₦airaland Forum

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

postmann:
In pure undiluted scriptural standard, you've committed adultery with him already. Just so you know that.

But rather more important is your very last paragraph of advice to other women who might be going through similar temptation as you. Here, let me quote you:

"Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings"

Now, here's the irony buried in the paragraph before last:

"Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine"

While you still keep the door ajar for prospective adultery with this same idiot, (most likely when you and hubby have a fight) you are advising other women going through similar challenge to cut off chats totally. You know the intention of this iniquitous pig and your own abominable longings and vulnerability towards him yet you still entertain his obviously probing "how are you's." You're still an unrepentant adulterer and you need counseling and deliverance before entertaining the idea of climbing that virtual pulpit you just did by preaching this sermon. And may GOD help your husband who's ignorant enough to permit that stupid work of yours that has no respect for matrimony to post you outside his location.

CSTRR:
If that man was not born again, he would have slept with you because he would have never let go that easily.

Na him go even dey pour fuel to your fire of affections for him.
You are lucky.

Acidosis:
I don't have a problem with keeping friends of the opposite sex as a married man or woman. The distance between you and your spouse and the excuse of incompatibility are the main issues here and not your friendship with the opposite sex. I see this a lot and wonder why people just love to deceive themselves.

Cheating is a deliberate act. Friendship or no friendship, you're never always going to be with people of the same sex. You will meet fine men and women, you will meet good public speakers, great writers, excellent political analysts. Okay fine, they speak better than your spouse, so what next?? Open your pyant??

You cannot tell people to cut off communication with the opposite sex because you're now married, please. That's a sign of irresponsibility, evidence of total lack of self-control and a red flag.

The excuses you sort of gave yourself are the issues. Establish the kind of communication you have with those friends with your spouse and you'll be fine. If you don't have sensible things in common to talk about, simply gossip and make stup!d jokes. Life is not that serious.

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

chioma134:
Well, I suppose you're a Christian too. You should be conversant with Jesus' words when he told the crowd that came to stone the adulterous woman that "he that is without sin should cast the first stone." I'm no angel, I admit my faults. However, those lustful feelings I talked about are much more common than you think. You cannot prevent a bird from perching, but you can prevent it from building a nest on your head. Even you are not exempted if you are honest enough to admit it, except you're a eunuch.

Also, I have received forgiveness and there is now no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. Therefore, I refuse to allow your "stone" to hit me. And I hope you have removed the log in your own eyes before coming to remove the speck in mine.

All the same, I kept his contact because we still work for the same organisation, and communication lines should be kept open.

Shalom

chioma134:
This post was triggered by an earlier post I saw where the poster was having long talks with his friend's wife. I've been in a similar situation. I changed location and had to be separate from my family due to work. I was lonely and needed a friend. I talk with my husband regularly, but his interests are not my interests, so I find that besides household and family matters, we have little else to talk about. I found myself talking to this guy I met when I went for an official assignment. We started as friends, but we became attracted to each other. So when I travelled back to base, we started these long conversations. We're both born-again Christians and both married, so we kept to certain boundaries. I enjoyed conversing with him more than with my spouse. I became consumed with thoughts of him. He also expressed his desire and attraction towards me, but we laughed over it as jokes.

My husband noticed the conversations when I travelled home and became suspicious. He forbade me from speaking with him. He had never seen me have long talks with any friend, talkless of a male one. I informed my friend and he said no problem, he would wait till I travelled back to work base before he would continue. He later travelled to meet his family and conversation became scanty. I realized how much I was addicted to him when I couldn't talk to him as much as I wanted. He returned to base and we continued like before.

I started praying for God to help me overcome these desires. Maybe he also felt the same, because for some reasons I don't know, he reduced the frequency of calls and chats drastically. I didn't try to find out why, just thought the time-off would help me clear out immoral thoughts. But I got hurt when he acted indifferent on one occasion when I felt he should have shown more care. I asked him about it and he pretended not to understand what I was talking about. I read the writing on the wall, and decided to play along. So I said "bye. It was nice meeting you." Part of me was grateful it ended, another part was wishing I could still be with him. I love my husband and children, I cannot come and scatter my home.

He thought I was joking. I was no longer responding to his chats, and when I did, only with monosyllables. He became hurt and accused me of going silent on him. I told him he started it. He wanted me to become defensive, but the Holy Spirit whispered "keep quiet ". So I allowed him rant without saying anything. I thank God I didn't, because I would have exposed how deep my true feelings for him were.

Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine". My feelings have healed and I thank God we didn't continue because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from an affair if we had eventually had any physical contact. I can categorically say I'm no longer in love with him.

I penned these down for those struggling with similar situations. Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings.

Kobojunkie:
Again..... Reread my response to you....what has an individuals mental maturity to.do with whether he or she runs into weak/innocent or strong individuals or not??

Try to understand what is being asked and maybe then you will see that these ramblings of your make no sense considering what I asserted.

oldienavie:
This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

postmann:
In pure undiluted scriptural standard, you've committed adultery with him already. Just so you know that.

