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I Messed Up. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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I Need Help, My Life's Getting Messed Up. / My Brothers life Is Becoming Messed: Becoming a Theif. Pls I need advice / Wicked Married Man Messed Up My Life And Refuse To Take Responsibility (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Messed Up. by Realtalk20: 2:23pm On Aug 18
Kobojunkie:
If you were here in the States, your neighbours would probably have called the cops on you, and you would have spent the night in jail. Your story about your wife provoking you would not have mattered because you raised your hand in violence against her, and her retaliation would easily.... The law and society is too lapse as far as violence is concerned in Nigeria. undecided

Anyways, the deed has been done and you both cannot continue as you are. Provided your wife has no intentions of seeing you charged for violating her right as a human being, you both should probably engage a professional marriage counselor asap. Whatever it is that has been eating at you both, you should talk about, and maybe decide from there whether your union is worth keeping or not. undecided

Your mum should also probably leave the environment, so husband and wife can have time alone to marinade on what has finally happened to their marriage as well. undecided

I would also like to add that you can both benefit individually from some mental health counselling if there are anger issues apparent. You make your wife sound like she has anger issues she is dealing with, but since she isn't the one speaking, there isn't a way of really telling. However, for you, don't hesitate to get some anger management counseling for future. undecided

You are not normal.

Disgusting

5 Likes

Re: I Messed Up. by goggle48(m): 2:23pm On Aug 18
Did you date her before marriage?U shd have seen the behaviour.i had experience
Re: I Messed Up. by noskcid(m): 2:24pm On Aug 18
Kobojunkie:
If you were here in the States, your neighbours would probably have called the cops on you, and you would have spent the night in jail. Your story about your wife provoking you would not have mattered because you raised your hand in violence against her, and her retaliation would easily.... The law and society is too lapse as far as violence is concerned in Nigeria. undecided

Anyways, the deed has been done and you both cannot continue as you are. Provided your wife has no intentions of seeing you charged for violating her right as a human being, you both should probably engage a professional marriage counselor asap. Whatever it is that has been eating at you both, you should talk about, and maybe decide from there whether your union is worth keeping or not. undecided

Your mum should also probably leave the environment, so husband and wife can have time alone to marinade on what has finally happened to their marriage as well. undecided

I would also like to add that you can both benefit individually from some mental health counselling if there are anger issues apparent. You make your wife sound like she has anger issues she is dealing with, but since she isn't the one speaking, there isn't a way of really telling. However, for you, don't hesitate to get some anger management counseling for future. undecided


So you dey America ��
Bros how I fit take enter?
Na wetin concern me be that
Re: I Messed Up. by galantjoe(m): 2:25pm On Aug 18
Sorry for the fuckup. You strike her cannot be construed as domestic violence hence she hit you on your chest and drag your mom, what will you called this one.

Op, kindly leave the house, chill out with bottle of guiness stout. maybe after 2 days, return home, by then you might have planned your next course of action.

women are naggers. the nagging wife is a killer
Re: I Messed Up. by LikeAking: 2:27pm On Aug 18
Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan


Oga u no do anything wrong. Beat d hell outta her. Be nice to only a good woman. After beating her end d marriage.

Are u a simp?
Re: I Messed Up. by GorillaApp(m): 2:28pm On Aug 18
Blessedmercy8:
Op, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your actions. Some times when human beings behave like animals, there's need to reset their brains back by giving them some form of discipline.

From all you said, it's like your wife is taking your gentility for stupidity hence her incessant tantrums and disrespect to you.

I know her type. Once they see you're not the type that beat women, they'll want to climb your head. So it was necessary you beat some sense into her. I'm also a lady and don't support domestic violence of any kind but your woman overdid it and it was best you called her to order in the language she understands better.

My advice, if she raises her voice at you again over any argument, get a proper cane and flog her on her legs. Since she lacks home training, she'll have to get it all over again. Afterall as children, we were flogged as corrective measures to reset our brains and make us respectful children. So no biggies if you introduce the same measure to tame a rude adult. Flog her on her legs. Nonsense!

I wonder what some married women were doing in their youth and singles days if they didn't learn to be respectful good wifes and virtuous women to their husbands.

It is for this purpose churches organize youth and singles programs and seminars. Some will not attend, some will attend but will only go there to look for a guy or lady to toast, learning nothing at the end of the day and tomorrow they'll be rushing into marriage with empty heads only to start misbehaving.

