My brother RUN OOOOO

Kobojunkie:
Tell her that the calls and conversations have become a little bit uncomfortable for you. Say you wish you could be of help, but sadly you seem to have reached the limit to your comfort level and watch to see if she will not pull it back herself or even go out to seek conversation elsewhere.

I think it immature to simply ghost friends when honesty is the best policy and will go a long way in helping then understand what is wrong and realize what needs to be fixed and by whom.

If it turns out she has in fact developed feelings for you in the time you both have been in touch, by telling her your truth, she will know to nip it in the bud asap rather than let it wallow.

You are right..but men deem it right to just ghost a woman or give excuses than to tell them in their faces how he no longer welcome their closeness because its becoming inappropriate. This because women don't take rejection lightly. The woman will develope a sudden hatred for him and even start speaking bad about him to her hubby..to the point both guys relationship will be soiled cos the hubby might be thinking his best friend wants to lay his wife.

Women are manipulative.

Take it or leave it. No woman likes to hear the truth..especially when it has to do with rejection. So best thing is to ghost them.

@Op cut off permanently from her. You don't want stories that touch.

Death loves calling you. Better flee from her.

You have spoken well.

EmzyT:
All i see is a Man who trust his fellow friend so much even to the extent of placing his wife in his Friend's care! I refuse to believe that she doesn't have female friends who she should be calling if she's 'Bored' like you claimed she used to be or better still, Sisters or even Relatives she can Speak with

It's Very Obvious the lady married a SIMP though and it's just a matter of time before she starts Jumping from one dick to another!

BUT

OGA, If you Love and respect that your friend and Cherish the Friendship you two Share together, then CUT HER OFF immidiately!

I’M OUT OF HERE!!!!

Cut off any healthy friendship you have with her.

Sixfiguresmart:
So, she felt bored since she moved in from her previous base. She got not friends around and was always home. Friends has a tasking job.
So, he asked me to call her sometimes when I am free. I call and we have healthy conversations for hours. I am very cautious of any emotional strings. I spell it out to her in clever ways during the conversations.

However, it is becoming addictive. She obliges to certain things only when I ask her to even after declining her husband's suggestions. My friend is so soft and can't seem to handle a tough and educated lady like her.
So, she compares me to him few times and wants him to be like me in terms of being conversational and humurous. Her man isn't willing to change.

So, I am distancing myself away from her because it is becoming an addiction for her to express herself freely with me and spend more time with me rather than my friend. I step in each time they quarrel.

Should I continue the healthy conversation spree or continue with my busy shedule excuses?

You want us to give you go ahead on your bad intentions, you better cut her off ASAP

jaxxy:
Yes I do get ur point bt these gals just liked me they didn't even know any of us well enough to talk about love and it wasn't that deep. These were casual relationships that were probably going nowhere serious.

You don't need to know anyone so well to like em like that. That is typically the way crushes work, isn't it?

Females don't always open up about their emotions to men especially in a place like Nigeria where society frowns on such things. Many even play good girl for as long as the feelings carry them hoping that one day the one they like will finally see and give them a chance.

To you, the relationships were likely going nowhere but to them it may have been worth it investing even their time dating your friends to wait and see.

LegitGirl:
She will accuse him of making insinuations.
Things may genuinely be totally innocent at this stage. And she may be naive.
So talking about being uncomfortable would be misconstrued... as though he's accusing her of something. Or that he's himself developing feelings for her.
He won't be ghosting. He'll simply be gradually creating a distance. RESPECTFULLY.

But that's actually the point. If she senses that she is being accused of something by him. She will have to gradually pull back or reevaluate her investment in the relationship and decide what to do next without necessarily spoiling the general rapport between them.

The problem here stems from the fact that she and her own husband don't seem to have a rapport of their own and I can very much understand why she would seek to find friends outside who will listen and keep her company.

I am not against a man and woman being friends. I have seen such friendships in my time and have had some too. What I am for is for it to be managed in a manner that is respectful to the unselfish goals and desires of those involved. If he wants to be a friend to his friend's wife, I see nothing wrong with that and if she wants to be friends with him, same. Such friendships can exist and remain healthy for decades if both individuals are willing to be honest with each other every step of the way is what I have observed and believe.

jaxxy:


There smtn called deflecting hype. I do it for my friends and they do same for me. It's like blowing ur friends trumpet and being his hype man instead of trying to take the glory or act too smart, conceited and corky.

