₦airaland Forum

I was about to say Nigerians can be so toxic (although most (in the South) claim to be Christian (Jesus would be so proud)); thank Goodness some of the latest responses are more constructive. Truth be told, from what I've seen most Nigerian men seem to have a sense of entitlement when it comes to marriage - they expect to be the boss while having all their needs taking care of. And, apparently, most Nigerian women expect to be completely dependent financially on the man. It doesn't make for good relationships overall - perhaps that's what you're observing.

Yet there is that pressure, especially on women to marry. Which doesn't leave a lot of room to find Mr. Right (the person who compliments you best), repeating the generational cycle. I feel you. Stick to your guns - don't sell out. In the meanwhile, attempt to establish yourself financially and independently.

And here is thinking outside the box: is it possible to set up a singles discussion group in your area? Who knows, you might find like minded people i.e. people willing to discuss controversial issues openly, and it could be profitable. Good luck.

@OP, your statement is an assertion, not a question. You weren't exactly asking. A question would have read 'Is Marriage A Bondage?'.

I'm not married yet, but I've lived with so many couples, newly-weds and oldies, and I can tell you- YOUR MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT! Its your choice. You can feel like its a bondage, or you can choose to enjoy the wonderful partnership/companionship therein. Its all up to you.


Every one who has asked you to go for counselling here is correct. Even people who don't have your mindset need an orientation for this sacred institution. While you're waiting for your prince charming, however
1. Learn to sacrifice
2. Learn to negotiate
3. Pray
Wish you all the best, dear. Marriage, for me, is going to be bliss, and it should be for you too!

Idowuogbo: ^lmAoooo!!!

Who d heck moved dis to family sect?

Poster! Get ready! Ur own don better o!

#subscribing#

LOL! As if you don't know! Romance section was doing what they did best
#subscribing#

LOL if you have assumed marriage is a bondage, how do you expect the married women of nairaland to confirm that? Suffer and smiley women? They will tell you want you want to hear like they tell themselves they are in love. and that love conquers all 'poverty' 'joblessness' 'abusive husbands' 'nosey families'

ezicat: I was about to say Nigerians can be so toxic (although most (in the South) claim to be Christian (Jesus would be so proud)); thank Goodness some of the latest responses are more constructive. Truth be told, from what I've seen most Nigerian men seem to have a sense of entitlement when it comes to marriage - they expect to be the boss while having all their needs taking care of. And, apparently, most Nigerian women expect to be completely dependent financially on the man. It doesn't make for good relationships overall - perhaps that's what you're observing.

Yet there is that pressure, especially on women to marry. Which doesn't leave a lot of room to find Mr. Right (the person who compliments you best), repeating the generational cycle. I feel you. Stick to your guns - don't sell out. In the meanwhile, attempt to establish yourself financially and independently.

And here is thinking outside the box: is it possible to set up a singles discussion group in your area? Who knows, you might find like minded people i.e. people willing to discuss controversial issues openly, and it could be profitable. Good luck.

soo true!

My dear poster.
If you meet the right man, marriage is not a bondage at all. It is very very very sweet and as you grow together, the love becomes even more amazing and better. Just choose right.

Now reading through the topic, all I can say is Na wa and it is a woman that married this Pdude guy. That woman ma ku ise o. Elejo wewe master, how can you say you are married but your countenance is that off a 14 year old female teenager.

@ Vanity

I sincerly hope I meet such a man. I have a friend who is enjoying her marriage with such a man. Hers is the only case I ve seen. She's been mrried for over 3 years and still very much inlove

As for pdude I just ignore him cos that's what he deserves

Goddymoda

den dey comfort you abi? LOL. they are telling you sweet words and you are agreeing? what you need is the truth and I will tell it to you. LOOK FOR A GOOD MAN! I WON'T COME HERE AND PAMPER YOU WITH SWEET WORDS. THE TRUTH IS BITTER BUT IT IS FOR THE BEST. you are like a little sister to me and I will tell you the truth.

I wish you well in your search. I have a bunch of decent friends who are also doing well and searching. I could hook you up if you're down. this is on a lighter note.

stay blessed.

pDude: Goddymoda

den dey comfort you abi? LOL. they are telling you sweet words and you are agreeing? what you need is the truth and I will tell it to you. LOOK FOR A GOOD MAN! I WON'T COME HERE AND PAMPER YOU WITH SWEET WORDS. THE TRUTH IS BITTER BUT IT IS FOR THE BEST. you are like a little sister to me and I will tell you the truth.

I wish you well in your search. I have a bunch of decent friends who are also doing well and searching. I could hook you up if you're down. this is on a lighter note.

stay blessed.

