Dear ....., Please Let's Advise this Woman...

Pls ma kindly hide my identity. My Marriage with my husband is just 1 Month and a week Old. There is this money I have in my Acct, it is my life Savings about N1.7 million...I kept this money in a Fixed Deposit Acct since 2017....and unknowingly to me my husband saw the alert on my Phone and that was the beginning of issues in this 1 month Marriage.

Before then I have told him that I want to add a new business Line to my Old business to enable me get money from both sides...Over since 3weeks he has been given me attitude, not talking or eating together with me anymore.. If we are Sleeping on the bed together he will turn his Head down ward to the Opposite direction i.e if my head is on the Pillow he will Put his own head near my feet @ the end of the Bed....


I have begged him to tell me my offence, he said nothing, that I didn't wrong him. I asked what is the problem, he refused to speak until yesterday night when I reported him to his Best friendship and what he said was a shock to my life......

https://livelystones.ng/2022/02/11/true-life-story-my-one-month-old-marriage-about-to-collapse-pls-advise/

Hes not a nice person. Ignore him!

you mean your husband is sulking so that you can give him the money

Don't give him any shishi

bigjackass:
you mean your husband is sulking so that you can give him the money

He's only wetting the ground before he bills her. Baba eye don enter d money

U would have to him before he got to know. the truth is that most men don't like their wives hiding something (vitae information) away from them; that is the truth. I will advise u to continue to beg him for forgiveness, i believe he will.

Is he a thief ?

Only a greedy thief will start sulking over someone's money.

Money earned and fixed before getting married to you. Jeez !

OVB123:
U would have to him before he got to know. the truth is that most men don't like their wives hiding something (vitae information) away from them; that is the truth. I will advise u to continue to beg him for forgiveness, i believe he will.

So we do asset declaration before marriage now or is it because she's a woman?

And you are boldly advising her to continue begging for forgiveness for owning and not declaring and handing over her hard earned 1.7 m. Damn !


What's vitae information about a sum she fixed as a spinster?

Would he have started acting up if he had seen an alert of 1k 700 naira?


Sir, please DON'T raise your daughter like this !


This is arrant nonsense laced with rubbish !

Women and the things they pick as horsebands !

OVB123:
U would have to him before he got to know. the truth is that most men don't like their wives hiding something (vitae information) away from them; that is the truth. I will advise u to continue to beg him for forgiveness, i believe he will.

Exactly who does? Does a woman like it when her husband hides something from her?

In this case, what exactly did the woman hide from her husband? And why is she to beg him forgiveness for?

bigjackass:
you mean your husband is sulking so that you can give him the money

Na wa ooo! she married herself a manipulative one indeed.

OVB123:
U would have to him before he got to know. the truth is that most men don't like their wives hiding something (vitae information) away from them; that is the truth. I will advise u to continue to beg him for forgiveness, i believe he will.

vital information for what ? its her money she made before they got married, eventually ahe was going to tell him remember its barely a month of marriage
Ask for forgiveness why ?

The guy has just proved that he is insecure in his woman having more money or showing signs of being able to handle money

Was going to act the same way if he had found that his has her own house ? using the same time frame of marriage

the brother has no shame, lets say the wife says she wants to give the money to her parents is he going to moan about it on what grounds ?

the marriage is only 4 weeks and he sulking over money that was made by her self, he should be proud of his woman, having the financial knowledge putting money into fixed deposit acc

doggedfighter:



So we do asset declaration before marriage now or is it because she's a woman?

And you are boldly advising her to continue begging for forgiveness for owning and not declaring and handing over her hard earned 1.7 m. Damn !


What's vitae information about a sum she fixed as a spinster?

Would he have started acting up if he had seen an alert of 1k 700 naira?


Sir, please DON'T raise your daughter like this !


This is arrant nonsense laced with rubbish !

Women and the things they pick as horsebands !

