₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
Bless you for this.

Everyone is marrying because of societal belief and expectations and not because they are ready in all ramifications. Which is very very baaaaad.

I see the men are not finding this post funny but it is what it is. So, let them deal with it.

Nice one, OP.

You are right, money is very important when it comes to marriage so as to enjoy the marriage, but not the only case to consider. Attitude is a long way more important as money, under normal circumstances, where they both have the right attitude, understanding, God-Fearing, loving, caring, selfless, committed, having money would make the journey worthwhile and everlasting.

bukatyne:
Happy new year sis, we are all good, thanks for checking up.

Work is crazy I need to retire quickly; I was made for the baby girl lifestyle.

I hope you are all good also?

Happy new year my dear. Glad it's just work

Man gat to survive na
We are fine, thanks.

MARS1:
You are right, money is very important when it comes to marriage so as to enjoy the marriage, but not the only case to consider. Attitude is a long way more important as money, under normal circumstances, where they both have the right attitude, understanding, God-Fearing, loving, caring, selfless, committed, having money would make the journey worthwhile and everlasting.

Yes. These other factors you mentioned are equally important but the major key factor is financial security in marriage. Even the Bible says, money answereth all things.

I can't imagine myself going into Marriage with a man who has no bearing with my two eyes open all because society believes I should be married by age 40 or thereabout.

Society been causing unnecessary pressure that has landed so many into abject poverty and suffering. Meanwhile, they hardly offer any help or succor to such families.

Damn society!

Mercychen:
Yes. These other factors you mentioned are equally important but the major key factor is financial security in marriage. Even the Bible says, money answereth all things.

I can't imagine myself going into Marriage with a man who has no bearing with my two eyes open all because society believes I should be married by age 40 or thereabout.

Society been causing unnecessary pressure that has landed so many into abject poverty and suffering. Meanwhile, they hardly offer any help or succor to such families.

Damn society!

so let me ask, you have four options...............

One, he is rich, poor in respect, nags, complains at everything you do, and he womanizes a lot.........


Second, loyal, nice, not financially buoyant, but tomorrow looks bright and radiating, not a womanizer, God-fearing, churchy, humble and caring even with his little.

Third, he is rich, loyal, nice and he makes it known that he would find it hard to marry one woman, but he is everything you want in a man attitude wise.....

Fourth, he is rich, nice, caring, loving, churchy, worker in church, dedicated and he is all you want in man. He believes in one man one woman, does not womanizer...........

Oya choose your top two.........

MARS1:
so let me ask, you have four options...............

One, he is rich, poor in respect, nags, complains at everything you do, and he womanizes a lot.........


Second, loyal, nice, not financially buoyant, but tomorrow looks bright and radiating, not a womanizer, God-fearing, churchy, humble and caring even with his little.

Third, he is rich, loyal, nice and he makes it known that he would find it hard to marry one woman, but he is everything you want in a man attitude wise.....

Fourth, he is rich, nice, caring, loving, churchy, worker in church, dedicated and he is all you want in man. He believes in one man one woman, does not womanizer...........

Oya choose your top two.........

Like I said. Money is very Paramount. Therefore, it shouldn't be an option.

descarado:
Happy new year my dear. Glad it's just work

Man gat to survive na
We are fine, thanks.

I have registered on Soompi & subscribed to Viki

bukatyne:


I have registered on Soompi & subscribed to Viki

Ooh
Welcome,welcome

You are now permanently my k drama sis. Addiction overloading .

msMonyei:
Business is better than a job, and the OP sounds so stupid. Please men should stop marrying ladies up to 30 years old, for most of them walk with the same mindset as the OP hence their delay, never settle for less...

Well said.

pmoye:
This is advice is really for Nigerian ladies. Please and please do not marry a man that is not rich. Your very life will depend on it. You heard me... How long you live as a woman may well depend on how rich your husband is. This may seem like an over-generalization, but a very needful one. Quite a troubling percentage of Nigerian men can not handle a woman who is more financially buoyant.

Ideally it shouldn't matter how much each person earns, because I believe that the husband and the wife should be one financially. That the home should be planned like a company with budgets, financial planning, sound auditing and all... But from the much we have seen around the average Nigerian family is far from this ideal. We often have what increasingly looks like a union that appears more to serve a cultural/societal expectation, a union that is sustained just so that the society can think you are happily married, while between the man and the wife it is more like between US and China, between Northern and Southern Nigeria, a perpetual cold war and bitter jostling for resource allocation and control.

I have seen women who have died because the husbands couldn't afford antenatal care and used ego-motivated argument to keep the women from accessing timely medical care... And of course, few years or even months after that those wicked men would later bring in other wives into the house.

The poorer the man, the more wicked, the more angry, and the more deadly he generally is in Nigeria. Do not let any man or any woman convince you to marry for love. There is no such thing as that, just a queer surge of hormones that makes you think you are in love. If you marry a poor man for love, hunger and suffering will soon reset your thinking, and by then most women feel too culturally compelled to remain with the toxin of a husband they have. Take a cue from evolutionary development in animal kingdom generally where females select the most suitable male for mating.

Do not simply believe in a man's future plans and dreams. If he doesn't have money now, he is not ready to be a husband. No matter how much you think you love him, treat him like the case of AS genotype (yours) marrying an SS genotype (his). And this is something I respect some Igbo men for. They will never think of marrying a woman unless they are economically ready.

If he is earning N30,000, or N40,000 or N90,000 per month he is not ready to marry. These are just examples from posts I have seen around here. Do not be fooled, the amount on the payslip is not always available for taking care of the home. But that's the talk for another day.

Some of us are probably never going to get married, I personally find it very scary to read about how men because of poverty increasingly turn against their wives in marriage... I may be too traditional though, because I do not fvcking care the money the wife is bringing into the house. Her role as a mother and a wife is already supremely more than you need to compensate for as a man. If you are a man, do not get close to a man when you are still poor. It is wickedness. It is dishonesty. It is crime against humanity. Do not sell her a future hope of becoming a pastor and other popular silliness.

Marrying a lady when you cannot completely and single-handedly take care of her is gender violence. Stop it.

That's true, but sometimes love can control people's minds and blind them to the truth. When a rich man wants to marry a girl, people might say she only wants to marry him for his money, even if she truly loves him for the right reasons.