My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was - Family (3)

My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was (49962 Views)

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Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by SIRTee15: 12:43pm On Mar 12, 2022

UyaiIncomparabl:
You can help people without trying to bring them into your home. Help them from afar.

I also hope you aren't trying to outdo yourself in the name of "we rise by lifting others" by helping everyone who needs assistance? You'll fall while trying to find your feet.

Don't come and quote the Bible for me that says "it's better to give in nothingness". It doesn't exist. If you are rich and choose to be generous, I can understand. Seemingly, nothing like being "wealthy" was mentioned in your post. That being said, I can't tell you how to spend your money.

Also, the fact that your wife pretended before marriage to be what/who she is not is deceitful. Women should just be themselves, honestly. Who go rate you, go rate you.

Furthermore, you can't force people to believe in your cause. It's your prerogative to be philanthropic, not hers.

Be what you want to be in peace, and don't spite her for not following your cause. You'll only be brewing grounds for malice and hate. Learn to balance your home without affecting your relationship with outsiders and vice-versa. I hope these people you're aggressively clamouring for will go all out for you should you hit hard times. It's a cold world out there. Do you first, others follow afterwards.

I come in peace.

The best time to give is when u have nothing. Giving is a universal principle not a biblical.
Pls don't discourage the guy.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by franchasng: 12:44pm On Mar 12, 2022*

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

99% of Nigerian women are stingy, selfish and self centered.

Most of them hate to see their husbands help others. God forbid as a Nigerian lady's husband you try to help a young single girl, she would blackmail you with the accusation that she is your mistress.

Just find a way to help as many people as you wish to help without the knowledge of your wife.

Majority of black women are naturally wicked and selfish, this attitude of theirs manifest more once they marry a successful man

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Way4orward: 12:44pm On Mar 12, 2022

That's life bro.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by kwasoly(m): 12:45pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

As she never born the thing dey affect her psychologically...

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Judolisco(m): 12:46pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

About helping people, my dad paid a lot of family members sch fees without any of them living with us... U can help people without bringing them over.. People dey change... Na normal thing.. Sit ur wife down and talk to her

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by franchasng: 12:46pm On Mar 12, 2022

UyaiIncomparabl:
You can help people without trying to bring them into your home. Help them from afar.

I also hope you aren't trying to outdo yourself in the name of "we rise by lifting others" by helping everyone who needs assistance? You'll fall while trying to find your feet.

Don't come and quote the Bible for me that says "it's better to give in nothingness". It doesn't exist. If you are rich and choose to be generous, I can understand. Seemingly, nothing like being "wealthy" was mentioned in your post. That being said, I can't tell you how to spend your money.

Also, the fact that your wife pretended before marriage to be what/who she is not is deceitful. Women should just be themselves, honestly. Who go rate you, go rate you.

Furthermore, you can't force people to believe in your cause. It's your prerogative to be philanthropic, not hers.

Be what you want to be in peace, and don't spite her for not following your cause. You'll only be brewing grounds for malice and hate. Learn to balance your home without affecting your relationship with outsiders and vice-versa. I hope these people you're aggressively clamouring for will go all out for you should you hit hard times. It's a cold world out there. Do you first, others follow afterwards.

I come in peace.

Hi Uyali, I am sorry to tell you this plain truth.

Majority of Nigerian women are selfish, stingy and wicked by default.

Nigerian ladies stinginess, selfishness and wickedness towards those that aren't her closest or immediate family becomes more glaring when she marries a financially successful man.

You can quote me anywhere

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Socialmedia234: 12:47pm On Mar 12, 2022

UyaiIncomparabl:
You can help people without trying to bring them into your home. Help them from afar.

I also hope you aren't trying to outdo yourself in the name of "we rise by lifting others" by helping everyone who needs assistance? You'll fall while trying to find your feet.

