₦airaland Forum

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Oga, marriage is not by force. The woman said she no do again, end of story. Leave her alone. A word is enough for the wise.

Tobijays:
Bro take your kid for her family to support you and ask you to come with soldiers, it says a lot sir either she dy maltreat the baby or abusing the baby. Save the child now later when she is better she can access

Na true you talk o the child needs safeguarding as soon as possible 'cos a Nigerian girl (22 yr old) 2 years ago drowned her own 21 month old child in a big container of water in the bath room because she saw the child as having wrecked her chances of living a youthful life and all that that entails. She did not want the pregnancy and she ended up killing the child with her own hands and this is not post partum issue as the child was already 21 months old.
https://www.nairaland.com/5855370/woman-drowns-daughter-bucket-water

Dear OP, why not attach a maid to your in law to ease the stress. The maid will be under the supervision of your MIL and wife. Your wife may be going PPD.

[As for your wife, in case you are wondering what becomes of her and how she will cope or whether she might still come back to beg or resume back her place as a wife.......Try to imagine a very beautiful and attractive bird caught and kept in a cage for 2 years and then one day returned back to the wild where it was captured and released from the cage. She will be perfectly and wonderfully fine.

Defintely true!

If at 32, she just dey birth her first child, I guess she was forced to marry you, she had to do the biddings of her parent coz of the pressure, I'm so sorry to say this, she no love u from onset..

She fit love someone else make the pesin neva ready to settle down, na inside life, e dey apun..

Just have a one on one convo with her and ask her why she chooses to inflict u with diz kind of frustration, let her know that the picture is clear that she doesn't loves u but what baffles u is the reason she brought it to ur door steps and not other guys.

blaquebelle:
How does being raised by a single parent affect the child later?

A child raise by a single parent will not have a balance behavior. It is been refer 2 as safety net.

Wen u see person wen too like woman.. Many think it's his/her natural trait.. When u see a woman with all the money is addicted to sex u feel its her trait.. Wen u see a mature guy that cannot contront a girl u think its his trait.. Wen u see a big classic lady been deceived by a guy severally u think its trait or the guy is using juju.

Now on very few occasions such do happen..

But wen a child is raise by a single parent. Those attributes re what such child inherit.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Oga, pregnancy and child birth in a woman bring a cocktail of emotion mordifying homornes. Different women handle it differently. But for those like your wife whom it affects massively, what she needs is family and professional support. The fact she is having problems taking care of the child and this is her first child should have told you this. She needs a lot of time, love and support to return to her normal self.

First tell her family members to back off pressuring her,
If you can afford to, arrange for a nanny, that might help her agree to come back home.

Let her know you understand and are willing to give her time.

Also seek professional consultation if you can afford it, but I do not think its good to take pills fir this.

Also understand that your wife is going through emotions of being averred to her child, which in turn makes her feel guilty and confused. As she cannot explain this to herself, she is even more afraid to explain it to you. Hence, she is resorting to the easiest thing she can do, which is to walk away from you. If you try to take the child she will freely let you, but mind you once she is over it, she will fight you tooth and nail for that child. By then you have messed up your relationship by taking the child.

Just let her know she is having a medical condition and you are there to support her till she feels better.

gaby:
Your wife needs serious medical attention.

This could be postpartum stress disorder or some more serious mental condition.

Some animals do go through this stress too when they give birth and fail to exhibit that natural maternal instinct to begin to care for their babies.

Instead of trying to force her back to you and pretend all is well in your marriage or to avoid "what will people say or think", I'd advise you to seek her professional help and darn what people would say or think.

You'd be playing with fire living under the same roof with a woman yet to be diagnosed of what she has mentally, and you just might end up as collateral damage in the process when she decides to butcher you and the pikin take play but God forbid.

She's dealing with underlying mental issues.

I don't no what expensive note you want as a man

Woman problem tooo much....
I da fear to marry any nigerian dot girl

Another crafty man has opened a thread.

He has joined the list of men with dirty tales about their wives, and their own (OPs) saintly record, and thus cannot use his main account. Another strungup79.

We need to hear from his wife, whether depressed or not.

How he expects us to believe that she simply doesn't want to be married to him for no reason remains a reason he should not be believed. He has dropped his wife on a forum notorious for stupid comments about women and is quiet on the real issue.

What is this disease/medical that she has, which prevents breastfeeding? When did she get it? How? Perhaps throwing more light on this will help readers give proper advice.

They have issues and the pregnancy was one of them, but it is not the only issue. However, he will not like to say the truth, and say it quickly.

GerogeI:
Oga, pregnancy and child birth in a woman bring a cocktail of emotion mortifying homornes. Different women handle it differently. But for those like your wide whom it affects massively, what she needs is family and professional support. The fact she is having problems taking care of the child should have told you this. She needs a lot of time, love and support to return to her normal self.

De girl no love am stop all this long story it won't help that alll

All do u want to kill ursf before you understand.....

I have just make my point here

I have not read other comments on this thread but I will advise the following course of actions

1. Tell your own parents what is happenings. Let them counsel you on the way forward.

2. I will advise you take the baby from you in laws and give to your parent. Trust me, there is a reason why God made women mothers. You cannot handle a five month old by yourself, even with a nanny.

3. I think your wife will need psychiatric examination. You might need to get her to see a doctor. It is possible she is abusing drugs or something bc her course of action is not naturally.

All the best.

Traplord09:
De girl no love am stop all this long story it won't help that alll

All do u want to kill ursf before you understand.....

