₦airaland Forum

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Sucre6:
The phone pressing is just one way, there are other stuff u can do, why don't u dress up and go for a walk, I personally love driving very late in town at night, it give me peace of mine, might not be going anywhere, just drive around the empty road with a cool breeze pouring on your face and radio stations playing cool jams to go with, I know this because that's what I use to do when my babe would just pick up unnecessary quarrel,

I would just dress up and drive out, even if Nah 2am I don't care, after one hour and I wasn't back she will start calling like 999 times, I won't pick, she will go to WhatsApp to drop long apology voice note begging me to come back and how sorry she is

It got to a point, when ever she wants to talk to me about something bordering her, she will use a very cool voice and a puppy eyes make I no just perceive unnecessary anger and aggression from her, I will just wear cloth and off I go.

You gotta place her where she belong, she got to acknowledge me and me alone, two majors can't captain a ship, it's either me or me. You gotta make that clear, define issues and create boundaries

Kobojunkie:
If you were here in the States, your neighbours would probably have called the cops on you, and you would have spent the night in jail. Your story about your wife provoking you would not have mattered because you raised your hand in violence against her, and her retaliation would easily.... The law and society is too lapse as far as violence is concerned in Nigeria.

Anyways, the deed has been done and you both cannot continue as you are. Provided your wife has no intentions of seeing you charged for violating her right as a human being, you both should probably engage a professional marriage counselor asap. Whatever it is that has been eating at you both, you should talk about, and maybe decide from there whether your union is worth keeping or not.

Your mum should also probably leave the environment, so husband and wife can have time alone to marinade on what has finally happened to their marriage as well.

I would also like to add that you can both benefit individually from some mental health counselling if there are anger issues apparent. You make your wife sound like she has anger issues she is dealing with, but since she isn't the one speaking, there isn't a way of really telling. However, for you, don't hesitate to get some anger management counseling for future.

Kobojunkie:
If you were here in the States, your neighbours would probably have called the cops on you, and you would have spent the night in jail. Your story about your wife provoking you would not have mattered because you raised your hand in violence against her, and her retaliation would easily.... The law and society is too lapse as far as violence is concerned in Nigeria.

Anyways, the deed has been done and you both cannot continue as you are. Provided your wife has no intentions of seeing you charged for violating her right as a human being, you both should probably engage a professional marriage counselor asap. Whatever it is that has been eating at you both, you should talk about, and maybe decide from there whether your union is worth keeping or not.

Your mum should also probably leave the environment, so husband and wife can have time alone to marinade on what has finally happened to their marriage as well.

I would also like to add that you can both benefit individually from some mental health counselling if there are anger issues apparent. You make your wife sound like she has anger issues she is dealing with, but since she isn't the one speaking, there isn't a way of really telling. However, for you, don't hesitate to get some anger management counseling for future.

Blessedmercy8:
Op, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your actions. Some times when human beings behave like animals, there's need to reset their brains back by giving them some form of discipline.

From all you said, it's like your wife is taking your gentility for stupidity hence her incessant tantrums and disrespect to you.

I know her type. Once they see you're not the type that beat women, they'll want to climb your head. So it was necessary you beat some sense into her. I'm also a lady and don't support domestic violence of any kind but your woman overdid it and it was best you called her to order in the language she understands better.

My advice, if she raises her voice at you again over any argument, get a proper cane and flog her on her legs. Since she lacks home training, she'll have to get it all over again. Afterall as children, we were flogged as corrective measures to reset our brains and make us respectful children. So no biggies if you introduce the same measure to tame a rude adult. Flog her on her legs. Nonsense!

I wonder what some married women were doing in their youth and singles days if they didn't learn to be respectful good wifes and virtuous women to their husbands.

It is for this purpose churches organize youth and singles programs and seminars. Some will not attend, some will attend but will only go there to look for a guy or lady to toast, learning nothing at the end of the day and tomorrow they'll be rushing into marriage with empty heads only to start misbehaving.

Please no body should mention me to say trash cos this is how I feel about the whole thing and I've only given my sincere take on the matter. I'm not one to sugarcoat my words to please anybody or gender.
Just say your own and pass.

TheRealestGuy:
1. There is something actually called "provocation" in law which can be considered for lesser punishment than if it were "malicous or premeditated" She has been provoking him deliberately, this is the outcome.
2.Yes he's guilty of assault, but she can be said to arguably be guilty of provocation. That being said, for the OP, this to me is a sign that it's not going to work. Cut your losses early and move on imo.
Cheers.