My friend you can say that again oooo, some men are pure evil! They don't want to see their wives progress or make any positive head way in life.... Especially, this our Nigerian men, some of them are destiny destroyer..... So timid and inferior.... Money she saved from her sweat, naim him dey vex untop, you go vex you go tire..... Instead of him to be happy and start petting his wife to see if they can jointly make something good out of it, he is angry... Well, this kind men dey jam their type.

ststyreal:




My friend you can say that again oooo, some men are pure evil! They don't want to see their wives progress or make any positive head way in life.... Especially, this our Nigerian men, some of them are destiny destroyer..... So timid and inferior.... Money she saved from her sweat, naim him dey vex untop, you go vex you go tire..... Instead of him to be happy and start petting his wife to see if they can jointly make something good out of it, he is angry... Well, this kind men dey jam their type.

My dear, it's appalling . And every little thing they will ask you to go begging.


Women have been turned to perpetual beggars.

What was your agreements on finances and disclosure before the marriage? If you guys agreed to non disclosure, he's got no right to get angry and you should tell him to his face.

I sometimes wonder what people discuss while dating that issues like this arises in their marriage.

GboyegaD:
What was your agreements on finances and disclosure before the marriage? If you guys agreed to non disclosure, he's got no right to get angry and you should tell him to his face.

I sometimes wonder what people discuss while dating that issues like this arises in their marriage.

whether discloure or not does one has to be pissed of with what one made before marriage?

its up to the wife to bring the money into her new life(marriage) or use it on her family (family trust)

the issue is he feels insecure becoz money can be used as tool (power and control) and like most african he feels threatened. he thinks he might have no control over his wife becoz she has the tool (money/wisdom)


Hubby is jealousy of wife's success, she has a current running business and she wants open another one with her own money, the hubby feels useless and lost confidence in being a provider

ZIMDRILL:

whether discloure or not does one has to be pissed of with what one made before marriage?
its up to the wife to bring the money into her new life(marriage) or use it on her family (family trust) the issue is he feels insecure becoz money can be used as tool (power and control) and like most african he feels threatened. he thinks he might have no control over his wife becoz she has the tool (money/wisdom)
Hubby is jealousy of wife's success, she has a current running business and she wants open another one with her own money, the hubby feels useless and lost confidence in being a provider

I guess we read things differently. I do not agree with him getting angry and sulking but nonetheless, whether it was made outside of the marriage or not, it should be disclosed. They agreed to marry each other and from that day forward, one burden/success becomes that of the other. Disclosing it doesn't suggest he wants to get the money so I do not see why you think the guy is insecure. Anyways, she knew his person and decided to settle with him.

GboyegaD:


I guess we read things differently. I do not agree with him getting angry and sulking but nonetheless, whether it was made outside of the marriage or not, it should be disclosed. They agreed to marry each other and from that day forward, one burden/success becomes that of the other. Disclosing it doesn't suggest he wants to get the money so I do not see why you think the guy is insecure. Anyways, she knew his person and decided to settle with him.

Fair point but lets look at the points raised

1 marriage is just 4 weeks still plenty of time to disclose, she hasnt even settled yet

2 He showing signs of not being mature which opens lots of speculation of what he thinks of the money

3 You can know someone to a certain level and understanding then circumstances bring out a character that you knew existed in a person

This is serious.
Knowing that your marriage is barely one month, shows that you both have spent a lot in the marriage celebrations.

In this case, alot of women, will keep their own money locked up in their account, while the man is being put under pressure for all the expenses.

If you check well, the man might even still be in little little loan while 1.7million is in his wife's bank account. Haba

From your story, he knew about it after seeing her alert. Too bad. During courtship, you talked about almost everything, is money not included?
Your husband have no intention to take your money, but he's feeling hurt, you lied to him. You made him look like a fool.
The woman is greedy, only thinking about herself alone.
I have counsel this same sinerios several times.

Last year, this same issue almost broke a family.
A newly wed, just two days after returning back from the village after their wedding, the man had an urgent call from work to report to Kano office from Abuja. He was calling everyone he knows for #20k assistance, because they had nothing left, even the wife was calling friends she knows, but could you believe she had over #260k locked down in her account, but couldn't share with her man who spent all his money on her beautifing her with expensive clothes and jewelries?
It was this monthly bank charge debit alert that made the man to discoverd.