I have just make my point here

Please keep quiet if you do not know what you are talking about. If you have not seen a woman that runs from her child after giving birth then you should not be advising people and ruining their lives with your ignorance.

Kaxmytex:
If at 32, she just dey birth her first child, I guess she was forced to marry you, she had to do the biddings of her parent coz of the pressure, I'm so sorry to say this, she no love u from onset..

She fit love someone else make the pesin neva ready to settle down, na inside life, e dey apun..

Just have a one on one convo with her and ask her why she chooses to inflict u with diz kind of frustration, let her know that the picture is clear that she doesn't loves u but what baffles u is the reason she brought it to ur door steps and not other guys.

Dat girl have someone that she love ...
Da all she can't tell
Or she feel bad having a child for you .

Da love wasn't there's.

Move on stop all this noise...
What her name....
was forced to marry you, if he not saying de truth at all..
Or he just pregnant am just to marry her tell me na

GerogeI:
Please keep quiet if you do not know what you are talking about. If you have not seen a woman that runs from her child after giving birth then you should not be advising people and ruining their lives with your ignorance.

Let me tell you do I want to push her to place there she we regret it

No tomorrow she we run away and leave de child behind....

Did he forced her to marry you, .
Or did he pregnant her just to marry her

Don't say what u don't no.....

Person say she doesn't want and you are pushing it ..

2 this we Tak place if that is done..
Dat man go regret that marriage ..
Oga move on

With you child you can't push a car that can't work

LilMissFavvy:
Your wife will return to you, but you have to be patient and give her more time. Keep calling, texting, she will come back to her senses. Not advisable you get the baby from her.

Na this advice dey always burst my brain...

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Problem just dey everywhere
Make u just pray make God open Ur eyes both in the spirit and in the physical. Make God expose those things you re ignorant to.

There is more u might not know about your woman. Fire dey mountain o!

LordReed:
Oga, marriage is not by force. The woman said she no do again, end of story. Leave her alone. A word is enough for the wise.

Move on forget about de child or you go and tak care of de child

His her married to her or just pregnant am just to hold her down to marry you

Your wife is most likely suffering from postpartum depression. She urgently needs to be assessed by a medical doctor, probably a psychiatrist. The pressure being put on her will only make things worse.

Traplord09:
Let me tell you do I want to push her to place there she we regret it

No tomorrow she we run away and leave de child behind....

Did he forced her to marry you, .
Or did he pregnant her just to marry her

Don't say what u don't no.....

Person say she doesn't want and you are pushing it ..

2 this we Tak place if that is done..
Dat man go regret that marriage ..
Oga move on

With you child you can't push a car that can't work

Which part of hormones and medical condition did you not hear, or are you just daft?

Problem no dey finish.

Go do DNA.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

My brother, congratulations for been a new father. It comes with such challenges sometimes. Never give up on her. I believe she has what sounds like post partum blues (depression).
Your wife must see a doctor ASAP .
The baby should remain with the her family until your wife recovers.
Someone must put an eye on her 24/7. This disease can make her kill the baby.
Don't be offended. Rise up and be a father and a husband. God has blessed you with Good in laws.
God bless

She is being manipulated spiritually so seek for a spiritual guidance and tackle it asap

Nutase:
It's one of 3 things.

1.The baby is not yours and guilt is eating her up.
2. She is in love with a 3rd party.
3. Postpartum depression alias spiritual problems.

Use your tongue to count your teeth.

Heavy ooooooo......

Mccullum:
Stop this rubbish of postpartum disorder,

If it's postpartum problem, she'll lost her senses immediately after given birth to that baby,

she'll be eccentric to every one around her, not to you specifically, she's suffering from indecision problem,

she is in a state of confusion on concluding her life with you, her mind may not be with you,

I suggest, you may leave her for a while, may be she can retrace her self back to you,

the baby still small to be collected from her mother, leave the child with her and your mother in-law,

distance your self from her, don't call her, just be sending money for the wellbeing of the baby,

try to get one or two persons that will be honest to assist you monitor her, this will enhance you to gather information on her next mission,

that will picture her real reasons for changing toward you, it'll also enhance your final decision on her.

This one is Doctor Stupid@!

My dear brother, you worry too much.
Plz kindly exercise some patience the truth will reveal itself.
Continue your day to day activities ,try and move on the real reason behind her action will revisit you without demanding for it

She probably found out that you don't have as much money as she thought

Elliot2:
So, Nigerians don finally don bring this oyibo post partum nonsense to their country. You guys love copying all the ills from the west. No time wey una dey copy better thing from the west. From gay to feminism to now post partum. Make una dey use English dey cover rubbish behaviour. Wait till Nigeria girls weaponise this thing, una eyes go clear.

Your kind is that time that would have obvious bipolar disorder but still convince yourself there is nothing like mental health. Copying or not, mental health issues have been existing before this generation. The only thing is that we don't have a structured accessible health care system to deal with all these because the treatment is not even a big deal. Whether you believe in something or not doesn't change whether it exists so it's best to investigate any situation and rule out such issues before hand.

Did ALL this start after delivery?

If yes, then it's PPD.

Traplord09:
Move on forget about de child or you go and tak care of de child

His her married to her or just pregnant am just to hold her down to marry you

Na dis kine one we go hear say tomorrow "woman stabs husband during argument". Let us avoid stories that touch abeg.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

PPD - Post Partum Depression.

Get some medical help for her and as much as possible, do not let the baby near her until she is much better. It is a phase.