Please no body should mention me to say trash cos this is how I feel about the whole thing and I've only given my sincere take on the matter. I'm not one to sugarcoat my words to please anybody or gender.
Just say your own and pass.

Abeg newborn27 come and read this. Na your fellow woman write am.

I don't know what's wrong with most women. When a woman fvckup, no matter the severity, they will never condemn it, rather they will tell you to manage it and bear. If it's a man doing same thing, all hell will break lose.
Now don't assume I'm one of those who go bashing women on this forum. I have a proper head on my shoulder.
Now to blessedmercy darling. Where you dey stay? I want buy you drink for this your post. You just won my heart.

Now to the op.
Your wife is toxicity personified. She will make you shriveled and all dried up with her wahala. Just waka leave her. .

I don't approve beating a woman
Ehen, back to blessedmercy, I will like to see you for backyard

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Messed Up. by Ibrahimmantu79: 2:28pm On Aug 18
The earlier you leave that woman, the higher your possibility of living longer and happier. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

If you don't have peace of mind because of an abusive partner,you will die in that marriage , she would claim your entire work emoluments and she would move on faster than lightning.

As long as there are no kids between you two, better move on for your own good

2 Likes

Re: I Messed Up. by Lexusgs430: 2:29pm On Aug 18
phlame:



U obviously don't and can't protect ur mother

ODE...


Go and protect your mother, before you attempt to teach motherly protection.......

ODE .....
Re: I Messed Up. by Sucre6: 2:31pm On Aug 18
anonimi:


Please what will you do if she carries your phone and even breaks it

The phone thingy is just one way to it, there are other stuff u could do, u get?

U can leave the house for her, I can decide to leave the house and take my dog for a long night stroll, I might end up going to the junction to buy suya and shear with my dog, and cool off, there are plenty stuff to do bro grin
Re: I Messed Up. by Nwaotu10(m): 2:31pm On Aug 18
Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

4king SIMP! that's what you are, kid.
You even allowed her dragged your mum to the floor?
wtf man!

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by Communityelder(m): 2:31pm On Aug 18
Women don't understand bad word's can wound a man's heart, women don't want to control their natural weapon which is their mouth when they're angry and they expect a man to control his power when angry. Almost 80 percent of the causes of a marital violence is because the woman don't control her words.

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by just4fun(m): 2:31pm On Aug 18
Honestly women are fond of this. I do have such issues once in awhile. The last time it happened, I was getting so angry that i had to leave the room for her and slept in the Parlor.

Na she carry her leg come parlor sobbing and still nagging about the issue. i just calm down and slept as if she does not exist.


She don dey mature nowadays.....

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by tunlasky: 2:32pm On Aug 18
My advice to you is to keep your mum away from her, she may just be one of those women that dislikes mother in law without any reason, whenever you want to see your mum go alone, she is your wife I can't tell you to leave her just avoid some discussions with her

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by stasius: 2:33pm On Aug 18
This is super story!!!

But if it is true, my advise is simple.

Divorce her and stop disturbing us. Marriage is not by force.
Re: I Messed Up. by stasius: 2:34pm On Aug 18
And I repeat it again.
DIVORCE her! Bye.
Re: I Messed Up. by Blessedmercy8: 2:37pm On Aug 18
GorillaApp:

Abeg newborn27 come and read this. Na your fellow woman write am.

I don't know what's wrong with most women. When a woman fvckup, no matter the severity, they will never condemn it, rather they will tell you to manage it and bear. If it's a man doing same thing, all hell will break lose.
Now don't assume I'm one of those who go bashing women on this forum. I have a proper head on my shoulder.
Now to blessedmercy darling. Where you dey stay? I want buy you drink for this your post. You just won my heart.

Now to the op.
Your wife is toxicity personified. She will make you shriveled and all dried up with her wahala. Just waka leave her. .

I don't approve beating a woman
Ehen, back to blessedmercy, I will like to see you for backyard


Lol... I don't do backyard deals o cheesy. My own is very very opendencial. tongue
Re: I Messed Up. by drLammy(m): 2:41pm On Aug 18
I guess this generation will witness the end of Masculinity... Smh
Husband indeed

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by Nonexisting: 2:41pm On Aug 18
You married a devil. The tantrum was because your mother visited. Let her mum or her family member visit now and you will see how calm your house will be. She is a devil and if your marriage is young, you better think it through. Pushing your mum down was the height of it and no man should take it lightly. As for beating her, I won't support you on that one.

