I am a fervent reader on Nairaland and i dont miss this forum in 1 day, i have seen people share their concerns here and a lot of people have contributed through their comments, though some are hillarious while others are on point. i will appreciate matured responses.

I did not marry a stranger to start with and its why i am very pained cuz i come here on nairaland and see how people get frustrated about their marriage based on cogent reasons but mine is different.

first of all, I got married in february and am already very tired of my wife, not because she isnt very sexy or good in bed as other may experienced but because my wife starts arguments from little things as little as why did u miss my call, even if its a BBM call thats dependent of network, after hours of begging i have to end up with uncountable "am sorry".

secondly, my wife find it very easy to engage in malice for days without bothering to reconcile, and i have to talk to her over again and make her see reason why such act is not good in marriage, for which she will later apologize and the next day or same day she is back again in another episode.

thirdly, every man love to be respected, when my wife starts her drama about missed call or other flimsy excuses, she starts talking to me like am her junior brother, calling me names and after noticing how mad i am with her, she will apologize but always repeat such act.

i feel the amount of love and attention she gets from me is too much and i am beginning to think i should make her understand what it feels like to have a frustrated marriage. though am yet to do that.

i honestly am not perfect but i have never used any harsh word while addressing her even when she is obviously wrong, i dont do so because i know the feeling when she use them for me. i wish i could anyway.

i grew up in a place where women are highly regarded and well treated and maybe its affecting me because i also help her do chores and i dont push all the house work to her as most men do.

i noticed i am always very unhappy and depressed the moment she comes up with this episodes and it may be because i love her so much and this is beginning to affect how i study and i might be forced to push her away first by not giving her attention as i used to.

My fellow Nairalanders, i respect ur opinion, hillarious ones and reasonable ones, marriage is not a bed of roses, i love my wife and i am not cheating on her, i am 100% married to her alone but her attitude is frustrating and i might have to leave her in the end. i hope i get lucky and this make FP so i can learn from experienced members before i take a decision, as we speak she has began the malice episode with me and if i dont apologize to her in 3 days, she is ready to go that far too.

•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

was she like this when you guys were dating

Hnmm

Tell us more about your bbm chats

It could be that she is pregnant, pregnancy makes a wife to hate her husband sometimes.

I think ur wifehas temperissues, and umadea mistakein dfirst instanceby beingthe reciepinet (can't find wordstodescribe what I mean).
U jusst have to talk to her and let her know howhurt uu feel whenever she acts that way to u, and u can maybe buy her some books orr recommend her to videos that tell how onemanages ones temper. She mostly needs ur help.

It could be that she is pregnant, pregnancy makes a wife to behave like that sometimes.

momodub:
was she like this when you guys were dating

she was a little bit of a stubborn and volatile person but its worse now.

spyg1:
It could be that she is pregnant, pregnancy makes a wife to hate her husband sometimes.

she is not pregnant yet, we havent decided to start making babies yet, she is rounding up her studies part time

Keeping Malice is a "Lagoon Spirit".

Bro, was dia any courtship or direct entry

take it easy wit her, dont knw wat to tell u...

qbd2:
I think ur wifehas temperissues, and umadea mistakein dfirst instanceby beingthe reciepinet (can't find wordstodescribe what I mean).
U jusst have to talk to her and let her know howhurt uu feel whenever she acts that way to u, and u can maybe buy her some books orr recommend her to videos that tell how onemanages ones temper. She mostly needs ur help.

thanks a lot i truly value ur input.....

Young03:
Bro, was dia any courtship or direct entry

take it easy wit her, dont knw wat to tell u...

yes there was years of courtship, she might have anger management issues but i am not a psychologist, all i can do is talk to her but how do u talk about same thing every now and then. i hope u understand my point

kinda tired of reading this same story on nairaland, so let me give u the popular nairaland answer: "sit her down and discuss ur frustrations with her"

Moana:
Tell us more about your bbm chats

moana i dont understand what u mean, i ener saiud BBM chat, i mean the Voice over IP (VoIP) infrastructure BBM has, its network dependent and the moment i call u, ur network determines how audible i can be or how much i can spend talking to you, so wheneveri miss that call she starts the drama

multicast:
she was a little bit of a stubborn and volatile person but its worse now.

Op...its nice that you are acting maturely by not joining issues with your wife and keeping malice. Its always an honorable thing to say "sorry" just to avoid quarrels.

I've discover people don't really change...they get better or worst at who they are. So if she was stubborn @ Dating...she will continue with that attitude especially if you have overlooked it before marriage...(when u were still 'Love Blind"

Way Forward:

To be a Man you just have to be the man. Women are like Children, to be @ peace with them YOU MUST use the "Carrot and Stick " approach.

