men wont look after thier kids after separation due to the fear that the mum might eat the money with a new man etc but you cant be the judge and jury
how the mum will eat your money

But let time and records speak for you, time as in: in the long run time will tell who is a good parent. the records will prove your support incase mum lies to the kids

continue looking after your kids and dont rush to be proven right and dont give a woman excuses to poison your kids with negative comments about you as the father

Dont deprive your kids what their meant to enjoy and gain from u

No dude. It is better for the man not to sponsor the errant woman in the name of fending for the kids. If she can leave the house with the kids then she is responsible for the kids. Even if he sends millions for the children the woman will still demonize the man and claim it is her hardwork that is providing the money. He should not send her shishi. He is not divorced, that woman is still his wife and she therefore should return home for the sake of the children. The man should invest his money for the sake of the future of the kids.