₦airaland Forum

I am tired of my marriage and really at the verge of ending it because of the following.

I am married with 2 children, my first child is already in school and my wife is yet to secure a job. Every morning I wash clothes of everyone in the house including that of my wife, i also wash plates, I sweep, mob and arrange the house, I go out to my neighbour's house to fetch water everyday. But my problem is that when i come back from work totally exhausted, i can't even sleep and rest for 30minutes you will see my wife telling me to help her hold the little baby(9months old). If I tell her I want to rest, the next thing you will hear her saying is that she is tired, will she kill herself? This is someone whose job in the house is just to cook and look after the baby. We all know that about 90% of Nigerian families the wife does all the house chores without complaining and still look after the children, yet you never hear any complain, you rather see them happy always. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't womanize. The only thing I don't joke with is watching football, but yet anytime I want to go out to watch a football match you will see her frowning and angry. Sincerely at this point I am fed up with the marriage. Sometimes I keep wondering what is the essence of me getting married. I'm better of when I was single. Stress is really killing me deep down. I foot all the bills in the house, I buy gifts very often. Please I need your kind advice on what to do.

A Nigerian girlfriend will sweep, clean, mop, wash your clothes and curtains, cook and serve food (sometimes with her money), keep the environment clean, breastfeed you, engage you with marathon sex, without complaining.

Same girl will get married and start complaining that work is too much for her. Something she did free for her boyfriend o

Married women always look for excuse to justify their laziness and foolishness. It is your duty as a wise man not to condone such laxity from them!

You married as a simp. How could you let her control your emotions? You see now, women don't give a fvck about us. They're all concerned about the benefits.
Now your peace of mind is cracking. If you have cardiac arrest and die now she'll move on with another prey.

So many married man are going through a lot. Sh*t is just funny lol.

Nawa ooo, too many funny sh*t going on in the world

Don't rush into marriage ; you rush into it, you rush back yourself. Marriage is a course itself.
Didn't you date her before getting married to her ? During your courtship, you should have curbed her behaviours that are intolerable. Goodluk man

mlpnko:


Don't rush into marriage ; you rush into it, you rush back yourself. Marriage is a course itself.
Didn't you date her before getting married to her ? During your courtship, you should have curbed her behaviours that are intolerable. Goodluk man

Nigerian girls can pretend during courtship that it will only take a wise guy with street OT to decode their deceitful nature.

It only takes the grace of God to fully understand that gender. Gender that was never in God's plan during creation, what do you expect?

mlpnko:


Don't rush into marriage ; you rush into it, you rush back yourself. Marriage is a course itself.
Didn't you date her before getting married to her ? During your courtship, you should have curbed her behaviours that are intolerable. Goodluk man

Women are good at pretence. They act all nice and maneuver you during courtship.

Once you put a ring on it,they change like weather. Don't fucck with that gender bruh!

No advice today as we're tired of all these marriage wahala up and down.

Just quit the marriage. You self don try.

Manage it like that! Anyother person having issues in marriage, Am outta here .

Br as you make your bed so as you will lie on it ok!!! U messed up in the first place for allowing a woman to be controlling you no matter what, but Dm me let me guide u on how to stop those shits but don't leave your wife for now until

Funny

Damnnnn!!!! Local Man is confused..

Start using your authority as a man in d home. Stop doing everything at home, map out her portion of d chores and do what you can. So which means if you travel, the whole house will be in mess. Stop indulging her laziness! There are many women who don't have husbands or their men don't live with them , yet they take care of the home and children. Don't kill yourself.

@Rtk5

I'm not in the best position to state the facts, but this i have to say....


One thing I know that works well is talking things out, you and your wife need to sit down and have a good talk on how her actions is disturbing your peace as a man and let her state where she feels you're not doing okay, whenever people act in a certain way, a mindset (mostly a habit they've formed) makes them behave that way, until it's corrected nothing really changes even if the person means well.