When I see he likes sm1 bt that person likes me I deflect the hype she gives me to him and it works cos she begins to like/appreciate him as she likes me or she gets tired of me cos i won't stop hyping my friend in our conversations stylishly. Then I'm free of her troubles and the problem is solved.

It's like doing ur friend a favour.

You deserve a medal.

You actually know what's up.

It's also what I do, and it always work very well.

Emaprince:
You are right..but men deem it right to just ghost a woman or give excuses than to tell them in their faces how he no longer welcome their closeness because its becoming inappropriate.

1. This because women don't take rejection lightly. The woman will develope a sudden hatred for him and even start speaking bad about him to her hubby..to the point both guys relationship will be soiled cos the hubby might be thinking his best friend wants to lay his wife.

2. Women are manipulative.Take it or leave it. No woman likes to hear the truth..especially when it has to do with rejection. So best thing is to ghost them.

1. Men also don't take rejection lightly. Have you not seen the romance section on here littered with posts from men who can't seem to accept they have been dumped?

Even the redpill group are made of men who instead took rejection to an extreme. This isn't a gender thing at all. Rejection is hard on both innies and outies. However, when the person needing to be rejected is a close friend, it is good to, in respect of your friendship, to be willing to honestly stand your case yet this while allowing the other person process it whichever way he or she will.

These two are both married and believe they are simply friends. If one of them reveals to the other that he/she is having a hard time keeping the simple relationship going, ofcourse the other, not wanting to loose a good friendship may suggest a separation for the time being or something along those lines if the friendship is of value to him/her. However, if an absolute end to the relationship is what the one seeks, then it should also be communicated and the other allowed to deal in his/her way.

What I noticed here is OP assuming to tell us about the friendship as if from her side without really letting us know if he himself is the one struggling. That is why I think he needs to be honest with her in order to resolve the friendship as best fits them both.

2. As for being manipulative, there is no difference between both genders as far as manipulation. If you observe children, you will note they are equally manipulative so no one gender has the edge as far as that is concerned.

Dickson178:
Na God go punish you if you spoiled their peaceful home

when a woman starys comparing u to her husband,who happens to be ur friend,it is a bad sign,and u need to quickly step back. Such leads to affairs u both will regret.

Continue with your busy schedule excuses while making plans to scram permanently before goat will now eat yam or vice versa.

Kobojunkie:
But that's actually the point.[b] If she senses that she is being accused of something by him. [/b]She will have to gradually pull back or reevaluate her investment in the relationship and decide what to do next without necessarily spoiling the general rapport between them.

The problem here stems from the fact that she and her own husband don't seem to have a rapport of their own and I can very much understand why she would seek to find friends outside who will listen and keep her company.

I am not against a man and woman being friends. I have seen such friendships in my time and have had some too. What I am for is for it to be managed in a manner that is respectful to the unselfish goals and desires of those involved. If he wants to be a friend to his friend's wife, I see nothing wrong with that and if she wants to be friends with him, same. Such friendships can exist and remain healthy for decades if both individuals are willing to be honest with each other every step of the way is what I have observed and believe.

@emboldened. I don't think it's okay for him to accuse her of something that's merely a potential. Especially if she has not remotely considered the possibility.

I also do not think it's healthy for married people of opposite sexes to be such "close friend," talking for hours on end.

Feelings will very easily develop and things will go south.

So he should create a wide berth, but without in any way accusing her.

Exit yourself from their midst

LegitGirl:
1. @emboldened. I don't think it's okay for him to accuse her of something that's merely a potential. Especially if she has not remotely considered the possibility.

2. I also do not think it's healthy for married people of opposite sexes to be such "close friend," talking for hours on end. Feelings will very easily develop and things will go south.So he should create a wide berth, but without in any way accusing her.

1. That I why, again, I called for him to be honest with her, rather than what he claims his OP.

2. I don't have a problem with married people being friends with each other. I know of many who have been friends since high school and are now married to other individuals even as their friendships continue to blossom. Some are emotionally mature enough to handle such where others aren't.