Crazieeeeee!

pDude: Goddymoda

den dey comfort you abi? LOL. they are telling you sweet words and you are agreeing? what you need is the truth and I will tell it to you. LOOK FOR A GOOD MAN! I WON'T COME HERE AND PAMPER YOU WITH SWEET WORDS. THE TRUTH IS BITTER BUT IT IS FOR THE BEST. you are like a little sister to me and I will tell you the truth.

I wish you well in your search. I have a bunch of decent friends who are also doing well and searching. I could hook you up if you're down this is on a lighter note.

stay blessed.

smh

I just went through this thread again and couldn't help shaking my head at pdude and skills.

Those guys were immature and silly, and to think one was even married at the time. Makes you wonder about the caliber of men we have these days.

I asked a simple question and they went on a rampage showcasing their stu.pidity and low IQ.

I'm married now; for over seven years. I finally got over my fear of marriage and took the plunge.

Marriage is not what I expected; it's so different from what I thought.

It can be beautiful if you marry the right person, stay committed to it; work hard at it, give as much as you get, laugh together, and pray.

I just thought to update this thread so any young lady currently having that irrational far I had will know not to.

Godmother:
I just went through this thread again and couldn't help shaking my head at pdude and skills.

Those guys were immature and silly, and to think one was even married at the time. Makes you wonder about the caliber of men we have these days.

I asked a simple question and they went on a rampage showcasing their stu.pidity and low IQ.

I'm married now; for over seven years. I finally got over my fear of marriage and took the plunge.

Marriage is not what I expected; it's so different from what I thought.

It can be beautiful if you marry the right person, stay committed to it; work hard at it, give as much as you get, laugh together, and pray.

I just thought to update this thread so any young lady currently having that irrational far I had will know not to.

After leading some impressionable people astray, you got over your fear and still went ahead to marry. This is why I carefully sieve what I allow influence me on social media because if one is not careful, one will be lead into a pit.

Godmother:
For all the married women out there, I would appreciate your viewpoint about Nigerian marriages. Is it like a bondage for women. Once a woman gets married she's expected to change her entire self to please the man.

I believe in being submissive o, but some men can take it to the extreme. My mum and sisters keep telling me there's nothing in marriage and we single girls shouldn't be desperate to rush in. And I saw for a fact that my dad wasn't the best of husbands.

I recently left a relationship where the guy was overbearing. He wanted things done his way ALL THE TIME. I had to think of ways to make him happy always and each time he brought up the subject of marriage I froze. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with him.

You ladies say yes to fools and after experiencing the disaster of sleeping with fools you generalize for all men...you ladies should stop incentivizing stupid men. Look for character and not cheddar. Look for godliness and not gbolaliness. Look for a visionary man and not the one demanding missionary style. Look for a sage and not a cage in human form...there are great men out there but more often than not your desire for reckless gbola, sudden money and oven fresh lies has led most of your end up with fools.

Ishilove:
After leading some impressionable people astray, you got over your fear and still went ahead to marry. This is why I carefully sieve what I allow influence me on social media because if one is not careful, one will be lead into a pit.

I led some people astray?
Pray ma, define "astray".
Did you read the post from the beginning to see that I was a young lady consumed with great fear of marriage after the experiences I saw around me; domestic violence, serial cheating, unplanned death, etc? Or you just flew to your unfounded conclusion?

I learned too late that nairaland is the wrong place to seek any sort of therapy with selfish, self-centered, and immature people masquerading as sane citizens.

I'm no longer that calm lady that took so much insults lying down without fighting back. If you come at me with such nonsense I'm going to give it to you in the same measure. Myoraye.

Na wa oooo
Nairaland still remained toxic till now

Godmother:
I led some people astray?
Pray ma, define "astray".
Did you read the post from the beginning to see that I was a young lady consumed with great fear of marriage after the experiences I saw around me; domestic violence, serial cheating, unplanned death, etc? Or you just flew to your unfounded conclusion?

I learned too late that nairaland is the wrong place to seek any sort of therapy with selfish, self-centered, and immature people masquerading as sane citizens.

I'm no longer that calm lady that took so much insults lying down without fighting back. If you come at me with such nonsense I'm going to give it to you in the same measure. Myoraye.

Wos wos wobi, Mrs Ogbeni, shut the fvck up ke koshi danu. I had soundly ignored you previously, but i see you edited your post to add the last line. You think I have the time for useless e-fights? You may have the time but I definitely do not. You say if I should 'come at you with nonsense', you will reply in double measure or whatever rubbish you spewed. It is like you are high on your own potently stinky fart. You wrote nonsense many years ago and till date, even after seeing the light, you have not edited what you wrote. You started out saying marriage is bondage, and yet you still went into the same 'bondage'. Meanwhile, some foolish people will get their misguided inspiration from your original point of view. It reminds me of when Tonto was manless and she was calling herself 'king', but when Kpokpogari came into the picture, she remembered she is a woman and her son needs a father figure.