Don't come and quote the Bible for me that says "it's better to give in nothingness". It doesn't exist. If you are rich and choose to be generous, I can understand. Seemingly, nothing like being "wealthy" was mentioned in your post. That being said, I can't tell you how to spend your money.

Also, the fact that your wife pretended before marriage to be what/who she is not is deceitful. Women should just be themselves, honestly. Who go rate you, go rate you.

Furthermore, you can't force people to believe in your cause. It's your prerogative to be philanthropic, not hers.

Be what you want to be in peace, and don't spite her for not following your cause. You'll only be brewing grounds for malice and hate. Learn to balance your home without affecting your relationship with outsiders and vice-versa. I hope these people you're aggressively clamouring for will go all out for you should you hit hard times. It's a cold world out there. Do you first, others follow afterwards.

I come in peace.

The mentality of a typical selfish Nigerian woman

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by BobbieZion(m): 12:48pm On Mar 12, 2022

The reason I have stopped been good to women.
Stop been nice to women..... It is considered weakness.
Stand your ground,tell them to their face,and always let them know u are not dependent neither insecure.
Let them know u can quit anyday.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by cococandy(f): 12:49pm On Mar 12, 2022

You’re no longer single now. You’re married with family responsibilities. Not to mention that you’re not financially stable yet. Learn financial planning first

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Nobody: 12:49pm On Mar 12, 2022

tensazangetsu20:
I get where your wife is coming from. As much as it's good to help you also need to plan for your family. You are a married man and your responsibility first and foremost is to your wife and your children. Nigeria has zero social contract so you need to always plan ten steps ahead. What if you lose your job tomorrow or your business takes a turn for the worst or Nigeria happens to you. Will those you have helped return the favour. Put your family first.

See the rubbish wey dey come out of your mouth.
Ewu

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Help2020: 12:49pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

You're like me. Helping is in my DNA but your wife is like my elder sister. For so many years she refused to allow her husband help anyone in our family. Right now almost all of us have disown her. She will soon start reaping the reward of her actions. As for your wife she will reap hers too if she does not change.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Johnsown1(m): 12:50pm On Mar 12, 2022

Some Women are like Rose in the morning but replical of devil at night. They will pretend to be good at the beginning but will show you their true colors at a later stage.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Help2020: 12:50pm On Mar 12, 2022

ZhanVeera:
If you really want to help people out of your will,, since that's what gives you joy go ahead, f
Financially though,

Sit her down and talk to her soul to soul, find out why she doesn't wants you to help people,, even her own family,, it's quite surprising,
Or else something is wrong with her,,

But the aspect of bringing people to your home to see them through school,,
It's not going to be an easy one and not advisable with the situations of things right now,
It might lead to unnecessary disagreements between the two of you,
So just forget about it,,

Above all you're the head of your house, lead well and she will follow you

Just want to let you knw that your dp is beautiful. Are you married?

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by EdwardRandy(m): 12:51pm On Mar 12, 2022

This is not an issue.

My wife can't tell me how to spend my money or who to help with my own money when her own money is clearly not involved, and especially when I know I have enough to provide for her and family. She can go on and rant for all I care.

One of the reasons why your wife or girlfriend must not know all your dealings with people and source of income.

From experience, you should always let your wife know what she deserves to know and not what she wants to know. It will bring peace to you on a long run.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by bigcee(m): 12:51pm On Mar 12, 2022

Fiscus105:
She wasn't, only that you were not observant enough.

Nobody can effectively hide his or her character if you are a good observant, many guys also hide their characters which often made the partner not exhibit hers too.

Meanwhile, ur excuse and allegation are flimsy, you need not inform your wife if truly you want to do charity.

Try to work on ur behavior to make ur marriage work.

