₦airaland Forum

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Kaxmytex:
If at 32, she just dey birth her first child, I guess she was forced to marry you, she had to do the biddings of her parent coz of the pressure, I'm so sorry to say this, she no love u from onset..

She fit love someone else make the pesin neva ready to settle down, na inside life, e dey apun..

Just have a one on one convo with her and ask her why she chooses to inflict u with diz kind of frustration, let her know that the picture is clear that she doesn't loves u but what baffles u is the reason she brought it to ur door steps and not other guys.

satandeterrible:
Brother, let me tell you.
Forget what everyone else might be saying here.
Your wife's case is not a case or post partum depression or whatever jargon they want to give you.
Its all lies. Stupid lies intended to manipulate you into believing that she is not conscious of the actions she has been taking.

No reasonable woman will fail to take care of her baby, depression or not. No reasonable woman will just wake up and tell you the marriage is over, depression or not.
Believe otherwise at your one peril.
I strongly put it to you that your wife is fully aware of her actions and she is fully thinking out every of her steps.

That being said, you dey eff up. You dey eff up big time. Why will you care about what other people say? That's a very unattractive, low quality from a man. Honestly, how can you give a damn about what people say about your life. Your own life?

My man, as it stands now, divorce is the best option. Divorce that lady now and start looking for a sensible girl to marry, if you're so inclined.

Even if you do not divorce her immediately, take your child away from her.
It is wickedness on your part to allow your own toddler not to receive enough attention and care at this crucial stage.
You have been wicked to that baby and you must now ammend your steps. How do you feel when you know fully well that your wife is not taking care of your infant? How do you sleep at night?
No matter the care from your in-laws, parental affection cannot be matched.
You do not expect that they'll take care of the baby the way you should have done.

I cannot even imagine that my own offspring is not beign taken care of properly by my wife, yet I abandon him/her to my in-laws to take care of. That is so low of you. So, so low. I am disgusted! How can your child be suffering neglect why you, the father, are alive? Please don't give me the bullcrap of in-laws. Unless you want to say your in laws are better human than you are.

Now is time to get over your neglect and wickedness towards your own offspring.
Take back your child now. If necessary, employ a nanny who will help you take care of the child.
But you have to make extra sacrifices. Do not abandon the child to the nanny. Take extra steps to be overly present and involved in the taking care of your own child.

This is exactly what you have to do. If you decide to take any other directly contrasting opinion from this forum, I assure you that it will most certainly not end well.

blaquebelle:
Being that she just gave birth, it could be postpartum depression. Have you really sat down to discuss what her problem is? She must have given you reasons at least, even what you call none tangible, you can start from there. Try and convince her to attend marriage counselling or talk to her respected religious leader if she has one. If she doesn't agree to all these, there's really no point in forcing her to stay with you. Even the attitudes she would give you might make you regret forcing her back. As for the baby, choose based on the best environment for the child. Would you really have the time to be attentive to that delicate child, is the child still being breast fed. There are many things to consider in childcare. It's not as easy as it seems, even with the presence of a nanny.

blaquebelle:
You kind is that time that would have obvious bipolar disorder but still convince yourself there is nothing like mental health. Copying or not, mental health issues have been existing before this generation. The only thing is that we don't have a structured accessible health system to deal with all these because the treatment is not even a big deal. Whether you believe in something or not doesn't change whether it exists so it's best to investigate any situation and rule out such issues before hand.

Kpac:
Pushed out of my retirement just for your sake.
I have read your post, read between the lines and my submissions to you are not complicated.

You seem to be a passionate man, seem to be a cultural one too, a man who cherished the proper African family cultural values and glad you are. But without mincing word, its obvious and clear you have chosen a wife who is definitely lacking in these vitals. As sad as that is, as hard as you want this to work, as much as you don't want people to talk about your marriage failing.......i am sorry to let you know that is the most realistic new situation for you now.

Men are complicated, very complicated in most cases. A man is the only creature God created that will want a car that will not attract Armed robbers, a car that will not over speed, a car with high fuel economy and a car that will not cause envy in the neighborhood BUT at the same time will die to be able to buy a V12 Turbo, 800hp Sport Car with Lambo Doors. You want a very correct "African wife" who knows the value of breast feeding a baby, knows how to take absolute care of the entire home, able to train a child the proper way, be able to cook proper African dishes....However the same you will empty your savings running after a lady who pierced her nipples, had Ayamataga's nail fixed, with 6 nose rings and a 500k tik tok followers account. You go into the bathroom of these kind of ladies and the wide display of chemicals + formulas + liquid concussions + carrot + watermelon + guava + egg + everything else flavor soaps you see displayed will totally confuse you if our mother's didn't turn out as much beautiful with a just a Lux soap doing the same job.

From the days of Adam till now, a square peg will NEVER fit a round hole. We always get distracted as guys and constantly do this mistakes generation after generation.

