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I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyI'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. (3904 Views)

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Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 12:02pm On Aug 02, 2022
Guy you no get problem
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by ImaIma1(f): 12:07pm On Aug 02, 2022
So the girl was doing well in your business and instead of promoting her or increasing her salary or some job related reward, you decided to reward her by dating her.

Why the hell will.you complicate your life that way? Didn't you learn not to mix business and pleasure?

At this point, you can't settle down with an AS person. You have to finale a way to unhook yourself from your present girlfriend. So are you going to "un-adopt" the son?
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Mercury12(m): 12:39pm On Aug 02, 2022
Lol
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Mercury12(m): 12:46pm On Aug 02, 2022
sisisioge:
grin grin grin grin

You will not kill yourself fa! You mean the older AS gf would continue to work for you while you date you school gf? In fact, you even think the school gf really loves/like you? Whew! You dont know anything.

How about the daughter you adopted? Are you going to unadopt her? Whew! Good luck biko...I cant even type grin
You just confuse like most of us.
The matter tire person
cheesy
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 2:57pm On Aug 02, 2022
ImaIma1:
At this point, you can't settle down with an AS person. You have to finale a way to unhook yourself from your present girlfriend. So are you going to "un-adopt" the son?
It was a survival calculation to date her. I had no presence in the business then. She could run it down if she doesn't have a stake in it. I gave her a reason not to.

She's a girl. I'm thinking of setting up a trust or a life insurance where she's going to be the beneficiary. I don't know what to do with her. I love her.

I guess the thing to do now is to "unhinge" myself like you suggested.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 3:00pm On Aug 02, 2022
Mercury12:
You just confuse like most of us.
The matter tire person
cheesy
I've been laughing reading all the comments. I can't believe it's my life we are talking about.
And this isn't even close to my biggest challenges. I will be fine las las.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 3:01pm On Aug 02, 2022
Aaaaarghmed:
Guy you no get problem
Ehn ehn? huh
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by somenody: 3:56pm On Aug 02, 2022
op my advice is for you to be selfish and be a bad person.

You don't want to marry business girlfriend? dump her and fire her. you are still the boss jare .
Fire her cause once you dump her she will want to destroy you.

Marry new gf if that's what you want .
if you don't like the new one and u see another one,rinse and repeat.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by WhatCanIsay(m): 4:48pm On Aug 02, 2022
Davies25:
It was a survival calculation to date her. I had no presence in the business then. She could run it down if she doesn't have a stake in it. I gave her a reason not to.

She's a girl. I'm thinking of setting up a trust or a life insurance where she's going to be the beneficiary. I don't know what to do with her. I love her.

I guess the thing to do now is to "unhinge" myself like you suggested.
Did you know the gal when you started the business? Is she the only human being that can be a salesgirl to you? Why do you think that your life is totally hinged on any of the girls?

Oga, kindly stop digging deeper grave for yourself! That salesgirl can and might hurt you badly in the future that you will end up not taking necessary actions earlier. Better don't complicate your life the more. You have already lost a lot psychologically by believing the gal is the sole mainstay of your business. Don't take any other life complicating actions, rather start gradual extraction.

You know best sha
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Calibrator: 5:02pm On Aug 02, 2022
Just when you think that the highest quality of Foolishness obtainable in a human is the "Pro" variant...... Someone will proudly show up with "Pro Max"
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Nicepoker(m): 5:29pm On Aug 02, 2022
"Fast forward I met a girl, she is everything I ever wanted. I am like a Nigerian girl having everything you ever wanted. No wonder you feel like dying. grin
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 6:19pm On Aug 02, 2022
Calibrator:
Just when you think that the highest quality of Foolishness obtainable in a human is the "Pro" variant...... Someone will proudly show up with "Pro Max"
This vawulence is too much, reduce am abeg grin
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 6:21pm On Aug 02, 2022
Nicepoker:
"Fast forward I met a girl, she is everything I ever wanted. I am like a Nigerian girl having everything you ever wanted. No wonder you feel like dying. grin
Like i tell you
Make girl have like 4 marketable skills, connects with you well, ambitious and she com fine like maaad join.
Wetin ah wan want again?
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Kemadealadire(f): 6:30pm On Aug 02, 2022
Davies25:
Like i tell you
Make girl have like 4 marketable skills, connects with you well, ambitious and she com fine like maaad join.
Wetin ah wan want again?
Sha check her genotype well.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by AndroidAI(m): 7:02pm On Aug 02, 2022
This one is an idiiot.

The old gf will soon poison you and take over your business.

And i wouldn't blame her.

In fact i hope she poison you undecided
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 7:21pm On Aug 02, 2022
AndroidAI:
This one is an idiiot.