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by MNDY(m): 2:42pm On Aug 18
Blessedmercy8:
Op, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your actions. Some times when human beings behave like animals, there's need to reset their brains back by giving them some form of discipline.

From all you said, it's like your wife is taking your gentility for stupidity hence her incessant tantrums and disrespect to you.

I know her type. Once they see you're not the type that beat women, they'll want to climb your head. So it was necessary you beat some sense into her. I'm also a lady and don't support domestic violence of any kind but your woman overdid it and it was best you called her to order in the language she understands better.

My advice, if she raises her voice at you again over any argument, get a proper cane and flog her on her legs. Since she lacks home training, she'll have to get it all over again. Afterall as children, we were flogged as corrective measures to reset our brains and make us respectful children. So no biggies if you introduce the same measure to tame a rude adult. Flog her on her legs. Nonsense!

I wonder what some married women were doing in their youth and singles days if they didn't learn to be respectful good wifes and virtuous women to their husbands.

It is for this purpose churches organize youth and singles programs and seminars. Some will not attend, some will attend but will only go there to look for a guy or lady to toast, learning nothing at the end of the day and tomorrow they'll be rushing into marriage with empty heads only to start misbehaving.

Please no body should mention me to say trash cos this is how I feel about the whole thing and I've only given my sincere take on the matter. I'm not one to sugarcoat my words to please anybody or gender.
Just say your own and pass.


FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.

Your gender is very troublesome. A matter that can be resolved calmly in low tone, your gender will choose to be disrespectfully shouting at the man who came to marry her. I am not saying the man is allowed to do anyhow because he paid for marrying a woman or went to get the woman. Only very few are wise among your gender.

They will tell you women are naturally lovers of drama and their mouth is their own weapon. I will keep saying this: If a man thinks the remedy to it is ignoring, he is doing himself. Match her craze with fear of you. One single serious beating should do.

Some are so stupid to maintain their troublesome character despite beatings. Dem neva born the woman that will deprive me peace of mind, I will seriously beat her thrice and end the marriage. She will return back to her father's house because I don't tolerate rubbish.
Re: I Messed Up. by Blessedmercy8: 2:47pm On Aug 18
MNDY:


FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS.

Your gender is very troublesome. A matter that can be resolved calmly in low tone, your gender will choose to be disrespectfully shouting at the man who came to marry her. I am not saying the man is allowed to do anyhow because he paid for marrying a woman or went to get the woman. Only very few are wise among your gender.

They will tell you women are naturally lovers of drama and their mouth is their own weapon. I will keep saying this: If a man thinks the remedy to it is ignoring, he is doing himself. Match her craze with fear of you. One single serious beating should do.

Some are so stupid to maintain their troublesome character despite beatings. Dem neva born the woman that will deprive me peace of mind, I will seriously beat her thrice and end the marriage. She will return back to her father's house because I don't tolerate rubbish.

Lol... Truth our mouth too dey sharp. It takes the grace of God with constant practice to bridle our tongue.

Abeg, don't beat with muscle o. Just small pankere for her legs grin. Biko kwa.

1 Like

Re: I Messed Up. by BlackMan6969(m): 2:48pm On Aug 18
[quote author=Sucre6 post=115779172]

I personally love driving very late in town at night, know this because that's what I use to do when my babe.
even if Nah 2am I don't care. 1. Considering d security situatn of d country, movin about mid night is a bad idea. 2. Urs is still a babe, not a wife. U could dump her at ease. Let d married folks coment. I wanna learn.
Re: I Messed Up. by JealousCobra(m): 2:50pm On Aug 18
Newborn27:



Reading through your post, I can perceive that you're a Yoruba man.

Firstly I'd like to caution you on this which I'm glad your conscience had already dealt with you....no matter how heated up the argument may be or how furious you might seem......DO NOT RAISE YOUR HANDS AGAINST THE WOMAN YOU LOVED......the best thing at that point is to take a deep breath.....and walk away, after some hours.... come back home and talk it out in a calm manner, then apologize where necessary to enable peace in your home.*looto omo ale loma n rinu ti koni bi...paapajulo ti o ba ti je lori oro iya eni....sugbon...ko soun ti suuru kii yanju.