May God bless you.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by diogo23: 12:52pm On Mar 12, 2022

MadamVanessa:

Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

I like your direct approach to issues weather it's against men or female

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Omotosho1090905(m): 12:52pm On Mar 12, 2022

I don't know how convenience it is for you helping people but if it gives you happiness and someone is trying to take that away all in the name of whatever we don't understand I would rather you find a way out, your soul needs to be on fire to have a happy life and it is what adds more fuel to it that you should embark on cus once you start the otherwise your life takes a dramatic change and you never know what the outcome might be

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by mirexxx(f): 12:53pm On Mar 12, 2022

chronique:
Lol. I've always said this and would always say it. When I want to marry a woman, I would obviously let her know that whatever wealth I acquire in the future isn't just meant for us a family but also for strangers. So long as I am taking care of you and the family and everyone else and you do not lack anything, whatever I do with the rest of the money after saving a lot for us, should not be your headache or problem.

I love men with this kind of mentality. not pushovers that women control

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by jeff1607(m): 12:54pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

There’s nothing wrong with her and she didn’t change, she used to be philanthropic and now with what you have that’s just ok with what you have at the moment you expect people into your life? Are u Norma (in mr macaroni’s voice)

You should count yourself lucky for her to have seen beyond now, once you start with those things you want to do, the peace you have now won’t be there anymore, everyone will want a piece of you and if you don’t give they term you a bad person or believe your wife is behind it.

Lastly, she is doing well.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by TheWolfen(m): 12:54pm On Mar 12, 2022

MadamVanessa:

Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Well said. Nothing to add anymore...

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by nokspos: 12:55pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
Oga you wife is your savior. how can you bring children into your house when you've not have your own children , don't you know its a forever thing ? if you want to help go and adopt child .

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Funkyswagzz(m): 12:55pm On Mar 12, 2022

MadamVanessa:

Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Getting married is easy buh divorce is difficult.. that is why women tend to pretend and i nearly fell for it.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by LordIsaac(m): 12:57pm On Mar 12, 2022

Women!

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by otokx(m): 12:57pm On Mar 12, 2022

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Don't do anything.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:59pm On Mar 12, 2022

Socialmedia234:
The mentality of a typical selfish Nigerian woman

Lol.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by BeautyB99(f): 12:59pm On Mar 12, 2022

[quote author=MadamVanessa post=110966350] shocked

Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

Like the op said she was only pretending to be who she is just to get married and well she finally succeeded, but in this case I will advise you to continue with your good work even if your wife is not doing it, still help people and another thing always pray for your wife to have a change of heart

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Lakenzie: 1:00pm On Mar 12, 2022

Best of giving is when the next person to you isn’t aware.

Help people silently, must your wife know?

if you’re not doing it for showoff, then do it silently.

Peace

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by busomma: 1:02pm On Mar 12, 2022

Sorry my brother, looks like u entered one chance. Welcome to the world of women.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:03pm On Mar 12, 2022

SIRTee15:
The best time to give is when u have nothing. Giving is a universal principle not a biblical.
Pls don't discourage the guy.

I don't believe in all that bunkum.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by ArcSEMPECJ(m): 1:04pm On Mar 12, 2022

O.P if given is also a source of happiness for you , and you believe your blessings comes from there as you pray to God to bless you so you can bless other........the prayer is a strong prayer of promise....

To keep it, you need to take your wife out of the picture, at a time she will adjust to it ...

But atimes listen to what she may be saying, those gender get foresight.....
Listen but don't discuss with her......do check and balancing then pray before taking a decision .....

God gat you bro...

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Newboss(m): 1:05pm On Mar 12, 2022

Mumu simp help yourself. You're a man. Don't take permission from her.

If she complains, tell her to STFU or leave your house.

Re: My Wife Is Surprising Me; She Is Now A Direct Opposite Of Whom I Thought She Was by Abfinest007(m): 1:05pm On Mar 12, 2022

U must not accommodate the anyone before helping them .if u want to pay for eir school fees .do it without letting her know . remember the Bible says "ur right hand shouldn't know when ur left hand is giving out.do ur giving in secret and God will reward u openly

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

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