lordm:
I remember one of my ex left me because I was slim, women!

Wait!!! Are you for real??

MadamVanessa:




Fake women everywhere , faking their life just to get married to a man.

Why pretending to be who you're not, you just want to pretend just to get married.

Op your wife wasn't a phila let's not even talk of nthropist, she's a selfish and a self-centered kind of person. She knows the type of person you are hence she pretend to be a giver and she succeeded in pressing your mumu button.

She wanted you to marry her and she has succeeded, now is the time for her to show you her real self. If you're not comfortable with the marriage , you can opt for divorce . Let her take her self-centered body to somewhere else.

She only told him fictitious stories.
Women have made me coined words like no be every market Dem dey sell with mouth!

SweetVibe:

Wait!!! Are you for real??

yes bro.

Psoul:


Oga stop bn a Solution when you are still a Problem to be solved.
You don't understand it...right?
All I mean is that, you have to stand well before you start growing branches. If not the branches will fall you down.
It is very good to help people, but don't take too much responsibilities that may weigh you down.
I am talking out of experience.
Try to focus more on yourself and family.
Wen you make it, you will be able to do greater things for people.
This might be the area your wife is kicking from.
Women (good ones) will always think of their immediate families (Husband & kids) securing a better future before thinking of any other relative.
You still have a long way to go. Think about that.
Even the Bible says, "love your neighbour as you love yourself."
It never says love them more than yourself.
When you start doing more for ur neighbours more than you do for yourself/family, na sin ooo.

Let him do what he can do for himself&wife to neighbours.

Hide and do your giving in peace. I know of someone who's wife hates that he gives. Even the kids look out for their mom. So the guy gives codedly.
One instance, he was in the estate pharmacy buying drugs with his kids and added extra to the cashier while paying. She called him back and his response was "that's yours. Are you sure that's not yours" . The lady knew almost immediately. I've witnessed first hand too. And the guy's a pastor and a bank manager. I'm sure he's learnt to understand and deal wisely with that.
Since you af married her already. Na to manage am be that since she's not all that terrible.
She may be putting your best interest at hand out of ignorance. She doesn't know that he that scattereth according to the laws of nature tends to plenty. And he that withholds turns to nothing.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Run from here, she's after your money...no talk say I no tell u.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

I think she perceives you as someone who overgives

Abeg, help them at their parents house.

MarketDispatch:


I'm tempted to give your comments 100 votes

Me too. Respect to that female for saying it the way we know it..

Categorically, Women are selfish creature. Rare to see one that have the heart of giving. Man up and you're the Lord of the house, I see no fault to helping the needy even little at least. Talk sense into her and use TV programmes or movies on such as an example to orient her.

A woman is naturally selfish, its her strength and her weakness too. Lucky are you when she considers you as a part of herself, and of course its has its downsides like the one you're experiencing.

She doesn't have a child yet but you're running up and down looking for whose child to train. Sir, it's not like that.

RightToReject:
You're a victim of your own ignorance and unpronounced philosophy that places materialism above spiritualism; thus, the reasons why you didn't know that being philanthropic/charitable doesn't automatically equate to being kind - know it now that most acts of philanthropy are embedded with self-absorbing intentions. You got yourself a self-centered woman whereas you had in mind to get yourself a selfless woman, lol.

Also, you're the kind of person that is in the habit of mistaking people who take to posturing for people who've self-respect - posturing isn't the same thing as having self-respect and being just.

In all you get as a man, get discernment.

Very insightful.

uptownemmygee:
Must your wife knows you want to help people, just do the thing for her back and move on,,,,, SIMP oshi

. Eh dey behave like one of my bros that year, can't tell if he has changed his ways now. Na everything him dey tell the wife. I don ghost am for years now. Correct Simp.

SmartPolician:


Nobody, and I repeat, nobody has ever gone broke by helping others.

Nature/God has a way of rewarding people.

While you may not be the richest, but you can never go broke because you helped people.

The truth is, this world is way mysterious than most of us think.

I do not agree, I am sorry.

Why shoud you want your wife to carry the burden of another person's child? If you want to help people help them and be wise enough to keep them out of your home...
Bring 1 or 2 children into your home
What if something happens to them in your house? What if they get kidnapped or fall sick and die in your house? What will you tell the parents? It's like you've not seen problem that is why you want to use your hand to bring it upon yourself...

Unmarried women out here, PRAY that you don't marry a man who lacks wisdom.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

I hope you are not that boy that said he went to his village to marry unknown Queen or Angel advising other fellow folks to follow his step?

It is in NL I have seen a guy saw a lady within 3 weeks of knowing each other they got married 7 months later he came here asking for which way easier to divorce he is fed up.

Check yourself young man from what I just said you know where your mistake is pls rectify it before its too late. You can not within 3 months or 6 moth know someone who is not your sister or brother fully well it always end in deception and regret.

RightToReject:
You're a victim of your own ignorance and unpronounced philosophy that places materialism above spiritualism; thus, the reasons why you didn't know that being philanthropic/charitable doesn't automatically equate to being kind - know it now that most acts of philanthropy are embedded with self-absorbing intentions. You got yourself a self-centered woman whereas you had in mind to get yourself a selfless woman, lol.

Also, you're the kind of person that is in the habit of mistaking people who take to posturing for people who've self-respect - posturing isn't the same thing as having self-respect and being just.

In all you get as a man, get discernment.