But rather more important is your very last paragraph of advice to other women who might be going through similar temptation as you. Here, let me quote you:

"Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings"

Now, here's the irony buried in the paragraph before last:

"Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine"

While you still keep the door ajar for prospective adultery with this same idiot, (most likely when you and hubby have a fight) you are advising other women going through similar challenge to cut off chats totally. You know the intention of this iniquitous pig and your own abominable longings and vulnerability towards him yet you still entertain his obviously probing "how are you's." You're still an unrepentant adulterer and you need counseling and deliverance before entertaining the idea of climbing that virtual pulpit you just did by preaching this sermon. And may GOD help your husband who's ignorant enough to permit that stupid work of yours that has no respect for matrimony to post you outside his location.

Kobojunkie:
How? He would have raped her?

ronyman:
You are not born again pls don't confuse dedication to church and born again.

Fiscus105:
Her "friendship" with the guy led to that, there are some qualities which you would not see or notice when you are not closer, such qualities would be as if it's not exist if you are not aware of them in a particular man or woman (Yoruba adage, if u dnt hear particular story you may not be bitter).

If she wasn't closer to her colleagues more than necessary, (after all, not only that man in that office), she wouldn't have discovered the quality in him, After discovery of such quality, nature would must definitely make that quality fascinating and render her vulnerable to go beyond her boundary

postmann:
In pure undiluted scriptural standard, you've committed adultery with him already. Just so you know that.

But rather more important is your very last paragraph of advice to other women who might be going through similar temptation as you. Here, let me quote you:

"Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings"

Now, here's the irony buried in the paragraph before last:

"Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine"

While you still keep the door ajar for prospective adultery with this same idiot, (most likely when you and hubby have a fight) you are advising other women going through similar challenge to cut off chats totally. You know the intention of this iniquitous pig and your own abominable longings and vulnerability towards him yet you still entertain his obviously probing "how are you's." You're still an unrepentant adulterer and you need counseling and deliverance before entertaining the idea of climbing that virtual pulpit you just did by preaching this sermon. And may GOD help your husband who's ignorant enough to permit that stupid work of yours that has no respect for matrimony to post you outside his location.

postmann:
You're only here by the sheer abundance of "defend a fellow female like me." Nothing more or less.

AjiBussu:
Don't worry your husband will also find a BORN-AGAIN woman that share similar interests with him. Hope you'd get to understand when you find out. Whats good for the gosse should be good for the gander

oldienavie:
This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

Unshackled:
of everything you could have said, you picked the dumbest one...the one pointing to your chronic analphabetism and lack of social evolution

oldienavie:
This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

oldienavie:
This was exactly the same thing going through my head, the type of people calling themselves Born again these days is shocking.
This is what Christianity has become, it has been very diluted.
Someone that should bury her head in shame and cry out for forgiveness, someone still keeping in contact with the same person she committed emotional adultery with is still proud to seat on the throne of advise.

I bet she is a "women leader" in church teaching young women.
Such a terrible and sad thing to read, that a wife and a mother can become so loose as to make themselves vulnerable to this point highlights how weak this person is spiritually.

As a born again person, your spiritual antenna ought to be able to spot these kind of things from a yard away.

Reminds me of a particular white girl in my church, I knew she loved me and I always avoided her, we were put in a group together and she eventually got my phone number, that was when the stalking began. But having a pre-knowledge of her intentions I already knew how to handle it.

By the way I am single, so I wonder when married people who claim to be christians and have loving families behave like goats on heat without self control.

It is a shame... spits

Fiscus105:
Ur mental capacity to relate with opposite sex and make him ur bestie and not fall for him.

If you meet original player (playboy) that ur mentally capabilities would not save you from him to devour you.

Hope you understand me now?

Acidosis:
So for how long will she continue to run away from your vulnerabilities? Sometimes, one doesn't even have to get close to people to lust after them, yunno?

Why not condition her mind such that certain things wouldn't matter to her?

I still maintain my position that friendship is not the issue.

Unshackled:
it's a question of a fool asking Dane people

postmann:
In pure undiluted scriptural standard, you've committed adultery with him already. Just so you know that.

But rather more important is your very last paragraph of advice to other women who might be going through similar temptation as you. Here, let me quote you:

"Just cut off the relationship. Stop conversation, chatting, or physical contact. Then pray for God to help you overcome those lusty feelings"

Now, here's the irony buried in the paragraph before last:

"Right now, he chats once in a while, just general "how are you". I say "fine"

While you still keep the door ajar for prospective adultery with this same idiot, (most likely when you and hubby have a fight) you are advising other women going through similar challenge to cut off chats totally. You know the intention of this iniquitous pig and your own abominable longings and vulnerability towards him yet you still entertain his obviously probing "how are you's." You're still an unrepentant adulterer and you need counseling and deliverance before entertaining the idea of climbing that virtual pulpit you just did by preaching this sermon. And may GOD help your husband who's ignorant enough to permit that stupid work of yours that has no respect for matrimony to post you outside his location.

Xilsbridalhouse:
If you need to work on your grammar and how to become a better writer, biko keep following this moniker’s posts.