The husband is a fool for asking you to call her often! What about his siblings, mother et al. My brother I told a friend who's a marriage man to disturb her husband instead of me. Perhaps, I no be company keeper!

Pretend you're a busy man too, it'll become emotional. Stay away from fornication!

Sixfiguresmart:
So, she felt bored since she moved in from her previous base. She got not friends around and was always home. Friends has a tasking job.
So, he asked me to call her sometimes when I am free. I call and we have healthy conversations for hours. I am very cautious of any emotional strings. I spell it out to her in clever ways during the conversations.

However, it is becoming addictive. She obliges to certain things only when I ask her to even after declining her husband's suggestions. My friend is so soft and can't seem to handle a tough and educated lady like her.
So, she compares me to him few times and wants him to be like me in terms of being conversational and humurous. Her man isn't willing to change.

So, I am distancing myself away from her because it is becoming an addiction for her to express herself freely with me and spend more time with me rather than my friend. I step in each time they quarrel.

Should I continue the healthy conversation spree or continue with my busy shedule excuses?

Don't betray him because of a woman.

Most of them will want the face of otedola, in dangote's body and a ruggedity of Elon musk with a sprinkle of Putin.

A bro before woman...

The only woman before a bro is your mom, your sister, your wife or your daughter.

She is shifting focus from her man to you, if I am you, I will give her a surface of Exactly what her man is to redirect her mindset to see it as all men are the same..Then fall back to her man.

The more you give her exactly what she wanted, the more she drifts away from your friend.

This a reason why I don't like making my friend's babe or wives too relaxed around me..

Women are wired differently..If she gets too closer, I wear my cold uniform...

Na only my woman suppose enjoy the sweet and comfortable side of me...Any other must be in check..Before Ndaa's goat will chop Ndaa's yam.

Kobojunkie:
1. Men also don't take rejection lightly. Have you not seen the romance section on here littered with posts from men who can't seem to accept they have been dumped? Even the redpill group are made of men who instead took rejection to an extreme. This isn't a gender thing at all. Rejection is hard on both innies and outies, however when they person to be rejected is a friend, it is good to respect the friendship and be willing to honestly stand your case and allow the person process it whichever way he or she will.

These two are both married and believe they are simply friends. If one of them reveals to the other that he/she is having a hard time keeping the simple relationship going, ofcourse the other, not wanting to loose a good friendship may suggest a separation for the time being or something along those lines if the friendship is of value to him/her. However, if an absolute end to the relationship is what the one seeks, then it should also be communicated and the other allowed to deal in his/her way.

What I noticed here is OP assuming to tell us about the friendship as if from her side without really letting us know if he himself is the one struggling. That is why I think he needs to be honest with her in order to resolve the friendship as best fits them both.

2. As for being manipulative, th is no difference between both genders as far as manipulation. If you observe childrenere, you will note they are equally manipulative so no one gender has the edge as far as that is concerned.

But some particular set of ladies were very good at it.... takes a lot of wisdom to outsmart them

segcymoor:
But some particular set of ladies were very good at it.... takes a lot of wisdom to outsmart them

Not some particular ladies but instead some particular individuals ... gender has little or nothing to do with manipulation. Even children to it to their parents.

And speaking of wisdom to outsmart manipulator... I know I no get the mental power to engage a manipulative character so in almost every instance I find myself with such person's, I jejely walk out of the relationship before it gets bad for me.

Sixfiguresmart:

Should I continue the healthy conversation spree or continue with my busy shedule excuses?

So you are the jobless ome that knows how to spend time keeping women company that is why your friend gave you that assignment. I would be mad at any friend that gives me such task.
Worst of all is you are still blind to the fact that your toes are already on the line already. You have crossed the line and nobody will listen to this yeye talk if events should turn against you right now. You would be the perfect scape goat for a totally avoidable matter.

Kobojunkie:
1. That I why, again, I called for him to be honest with her, rather than what he claims his OP.

2. I don't have a problem with married people being friends with each other. I know of many who have been friends since high school and are now married to other individuals even as their friendships continue to blossom. Some are emotionally mature enough to handle such where others aren't.

But it's not about what you're okay with.

LegitGirl:
But it's not about what you're okay with.

