₦airaland Forum

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

Swallow the patient pill and ginger your husband to hasten relocating you to where he is. That his sister is the spy planted to monitor you so that you won't go after another man.

Guys Why Do Most Women Find It Very Difficult In Accommodating People From Their Husband Side Than Their Their Own Side

ibechris:
People may u see u as a bad wife but your husband is the cause of this problem.

Every newly married and even old time married couple deserve their privacy. No matter how one sees it. Your in laws should have known this before hand.

This is a clear case of asunder and i see no reason why such a person should continue to stay when her brother is not around.

Talk to your husband that he needs to iron this matter squarely and let everyone be. Since it wasn't job that took her down to your house, what is she their for if not to cause problem.

Terrible
in laws!

They are not married, they are just co- habiting, if the Oga that travelled abroad refused to marry her or changes from good to bad, who will she report him to They are not your in-laws yet because you're not married to their son, yes you need privacy but Diplomacy is KEY...if you don't gerrit, forget abourrit

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

Move to another apartment if you can afford it and it's convenient. The family feels entitled. Your husband can assist his sister with basic needs e.g. bed and a small gas cooker. She'll have time to review her situation before the rent is due. That way, she'll determine if she can sustain the lifestyle on her own or go back home.

Olarhhh:
Yes I can.. learning to respect people's privacy is important please especially in a mini flat,, not coming to stay 2 weeks like u don't have a house

There is nothing like privacy from your husband's family once you marry in African culture. Your husband's people become your people. If you don't want that you should have married a white man. In Africa, you are married into your husband's family. That is why you bear his name. You need to tolerate and develop your emotional maturity.

Louder Dear! It's very Worrisome on how Wicked Most Married Women Act Towards Their Husband's Siblings and Husband's Parents Forgetting The Law Of Karma And NEMESIS

LadySarah:
You are mad dear Op.
I don't know what I'd wrong with we women

Tufia

viceddy95:
Is that the reason she said her husband's family is nosy, can she say the same thing about her family.

Are you minding the selfish Worriedwife? Thats how women are. Very selfish and devilish. She just want to have absolute freedom now that the husband has traveled. This will give power to do whatever without any family eyes seeing her.

Emma2Seconds:
Guys Why Do Most Women Find It Very Difficult In Accommodating People From Their Husband Side Than Their Their Own Side

Its the devil in them. Women dont love men especially in this part of the world, they see us as all a means for status upgrade or meal ticket. They are barely accommodating their husbands not to talk of hubby relations.

Br the thing too dey pain me .

Idaytesj29:
Its the devil in them. Women dont love men especially in this part of the world, they see us as all a means for status upgrade or meal ticket. They are barely accommodating their husbands not to talk of hubby relations.

yusufmurry:
Woman! I have a question for you. Why would you marry from a rude and nosy family?

If we have to start selecting families we should marry from, we might miss out on the special one. Sometimes we meet a great man whose family we later find out are troublesome.

If we are lucky, the man will be someone who can protect us from his family's troubles. If not, that's where trouble begins.

SerikiFulani:
Some men do fvck up big time

How can you leave your wife here in nigeria and travel out of the country ...No wonder a lotta married women are fucking around.

OP , your husband's sister is there to monitor you...They know you might want to fvck around and they put her there to keep an eye on you.

If you get hot now,how would you handle such situations?Would you cheat ? Or would you get intimacy gadgets?

I'll love to know @OP

Won't you rather leave your wife here and secure your properties and money abroad?

I know of a man who lives in the US, his friends sends him evidence of his cheating wife almost every week, baba no send.

I'll glady choose my property and money over women anyday anytime. Make she stay for Nigeria, nothing spoil.

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

This is an issue to address with your husband not your in laws, lest you become the evil Wife. Couples, especially young couples need to have their privacy without the external pressure from family and in-laws.

For now, until She eventually leaves your house, you need to find a way to not let it affect you mentally.

franchasofficia:
Yes but not having family members around doesn't feel cool either.



We that don't have any around aren't enjoying it either and wished we had plenty


I know that some humans can be annoying to live with, especially when they don't help in doing domestic works

It's better to stay on your own instead of have someone that will drive a wedge between you and your husband live with you.

A very close friend and "sister" had her mum inlaw stay with her for about a month. Can you imagine that the woman would go to her son and tell him not to let his wife has access to his phone. Then she would go to her daughter inlaw and ask her why her husband passwords his phone and not allow her access.

When they found out, they were disappointed. I have had my inlaws live with us for a month and I understood why my husband said he didn't want family living with us.

If it's one that has sense whether from my side or my husband's side that doesn't give me stress, and is helpful, I can allow. Otherwise, everybody "as you were!"