Troubledman:
Hmmm. I read all the comments. I deserve all the bashing and more. I do not excuse hitting her, I just called her father now to apologize and confess for hitting her but I told the whole story. Everyone is aware of her aggressive nature. Everytjme he talks to her, its always to tell her to take it easy. I'm also vindicated in the fact that I called her close friend about 3 days to report her. I'm not proud of it but this lady makes my life hell.

Ironically. She doesn't have big boobs or breasts. I decided to marry her because I heard her story and like me she'd been through a lot. I thought that would make use both mature, understand how life works and know how to manage situations but that hasn't been the case.

I walked away, I left. I stayed elsewhere. I gave her space. She came to meet me where I was repeatedly. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't leave the house. I gave as much space as I can. She kept pushing. But that's no excuse. I Bleep up I know.

She left rhis morning. Continued insulting us.

Newborn27:
Reading through your post, I can perceive that you're a Yoruba man.

Firstly I'd like to caution you on this which I'm glad your conscience had already dealt with you....no matter how heated up the argument may be or how furious you might seem......DO NOT RAISE YOUR HANDS AGAINST THE WOMAN YOU LOVED......the best thing at that point is to take a deep breath.....and walk away, after some hours.... come back home and talk it out in a calm manner, then apologize where necessary to enable peace in your home.*looto omo ale loma n rinu ti koni bi...paapajulo ti o ba ti je lori oro iya eni....sugbon...ko soun ti suuru kii yanju.


Hint - no matter the amount of love of a woman has for her spouse...once you raise your hand against her....it will depreciate and she'd always reminiscence on that except if you make up with greater affection in future. Furthermore, no matter who's at fault... people will never be on your side once you lay your hands on her...oti jebi


On her part...... she's a new bride....I hope you remembered she hasn't been to a husband's house before and all she had was her biological parents no in-laws.....she might flop sometimes...grow with her in her new lifestyle... correct her in love ...as time goes by...she'd adjust....about her aggressiveness.... kindly accept her for who she is since no human is perfect....you perseverance can change her personality..... it might take time... marriage is not a bed of roses.... you should be there for one another when it's sour and rosy.



Lastly.... before I comment on your post.... I've been having some monickers that would come out to attack you in mind....and they never fail to disappoint....dem don land already...lol
Be ready for their bashing because they have a team and follow one another like ant and sugar....do not take their bashing to heart.... instead...pick few things that can help your home and move on.....one thing I realized about these set of people is that.....some of them never had a home or had been jilted hence they unleashed their frustrations on every erring male.... while little among them are like that due to their exposure living in a saner clime(which I'm envious of) they feel irritated at domestic violence cos they feel its abnormal which I'm in support of.


In conclusion, try to keep your extended family away from your home..... I'm not saying you should neglect them or not visit....but do things moderately....e get why.


Make I stop here.

Troubledman:
I never wanted to involve parents or friends. But she brought them in, in a spate of anger in December last year. When I saw some incriminating things on her phone and left the house. She called all my family, my friends, her family. Reporting me for leaving the house.

When my family tried to get involved then, I told them to stay out of it as it was my family issue. So my own family has never been involved. They're involvement now is because we've been paying a visit here for about a week now and she decided to act up in the presence of my mum.

Other times she waits to get into the room before shouting, but yesterday was really a shock to me. Shouting at me in the presence of my mum.

Ironically, she's going about telling people that I was the one shouting at her, which is a big fat lie, I swear on it. I respect my mother too much to shout in front of her. Heck even in the middle of the night. My mother still told me to apologize to her and I did. She made me apologize thrice.

Troubledman:
I never wanted to involve parents or friends. But she brought them in, in a spate of anger in December last year. When I saw some incriminating things on her phone and left the house. She called all my family, my friends, her family. Reporting me for leaving the house.

When my family tried to get involved then, I told them to stay out of it as it was my family issue. So my own family has never been involved. They're involvement now is because we've been paying a visit here for about a week now and she decided to act up in the presence of my mum.

Other times she waits to get into the room before shouting, but yesterday was really a shock to me. Shouting at me in the presence of my mum.

Ironically, she's going about telling people that I was the one shouting at her, which is a big fat lie, I swear on it. I respect my mother too much to shout in front of her. Heck even in the middle of the night. My mother still told me to apologize to her and I did. She made me apologize thrice.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Newborn27:
Reading through your post, I can perceive that you're a Yoruba man.

Firstly I'd like to caution you on this which I'm glad your conscience had already dealt with you....no matter how heated up the argument may be or how furious you might seem......DO NOT RAISE YOUR HANDS AGAINST THE WOMAN YOU LOVED......the best thing at that point is to take a deep breath.....and walk away, after some hours.... come back home and talk it out in a calm manner, then apologize where necessary to enable peace in your home.*looto omo ale loma n rinu ti koni bi...paapajulo ti o ba ti je lori oro iya eni....sugbon...ko soun ti suuru kii yanju.