I can only speak from personal conviction in this and all things.

I Blame Buhari!

Kobojunkie:
Not some particular ladies but instead some particular individuals ... gender has little or nothing to do with manipulation. Even children to it to their parents.

And speaking of wisdom to outsmart manipulator... I know I no get the mental power to engage a manipulative character so in almost every instance I find myself with such person's, I jejely walk out of the relationship before it gets bad for me.

I agree with you completely....but trouble na my work...I Sabi how to play along





Defend mechanism....

segcymoor:
[/b]I agree with you completely....but trouble na my work...I Sabi how to play along
Defend mechanism....

I no like drama at all at all for this life of mine. I literally walk on people when they begin to drag what is drama around.

Even for house, I no dey even make sound when argument dey happen. I go just sit down wait till them finish before I go continuing doing wetin I been dey do before.

BriggsBryan:
“ I call and we have healthy conversations for hours” - Get yourself a job and get busy.

I do have a job. I can talk while at work for hours. At least 6 hours each work day.
Get the point. My friend and I got jobs. His job is more tasking. He gets home exhausted and he has a lackadaisical approach to life.
Try to understand the situation. Things happen fast. I knew there was a problem when I'd ask her to do something that she had already declined from her husband and she would oblige. He callously asks me to talk her into doing things. Is like he has no control of the woman. Pleading and begging and literally he hands her 200k each month without a track on how the cash is spent. But, I can track the cash.

I am very detailed and I don't let a woman control me. I stand my ground but he gives in too easily. I dunno why. I try to get him to stand strong as a man and place his feet on the ground. What I see is that, she needs a man who is domineering. A man who strips off her educated wings and makes her understand that she is a woman and someone who needs protection.

I feel weak. Is like their relationship hangs on my shoulder. I feel pity for him and sometimes pissed off.

Kobojunkie:
Tell her that the calls and conversations have become a little bit uncomfortable for you. Say you wish you could be of help, but sadly you seem to have reached the limit to your comfort level and watch to see if she will not pull it back herself or even go out to seek conversation elsewhere.

I think it immature to simply ghost friends when honesty is the best policy and will go a long way in helping then understand what is wrong and realize what needs to be fixed and by whom.

If it turns out she has in fact developed feelings for you in the time you both have been in touch, by telling her your truth, she will know to nip it in the bud asap rather than let it wallow.

OP is confused because he too os feeling the "electromagnetic force of attraction".. ...

kkins25:
OP is confused because he too os feeling the "electromagnetic force of attraction".. ...

Yeah, but he conveniently offloads the blame on the woman suggesting she is instead the one developing feelings for him .I.e. addicted to him... did you notice that?

Kobojunkie:
Yeah, but he conveniently offloads the blame on the woman suggesting she is instead developing feelings for him... did you notice that?

. Im only here to watch and learn from history.
But who turms down amebi?? Kikikiki...

My man has identified himself as a better 'man' than his friend. He has confessed to having more control of the wife than his friend.

Where he got the idea that she loves him was probably formed in his own mind. women can be that complex(i won't forget my experience in sec school. i thought she liked me too )

"Pleading and begging and literally he hands her 200k each month without a track on how the cash is spent. But, I can track the cash."..

look what we have up there.. kikikiki...
But it doesn't end there, there is more:

"I am very detailed and I don't let a woman control me. I stand my ground but he gives in too easily. I dunno why. I try to get him to stand strong as a man and place his feet on the ground. What I see is that, she needs a man who is domineering. A man who strips off her educated wings and makes her understand that she is a woman and someone who needs protection.".

Op, Tell us the truth!! ¡!!!!!!!!!!!

kkins25:
. Im only here to watch and learn from history.
But who turms down amebi?? Kikikiki...

My man has identified himself as a better 'man' than his friend. He has confessed to having more control of the wife than his friend.
Where he got the idea that she loves him was probably formed in his own mind. women can be that complex(i won't forget my experience in sec school. i thought she liked me too )

"Pleading and begging and literally he hands her 200k each month without a track on how the cash is spent. But, I can track the cash."..

look what we have up there.. kikikiki...
But it doesn't end there, there is more:

Op, Tell us the truth!! ¡!!!!!!!!!!!

Na wa ooo!