Your Talking Trash There's Nothing Like Feeling Entitled. Most of You women Are Wolf in sheep clothing.

delpee:
Move to another apartment if you can afford it and it's convenient. The family feels entitled. Your husband can assist his sister with basic needs e.g. bed and a small gas cooker. She'll have time to review her situation before the rent is due. That way, she'll determine if she can sustain the lifestyle on her own or go back home.

She is there to monitor you.


Draw up a roster on housechores.


And also how to drop money for stuff around the house.

Thedon22:
There is nothing like privacy from your husband's family once you marry in African culture. Your husband's people become your people. If you don't want that you should have married a white man. In Africa, you are married into your husband's family. That is why you bear his name. You need to tolerate and develop your emotional maturity.

No where is it stated that they have to move into your house and come and cause trouble because they are now your people.

I am African, but the side I'm from, they give you space. Nobody can come and trouble your wife except you allow it. It's not African culture to interfere in people's marriages, it is an individual thing.

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

Privacy is important.

Since your hubby travelled, seems the sis is there to keep you in check intentionally.

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

try to get money to change apartment , case closed

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

I think this one key area after money that intending couples should always discuss. Just some days back, I was discussing with colleagues on this same issue of family members beit mine or my wife's coming to stay immediately after marriage. I told them we would agreed between me and my wife that family be whoever will not exceed 2 weeks in our house after getting married till say after 3 years of marriage except for omugo which will be at most 2 months. Parents should learn to understand that after marriage, the couples should be let alone to forge their path and be bonded very well before any interference. The advice I've for is for you and your husband to discuss this, also if you both finally agree that if anybody should come and stay, it shouldn't be for a long period of time and you should also be willing to adhere to it. Any family member that does have any place to stay should stay away from your personal house. Your husband or you should rent a seperate apartment for your relatives and must be responsible for them since you consented to their coming.

It's been 4months now. You haven't been here for sometime, I hope you're alright and your hubby is gradually finding his feet over there. Sending prayers up for your family, everything will be alright.

Itzurboi:
I won't engage you because you won't have the mind to tell me what you typed one on one... Enjoy your weekend.

Probably I might not be able to tell you but am hell sure your wife tell you worst

ImaIma1:
It's better to stay on your own instead of have someone that will drive a wedge between you and your husband live with you.

A very close friend and "sister" had her mum inlaw stay with her for about a month. Can you imagine that the woman would go to her son and tell him not to let his wife has access to his phone. Then she would go to her daughter inlaw and ask her why her husband passwords his phone and not allow her access.

When they found out, they were disappointed. I have had my inlaws live with us for a month and I understood why my husband said he didn't want family living with us.

If it's one that has sense whether from my side or my husband's side that doesn't give me stress, and is helpful, I can allow. Otherwise, everybody "as you were!"

lol unbelievable

mastermaestro:
It’s easy to want crowd when you have the financial power to cater for them. But in her case, she is struggling to feed herself, baby, as well as offset debts left behind by her husband. She is broke and not getting any support because her husband has not found his footing where he is.

Do you know how depressing it is to worry about basic things like food, light bills, school fees and baby expenses? The said in-law offers nothing! Nothing! Nobody gets excited feeding extra mouth when they cannot fully feed themselves yet.

Oh now I understand, maybe I didn't read the full post, my bad and apologies for my initial comment



Thanks for clarifying

I hope you are joining him soon

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

You are just very self-centered. You are the one driving yourself nuts.
Why do you hate your in-laws?

homealone00:
Probably I might not be able to tell you but am hell sure your wife tell you worst

Do you live within lagos so we can atleast meet?

ImaIma1:
No where is it stated that they have to move into your house and come and cause trouble because they are now your people.

I am African, but the side I'm from, they give you space. Nobody can come and trouble your wife except you allow it. It's not African culture to interfere in people's marriages, it is an individual thing.

But the man allowed it. If the lady has a problem she should deal with the man. Didn't her husband live with a married relative too while growing up. I maintain that our culture allows extended relationship. That's why we still have family Owambes in family get-togethers. Okay, why did the husband ignore her complaints if they were serious?

Jammey6551:
Push her out so that you can have the space to carry other men ashawo... Una type plenty for my estate.

for abuja shebi?

viceddy95:
How which she was your sister, will you do same thing to her even though she spends years there..
No single respect for your husband's family

Madam make peace with your in-laws, don't come to social media looking for support in the name of advice....

Your husband just traveled abroad and you want to start turning him against his family already...

The wife's siblings will always be better welcomed, that is the way it is.
The man's sister is better off going to her own sister home.

franchasofficia:
Oh now I understand, maybe I didn't read the full post, my bad and apologies for my initial comment



Thanks for clarifying

My pleasure sir.