Be Firm and yet gentle with her.

Lastly communication is the KEY.

Hiannn. is this actually you or someone impersonating You? . You're becoming very mature this days o.hennnnn.i'm impressed. What a transformation. So there's nobody that cannot outgrow stoopeedity sha. Now this is a better coogar not the notorious coogar all over nl throwing tantrums

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

lofty900:
kinda tired of reading this same story on nairaland, so let me give u the popular nairaland answer: "sit her down and discuss ur frustrations with her"

i appreciate u bro, but maybe thats where the problem is, everyone use the popular line, sit her down bla bla bla, i came here because i thought there was something i am not doing, if i talk to ur wife she will recosider whether or not she was right to marry u. whenever i talk to her she gets sober and apologize and why do we have to go over the same thing all the time. right now i just kind of don't feel strong about her anymore.

was that y u just opened a new profile?

multicast:
moana i dont understand what u mean, i ener saiud BBM chat, i mean the Voice over IP (VoIP) infrastructure BBM has, its network dependent and the moment i call u, ur network determines how audible i can be or how much i can spend talking to you, so wheneveri miss that call she starts the drama

oh okay. Does your wife have a job?

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Wow coming from you? I am impressed

Op follow this.

"What God has joined together let no man put assunder"....you guys are now in the arena of KNOW ME.It a very beautiful sign of REAL LOVE.It think your wife still have some kind of childish act which will surely change after sometimes.As a real men those thing are nothing to worry about.Oga mi enjoy your marriage......cheers!!!.

jauntty:
Op...its nice that you are acting maturely by not joining issues with your wife and keeping malice. Its always an honorable thing to say "sorry" just to avoid quarrels.

I've discover people don't really change...they get better or worst at who they are. So if she was stubborn @ Dating...she will continue with that attitude especially if you have overlooked it before marriage...(when u were still 'Love Blind"

thanks brother, i was never love bling, i wasnt the kind of newby in relationship so there was never a time i was love blind, i have always call her attention to the issue and how much it brings gap into a marriage, now i need to know what exactly do i do to solve this problem, i dont wanna have to join the league of divorced couple but i must say, i cant focus once she starts cuz i love her a lot.

yungEX:
was that y u just opened a new profile?

since i introduced her to NL, she comes here everyday and i hope she gets to read this and probable understand i am talking about her and if you end up on a social network finding solution to ur problems maybe then there is a big problem

Moana:
oh okay. Does your wife have a job?

yes she has a job she is doing along with her schooling, u get but y did u ask, i would like to know more

Mrcdorv:
"What God has joined together let no man put assunder"....you guys are now in the arena of KNOW ME.It a very beautiful sign of REAL LOVE.It think your wife still have some kind of childish act which will surely change after sometimes.As a real men those thing are nothing to worry about.Oga mi enjoy your marriage......cheers!!!.

thank you very much, i know a lot of women say men dont like settling down this days but i must confess, this experience is enough to pack the bag and leave, if you love a woman and all that u get is a recurrence of what u abolish, its not worth it. but i love her so much, its why her manners and ways are affecting me so badly. i have an exam on the way and i cant focus. i told her about this and she dint say a word...still on malice episode

i dont think is best 4 u 2 say ur marriage is crashing. Anyway all u ave to do is sit her down n talk to u, tell her about d way u feel, expecially d words she uses on u. I wish u d best.

Didn't you notice her attitude when you were dating? I don't want to believe she just started exhibiting such all of a sudden.
As you said, maybe she's taking advantage of your regard for women knowing you would tolerate such rubbish. As much as I love your respect for women, I feel you should be a bit tougher because sadly, not all women should be treated with kid gloves. Some don't understand gentility, they see it as a sign of weakness.
Pray for her too.
It is well with you!

multicast:
yes there was years of courtship, she might have anger management issues but i am not a psychologist, all i can do is talk to her but how do u talk about same thing every now and then. i hope u understand my point

all u will do is dt,any day she is rantin,just remain silent and feel less concern,,if u do dt 4 like 3tym she will be feelin ashamed each tym she taks to u in dt manner

Oro shunukun,oju shunukun lafi wo..

Was she like that in courtship,if yet,you saw it,and jumped to it..

If not,she's just drunk in thought that you can't love another person,except her..

She's misbehaving,deal with that,show that you are a man. Do something you have done before to her,pls never hit. Just let her know,nobody has the monopoly of being aggressive,and malicious in nature..

*i never marry sha ooo,so my opinion can be crude*

Wit d power of understanding u will over come