The lady you have chosen, is beyond all doubts, not the kind for you. She is tired, exhausted and knows within herself she is not and might never be able to get to live that life that you expect. As a lady, as usual of most ladies, they are very honest with themselves. The men, the us, are usually the confused ones who are always deceiving ourselves. She cannot cope and she intends to keep everyone safe by refusing to come back to fit the round hole you have reserved for her square peg. You could go ahead and force her, bundle her back like your desperate in-laws have suggested, but it will end in either of 2 ways, she will still leave your house very violently or your baby's life may be sacrificed for your recklessness.

I am sorry but word truth doesn't have a short or long form, a full meaning or summary, an abbreviation or extension. The truth has always been the truth and in your case, you have chosen the wrong lady for a wife and she is not the one for you. Sadly.

Face the circumstance, let her be, leave her alone and take your 5 month old, innocent baby to your parent's home for proper upkeep for now. Get a very decent maid, if you can and if your parents permits, and let the maid leave with your parents to support them in the whole process of fending for that baby.

Allow the natural time for your heart to heal, face your work squarely, care for your baby the best you can and let the next 6 to 12 months decide what your next and best line of action will be.

As for your wife, in case you are wondering what becomes of her and how she will cope or whether she might still come back to beg or resume back her place as a wife.......Try to imagine a very beautiful and attractive bird caught and kept in a cage for 2 years and then one day returned back to the wild where it was captured and released from the cage. She will be perfectly and wonderfully fine.

Don't force things to go your way because of what people, neighbors and friends will say. You seem to be seriously concerned about this and that is rather unfortunate.

Cheers.

blazepascal:
Our parents marriage was not like this whats happening this days

GerogeI:
Which part of hormones and medical condition did you not hear, or are you just daft?

SultanOfPuna:
These SIMPS dive into marriage without knowledge of female psychology.

She is testing this fool to see if he is truly a man.
And he failed the test woefully

For the man to beg her to come back, has made the girl lose interest and respect for the guy.
Op wife is a strong manipulator. She is enjoying the fact that her man is willing to climb mountains to bring her back.
But she has list respect for him for begging her to come back

If Op stood his ground, and instead of begging her.
He should have clearly not React or respond to her stupid tricks and if she wants to leaves he should call parents to return his bride price. And tell them he is marrying another wife.
Carry the baby and find a nanny to help

But the main issue is that the woman married a SIMP. She just got so bored of him that she had to leave the SIMP.

Imagine a man that cares what others say about him. That is female behavior.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

LordReed:
Na dis kine one we go hear say tomorrow "woman stabs husband during argument". Let us avoid stories that touch abeg.

Beremx:
absolutely senseless comment. You and those who liked your comment are deluded.Google postpartum depression and know what it’s all about.

SultanOfPuna:
These SIMPS dive into marriage without knowledge of female psychology.

She is testing this fool to see if he is truly a man.
And he failed the test woefully

For the man to beg her to come back, has made the girl lose interest and respect for the guy.
Op wife is a strong manipulator. She is enjoying the fact that her man is willing to climb mountains to bring her back.
But she has list respect for him for begging her to come back

If Op stood his ground, and instead of begging her.
He should have clearly not React or respond to her stupid tricks and if she wants to leaves he should call parents to return his bride price. And tell them he is marrying another wife.
Carry the baby and find a nanny to help

But the main issue is that the woman married a SIMP. She just got so bored of him that she had to leave the SIMP.

Imagine a man that cares what others say about him. That is female behavior.

Bestnoma:
And how did you come to the conclusion? A married woman with a 5 month old baby in love with someone else? How and when did the love affair start? There may be something the OP did and haven't realized yet.It may just be the pregnancy hormones or the stress of being a new mother.The OP needs to give the woman enough time to come to her senses.He should do nothing or say nothing for the next one year.Its either she comes back to her senses and apologizes or she will then state what the actual problem is.

Elliot2:
No just worry. Make Nigerian girls just get a hold of this term fess. Una go collect wotowoto.

after4:
she is in love with someone else!
no kill yourself over her this is exactly what I wanted to say

And that is the summary someone has brain washed her

Move on brother
In a second alternative ask a pastor to pray for her it might be the hand of the enemies

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

blaquebelle:
Being that she just gave birth, it could be postpartum depression. Have you really sat down to discuss what her problem is? She must have given you reasons at least, even what you call none tangible, you can start from there. Try and convince her to attend marriage counselling or talk to her respected religious leader if she has one. If she doesn't agree to all these, there's really no point in forcing her to stay with you. Even the attitudes she would give you might make you regret forcing her back. As for the baby, choose based on the best environment for the child. Would you really have the time to be attentive to that delicate child, is the child still being breast fed. There are many things to consider in childcare. It's not as easy as it seems, even with the presence of a nanny.

Kobojunkie:
Why can't OP do it himself? Is he a leper or something?,

aktolly54:
he might be busy with work and been a man, the child will grow up to like 3 or 4 years before he can do the job by himself

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Kobojunkie:
So he is too busy to raise his own kid... that is a real excuse?

Oh, when the child grows up to like 4 or 4 years before OP can be less busy to raise his own child?

You folks like selling yourselves some of the most ridiculous yaps.

aktolly54:
you can't expect a man to be taking care of 6months child by himself alone.