Hint - no matter the amount of love of a woman has for her spouse...once you raise your hand against her....it will depreciate and she'd always reminiscence on that except if you make up with greater affection in future. Furthermore, no matter who's at fault... people will never be on your side once you lay your hands on her...oti jebi


On her part...... she's a new bride....I hope you remembered she hasn't been to a husband's house before and all she had was her biological parents no in-laws.....she might flop sometimes...grow with her in her new lifestyle... correct her in love ...as time goes by...she'd adjust....about her aggressiveness.... kindly accept her for who she is since no human is perfect....you perseverance can change her personality..... it might take time... marriage is not a bed of roses.... you should be there for one another when it's sour and rosy.



Lastly.... before I comment on your post.... I've been having some monickers that would come out to attack you in mind....and they never fail to disappoint....dem don land already...lol
Be ready for their bashing because they have a team and follow one another like ant and sugar....do not take their bashing to heart.... instead...pick few things that can help your home and move on.....one thing I realized about these set of people is that.....some of them never had a home or had been jilted hence they unleashed their frustrations on every erring male.... while little among them are like that due to their exposure living in a saner clime(which I'm envious of) they feel irritated at domestic violence cos they feel its abnormal which I'm in support of.


In conclusion, try to keep your extended family away from your home..... I'm not saying you should neglect them or not visit....but do things moderately....e get why.


Make I stop here.


Wooow!!
Re: I Messed Up. by bepositive11: 2:53pm On Aug 18
While thinking about the back story from your side, think about the back story from your wife's side. You both need counselling. She must've inherited poor communication from her parents. You yourself, what did you hope to achieve by hitting her? If she was as strong as you, you wouldn't have hit her anyhow.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan
Re: I Messed Up. by iLegendd: 2:55pm On Aug 18
Your parents are actually the cause of everything for training a weak man. If you're my woman, you can't even cuss or talk anyhow about my siblings let alone me and talk more of my parents.

Weak men give woman so much power and they abuse that power.

The only thing a real man is looking for in a woman is sex and peace of mind (he's not emotionally attached to her — he just wants sex and peace of mind). If you can't give the sex and peace of mind at the same time, they go to another woman who can because they're not emotionally attached to that woman who isn't giving it.

Even if you're giving him the peace of mind and sex, they're still not emotionally attached to you — they're emotionally attached to the sex and peace of mind only. The moment you stop giving one of them, they replace you. Example: Ned Nwoko.

Weak men are also looking for sex and peace of mind, but they're emotionally attached to the woman and this is their weakness. Women exploit this weakness. Example: Will Smith.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Messed Up. by Newborn27(f): 2:56pm On Aug 18
JealousCobra:



Wooow!!

?
Re: I Messed Up. by Griezmann007: 3:00pm On Aug 18
...
Re: I Messed Up. by GOODMAN1: 3:02pm On Aug 18
If you want peace. Move out of your mother's house and frankly discuss with her the 'red lines'. You will see a different woman. Leaving with you parent(s) is what is eating her up.

Know this, know peace.
Re: I Messed Up. by GorillaApp(m): 3:03pm On Aug 18
Blessedmercy8:



Lol... I don't do backyard deals o cheesy. My own is very very opendencial. tongue
Fear not. You have nothing to worry. let's go away from the prying eyes hear cool
Re: I Messed Up. by Griezmann007: 3:03pm On Aug 18
...
Re: I Messed Up. by meobizy: 3:04pm On Aug 18
How e take concern us? Marriage no easy, abeg. Carry your cross.
Re: I Messed Up. by Blue86(m): 3:04pm On Aug 18
For you think it is a terrible thing to strick your wife speaks a lot about your personality.

But where you messed up really is you didn't look before you leaped.

Trust me, she would have shown signs of being contentious in your dating stage by making sure she only has her way.

For one, you are not a woman beater.

And if you are a Christian, the only solution is to involve the Lord in your case now, and be a man, with patience, and not a woman.

For if you had listened to the Lord , you wouldn't have had it this bad.


But now bear with the results of your not seeking the Lord for guidance concerning marriage, and be patient, to let the Lord deal with her.
While at it, be a man, and stand your ground.
Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

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