SOME ABUSIVE HUSBANDS MAY HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS OR EVIL SPIRIT POSSESSED. WIVES TO TELL THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MARRIAGE. DO NOT DIE IN SILENCE.

I agree

rightdata:
SOME ABUSIVE HUSBANDS MAY HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS OR EVIL SPIRIT POSSESSED. WIVES TO TELL THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MARRIAGE. DO NOT DIE IN SILENCE.

Some mothers may also have mental health problems.
The way some of them beat their kids eh!

You may be right that's why the wife should be possessed atimes

I don't think so. I don't think it's mental health and also don't think its evil spirit. I think people generally have both good and bad sides. Some people exploit their bad sides when they notice the weakness in others. Yes bad foundation can actually have an impact but there's something about toxic people, they draw out particular victims and most of their victims are usually drawn to toxic people.

I knew a guy who used to beat his girlfriend. The worst part was we all saw his previous relationship. He never beat the girl instead he treated her like egg. She left him, when they were going to separate places, mutual breakup. The next girl that came was a good girl, kitchen material, home maker and submissive. Worse part was as a girl, this guy somehow was afraid of me, and would even avoid me. But he would readily strip his girlfriend naked in front of his friends and beat her up. It wasn't mental problem or demons, he found it easy getting transfering aggression on her, made her a punching bag because he knew he could do it and get away with it.


I knew someone else very dear to me, home maker, wifey kind of person. Although she was known to be tough and in a fight, she will beat me silly. She would even defend me if anyone tries to come at me. But you see, this boy would beat her and all of a sudden she would be a teddy bear in the name of love. The relationship lasted for over 7 years.

So when someone tells me it's mental illness or demons, I'll tell the person to suck it. Anyone who beats someone else not their equal derives pleasure in it. They are not sick or mental and they are consciously doing it. Most times they even want to know if their partner has told someone else, because this people always want to maintain image. They will be quick to beg after they have damaged the vulnerable person's bones. They'll be so sweet and nice, and will buy anything they want.

The signs are there and many women ignore it. I generally don't rate any man that is overly romantic. Sweet talkers are high on the list, the best bet is to catch a man angry with others and then with you. If you know how normal people react, you will see it. See provoke boyfriend every time, for no reason at all. Just do stuff that will piss them off regularly. They will get to a point where they will break their facade. A real man will be consistent, he will be angry, he will blow up, he will even scream but will never lay a single hand on you. Please if he punches the mirror, breaks plates, growls like a dog, you got yourself a fighter, run like hell.

I'm not saying this attitude is limited to men, I'm a woman and that's my view. I've also met the female version of this toxicity and it's much worse than the male version. If a woman exhibits the battering character, she can even go lengths to kill the man. The telltale sign, and also for men is an overly possessive person. Like I said sweet talkers, romantics blah blah. But they must not catch you talking to someone else. They'll monitor your calls, read your messages. Try to get close to your friends so they can get information about your whereabouts anytime they are trying to call you. This people like this 24 hour relationship, so most times ,they will still cut your friends off because you can hardly be alone. Some girls or guys will think it's love. It's not, in fact that a fiery red sign that your in deep shit. So get out. I knew a woman who saw a man talking to a girl and went over to pour hot soup on his head. God saved him, the soup wasn't as hot as intended.

Like I said, some people are drawn to toxic people. Now why do I say this, many people don't enter realistic relationships. They are dreamers and are looking for fairy tale. So they fall in love with an idea of a person. So even if they see danger written all over, they will still stay. When they get married to this person, they feel trapped. Why? The first thing someone who beats the shit out of you does, is to lower your self esteem. They make their victims think that it's an opportunity for them to be with them. They paint an idea that they can't get better love outside. Many times and all of the times, they will breakdown and play the victim with their partners, putting the blame on them. Sweet talkers will convince you to believe that it's all your fault to begin with. They will blame their childhood, they will say their working on their anger issues, they will blame anything and then this vulnerable person, will have pity on them. Hoping that they are the only ones that can change them or make them a better person. You see there's no way you can make a victim of abuse see reason to leave. They have lost all sense of reason. Infact they are the real ones with the mental illness because reasonable people will wonder what the hell.

Another uncomfortable truth is abusive people are good in bed. Infact they boast of their sexual prowess. I'm not sure if this is the reason the partner stays, I haven't investigated up to that point. But it's certainly one of the reasons because after a good battering, they tend to use sex to keep the person locked under them. Some of the people I've talked to encountering abuse, usually smile when you talk about sex. It's not like all guys or girls that have an exceptional sexual performance are abusers, but it's part of their traits.

Another thing about this people is that they are the least you expect to display such fowl behaviour. They know how to camouflage, their behaviour. People who are discerning like me, can smell them from a mile away. Maybe because I'm generally critical of people or because I grew up in a home of abuse (parents). So it's really easy spotting them, I've met a couple and don't even give them a chance.
There's other signs, but trust me it's not mental. It's just the raw side of humans. Everyone has the tendency to abuse people especially vulnerable people. However, many people don't act on their feelings. There are some people that will annoy you that you'd want to press their face against the wall, but you don't do it. Some people don't put this restraint and they let the animal out.