Hint - no matter the amount of love of a woman has for her spouse...once you raise your hand against her....it will depreciate and she'd always reminiscence on that except if you make up with greater affection in future. Furthermore, no matter who's at fault... people will never be on your side once you lay your hands on her...oti jebi


On her part...... she's a new bride....I hope you remembered she hasn't been to a husband's house before and all she had was her biological parents no in-laws.....she might flop sometimes...grow with her in her new lifestyle... correct her in love ...as time goes by...she'd adjust....about her aggressiveness.... kindly accept her for who she is since no human is perfect....you perseverance can change her personality..... it might take time... marriage is not a bed of roses.... you should be there for one another when it's sour and rosy.



Lastly.... before I comment on your post.... I've been having some monickers that would come out to attack you in mind....and they never fail to disappoint....dem don land already...lol
Be ready for their bashing because they have a team and follow one another like ant and sugar....do not take their bashing to heart.... instead...pick few things that can help your home and move on.....one thing I realized about these set of people is that.....some of them never had a home or had been jilted hence they unleashed their frustrations on every erring male.... while little among them are like that due to their exposure living in a saner clime(which I'm envious of) they feel irritated at domestic violence cos they feel its abnormal which I'm in support of.


In conclusion, try to keep your extended family away from your home..... I'm not saying you should neglect them or not visit....but do things moderately....e get why.


Make I stop here.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Troubledman:
I never wanted to involve parents or friends. But she brought them in, in a spate of anger in December last year. When I saw some incriminating things on her phone and left the house. She called all my family, my friends, her family. Reporting me for leaving the house.

When my family tried to get involved then, I told them to stay out of it as it was my family issue. So my own family has never been involved. They're involvement now is because we've been paying a visit here for about a week now and she decided to act up in the presence of my mum.

Other times she waits to get into the room before shouting, but yesterday was really a shock to me. Shouting at me in the presence of my mum.

Ironically, she's going about telling people that I was the one shouting at her, which is a big fat lie, I swear on it. I respect my mother too much to shout in front of her. Heck even in the middle of the night. My mother still told me to apologize to her and I did. She made me apologize thrice.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

membranus:
All women are not the same. The way your own wife behaves using your anger control strategy does not mean his own wife will react the same way. She might even assume he is going out that often to meet another woman, thereby escalating the disagreement to another level.

Woman needs a firm control right from the beginning of a relationship, let them know you are the man, and won't take any nonsense from them.

Our ancestor Adam was too soft on Eve his wife, and see where it landed the whole human race: majority are going to perdition.

Dbrawllm0098:
Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

this post is just like plastic surgery...

... FAKE ...

... so much perfection ...

.... Na sleep dey worry you. When you wake read your lies again

oldienavie:
I am sorry OP for what you are experiencing, I can only pray that God will bring peace to your home.

But how do men marry this kind of women ?
Is it because of big boobs or sex blinding them that you will not know what the person you are marrying is capable of ?

1 year is enough to identify these kind of traits, why do men in Nigeria, where women are so plenty and the odds are in favour of the men, yet men still end up marrying these kind of women ?

What is wrong with you men ?

I know women can pretend, but 1 year of dating is more than enough to know if you are marrying a devil or angel....

When men choose to marry SU sisters, it is because of things like this, no matter how bad a SU sister is, her craze cannot be as bad as these retired oloshos running around, dey full churches like COZA, Winners chapel etc....
Once you enter their trap your life is ruined.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Blessedmercy8:
Lol.. abeg o. No touch the face o.

Just get a slim pankere for such stubborn women and flog their leg.

Like seriously, when I see how our mothers respected our dads even in a heated argument, it breaks my heart how the women of this generation now treat their husbands.

Those days, even if you want to answer your husband, na from a safe distance and with calculated words you know is not going to send you to your father's house. But these days, you'll see one small thing forming this their mumu woke and be pointing their husbands in the face, talking to him like their houseboy.

I'm not saying men don't provoke women o but as a virtuous woman, I expect you to just break down and cry. The man will even feel it and not do it again but no, they want to talk. Freedom of speech they learnt in the University. Gender equality and all those mumu philosophy of theirs.

Na dem dey kuku hear am.

emmanuelbrown26:
That's why whenever u see a woman shedding one crocodile tears about d husband, I will just close my ears with earpiece bcs u will never ever hear d truth from them, always playing d victim card