The effect of that act, has not left their home till today.
The woman should ask for forgiveness and stop claiming right here.

ZIMDRILL:


vital information for what ? its her money she made before they got married, eventually ahe was going to tell him remember its barely a month of marriage
Ask for forgiveness why ?

The guy has just proved that he is insecure in his woman having more money or showing signs of being able to handle money

Was going to act the same way if he had found that his has her own house ? using the same time frame of marriage

the brother has no shame, lets say the wife says she wants to give the money to her parents is he going to moan about it on what grounds ?

the marriage is only 4 weeks and he sulking over money that was made by her self, he should be proud of his woman, having the financial knowledge putting money into fixed deposit acc

Some of the advice that some of you give on a faceless forum, is far from reality.
Why don't you quickly put yourself in the man's shoes and give your view on this again.

Darlingme:
This is serious.
Knowing that your marriage is barely one month, shows that you both have spent a lot in the marriage celebrations.

In this case, alot of women, will keep their own money locked up in their account, while the man is being put under pressure for all the expenses.

If you check well, the man might even still be in little little loan while 1.7million is in his wife's bank account. Haba

......
Last year, this same issue almost broke a family.
A newly wed, just two days after returning back from the village after their wedding, the man had an urgent call from work to report to Kano office from Abuja. He was calling everyone he knows for #20k assistance, because they had nothing left, even the wife was calling friends she knows, but could you believe she had over #260k locked down in her account, but couldn't share with her man who spent all his money on her beautifing her with expensive clothes and jewelries?
It was this monthly bank charge debit alert that made the man to discoverd.
The effect of tha act, has not left their home till today.
The woman should ask for forgiveness and stop claiming right here.

So what you are saying is that a man foolishly spent money he did not have on marriage celebrations he could not afford, and then after he found out that the women he married did not make the same foolish mistake he did, he began fuming cause of it?

You are suggesting a woman should ask for forgiveness from her spouse for keeping her nest egg safe from his lavish spending during what was their wedding only a month prior?

Am I the only one here not impressed by your submission here, or what?

Why would any sane individual enter into marriage like that to begin with?

Mercychen:
Hes not a nice person. Ignore him!

Go and marry your own husband. These days eggs dries up easily

jojo2023:
Dear ....., Please Let's Advise this Woman...

Pls ma kindly hide my identity. My Marriage with my husband is just 1 Month and a week Old. There is this money I have in my Acct, it is my life Savings about N1.7 million...I kept this money in a Fixed Deposit Acct since 2017....and unknowingly to me my husband saw the alert on my Phone and that was the beginning of issues in this 1 month Marriage.

Before then I have told him that I want to add a new business Line to my Old business to enable me get money from both sides...Over since 3weeks he has been given me attitude, not talking or eating together with me anymore.. If we are Sleeping on the bed together he will turn his Head down ward to the Opposite direction i.e if my head is on the Pillow he will Put his own head near my feet @ the end of the Bed....


I have begged him to tell me my offence, he said nothing, that I didn't wrong him. I asked what is the problem, he refused to speak until yesterday night when I reported him to his Best friendship and what he said was a shock to my life......

https://livelystones.ng/2022/02/11/true-life-story-my-one-month-old-marriage-about-to-collapse-pls-advise/

She married the wrong man

jojo2023:
Dear ....., Please Let's Advise this Woman...

Pls ma kindly hide my identity. My Marriage with my husband is just 1 Month and a week Old. There is this money I have in my Acct, it is my life Savings about N1.7 million...I kept this money in a Fixed Deposit Acct since 2017....and unknowingly to me my husband saw the alert on my Phone and that was the beginning of issues in this 1 month Marriage.

