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My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday - Family - Nairaland

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My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 12:17pm On Jun 27
I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.

So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.

He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.

He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).

The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.

According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.

Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.

He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.

He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.

So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?

Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?

I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.

So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?

What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it?

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Bilabong(m): 12:20pm On Jun 27
grin

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Tadeknkeepcalm: 12:26pm On Jun 27
This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.

It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by thesicilian: 12:31pm On Jun 27
If I start to talk, we won't leave here today.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Clinghton: 12:33pm On Jun 27
Social media has made every private discussion public

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by dodelight(m): 12:34pm On Jun 27
Tadeknkeepcalm:
This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.

It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense.
i kinda agree with you. but our society, most especially christianity has demonized polygamy, now women take it for granted.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Funkyswagzz(m): 12:45pm On Jun 27
Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Ningen(m): 12:46pm On Jun 27
Married men cheat 70% of the time because of sex deprivation. So they don't have a choice but to venture outside for satisfaction. sad

This is why the sexual compatibility should not be undermine or taken for granted when dating.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 1:02pm On Jun 27
thesicilian:
If I start to talk, we won't leave here today.

Talk na

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 1:05pm On Jun 27
Funkyswagzz:
Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess.

Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem.
Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Funkyswagzz(m): 1:14pm On Jun 27
4ckz:


Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem.
Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.

There must be a problem somewhere and that is what u have to find out. If shes not cooperative enuf just get a second wife. Trust me she will get tired of her film tricks

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by lefulefu(m): 1:17pm On Jun 27
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by lefulefu(m): 1:20pm On Jun 27
4ckz:



Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.
then that means she is having active sex somewhere..probably with an ex.there"s no smoke without fire.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 1:23pm On Jun 27
lefulefu:
then that means she is having active sex somewhere..probably with an ex.there"s no smoke without fire.

There is sense in this

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by karo93: 2:08pm On Jun 27
Couples both male and female should learn to compromise and find a common ground. My body, My right, My choice... doesnt really help the marriage.....

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by J111333(m): 2:20pm On Jun 27
lefulefu:
99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands
Some women actually find sex boring but after certain experiences, that can be reversed. Some of them are even bisexual without knowing it.
I've met quite a few, the man needs to spice up their bed sessions a bit and with time, na the woman go begin dey pull down his pants sef.

Visiting ashawo joint is an irresponsible thing to do as a man.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by spiralwedge(m): 2:27pm On Jun 27
Tadeknkeepcalm:
This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.

It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense.

True talk.

Religious people ruined it, especially Pentecostalism and Catholicism. Our grandfathers were very pious and yet managed their homes and careers successfully with many wives

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by SweetiliciousD: 2:30pm On Jun 27
4ckz:


Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem.
Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage.

This is true.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by ibkonekt(m): 2:36pm On Jun 27
all women are like that

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Stephenmoka4(m): 3:03pm On Jun 27
I don't think there would be any good in cheating, not sure how that could show good example.
It is degrading and irresponsible.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by phemmyfour: 3:07pm On Jun 27
Tadeknkeepcalm:
This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.

It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense.
polygamy doesn't cure cheating. Men with many wives do cheat as well. There is this pleasure they derive in eating what does not belong to them

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by misreal(m): 3:18pm On Jun 27
Well.ayam not yet married, but i have warned my babe that she must never deny me of it oh

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by fashionale(m): 3:40pm On Jun 27
Sex deprivation was the main reason I ran away from my ex fiancé, she always used it against me whenever we had a little issue that's even not insignificant. My wife doesn't used it against me and I'm happy with my marriage.
Dear ladies, stop using it against your husband's, it can only drive them away than bringing them to you.
My 2cents

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Emmanuelcann: 3:51pm On Jun 27
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Munzy14(m): 3:54pm On Jun 27
Men that think about this cheating matter, are usually the ones that end up cheating....cheesy


Marriage no easy o, u can't stay a month without sex fine, so when she gives birth and need that time to heal, u will be entering her yoni abii? I laugh at u.

Bro, I have said it countless times, cheating is a choice. As far as u are well to do guy, the temptation and opportunity will come. It's left for u to decide.

As for women, bedroom power must come in when she needs that thing u are telling her no money for months. .. cheesy

It's their right u can't sidestep it.

Above all it's understanding.. After all sex must not involve penetration All the time na.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 3:55pm On Jun 27
fashionale:
Sex deprivation was the main reason I ran away from my ex fiancé, she always used it against me whenever we had a little issue that's even not insignificant. My wife doesn't used it against me and I'm happy with my marriage.
Dear ladies, stop using it against your husband's, it can only drive them away than bringing them to you.
My 2cents

She wasn't wifed yet, and she was already acting up?

What if you married her?

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 3:59pm On Jun 27
Emmanuelcann:
Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another?
Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control!

You think it's right that sex is a weapon and bargaining cheap in marriage?

My own is, I will never beg my wife for sex, impossible!
Once she starts it, I would let her be, but what comes after it, I will never feel guilty of.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 4ckz: 4:07pm On Jun 27
Munzy14:

Men that think about this cheating matter, are usually the ones that end up cheating....cheesy


Marriage no easy o, u can't stay a month without sex fine, so when she gives birth and need that time to heal, u will be entering her yoni abii? I laugh at u.

Bro, I have said it countless times, cheating is a choice. As far as u are well to do guy, the temptation and opportunity will come. It's left for u to decide.

As for women, bedroom power must come in when she needs that thing u are telling her no money for months. .. cheesy

It's their right u can't sidestep it.

Above all it's understanding.. After all sex must not involve penetration All the time na.

First of all, I think you misunderstood me. The 1 month I said doesn't include what you said, or when she's sick, those kind of serious conditions.

I mean, 1 month off because she doesn't feel like.


@ the bolded, I find a great fault with what you said.
So having sex with your husband is your right as a wife and the you decide when or on what conditions to do it?

I can't even begin to try and understand that mentality. But, if what you said is what a marriage entails, then maybe it's not worth it getting married at the first place.

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by fashionale(m): 4:11pm On Jun 27
4ckz:


She wasn't wifed yet, and she was already acting up?

What if you married her?

That's what I calculated bro, I jakpa.
It was too early for that. And her own was you wouldn't even touch her skin let alone breast

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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by 0rion: 4:12pm On Jun 27
THERE IS BIG LESSON FOR YOU TO LEARN FROM THAT NAUGHTY DISCUSSION.

MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS TO START DISCUSSING ABOUT SEX WITH YOUR FUTURE WIFE. THIS IS TO KNOW ABOUT HER SEX LIFE. IF SHES A VIRGIN DEFINITELY NOT GONNA HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE.

BUT ALWAYS ASK HER WHAT SHE LIKES TO DO AND TO BE DONE TO HER. DONT LET HER BE SHY. MAKE IT A SERIOUS DISCUSSION IF YOU DONT WANT TO CHEAT ON HER.

WE MEN JUST ALWAYS LIKE TO GO IN AND OUT . WOWEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. EXCEPT ASHAWO

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