P.S If you trace the history of an abusive person's relationship, you will see that it is not all women or men they hit. I guess some people are just terrible for each other, and will likely bring the worst in themselves.

Then we have the Christian women who follow the bible to the letter. You see when I see them, sorry but I call them foolish. Many Christians believe that marriage is meant to be for eternity and that God detests divorce. They will pray and fast hoping to change their partners. This is especially common with women. Let me tell you something if you're in this boat.

God will not consider you a victim of oppression, no he won't even blame the other person. You see, no matter how hard they hide their problems at home, Holy Spirit will expose the truth to someone around them, even if their husband is a pastor. But this people will not listen to anyone. They'll hold on to the fact that nothing is impossible for God. I know someone who kept praying that their husband will quit smoking, become responsible and stop abusing them. They prayed for years, but you see it didn't happen. Why? It's not that God doesn't answer prayers, but what that person was praying for, was for God to change their partner. You should realise that everyone has a free will, which mranyou they either make a choice to be good or bad. God doesn't make these decisions for men, he won't change anyone's character to suit another person. It's a decision that person has to make themself. God also does not hate divorce as many people preach. What he doesn't like is infidelity, when people cheat the other partner and break their vow. If the marriage is not good for your mental, physical or emotional health, He will encourage you to leave it. So please if you've been spending time praying for a changed partner, you should change your prayer point.

You should be praying that God protects you and your kids, and remove your enemy, who wants to steal, kill and destroy your soul. You should be praying to God to help you as you get out of that bad relationship. God does not nurture or sustain a bad thing. If something is bearing bad fruits, you should cut it off. That's what Jesus did with that barren tree. He cut it off. You shouldn't keep a damaging relationship, or marriage. It never ends well. .


I'm not a marriage counselor yet, maybe I'll take it up in the nearest future. However, I've studied people so well that I can easily read them as a book. So if you can connect with anything I've mentioned. Even if you've been in the relationship for 12 years, or married with 9 kids, it's never too late to get out. God loves you and everyone deserves to be loved. A person who loves you will never hurt you. Love does not cause pain, it is kind and patient. Have a wonderful week and may God help you get out of a terrible relationship. You should start praying and getting out at the same time.


If you have an abusive partner that, is around you get the police. Call your family, let them help you hire a lawyer. You can even meet lawyers in your church. Don't listen to anyone who wants to talk sense to them. The cycle will continue to repeat itself.

rightdata:
SOME ABUSIVE HUSBANDS MAY HAVE MENTAL PROBLEMS OR EVIL SPIRIT POSSESSED. WIVES TO TELL THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE MARRIAGE. DO NOT DIE IN SILENCE.

peggywebbs:
I don't think so. I don't think it's mental health and also don't think its evil spirit. I think people generally have both good and bad sides. Some people exploit their bad sides when they notice the weakness in others. Yes bad foundation can actually have an impact but there's something about toxic people, they draw out particular victims and most of their victims are usually drawn to toxic people.

I knew a guy who used to beat his girlfriend. The worst part was we all saw his previous relationship. He never beat the girl instead he treated her like egg. She left him, when they were going to separate places, mutual breakup. The next girl that came was a good girl, kitchen material, home maker and submissive. Worse part was as a girl, this guy somehow was afraid of me, and would even avoid me. But he would readily strip his girlfriend naked in front of his friends and beat her up. It wasn't mental problem or demons, he found it easy getting transfering aggression on her, made her a punching bag because he knew he could do it and get away with it.


I knew someone else very dear to me, home maker, wifey kind of person. Although she was known to be tough and in a fight, she will beat me silly. She would even defend me if anyone tries to come at me. But you see, this boy would beat her and all of a sudden she would be a teddy bear in the name of love. The relationship lasted for over 7 years.

So when someone tells me it's mental illness or demons, I'll tell the person to suck it. Anyone who beats someone else not their equal derives pleasure in it. They are not sick or mental and they are consciously doing it. Most times they even want to know if their partner has told someone else, because this people always want to maintain image. They will be quick to beg after they have damaged the vulnerable person's bones. They'll be so sweet and nice, and will buy anything they want.

The signs are there and many women ignore it. I generally don't rate any man that is overly romantic. Sweet talkers are high on the list, the best bet is to catch a man angry with others and then with you. If you know how normal people react, you will see it. See provoke boyfriend every time, for no reason at all. Just do stuff that will piss them off regularly. They will get to a point where they will break their facade. A real man will be consistent, he will be angry, he will blow up, he will even scream but will never lay a single hand on you. Please if he punches the mirror, breaks plates, growls like a dog, you got yourself a fighter, run like hell.