Wow, better oil dey your head... Op, please read this again and again. Then you' ll have a clear understanding to your current confusion.

Don't make the mistake of having kids with that kind of selfish behaviour. She will bring you down. if you scrutinize her background, you see that her behaviour is inherent and your prospective children will inherit the same trait. Some people are not just cut out to give and they are the losers.

UyaiIncomparabl:


I do not agree, I am sorry.

I always tell people, "What you believe in cannot change what is."

Tell me you have seen one rich man who became broke because he goes about helping people, then I know you are a pathological liar (no offense intended).

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Help but MAKE SURE YOU DO IT WITH SERIOUS control... She has her fears for kicking against it. People take advantage of generous people.

There was a Nairaland member that made a quote that has stuck to me... "if you act like food, people will eat you"

While it is good to be good, don't overdo it because you will regret it for real. I have seen people do good to their own detriment that led to their own death and the children suffered because of that. Listen to your wife.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Please how old was you wife when you guys dated dating

SmartPolician:


I always tell people, "What you believe in cannot change what is."

Tell me you have seen one rich man who became broke because he goes about helping people, then I know you are a pathological liar (no offense intended).

Thank God say you said "RICH".

Where in the post did the OP mention he is rich?

I will oblige you to read the initial paragraph you quoted in my first post. This time, slowly.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Thank God say you said "RICH".

Where in the post did the OP mention he is rich?

I will oblige you to read the initial paragraph you quoted in my first post. This time, slowly.

The point is, whether rich or not, you should just know that nobody can empty their account to help the next person. That's the major point here.

Beyond that, nature has a way of rewarding people for both good and bad deeds. Guess what, whether we believe or not cannot change that.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Thank God say you said "RICH".

Where in the post did the OP mention he is rich?

I will oblige you to read the initial paragraph you quoted in my first post. This time, slowly.

Can an ocean runs dry....No
Can a fountain stop flowing....No
Can a Lilly flower stop bringing out it fragrance..No

Wisest contribution...

UyaiIncomparabl:
You can help people without trying to bring them into your home. Help them from afar.

I also hope you aren't trying to outdo yourself in the name of "we rise by lifting others" by helping everyone who needs assistance? You'll fall while trying to find your feet.

Be what you want to be in peace, and don't spite her for not following your cause. You'll only be brewing grounds for malice and hate. Learn to balance your home without affecting your relationship with outsiders and vice-versa.

Funkyswagzz:


Getting married is easy buh divorce is difficult.. that is why women tend to pretend and i nearly fell for it.

I could easily smell the filthy tricks.. I had experience of the same kind with two ex-chicz....
There's a motive behind their giving, especially when both of you are of marriageable ages and in a romance.

I once told one that, she buying me things doesn't make me feel comfortable and I see it as some sort of debt I would be dragged to pay for someday. I knew she was trying to lure me into marrying her.

Many women hardly help, but when they do, I sense a payback somehow.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all

OP she might be right 1%. And others may be making use of you. Not that she does not like giving, but she may be looking at it from the aspect that you people really don't have, really need to build a future, and others might really be trying to make use of you.

2. Sometimes you give people more by saying No.

3. Learn to give people what you perceive they are in truly in need of. That is what God wants. It may be to refer them to what to do. It may be to deny your side so that they might realise the option they really had to take (some persons will slothfully call you if they feel you are the easy option. If you encourage that they might become wicked with time).


Saying No isn't always bad. Let in only be said if you perceive it is what is good.

St. Paul said: "He that will not work, let him not eat." (2 Thess 3:10). Meaning that you could say no to who had the opportunity to work and refused, that the backfiring hunger may prevent him from being encouraged in sin.


So saying No could be the will of God even for your relatives.

Save for your future children (It's an obligation). Your wife may be right.


3. Also sometimes help might be about calling the others who could help and forcing them to help out. Help could be many things. Just do what Christ could have done in each case.


Help could be networking. In summary, always give people their TRUE need, as you think Christ would have done.


You could start by emotionally giving your wife her true need.



One Hail Mary for you and your family. Ave Maria

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,
it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

It is too soon to carry anyone's child and put inside house please. That one you are saying small children is not like that. It is your wife who will cook and care for them, worry about school runs and all the planning that revolves about caring for children.

Other than that, communicate with your wife on your ideology of giving. It is truly blessed give

U have bn scammed brah!
Have you tried buying sth from our 'traders' in Alaba market, computer village or any other market b4?
When bargaining with them, they smile with u, swallow ur insults, allow u to step on them, but as soon as u (make d mistake of ) giving them d money, they bcom ur master!
That money will never leave their hands again, if u like go bring police come!

Obviously ur woman na pretender, she needed that ring badly and as she done getam, she reverts back to her real position!

My 'condolences' to d married!

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.


I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody.

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Whose money is used for these philanthropic gestures?
If it's hers, she has the right to say no.
If it's yours and it's affecting the financial status of the family, she still has the right to say no.
Perhaps she sees all the people you're giving to as not needing it. Sometimes people take advantage of your generosity and decide to become leeches. This might be what made her change.

Besides bringing in children for your wife to raise is very inconsiderate of you.
Very.
You want her to put her life on a shelf and do your bidding because you're a generous man?
Do you know what it takes to raise kids? Not to talk of kids not yours?
You need her consent and she needs to want to do it or else you'll be setting the kids up for some serious trouble.