Secondly, I'll suggest you bring in a third party that you and your wife really respects to talk to her. This person must not be a family member else they take sides, and also this person must be a person character and have a working marriage to be able to interject into your matter objectively.

It is well, I believe marriage is a beautiful thing and should be enjoyed. And I hope you're priest over your home?

Rtk5:
I am tired of my marriage and really at the verge of ending it because of the following.

I am married with 2 children, my first child is already in school and my wife is yet to secure a job. Every morning I wash clothes of everyone in the house including that of my wife, i also wash plates, I sweep, mob and arrange the house, I go out to my neighbour's house to fetch water everyday. But my problem is that when i come back from work totally exhausted, i can't even sleep and rest for 30minutes you will see my wife telling me to help her hold the little baby(9months old). If I tell her I want to rest, the next thing you will hear her saying is that she is tired, will she kill herself? This is someone whose job in the house is just to cook and look after the baby. We all know that about 90% of Nigerian families the wife does all the house chores without complaining and still look after the children, yet you never hear any complain, you rather see them happy always. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't womanize. The only thing I don't joke with is watching football, but yet anytime I want to go out to watch a football match you will see her frowning and angry. Sincerely at this point I am fed up with the marriage. Sometimes I keep wondering what is the essence of me getting married. I'm better of when I was single. Stress is really killing me deep down. I foot all the bills in the house, I buy gifts very often. Please I need your kind advice on what to do.

wait, You foot all bills, you have a house wife and u still do chores? Na wetin you want sha. Unless a woman is working, that’s the only time you guys will share chores

Can't you see she's a nursing mother?

Zonefree:
A Nigerian girlfriend will sweep, clean, mop, wash your clothes and curtains, cook and serve food (sometimes with her money), keep the environment clean, breastfeed you, engage you with marathon sex, without complaining.

Same girl will get married and start complaining that work is too much for her. Something she did free for her boyfriend o

Married women always look for excuse to justify their laziness and foolishness. It is your duty as a wise man not to condone such laxity from them!

[s]

Gee64:
Can't you see she's a nursing mother?

[/s]
Nonsense!

The child is 9 months. My neighbours wife gave birth last month, the woman is doing everything at home except to ON the Gen. Stop indulging foolishness!

Mr man, keep quiet. Can't you see she's a nursing mother? Do you know what women go through nursing children? You've done just a minimal of a woman's domestic chores and you are buzzing about it wanting people to clap for you.
You see, I'm a man like you. I did more when my wife was still alive and the children were then young. Take heart man, you are still working for yourself and for the interest of the family. Your children would learn from you.
Your wife is not a slave in the house but a 'helper'!

PerfectStranger:
You married as a simp. How could you let her control your emotions? You see now, women don't give a fvck about us. They're all concerned about the benefits.
Now your peace of mind is cracking. If you have cardiac arrest and die now she'll move on with another prey.

So many married man are going through a lot. Sh*t is just funny lol.

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

They are nothing but useless. All of them...

You need to speak with your wife and develop a schedule on how you will equitably share the responsibilities. Another person suggested bringing in a third party the wife respects and I disagree. Don't bring another person into your marriage unless they are a third party neutral, such as a marriage counselor or therapist, not a family member.

OP, in your post you are trivializing what your wife does. Raising children, cooking, and cleaning are not easy tasks because they never stop. Yes, you go to work but there's a closing time and there's the weekend. You have downtime. In addition, you're comparing your wife to other women. Please stop. Every marriage is different and you're only seeing them from the outside. You have no idea what goes on in those marriages. The fact that you see child-rearing, cooking, and cleaning as no big deal or not as important as what you do is a problem.

And you mention that you do things in the morning for the kids before going to work. And? OP, you are a parent and spouse now. Those things are expected of you. You don't get bonus points or accolades for doing what is expected of you. Talk to your wife.

Marriage wahala everyday
In summary, you are now the wife while she is the husband.
There is nothing wrong in helping her in house chores but she is getting used to it. You can only help yourself, set standards