I'm not saying this attitude is limited to men, I'm a woman and that's my view. I've also met the female version of this toxicity and it's much worse than the male version. If a woman exhibits the battering character, she can even go lengths to kill the man. The telltale sign, and also for men is an overly possessive person. Like I said sweet talkers, romantics blah blah. But they must not catch you talking to someone else. They'll monitor your calls, read your messages. Try to get close to your friends so they can get information about your whereabouts anytime they are trying to call you. This people like this 24 hour relationship, so most times ,they will still cut your friends off because you can hardly be alone. Some girls or guys will think it's love. It's not, in fact that a fiery red sign that your in deep shit. So get out. I knew a woman who saw a man talking to a girl and went over to pour hot soup on his head. God saved him, the soup wasn't as hot as intended.

Like I said, some people are drawn to toxic people. Now why do I say this, many people don't enter realistic relationships. They are dreamers and are looking for fairy tale. So they fall in love with an idea of a person. So even if they see danger written all over, they will still stay. When they get married to this person, they feel trapped. Why? The first thing someone who beats the shit out of you does, is to lower your self esteem. They make their victims think that it's an opportunity for them to be with them. They paint an idea that they can't get better love outside. Many times and all of the times, they will breakdown and play the victim with their partners, putting the blame on them. Sweet talkers will convince you to believe that it's all your fault to begin with. They will blame their childhood, they will say their working on their anger issues, they will blame anything and then this vulnerable person, will have pity on them. Hoping that they are the only ones that can change them or make them a better person. You see there's no way you can make a victim of abuse see reason to leave. They have lost all sense of reason. Infact they are the real ones with the mental illness because reasonable people will wonder what the hell.

Another uncomfortable truth is abusive people are good in bed. Infact they boast of their sexual prowess. I'm not sure if this is the reason the partner stays, I haven't investigated up to that point. But it's certainly one of the reasons because after a good battering, they tend to use sex to keep the person locked under them. Some of the people I've talked to encountering abuse, usually smile when you talk about sex. It's not like all guys or girls that have an exceptional sexual performance are abusers, but it's part of their traits.

Another thing about this people is that they are the least you expect to display such fowl behaviour. They know how to camouflage, their behaviour. People who are discerning like me, can smell them from a mile away. Maybe because I'm generally critical of people or because I grew up in a home of abuse (parents). So it's really easy spotting them, I've met a couple and don't even give them a chance.
There's other signs, but trust me it's not mental. It's just the raw side of humans. Everyone has the tendency to abuse people especially vulnerable people. However, many people don't act on their feelings. There are some people that will annoy you that you'd want to press their face against the wall, but you don't do it. Some people don't put this restraint and they let the animal out.

P.S If you trace the history of an abusive person's relationship, you will see that it is not all women or men they hit. I guess some people are just terrible for each other, and will likely bring the worst in themselves.

Then we have the Christian women who follow the bible to the letter. You see when I see them, sorry but I call them foolish. Many Christians believe that marriage is meant to be for eternity and that God detests divorce. They will pray and fast hoping to change their partners. This is especially common with women. Let me tell you something if you're in this boat.

God will not consider you a victim of oppression, no he won't even blame the other person. You see, no matter how hard they hide their problems at home, Holy Spirit will expose the truth to someone around them, even if their husband is a pastor. But this people will not listen to anyone. They'll hold on to the fact that nothing is impossible for God. I know someone who kept praying that their husband will quit smoking, become responsible and stop abusing them. They prayed for years, but you see it didn't happen. Why? It's not that God doesn't answer prayers, but what that person was praying for, was for God to change their partner. You should realise that everyone has a free will, which mranyou they either make a choice to be good or bad. God doesn't make these decisions for men, he won't change anyone's character to suit another person. It's a decision that person has to make themself. God also does not hate divorce as many people preach. What he doesn't like is infidelity, when people cheat the other partner and break their vow. If the marriage is not good for your mental, physical or emotional health, He will encourage you to leave it. So please if you've been spending time praying for a changed partner, you should change your prayer point.

You should be praying that God protects you and your kids, and remove your enemy, who wants to steal, kill and destroy your soul. You should be praying to God to help you as you get out of that bad relationship. God does not nurture or sustain a bad thing. If something is bearing bad fruits, you should cut it off. That's what Jesus did with that barren tree. He cut it off. You shouldn't keep a damaging relationship, or marriage. It never ends well. .


I'm not a marriage counselor yet, maybe I'll take it up in the nearest future. However, I've studied people so well that I can easily read them as a book. So if you can connect with anything I've mentioned. Even if you've been in the relationship for 12 years, or married with 9 kids, it's never too late to get out. God loves you and everyone deserves to be loved. A person who loves you will never hurt you. Love does not cause pain, it is kind and patient. Have a wonderful week and may God help you get out of a terrible relationship. You should start praying and getting out at the same time.


If you have an abusive partner that, is around you get the police. Call your family, let them help you hire a lawyer. You can even meet lawyers in your church. Don't listen to anyone who wants to talk sense to them. The cycle will continue to repeat itself.

Well done. You took time to write this long epistle. Your grammar is good too.