Before then I have told him that I want to add a new business Line to my Old business to enable me get money from both sides...Over since 3weeks he has been given me attitude, not talking or eating together with me anymore.. If we are Sleeping on the bed together he will turn his Head down ward to the Opposite direction i.e if my head is on the Pillow he will Put his own head near my feet @ the end of the Bed....


I have begged him to tell me my offence, he said nothing, that I didn't wrong him. I asked what is the problem, he refused to speak until yesterday night when I reported him to his Best friendship and what he said was a shock to my life......

https://livelystones.ng/2022/02/11/true-life-story-my-one-month-old-marriage-about-to-collapse-pls-advise/

You married a kid. Sorry ehn. You nor carry eye go market at all. You married an overgrown toddler. Ngwanu help your mother in law retrain your husband, teach him what it means to be responsible and if he wants control he should be ready to pay the price.

Kobojunkie:
So what you are saying is that a man foolishly spent money he did not have on marriage celebrations he could not afford, and then after he found out that the women he married did not make the same foolish mistake he did, he began fuming cause of it?

You are suggesting a woman should ask for forgiveness from her spouse for keeping her nesting safe from his lavish spending during what was their wedding only a month prior?

Am I the only one here not impressed by your submission here, or what?

Why would any sane individual enter into marriage like that to begin with?

Do to your partner what you want him/her do to you

doggedfighter:



So we do asset declaration before marriage now or is it because she's a woman?

And you are boldly advising her to continue begging for forgiveness for owning and not declaring and handing over her hard earned 1.7 m. Damn !


What's vitae information about a sum she fixed as a spinster?

Would he have started acting up if he had seen an alert of 1k 700 naira?


Sir, please DON'T raise your daughter like this !


This is arrant nonsense laced with rubbish !

Women and the things they pick as horsebands !

I'm sure you're not married

Darlingme:
Do to your partner what you want him/her do to you

I don't get your meaning at all.

The man chose to spend money he didn't have on celebration he could not afford. So who is doing what to whom here?

bigjackass:
you mean your husband is sulking so that you can give him the money

Exactly. So that he will play nairabet with it.

fairwayboy:


I'm sure you're not married

And I am sure you are married and this how you manipulate and guilt trip your wife until you corner her money.

You want free advice and you are referring us to a link. Continue.

Darlingme:
Some of the advice that some of you give on a faceless forum, is far from reality.
Why don't you quickly put yourself in the man's shoes and give your view on this again.

you got it wrong there is advice in my post but my own speculation how i views things

I wonder what we talked about during courtship.....

Its her money and she can do whatever with it. She still has the time to tell the husband since their marriage is only a month old. I don't see reason why she should beg for forgiveness, na her money before she marry the nigga.

Nigga should stop feeling jealous and insecure.


The husband should be happy the wife is financially responsible and independent instead of sulking. Yes, she didn't say anything about it probably because she knew the kind of person she got married to.

Have seen a situation where whenever the husband knows the wife has money, he looks for ways to make her give him the money and I tell you, that man can manipulate for Africa. It got to a point she stopped telling him about anything that's to do with money..


Commenters above said something about the husband spending on their wedding day while she kept quiet about her own money.

We don't know how they plan their wedding or the discussion they had.

The husband chose to spend his money, the wife chooses to keep hers cuz she has plan.

You will be surprised that most weddings we see where they spend lavishly is the idea of the man not the woman.

A friend of mine wanted a small family wedding, the husband wanted something loud because of his friends. He wasn't ready to compromise or beat the budget down, the wife agreed on the condition that she only contribute 300k and the husband would shoulder the rest. The budget was 2.5m. When I asked her, she said it's the after marriage that she's scared of and she can't put all her egg in one basket.

I don't really understand how some people think.... What did you discuss during courtship?
For me both parties are wrong,the wife in question is wrong for not telling her husband."Nothing like it's her money",if she doesn't trust the man that much,why did she agree to walk down the aisle with him.... Probably maybe the man has never hidden anything from the wife.
For the Husband's aspect he shouldn't over react,the marriage is too young for this...
In conclusion everyone should choose their evil wisely