Wo, all of you should fvck off jare. Don't bother replying because I am going to ignore you so hard, you will doubt your own existence. Shior.

Ishilove:
Wos wos wobi, Mrs Ogbeni, shut the fvck up ke koshi danu. I had soundly ignored you previously, but i see you edited your post to add the last line. You think I have the time for useless e-fights? You may have the time but I definitely do not. You say if I should 'come at you with nonsense', you will reply in double measure or whatever rubbish you spewed. It is like you are high on your own potently stinky fart. You wrote nonsense many years ago and till date, even after seeing the light, you have not edited what you wrote. You started out saying marriage is bondage, and yet you still went into the same 'bondage'. Meanwhile, some foolish people will get their misguided inspiration from your original point of view. It reminds me of when Tonto was manless and she was calling herself 'king', but when Kpokpogari came into the picture, she remembered she is a woman and her son needs a father figure.

Wo, all of you should fvck off jare. Don't bother replying because I am going to ignore you so hard, you will doubt your own existence. Shior.

Press her...

crackhaus:
Press her...

Referee

crackhaus:
Press her...

My handsome friend, she can go take a dive off the deep end of the third mainland bridge for all I care. I've said my bit and moved on.

Radarada. Oshisko

Ishilove:
My handsome friend, she can go take a dive off the deep end of the third mainland bridge for all I care. I've said my bit and moved on.

Radarada. Oshisko

Jay's head is *bigging now**
Lolz.

Ngbotor de lor di?

ahnie:
Jay's head is *bigging now**
Lolz.

Ngbotor de lor di?

Make Jay head no too big. I just say it as it is

Nwene n'maru, ndawu. Umu igoshi nko?

Godmother:
I just went through this thread again and couldn't help shaking my head at pdude and skills.

Those guys were immature and silly, and to think one was even married at the time. Makes you wonder about the caliber of men we have these days.

I asked a simple question and they went on a rampage showcasing their stu.pidity and low IQ.

I'm married now; for over seven years. I finally got over my fear of marriage and took the plunge.

Marriage is not what I expected; it's so different from what I thought.

It can be beautiful if you marry the right person, stay committed to it; work hard at it, give as much as you get, laugh together, and pray.

I just thought to update this thread so any young lady currently having that irrational far I had will know not to.

Nice one.

Since you are the OP, you can modify the OP & insert this post underneath.

I wish you a blissful home.

bukatyne:
Nice one.

Since you are the OP, you can modify the OP & insert this post underneath.

I wish you a blissful home.

Conventional wisdom which should have been applied long ago. Instead, she came here to be yarning dust

Ishilove:
Wos wos wobi, Mrs Ogbeni, shut the fvck up ke koshi danu. I had soundly ignored you previously, but i see you edited your post to add the last line. You think I have the time for useless e-fights? You may have the time but I definitely do not. You say if I should 'come at you with nonsense', you will reply in double measure or whatever rubbish you spewed. It is like you are high on your own potently stinky fart. You wrote nonsense many years ago and till date, even after seeing the light, you have not edited what you wrote. You started out saying marriage is bondage, and yet you still went into the same 'bondage'. Meanwhile, some foolish people will get their misguided inspiration from your original point of view. It reminds me of when Tonto was manless and she was calling herself 'king', but when Kpokpogari came into the picture, she remembered she is a woman and her son needs a father figure.

Wo, all of you should fvck off jare. Don't bother replying because I am going to ignore you so hard, you will doubt your own existence. Shior.

@,bold:

Isn't why they are foolish?

The OP did well & updated the thread; do you know how many people spew nonsense here daily while doing the opposite offline?

The onus lies on everyone to decipher what makes sense & follow it.

If they can't, maybe they aren't fit to be where they are in the first place.

Ishilove:
Conventional wisdom which should have been applied long ago. Instead, she came here to be yarning dust

Mama cool temper

Ishilove:
Make Jay head no too big. I just say it as it is

Nwene n'maru, ndawu. Umu igoshi nko?

A dawu o.kita anyi nor ulo nnem ni me abraka.

ahnie:
A dawu o.kita anyi nor ulo nnem ni me abraka.

Eku enjoyment. I'm pretty sure you have been screaming "leave there!" all day

Crackhauz oya i admit on ishi's hype on you.

Ishilove:
Eku enjoyment. I'm pretty sure you have been screaming "leave there!" all day

My mama don take ova the baton from me.lolz!



Pls let it slide you hear.

ahnie:
Jay's head is *bigging now**
Lolz.

Ngbotor de lor di?

Badu belle

ahnie:
Crackhauz oya i admit on ishi's hype on you.

You get choice?