In fact i hope she poison you undecided
Ah, bros why now.
Our relationship was contractual.
It is well Sha
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by emmeyen: 8:59pm On Aug 02, 2022
Davies25:
Like i tell you
Make girl have like 4 marketable skills, connects with you well, ambitious and she com fine like maaad join.
Wetin ah wan want again?
Na now you land. Na that fine dey freak you abi? What tells you she wants to end up with a sickle cell man who is probably in his late thirties or early forties. Its not your fault, its because your business has revived. When she runs you down well, your eye go clear. Sha loose the sales girl and let her go and please unadopt the poor child. The adoption was just a way of getting into the mother's pants.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 11:19pm On Aug 02, 2022
emmeyen:
Na now you land. Na that fine dey freak you abi? What tells you she wants to end up with a sickle cell man who is probably in his late thirties or early forties. Its not your fault, its because your business has revived. When she runs you down well, your eye go clear. Sha loose the sales girl and let her go and please unadopt the poor child. The adoption was just a way of getting into the mother's pants.
Lol, first, I'm 30. She's 22.
Second, i adopted the girl cos i love her. She's always going to be a part of my life wherever she is.
Thirdly, I'm not even particular about the new girl, yes, i like her, even love her but it's not a do or die thing.
Fourthly, I've been in several contractual relationships and they've all ended well cos most of the girls are matured and knows what they want. So, i didn't think hers would be different.
Fifthly, my business wasn't dying, i wasn't just available. She took care of the gap and i appreciated that by giving her a stake in the business. So sir/ma, you got it all wrong.
And lastly, being a sickle cell doesn't stop me from living a good life. I go for whatever i want.
I've got matured women willing to do anything to end up with me. So yes, i believe she will want to be with me if it's what she wants
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op): 11:33pm On Aug 02, 2022
emmeyen:
Na now you land. Na that fine dey freak you abi?
I was just catching cruise with that comment, you should read the tone.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by emmeyen: 3:47am On Aug 03, 2022
Davies25:
Lol, first, I'm 30. She's 22.
Second, i adopted the girl cos i love her. She's always going to be a part of my life wherever she is.
Thirdly, I'm not even particular about the new girl, yes, i like her, even love her but it's not a do or die thing.
Fourthly, I've been in several contractual relationships and they've all ended well cos most of the girls are matured and knows what they want. So, i didn't think hers would be different.
Fifthly, my business wasn't dying, i wasn't just available. She took care of the gap and i appreciated that by giving her a stake in the business. So sir/ma, you got it all wrong.
And lastly, being a sickle cell doesn't stop me from living a good life. I go for whatever i want.
I've got matured women willing to do anything to end up with me. So yes, i believe she will want to be with me if it's what she wants
And you feel someone within that age bracket is matured enough to stick by you in times of your crisis? Let me guess, she hasn't even seen you have one. Even people with AS always ask for the genotype of prospective partners before starting anything. But you use the idea of consensual relationships to have sex with different people because in your head, you are matured and you have to go for what you want. Not everyone take the bait of "I want to use you and dump you" in the name of consensus. You have matured women willing to do anything to have you right? Biko loose the single mother and let her go.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by ghettochild(m): 5:57am On Aug 03, 2022
Here is my advice.
U have done nothing wrong cos most men will do exactly what u did.
Forget about the younger girl tho, find someone else..
Have a sit down talk with oldie gf...
I mean serious one...
Let her know u both will never amount to man n wife due to your genotypes n that the best you have done is to adopt her daughter which would not change in future.
You might even think oldie loves you...
Hell No, take out the element of u being her source of livelihood then u would see... it based on something for something.. most time women will always show gratitude especially if u tend to be their Lil god.
If oldie loves u she would let u have another woman so as to have ur own biological kids.
And to be sincere sm1 10 younger than u won't understand that oldie will still have to be in ur life pending when u might decide to set her up with her own business. And what u really need now isn't a career driven woman..
U need oldie as much as she needs u but she must understand u must have ur own life hence I suggest u stop having sex with her.... I repeat stop having sex with her.. that will send her a clear message u need to have your own life.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by EmahBoss(f): 10:08pm On Aug 05, 2022
One word, you are selfish!
Two words: confused and in serious.
How on earth would you think a 22 ambitious girl with 4 marketable skills who aims to travel out wants to be with you resolute knowing you have a live in single mother lover? Guy you are cruise to her. She has better options. The fact that you think you can make a woman run your business well by sleeping with her means you are shallow
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by Davies25(op):
EmahBoss:
One word, you are selfish!
Two words: confused and in serious.
How on earth would you think a 22 ambitious girl with 4 marketable skills who aims to travel out wants to be with you resolute knowing you have a live in single mother lover? Guy you are cruise to her. She has better options. The fact that you think you can make a woman run your business well by sleeping with her means you are shallow
You took the words outta my head.

But don't think that's all the story. I believe you are deep minded enough to know a less than 500 words story doesn't tell you my total story. Or even the entire events.
Dating her was necessary at the time. Yea, it was a wrong call but, it was the only viable solution I could think of as of then.

As for my 22 year old, people make choices, people make decisions, As long as they are not coerced into it. 5% of the story isn't even here.
Re: I'm In Trouble. I Need Your Advice. by hennyrolz: 1:20am On Aug 12, 2022
Channah1:
You want to have your cake and eat it. It's not possible now.

What stops you from keeping the relationship between you and the old girlfriend strictly business and platonic when you knew you can't marry her? Long throat na dey worry you.

At this juncture, there's nothing you can do. The only thing now is to cut off old girlfriend, bring the new one in and train her on the biz. That way you can both keep her for the biz and the relationship. Greedy man.
Exactly what I thought the Op is selfish.. he said he wants the old girl for business and then new for marriage.. you can’t have it all Mr Man �
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